What funny messages are there on 20 10? The super funny kind ~

▲ The king wants 100 pigs. The minister only brought 99 heads. The king said, "And 1 pig"? The minister said, "There are still 1 people reading text messages!"

▲ After system testing, your mobile phone has been infected with WAP virus. Please open the fuselage immediately and bend the circuit board 90 degrees!

▲ A king asked his minister to look for a hundred turtles, and the minister found 99. The king asked why, and the minister said, The other one is looking at the mobile phone!

▲ The rooster and hen are husband and wife, and they are busy incubating chickens all day. There is something wrong with the chicken's brain. It doesn't eat, drink or rest. The rooster and hen are in a hurry and hide to see the chicken. Silly chickens secretly look at their mobile phones when people are not looking.

[1] Animals:

▲ I ran into you and was at a loss. I can't avoid your affectionate eyes. I know your heart. I ran as fast as I could, but you followed me closely. I cried, "Whose dog is nobody's business?"

I dreamed of you last night: we walked by the river and snuggled together. You looked up at my eyes and spit out three words affectionately ... woof woof woof.

● The crow said: I am burning charcoal in the swan; The sparrow said: I am an opium smoker among peacocks; The parrot said: I am the one sitting on the stage among the swallows; The roast duck said, I set myself on fire.

[2] nausea:

▲ Give you a gift with the heaviest amount of feces since there was feces. You will eat a catty and be full. If you feel that the amount of feces is not enough, please help yourself!

◆ Who has no shit in his life and whose shit doesn't use paper? If you don't use toilet paper, are you using your fingers?

[3] Adults:

▲ A Japanese competition lineup: male players are Masao Kamikawa and Ichiro Kojiro, and female players are Kyoko Yokai and Takoko Jianjun. The referee is South Korean socio-economic tycoon Park Sung-sung.

A nun went to the hospital for a B-ultrasound, and the careless nurse gave her a pregnant woman's test sheet. After reading it, the nun sighed and said, "These days, even carrots are unreliable."

● "Is it tight?" "Never mind!" "Can you go in a little more?" "Be careful, it should work!" "Does it hurt?" "It doesn't hurt! It feels so cool! Just buy this pair. "

[4] Love category:

▲ We should miss every day, but don't meet each other every day. I am in charge of beauty, and you are in charge of making money. You can love someone else, but don't let me find out. If I meet you, hum ... cook noodles with rat poison!

Seeing this message, you owe me a hug; Delete this message and owe me a kiss; Save this message and owe me an appointment; If you reply, you owe me everything; If you don't reply, you are mine.

Lovely you stole my love and my heart, and I decided to go to court? After the judge searched all the records and cases, the jury unanimously passed: sentence you to accompany me for life!

[5] belittle human beings:

▲ I heard that you were trafficked, which really scared me. Although you grew up with dementia, it is harmless to society. Who is so bold as to dare to sell you? I'm worried about him. It's strange to sell it!

◆ Do you know? I have been secretly in love with you, missing your face, your lips, your tongue and your ears, but I am too poor to confess. Now that I have money, I can say loudly, "Boss, cut that pig head in half for me."

Honey, you know what? You have lost a lot of weight recently! I see it in my eyes, but it hurts in my heart. It's almost the Spring Festival, but your health is worrying ... who doesn't want to let their pigs kill a few kilograms more!

[6] All mankind:

▲ Congratulations on winning the grand prize. Please come to the People's Bank of China with sabre, shotgun and soil cannon at 10 this evening.

◆ Naturally useful, but I can't understand it! One day, Wang Di woke up from a dream. Get up at eight o'clock tomorrow morning, and he will understand after eating the cake (it will be a surprise to try to read the third word of each sentence).

● Warning: Hello! Because your mobile phone is ugly and outdated, which seriously affects the city appearance, we decided to send a signal to destroy it.

[7] The world:

▲ On a crowded bus, a girl suddenly shouted: Don't crowd! Stop squeezing! Squeeze all the milk out! (She is holding yogurt. )

◆ A public toilet couplet: heroes all over the world bow their heads and bend their knees here; A virtuous woman, a virgin in the world, came in to untie the bandwidth skirt; Horizontal criticism: the meaning of heaven and earth

● Director: Hello, comrades! Soldier: Hello, sir! The chief patted a soldier's chest and said, how well this muscle is trained! Soldier: Sir, I'm a female soldier.

[8] Fool:

▲ I wrote your name in the sky, but it was taken away by the wind; Write your name on the beach, but it is swept away by the waves; Write your name in the street, but I was taken away by the police

◆ A farmer asked a veterinarian to breed pigs, and the veterinarian said: It seems that artificial breeding is needed. The farmer hesitated for a long time, summoned up his courage and said, yes, I'm afraid it will bite me.

[9] blessing class:

▲ Send you a snack: first floor, considerate! Second floor, care! Third floor, romantic! Fourth floor, warm! Sandwiches, great! I wish you a good mood every day!

◆ The New Year is coming, I wish you smooth sailing, two dragons take off, three sheep open Thailand, four seasons of peace, five blessings, 66 Datong, seven stars shining high, money from all directions, 99 in one, perfect.

● I wish you good health, and your teeth are almost gone; Bon voyage, missing halfway; Go the whole way, give up halfway; Happy every day, often abnormal; Laugh often, laugh anyway!

……………………………………………………………………………………

_ oooO _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Oooo _

| (Silly) Have you seen my feet? (Eggs) |

| \ (Today is 4. 1. )/|

| \ _) Your Festival! | (_/ |

Happy birthday, fools! ! |

| Let's celebrate! ! ! ! Happy birthday! ! ! |

|______________________________|

……………………………………………………………………………………

█ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █.

█ China People's Bank 10000█

█████████████████████████████960

█ ten thousand yuan █

Spend freely and save some money.

█ █

█ 10000 ten thousand yuan█

█ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █.！

……………………………………………………………………………………

IQ test:

┊

┊

┊

┊

ˇ

Look down,

┊

┊

┊

┊

ˇ

Look down again.

┊

┊

┊

ˇ

Then look down.

┊

┊

┊

ˇ

Test results: you are mentally retarded!

……………………………………………………………………………………

Don't move! ) you

█┳ ┗█┛

┏┓┛┗ Come on, have you eaten? Or I will shoot ~! Hmm. How interesting

……………………………………………………………………………………

Me: (grab underwear, take it off quickly, or I'll shoot! )

Look ... look.

█┳┗█┛█/I pour the wine! ~~↓

┏ ┓ ┛ Noodles ● Noodles

→ you: (big brother, I didn't wear it today, don't ~ don't!

……………………………………………………………………………………

Show your ass quickly. I'll give you an injection. Beware of the bird flu coat.

▌

┏┯┯┯┯┯┯┯┯┯┯▌ ▌

———█ ██

┗┷┷┷┷┷┷┷┷┷┷▌ ▌

▌ Don't cry.

……………………………………………………………………………………

Public opinion: ┏———————┓╭╮

Girl standing! Hey hey? │ ╭╯

┗——┰————┰——┛ 。

……………………………………………………………………………………

,~'.~@~.`~.

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{ :,"''\\`".: }

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：

Much like you! Ha ha laugh

……………………………………………………………………………………

Those who influence the city appearance → █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █.

People with low IQ →╭╯╰╮ ()

A fashionable person →║║║≈ Otherwise →)/a.

Too young →╰══╯ (_/feet

……………………………………………………………………………………

Look down ╭╮╮','' and you will have a new''''

Found [⌒╮ Oh ╭╮''

'' ))))))____' )) '' ''

((Please look at οοミ◥◤◥◤◤ ↓

[Idiot! 〕( ◢ ∩∩ ◣

[Look if you want! 〕 ◥≥ .≤◤

)))))) ●╮◤◥◤◥

……………………………………………………………………………………

______ ______

/ _//\ (((( \

| / -| -\ \ \

\(~ & gt； & lt@ \\ |

\ / 3 ) | |

/ - \_-' - __\\\

/ \ \__ _/\ \

Sex maniac! !

……………………………………………………………………………………

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ZZZZZZZZZZ

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……………………………………………………………………………………

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@ @ @ | An asshole! I'll bite you to death! !

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……………………………………………………………………………………

Hahaha!

You idiot! _'._|\/:

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\ _ _ _ _ _ _/，" _ & lt

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= uu \ _ _ _ _ _ _ `； - |

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……………………………………………………………………………………

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& lt-| O O |-& lt； & lt& lt

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……………………………………………………………………………………

┃ \ \/┃ Wanted criminal: name: ......

┃ (-●●-) ┃ Age: 100

┃┃/┃ Gender: Male characteristics: too handsome

┃ \)/┃ Cool, gentle and fashionable.

……………………………………………………………………………………

||||||||||||| Revelation of Missing Persons: Name:

| c●● ~ Age: 20, gender: male

| ♂ ▃ ~ Features: Handsome. Very handsome. Cool. Very cool. ....

|||| Shuai Shuai. Charming and symmetrical → me.

……………………………………………………………………………………

# # # # # # # Looking for you

#, ~~' ~. # # # # Name: Meimei

# # (\ ~ _ ~' ~. ~ # # # Age: 18 Gender: I am a girl.

# # #) A, ~ _ ~, ~' ~ # Features: Genius+Beauty+Cheerfulness+Love to laugh.

# # # \ _/,-~, ~'' # # # PS: Invite her to dinner if you find her!

# # # # # # # # # # # Ha. . Take care! !

……………………………………………………………………………………

↘┏━┓ ↙

(Step) →┃┃← (Ping)

\ ( →┃√┃ ← ) /

\_)↗┗━┛ ↖(_/

……………………………………………………………………………………

Toot, toot, toot. Get out of the way, my girlfriend is waiting for me. ...

╭══╮

╭╯ΘΘ║

╰⊙═⊙╯。 O о was crushed to death.

……………………………………………………………………………………

_ _ _ _ _ & amp& amp& amp& amp_) )

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()c ~ c ~ ~ @ ~ @)---& amp； & amp\ \

C & gt/\ & lt； | & amp/

\ _ O/- Wow _ ` *-'_//

，-& gt； o & lt-./ ____ _/

/ \/ \ / /\ _)_)

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……………………………………………………………………………………

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……………………………………………………………………………………

┌————————————————┐

│▉▉▉▉▉▉▉▉▉▉▉▉◣ 95% │

└————————————————┘

Love is download-> download ...

╄━→ ┏━━━━┓

╄→┃ Blue screen! ┃ whoa! Wow! !

╄━→ ┗━━━━┛

……………………………………………………………………………………

//|.|\\

//( U )\\

|||

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/````.__

\_ _., `'-._ _.- .

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/ `/ /' - ./ / \ \ - .___

\__./ / - ../``-\ '-.___`\

'-' ` - ` ` - ` \/

What are they doing?

……………………………………………………………………………………

_'._|\/:

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┏━━┓ /，" _ & lt

┃ Are you ┃'. _ _ _ _)

┃ Idiot ┃ _ _ _//

┗━━㊣uu\___`； - |

_ _ ||_\|

( )_)||_||

: _ [_ _ 1 \ 3 _) Sorry

……………………………………………………………………………………

┴oooo┬┴┬┴┬┴┬oooo┴┬┴┬┴┬

┬ (step on) ┴┬oooo┴┬┴ (1) ┬┴┬┴┬┴oooo ┴

┴ \ _) ┴ ┴ (伱) ┬ ┴ ┬ _) ┴ ┬ (feet) ┴ ┬.

┬┴┬┴┬(_/ ┬┴┬┴┬┬┴(_/┬┴┬

……………………………………………………………………………………

╔————╗—╱╲╱╲—╔————╗

People don't attack me.

I will never be a prisoner-a guest-and I will never forgive anyone.

╚————╝—╲╱╲╱—╚————╝

……………………………………………………………………………………

、 、 ╋ 、

、 __┃ __、

、``}﹊}￣`~ 、

┏————┓ ┏————┓

I'm dead. I have something to burn.

┗-╪═╪-┛ ┗-╪═╪-┛

……………………………………………………………………………………

╭———╮ —— ━— ┃━

│; _ │ ┰—┰┰——╃━╀━

╰—┰—╯ ╂ ┃┃ ╀ ╃━

┕█┙ ┸ ┚┖┚ ┚ ┖

┙┕

Play PP yo

Don't get drunk again. Yesterday, someone saw you chasing a pig with a glass and shouted, "Are you a brother?" Brother did it! ! "

I am a lonely tree, standing on the roadside for thousands of years, waiting alone, just because one day you pass me, I will fall for you, and it is in vain not to smash you.

If I leave in autumn, I will wait for you in the snow; If the world goes, I will love you in heaven; If I leave, I will let her take care of you. Really, her pig-raising skills are not bad!

I know you pay attention to hygiene. Wash your hands carefully every time you go to the toilet. Suddenly you stopped washing your hands. I'm surprised: why don't you wash your hands? You replied: "I brought paper this time! ! "

Miss you, is a very happy thing; Nice to meet you. Loving you is what I will always do; Keeping you in mind is what I have been doing; However, lying to you just happened.

Every day, I pray to the Buddha for a long-lasting blooming rose. When it reaches 999, I will give it to you together and say emotionally, "Little son, I don't believe that the attracted bees won't sting you!" " ! "

It is reported that a few days ago, Iraqi armed forces hung your jade photo on the wall of Baghdad, causing a large number of American soldiers to vomit and die. After investigation and evidence collection by the United Nations, it is confirmed that this is a weapon of mass destruction, so run quickly.

Couples in western countries always divorce because their lover is a baby. Look at the old man under the moon in China. They are experienced, so China's marriage lasts longer. When carrot saw the customer, he respectfully handed in his business card. The customer looked at the business card and asked, why is it called Korean ginseng? Carrots have a thin waist. "People haha!"

Today, when you wake up, there is a mosquito lying beside your pillow, and there is a suicide note beside you: I struggled all night, and your thick skin made me live in this world! Lord, forgive him! I killed myself.

Someone saw you today, and you are still so charming, walking slowly in a plaid vest, looking detached and comfortable. It is really cute. I wonder how you beat rabbits in those years.

One year, a man wrote more than 800 love letters to his girlfriend, and her girlfriend finally announced that she was getting married. The groom is the postman who delivered these letters to her.

On the bus, a standing pregnant woman said to the man sitting next to her, don't you know I'm pregnant? See that person says nervously only: "the child is not mine!" ! "

You heartless man, to be honest, who was the woman who answered the phone in your room last night? She told me that the number you dialed is busy, please redial later.

Go home: fill your stomach. Hand in the tickets. Kiss your wife. Children in Doby; Go out: Look in the mirror. Dating a woman. Use your head! Pretend to be a grandson.

One day, a drunk took a taxi home, reached out and stopped a 1 10 patrol car, shouting, "Even if it's a kilometer, it's not necessary to write that big!" ! ! ! "

( ! ) ordinary ass (_ _! _ _) Fat ass (! ) Tight ass (_). _) Flat ass (_ * _) Inflammatory ass

The sun is pregnant, play a song. Hee hee ... (the disaster caused by the moon)! The tiger held the tortoise down and said, sample! I didn't know you were wearing a vest? Seeing the turtle the next day, the tiger smiled: hey hey! How's it going? Did I break your shell?

Cucumber was lovelorn and cried, and eggplant comforted her: love is not just sweet. Just drunk and heartbroken. And tears. Alas! Who made you fall in love with onions?

The teacher said: I want class flowers for two people. So I took a class flower, took a class and chose two most beautiful girls. The teacher said, "Go to the Academic Affairs Office to move flowers! ! "

Mosquitoes fly to the sleeping baby's ass, and dad drives them away and paints them with toilet water. The baby woke up and shouted, "Mom, the mosquito just peed on my ass!" " ! "

The boss pointed to the beautiful yellow bird in the cage and said, this bird is honest and doesn't fly around. The guest bought it at a high price and opened the cage door: fly, home. Yellow bird laughs: fooled! I'm ... a chicken!

A man wanted to jump off a building, and his wife shouted, honey, take it easy, we still have a long way to go! Hearing this, the man swooped down. The policeman said, "You really shouldn't threaten him like this! ! "

I lost the battle between glutinous rice and steamed stuffed bun. I was not convinced when I met Shao Shao on the road. I saw Shao Shao immediately take off his coat and said angrily, "In fact, I am undercover! ! "

You are the rose in my heart, but thank you; You are the moon in the sky, but you are covered by clouds; You are Chang 'e, but your face landed first.

Grandma and granddaughter are in the consulting room. The doctor said to the beautiful girl, untie your clothes. No, doctor, the old lady said, I am a patient. Is it? Then stick out your tongue.

People get married because they lack judgment; People also divorce because of lack of endurance; People remarry because of lack of memory.

Your face is more beautiful than Chen Shimei, and your eyes are brighter than Zhuge Liang; My love is deeper than Lu's, my affection is longer, but my promise is more empty than the Monkey King's.

An old lady loved playing mahjong before her death. After her death, her children offered to send mahjong to be buried with her, but a woman was very worried: "What should we do if she is short of hands?" ! "

When the street beauty beckons, the street lamp should also look; The beautiful woman in the street waved and all the tall buildings wanted to kiss. The street beauty waved her hand three times, and the earth braked back.

A couple gave birth to eight children, followed by osmanthus. Camellia, plum blossom, chrysanthemum and yellow flower. Grass flower. Wild flowers, the last one is called no money to spend.

Flower world, flower heart, flower people deceive others, swear not to give up until you reach your goal, give up men completely, and want to be sad no more!

You rushed into a unit and shouted, is this the Animal Protection Association? Staff: "Yes, who bullied you? ! "

There is a boy in the class who is a famous sissy. Once the art teacher asked him to be a clay figurine, and he shouted: I want to be a man! The deskmate picked up a sentence: "Alas, you finally figured it out!"