Classic Humorous Blessing SMS

1, benefactor, the color of the underwear you are wearing today is ominous, which is not good for your behavior. I hope to take it off immediately and throw it in the toilet to ensure safety. It's kindness, it's kindness.

2. I have walked a lot; Passing through many bridges; Drink a variety of wines; I have seen many kinds of flowers; I only harassed a person who was reading a text message.

Flip a coin and ask God if I love you. If it is positive, it means I love you. If it is negative, then, then will God be wrong?

Think of your smile when I get up, smell your smell when I wash my face, and you are my need before going to bed. I really can't leave you, dear-the toilet!

Dear users, hello, your mobile phone will stop at zero tomorrow! If you want to ask why, with your IQ, it is difficult for us to explain it to you clearly!

6. You make clothes out of white clouds, borrow the right wing of a bird, fly to me like an arrow, and tell me-this is what a bird looks like!

7. Dear users, due to too many short messages on your mobile phone, the server system crashed, so you were suspended from using the short message function for several hours.

8. Actually. You are a "prosperous wealth" in folklore, and the real meaning of your name is "Wang". Wang. Lucky! "Ha ha. Good dog!

9. Don't move. Robbery! Hands up. Men stand on the left and women stand on the right! Stand among the perverts! I am talking about you! Look at the phone!

10, I can't help loving you, because I can't sleep all night because of you, and you will always make me move. I just want to tell you that I love you-football!

1 1, Jade Emperor: Now the case of Erlang God's roaring dog QQ Chang 'e Jade Rabbit is in court, and the defendant is called! Hey! Whistling dog! Call you! Still reading text messages!

12, there is a tacit understanding called tacit understanding, a feeling called wonderful, and a happiness called having your company, even idiots will finish reading it.

13. The director of the toilet factory educates the workers who want to change careers: We should carry forward the spirit of the toilet, and although we swallow excrement every day, we still have no regrets.

14, all your mistakes are my fault. The fault is that I didn't appear in your life earlier. I love you and understand you! I will make it up to you!

15, you are handsome, you are handsome, you are so handsome! You have a cabbage on your head and a kelp around your waist. You think you are Dong Fangbubai, but in fact you are the second generation failed god.

16, two breasts have been in love for 30 years and are ready to get married. When going to the navel marriage registration office, the staff refused to give it, saying that close relatives were not allowed to get married.

17, if the biggest egg before 2 1 century is a dinosaur egg, then the biggest egg after 2 1 century belongs to that idiot who is reading a mobile phone message!

18, wife: You used to send me roses. Why don't you send me some now? Husband: Have you ever seen a fisherman feed him bait after catching a fish?

19. Wave when you feel happy, stamp your feet when you feel happy, and shake your head when you feel happy. Happy new year, crazy!

After all, I can't outrun that BMW, so I can only watch it go away in the sunset. It's not that my engine is broken, but that my chain has fallen off.

2 1, I miss you so much, I can't cover Yao Ming when I play ball, I can't keep up with Lenin, and my heart stops without contacting you.

22. I have known you for so long, and you have always cared about me. I really don't know how to repay you. I will be a cow and a horse in my next life, and I will definitely pull weeds for you to eat!

23. Donor: The underwear you are wearing today is full of sinister colors, which is not good for your behavior. I hope you can take it off immediately and throw it in the toilet to ensure safety. Good, good.

24. Mountains and rivers can separate people, but you can't separate your heart, no matter where you go. My heart will always be with you.

25, chicken calls eggs, duck calls duck eggs, explosion calls * *, and news is asshole. If you are angry, you are a fool. If you laugh again, you are a big fool!

26. Do you want to speak standard Mandarin? Please change the word "chaos" to "green" in public places every day and read it aloud a hundred times.

27. I send you a gift with the heaviest amount of feces since there was feces. You will eat a catty and be full. If you feel that the amount of feces is not enough, please help yourself.

I can give up the whole world, but I don't want to lose your news. I will love you stupidly, whether it is fair or not!

29. I can't promise to love you forever, but I can promise to love you to the last breath. I will let you touch this true love.

30. I shot the arrow of love into your heart. You became my prisoner. I've decided to sentence you to life imprisonment and keep you in my heart forever. No bail allowed.

3 1, you are a bit like the moon in the sky and a twinkling star. It's a pity that I'm not a poet, or you'll write 10 thousand poems to describe your beauty.

32. Hello, hello, you have antelope horns on your head, chicken feathers on your body and bags under your eyes on your face. You said you couldn't judge a book by its cover, but I ran away as soon as I saw you!

33. When Bajie applied, the boss asked if you had a job title. Pig proudly said: the messenger of the altar! Boss: A person who cleans up phlegm and feces? Oh, then clean the toilet!

34. My love fell into your sea, splashing a blue moonlight. My heart is slowly rippling with the waves in the moon. This ripple rises for you.

35. If you spend too much time online, please pay attention to eye hygiene. Do as I say: Please turn your head 360 degrees, bite your ears with your teeth and aim your eyes 20 times.

36. Study hard and make progress every day. Don't date anyone for three years. The key is how ugly you are, but you have no other advantages except ugliness!

37. Congratulations, your wish of "all fences are thrown down, feed is falling from the sky, butchers all over the world are dead, and people all over the world believe in * *" has come true!

38. Others have a big bunch of roses, but I am shy. I have a cactus. I hold it and summon up courage to say three words to you: "sit on it!"

39, love you is like this, ok? Give me a reason why I can not love you, but you don't seem to have it. It seems impossible for me not to love you!

40. Dear customer, the system failed due to rainy days. In order not to affect your normal communication, please put your mobile phone into the water! Thank you for your cooperation!

4 1, close your eyes and give you a faint blessing. May it bring you health, good luck and happiness every second. I hope you have a wonderful place!

42. Call your mobile phone, and the prompt is: user goes to the toilet, please dial later. Dial again, prompt tone: the user fell into the toilet. Are you okay?

43. The persistent pursuit of love is a kind of infatuation, the dream of money is a kind of financial infatuation, the pursuit of women is a kind of infatuation, and the indifference to this message is an idiot!

44. When you step into the society, it's time to collect your character. Don't tell everyone. What you said was from the heart, and what they heard was a joke.

45. Under the starry sky and clouds, I was moved by the boundless loneliness. Maybe a meteor can understand. I expect your heart will bring a wisp of fragrance in snowy days.

46. There's something I've always wanted to tell you, but every time my heart beats so hard, I'm embarrassed to say it: in fact, you look so cute, just like a little white pig!

47. I don't want to hit you either. Go to the zoo to see if there is a job suitable for you. Running around the street like this is easy to get hit.

48, sitting under a hat, wearing shoes on his head, chewing socks in his mouth, holding a mobile phone in his hand, staring at a pair of beads, trying to have fun.

49. Send you a wishing tree: full of pistachios, sweet melons, lucky plums, warm plums, happy peaches and rich dates, reflecting your smooth luck in a year!

50. You can be a gifted scholar and a beautiful woman, you can be knowledgeable, you can be eloquent, and you can be a breeze. Hey, hey, I want to see how you can play without my sieve.

5 1, Tintin, your friend ordered delicious food. Please go to the nearest bathroom to pull the toilet, do you hear? Is it nice? thank you

52. Your gentleness makes me intoxicated; I admire your kindness; Thinking about your income, I am infatuated; I recoiled when I remembered your appearance.

53. congratulations We finally found you with an annual salary of one million in the talent market. Please give your luggage and belongings to the doorman on duty after work.

54. You should still be asleep by now. If I accidentally disturb you, I want to say sincerely: I'm sorry, I did it on purpose.

55. Inform the leader to come down for inspection tomorrow. All colleagues please dress as required, men's suits, ties, shorts and slippers; Women's swimsuits, pants, shoes!

The mouse asked the cat: Do you love me or not? The cat replied, of course I love you. So I hugged the mouse and whispered: I will starve to death if I don't love you.

Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was an idiot. He is so stupid that when people ask him questions, he only answers "No". Have you heard this story?

58. I don't like beautiful but illusory rainbows; I like you, you are so real, you are like a jumping stream, clear and bright, clear and bottomless.

59. The toothbrush asked what the pig whip was for. The pig whip said that every day the piston moves, one in and one out. Toothbrush: Me too. We are in the same trade.

60. The way you smile is the most touching. Two thin lips are smiling, long eyes are smiling, and the two dimples on your cheek are also smiling.

6 1, I drink, you can get drunk, I'll find a lady and you pay. Heartache when you are stupid, and guilt when you are not in this world. If we meet in the next life, may I be with you forever.

Holding you is a kind of happiness, kissing you is a kind of intoxication, and loving you is a kind of unforgettable, so I will exchange my life for this feeling!

63. Hello, when you received this message, your mobile phone was infected with a virus. For specific reasons and cleaning methods, please close it quickly for ten times before consulting 1860.

I will never forget what you looked like that day. Snowflakes fall from your head, reflecting your charming face ... hey! Do you have too much dandruff?

65. Woman: "Look down. Look at that. Do you see it? Lower it. Further down. Lower it. Lower it. Is it big? Help me get this earwax out!

66. Apple said: I am like a human heart. Mango said: I am like a human stomach. Grape said: I am like a human eye. Banana said: Nima, I hate this game!

67. Do you know? I think about you day and night. I want to sleep while eating, I want to work, I want to. I really want to say to you: pay back the money quickly!

68. The kangaroo said to the monkey: I can put my mobile phone in my bag, and you can only hang it on the * *. The monkey replied: actually, I am used to hanging around my neck!

69. You look embarrassed, your figure embarrassed, your IQ is an asshole, you talk big all day, and you call yourself a world-class handsome guy. I admit that you are a bitch!

70. Mobile phone self-check warning: mobile phone has virus. Please delete all phone numbers and text messages in your mobile phone within a few seconds, or your sim card will burn your mobile phone.

7 1, I really don't understand why you try to stand in the bright place every night. Later I learned that you wanted to see pigs that night!

72. Xiaoming came home from school and said happily to his father that the teacher praised me today! Praise you for what? Dad asked. The teacher praised my handwriting!

73. If you want to be blessed, keep reading. First of all, good luck. Good luck in your career again. Finally, I wish you more and more flexibility to press the hoof of your mobile phone.

74, ah! Your skin is so shiny and your fragrance is so irresistible. Let me bite you hard, dear ... Braised pork.

I accidentally sent you "I love you" by mistake. If you accept it, keep it. If you don't accept it, send these three words back to me.

76. Priest: Which one of you happened to have a birthday today? Tom raised his hand happily. Priest: Good. Please blow out these candles after the service!

77. You look like a warrior, and your suit and tie look like a jazz. After listening to your elegant speech, you can tell that you are a doctor, and after careful inquiry, you will know that you are a hippie.

78. God sees that you don't have a lovely friend. He created me. However, he also found that there is no idiot in the world, but an idiot created you.

I love you as much as tea and water. Tea is lonely without water. Butter and flour, too. You have to work together to make a sweet cake!

Wife: You used to send me roses. Why don't you send me some now? The husband replied, have you ever seen a fisherman feed him bait after catching a fish?

8 1, warning! Your mobile phone is about to be detonated due to hacking into the signal system. Please remove the battery of your mobile phone immediately and throw it five meters away. Stop!

82. You are the ugly duckling in my pond, the silly crow in my old tree, and the truth when I am drunk. Oh, what are you laughing at?

83. Missing you is a common thing, missing you is a daily thing, dreaming about you is a nightly thing, loving you is a lifelong thing, and cheating you is just one thing.

84. You are cool. You drink water in the reservoir, sleep in the tomb, have a waterfall in your mouth, and your limbs are like sleepers. You think you are The Story Of Diu Sim Lu Bu, but you are actually from the Antarctic.

85. The so-called "idiot" is a person who knows nothing about what you are familiar with, and you know nothing about what he knows. Do you know this sentence?

86. Sending you a flower means I miss you. Sending you two flowers means I miss you very much. Flowers are sent to you from all over the mountains, and the bumblebee is still running.

87. I miss you. Every night, for you, I will accumulate a meteor and finally gather into this meteor shower ... I can't believe I can't kill you!

88. Go to sleep, go to sleep, tonight my little wish will fly to your window and gently overlap with your dream. Let's fall in love in our dreams.

89, * * is my practice, Bush is my habit, Spider-Man is my disguise, and the aircraft carrier is my welding! I am not a cow. I learned it by reading short messages.

90. You are my heart, you are my liver, you are three quarters of my life, you are like a mountain in my heart, and your illness is none of my business.

9 1, I used to press it foolishly, so I must find someone more stupid than myself to post it! Be obedient! Send it quickly.

92. Invite me to dinner. If you refuse, I'll write your phone number on the wall, and add a few words in front of it: we specialize in gas stoves and are on call!

93, pay attention! A pinhole camera was installed in your bedroom a month ago. Check the other side of the bed carefully. VCD will be delivered to you in three days. Please check it!

94. Your Excellency: Poor economy, inconsistent personality, colorful hobbies and messy life beliefs are all inseparable.

95. Don't be surprised if the goat pulls the cart and the rabbit cultivates the land. Don't be surprised if the cat treats you and the mouse goes to eat; Because this is a message for the puppy.

96. Do you know Song Ci? Please read this poem out loud for five times: the black trace of spring scares the moth to run, the black eyebrows pose, such as gauze hanging, and the black songs and dances.

97. Your smooth skin, rough figure and broad mind can contain everything about me. I really can't live without you-my toilet.

98. You are so handsome and cool that you can't compare with it. You always think you are Dong Fangbubai, but in fact you are a second-generation fool!

99. Open a bottle of beer to relieve anxiety, make a cup of tea to relieve stress, and send a blessing to my dear friend. I wish you a happy life!

100, I like you very much! So I really want to hit on you! But there was no chance until. Until the water boils. Chezai brand oolong tea bag, I like it.

10 1. Don't you see any difference? Take a closer look! Yes! Your dandruff is all over the screen!

102, send you a gift with the heaviest amount of feces since there was feces. You will eat a catty and be full. If you feel that the amount of feces is not enough, please help yourself!

103, Dear customer, Hello: Due to rainy days, the system failed. In order not to affect your normal communication, please put your mobile phone into the water! Thank you for your cooperation!

104, you have the face of an angel, the figure of a devil, and even the posture of farting is so beautiful. But in public, can you control the rhythm?

105, I was dumped by my girlfriend, and the way of breaking up was very euphemistic. My circle of friends sent a wedding photo ~ Needless to say, it was really nice, mm-hmm ~ It's time to find a boyfriend.

106, for the Putonghua test, please shout out the following poem: Dark is green, dark is bamboo, dark is through Chun Lv, dark is through Chun Zhu, and doers are dark and sand-fixing.

107, honey, I'm so sorry. Since we kissed romantically last night, you licked half of the bean sprouts in my mouth. I remember to brush my teeth after dinner!

108, life has been much longer and people have gained weight. After they passed, Gan Kun was dressed in flesh, with heaven above him and thick soil as evidence. I am willing to exchange 20 Jin of meat for the fine weather in China this year!

109, you can better reflect people's shortcomings than a mirror, and you are more knowledgeable than Zhuangzi and grandson, so people affectionately call you the grandson of Jingzhuang.

1 10, good-looking people will be inexplicably attached with many attributes, such as intelligence, kindness, loveliness and gentleness. Ugly people have one word: practical.

1 1 1, you are funny, you are funny, you are so funny; People are thinner than cucumbers and have no meat; The skin is thicker than the wall, and bullets cannot penetrate; Learn to somersault and fall into the pit.

1 12, pig bajie burst into tears. Wukong asked what was going on. Bajie: I fell in love with a girl the other day, and I saw her at the meat case in the vegetable market today.

1 13, it's really tiring to live. You should walk on your legs, grin, drink water with thirst, pay bribes if you want to get rich, be one year older if you want to celebrate the New Year, and flatter yourself by texting.

1 14, if you mess with me again, I will block you economically, isolate you mentally, torture you mentally, destroy you physically and abandon you in life.

1 15, everyone says you have a good memory, but I don't believe it! I won't believe it unless you can recite it backwards! -Sidong, it's not me!

1 16, my wife's steamed rice is burnt. My son looked at the rice in the bowl and said, my mother's cooking has improved and she can cook braised rice! My wife has a black line on her face.

1 17. Your mobile phone is attached to your body; My message is attached to my mobile phone. I really want to break through this screen and let me hold you. I only love you!

1 18. Yesterday, I was late and you followed others. I am sad. Today, I specially waited for your appearance early, my favorite-braised pork.

1 19, are you in a meeting? Yeah, it's not convenient to talk, is it? Ah, then I said, listen, okay, I miss you. Oh, do you miss me? You were really bad yesterday. Hello.

120, this short message has two main purposes: one is to exercise fingering; The second is to contact feelings. Now I solemnly tell you, beauty, it's time to invite me to dinner!