100,000 funny jokes for couples

One Hundred Thousand Cold Jokes for Couples

One Hundred Thousand Cold Jokes for Couples: A: I find that my wife is getting worse and worse towards me. ?B:?In what aspects?A:?Recently, when she tied my tie, it became tighter every time. ?More exciting jokes are in the joke column, welcome to enjoy!

One hundred thousand humorous jokes for couples (1)

1. Dinner with a couple in the evening. The woman was pregnant. As she spoke, she glanced at her pot-bellied husband bitterly, touched her belly and said, "My child, you really should let your father carry you. Your mother's belly is just an affordable housing. Your father That's a big apartment!

The husband patted his trembling belly and smiled bitterly: "That's the construction area. The oil stall is too big, and the living area is not much." ?

2. My husband drank too much and vomited when he came back and rushed to the toilet.

I asked distressedly: "What's wrong?"

My husband said shamelessly and seriously: "Maybe she is pregnant." ?

3. A certain special forces company commander has excellent climbing skills, but he is strict with his wife.

One day, my wife came to the team and stayed at the company headquarters. Because of trivial matters, my wife got angry. The company commander said: "If you scold me again, I will jump off the building!"

Wife: "Then you jump!"

The company commander opened the window and flew out. Jump off the third floor.

The wife shouted: "No!"

Going to the window, she saw that the company commander had landed and was unharmed.

The wife went downstairs, pointed at her nose and cursed again: "What a great special forces company commander?! Wasn't he forced to jump off the building by his wife?!" A couple's funny jokes (2)

1. Wife: My dear, don’t go to the platform to see me off. I’m afraid you’ll be sad and have to spend one yuan on the platform ticket. ?

Husband: ?It doesn’t matter, I can send you away for just one dollar, it’s quite worth it!?

2. My husband and his wife were shopping, and suddenly my wife said: ?Just now A beautiful woman glanced at you one more time. ?

The husband said: ?She is not in love with me, right?

The wife said: ?You are so sentimental! Most likely, people think you are like the last time you cleaned the range cigarette in her house. Machine. ?

3. Someone wrote on the stone wall of the scenic spot: "I had a great time visiting this place with my wife, so I left this message as a memory." ?

A few days later, there was another line of words next to it: ?I was more happy when I came here without my wife, so I leave this note as a memory. ?

4. A: There are only two people in my family, my wife and I. We vote at any time, and the result is always a tie. But starting recently, I always failed when it came to voting. ?

B: ? Why?

A: ? He is pregnant, which counts as two votes. ?

5. The marriage certificate is only useful in divorce. Let’s burn it. We won’t need it in the future. A match burned the marriage certificate.

Later, they were taken away by anti-pornography agents in the hotel. 100,000 humorous jokes for couples (3)

1. The husband asked: What should I do if I have an affair?

The wife smiled sweetly: I am very gentle, and I will cripple you at most. I won’t kill you!

The husband said movedly: You are so kind!

The wife smiled and said: We can’t be husband and wife, but we can still be sisters!

2. When the husband came home from get off work, there was a bright red on his forehead. When the wife saw Dafa, she said: Why is there lipstick!?

Husband: It’s not lipstick, it’s blood. Something happened while driving home and my forehead hit the steering wheel. ?

The wife smiled and said: "You are lucky." ?

3. The wife wants to use shackles to repair her husband, so she asks her husband to go out and borrow them.

My husband muttered as he walked. Wife: What are you muttering about?

Husband: I said we should have one of our own torture instruments. ;