Powerful funny text messages

Powerful funny messages, speaking of funny messages, I believe many people have received a lot! Funny short messages can make people laugh involuntarily after reading them, and can also make people feel bad and happy. Below I have compiled a powerful funny message for everyone!

Powerful funny short message 1 1, blowing assembly number at work, friends bless to report. Happy bullets swept densely, and happy atoms were alive and kicking. Auspicious three treasures come to the door to find, and Ruyi helps count the money. Happiness building has a solid foundation, and the health express will never break down!

2. I am very tired when I go to work on Monday, and the mentality that Ah Q faces; Do not ask for a step-by-step promotion, only ask for wages in place; Learn to steal time from work and take a nap; Make eyes at each other between colleagues, don't misunderstand;

Do your best in everything, you won't; Sending greeting messages is to relieve your fatigue; As long as the salary arrives, shout long live the RMB.

3. Wise eyes swept away troubles and haze. The pressure of work needs a rest assistant. Please clear up your irritability immediately. Sincere friendship sends greetings. May you keep a good mood at work and never give up happiness!

4, rub your eyes, get up early, and squeeze after washing the car; Look at the sky, look at the ground, and go to work alone; Bitter in my heart, painful in my heart, who knows who asks; Good friends, true friendship, send text messages to greet you; Smile and be happy. Good luck and good fortune.

5. On the first day of returning to work, the holiday has passed; Never stay in bed again, get up early and go to work; Remember to eat breakfast and be safe on the road; Adjust the state and continue to make big money; The workplace is free and the work is not difficult. I hope you will be promoted step by step!

6. In middle school, a classmate moved and invited everyone to his house for dinner ... lots and lots of dishes. At the dinner table, his mother stood up and said politely, "You must eat and drink enough. You're welcome. You can't waste it. Now you have moved to a new house. There are no pigs at home anyway. It's a shame to dump them.

7. On the first day of work after the holiday, you should adjust your biological clock, ensure a good sleep, eliminate your fear of going to work, come to work happily, work wholeheartedly, and your colleagues and leaders applaud. Good luck in your work and make a lot of money!

8.h Jun and his friends entered an upscale shopping mall. I took two steps after I entered the store. My friend was surprised to see him skating on the smooth marble floor.

Asked him, H Jun pointed to the sign next to him while continuing to slide, and said very seriously, "Since I am here, I must abide by the rules here." The sign says, "Slide carefully".

9. A leader went to the countryside for a census and asked an old farmer: Do you know why close relatives can't get married? The old farmer replied with a simple and honest smile: Hehehe, Hehehe, the relationship is too familiar, and there is no way to start.

10, a sculpture was completed in the new building of a university: a young girl held a book in her left hand and a dove symbolizing peace arrival in her right hand. Outside the school, students were publicly named, and as a result, many people's slogans coincided-reading is the best use!

1 1. In a literature exam, there was such a question: noun explanation: Shakespeare (the respectful name of Shakespeare) was answered by a classmate: Shakespeare, a strange bird.

12, when I was in primary school, there was a text called Waterfall. In the middle, it is said that the author turned a mountain and saw a waterfall hanging in it. When one of my female classmates was reading aloud, she also said with emotion: I was shocked when I climbed over this mountain. There was a rag hanging on the mountain. The whole class was stunned.

13, there is a tap leakage in the toilet, and a piece of paper was originally posted: "Live, no touching!" I tried it with a pencil and charged it. I went back to the office and printed one: "Can I pee here? I can! " Screams began to be heard in the afternoon and remained the same the next day.

14. Surgeons and physicians take the elevator, and the elevator is closed. The surgeon put his head between the two doors instead of grasping them with his hands. "Don't you ever think that holding your head in the door is a strange way to stop the elevator?" "Not surprising. My hand will stay for surgery. "

15, "Why do patients leave the hospital one after another? Is there any secret recipe? " "yes! Inflation! "

16. The doctor drew a window on the wall and said, "Whoever can go out through this window, I will let him out." Psychopaths are scrambling. But one patient didn't move, and the doctor said, "Why don't you go over?" The patient whispered, "I'm afraid this is the sixth floor!" " "

17, the repairman was called to the doctor's house to repair the TV set. He found that his TV set had been used for ten years and was worn out. The doctor said in a humorous tone, "Please write a prescription." The repairman watched TV silently for a while, and then replied, "I think I can only write the autopsy report."

18, "Doctor, is there any way to cure white hair?" "The cure for white hair is complete baldness."

19, A: The doctor said that I had only six months to live, so I said that I was going not to pay the medical expenses. How did the doctor react? A: He said to let me live for another three months.

20. Woman: Doctor, my weight has exceeded 90 kilograms. What should I do? Doctor: This is a very simple head movement, from left to right, and then from right to left. W: How many times a day? Doctor: Not necessarily. As long as someone invites you to dinner, you have to do this exercise until that person leaves.

2 1, "Please open your mouth." "Thank you, doctor!" "Why thank me?" "Because my husband always tells me to shut up!"

22. The patient has insomnia again. "Do you really imagine that you are somewhere in the south, by the sea, and the sea is pounding the coast one after another?" "Yes, to the letter." "Well, then why can't you sleep?" "Because those beautiful women who wear bikinis on the shore! ! "

23. "You are weak, eat more iron." Old woman: "I have no teeth. I can't eat anything a little harder." I can't accept your suggestion. "

Patient: Doctor, my wife is spying on me and my secretary for no reason, which makes me very uneasy. Psychologist: What does your wife do? Patient: She was my secretary before I got married.

25. "Seeing your brave performance today, we all agree that you have recovered and can be discharged from the hospital. Congratulations! ! "The psycho said," I'm really not sick! " ! Because I later hung the man I saved in the bathtub with a rope and let him hang in the clothes drying yard in the backyard! "

26. A doctor wants to check whether his little patient knows the names of his body parts. He pointed to the little guy's ear and asked, "Is this your nose?" I saw the little guy immediately turn to his mother and said, "I think we need to find another doctor."

27. When the devil is patting the glass in front of your window, the toad is crawling into your bed, the poisonous snake is rippling above your head, and the earthworm is crawling under your toes. Don't be afraid, I'm chasing snails to save you. Hurry! Drive! Frame!

28, the child is simple ... When I was in junior high school, a boy wanted to copy a girl's homework. I was afraid that people would disagree. After she left the classroom, she turned over her schoolbag and turned out a sanitary napkin. He was surprised and said, "Wow! What a big band-aid! "

29. I told my mother that I like you and I want you to come to my house and stay with me day and night. You know, through these days of communication, I found that I can't live without you! But my mother won't let her say that pigs are not allowed at home.

30. Do you believe in fate? You are so special in the vast sea of people, let my eyes stubbornly follow you, maybe my heart can really connect, you really come to me! -Go away! Beggar, I just gave you fifty cents!

3 1, I'm a bean. I fell down. I'm discouraged and depressed. What can encourage me to stand up? The answer is you! Because there is something called "pig encourages beans"

32. Let me tell you a story. It's about: a man suddenly fell asleep with a hairpin in his hand. The name of this story is "It's terrible to be uneducated".

33. I heard that you took out the garbage in the morning and accidentally fell into the garbage pit and couldn't get up. Just then, a tattered old man came over, stretched out his hand and pulled you up, saying, what rubbish are the city people! Such a tasteful woman also throws it!

I admit I can't catch up with you, there are so many people chasing you! Well, I'm definitely hopeless. Some things can't be forced. Forget it, give the opportunity to others. Whoever catches up with you will kill the people anyway. You still run, dead mouse.

Are you busy? Nothing, just want to tell you that I miss you in a way that doesn't bother you! I hope that when you receive this message, you will smile at your mouth, arch your nose and hum twice to let other pigs know that your master likes you best!

36. Have you eaten? Please receive the short message. The elephant put shit in the middle of the road, and an ant just passed by. Looking up at the misty mountain peak, it couldn't help singing: Alasao, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau!

I haven't heard from you for a long time I wonder if you are all right now. I passed by your house the other day and went in to have a look. I saw you asleep, and I didn't have the heart to wake you up. Hey, only you have a litter of pigs!

38. If I were a fox and you were a hunter, would you chase me? If I were tea and you were boiling water, would you soak me? If I were a car and you were a driver, would you drive me? If you are money and I am a passbook, I will definitely take yours.

39. Have you ever heard of it? Looking back 500 times in previous lives, I brushed it in this life. Close friends like you and me, it seems that they didn't do anything in their last life, so they fucking turned back!

40. A child cried, and his father said, Don't cry. After a while, dad will take you to the vegetable market to watch others eat sugar.

Powerful funny SMS 2 1. One day, at a meeting in the Dragon Palace, Prime Minister Tortoise took something out of his pocket, looked at it and put it back. The dragon king asked him what he was looking at. That doesn't sound like it. Soldiers and crabs will whisper, "The old bastard got the text message again!" " "

The engine of a passenger plane caught fire and was about to crash. A male passenger grabbed a parachute and prepared to jump out of the plane. A gentleman said, hello! There are women on the plane! Male passenger: There is no time now!

3. Someone went to the laboratory, and the nurse pointed to the card in front and said: Non-undergraduate personnel are not allowed to enter. The visitor was furious and scolded, "I'll take a urine test and get a fucking bachelor's degree."

In Hong Kong, a girl passed a fortune-telling booth. The fortune teller grabbed the girl and said to him, "You have a bad omen, which will be bad for you." . The girl said, "I wish I could take it off." Say that finish turned to go. The fortune teller said to the girl, "Even if you escape, you can't escape the two big waves of life."

5. What's the name of boxing champion Ali's father? Alibaba.

6. If you receive this message, you just like me. If you delete it, you have a crush on me If you reply to the message, you just want to marry me. If you don't, you promise to marry me. If you modify it, it will be mine. If you save it, the rest of your life will be mine! It's up to you

7. I dreamed of you last night: we walked by the river and snuggled together. You looked up at my eyes and spit out three words affectionately ... woof woof woof.

Dear users, at this time, we have deducted 20 yuan from your phone bill and dedicated it to the Palestinian national liberation cause. Therefore, the Palestinian self-government has decided to give you a lofty title: Ben, in the name of all the Arab world. Shalebaki！

9. Plug in your mobile phone and send a message. Don't turn by yourself. I wish you good health. I want to add a special sentence: don't worry, be more happy, be less sad, and always smile in the new year! Let you live for thousands of years!

10, we don't accept gifts this year, but we can actually send some. Ten dollars and eight dollars, 180 thousand can get by. If you really don't need to send it, you can send a message Happy new year!

1 1, I found a strange phenomenon. People who often send me text messages, especially those who send Spring Festival greetings, have done the following things in a short time: winning the lottery, making a business, making a career, getting promoted and getting rich, getting in a good mood, having a harmonious family, being healthy, having all the best, falling in love, and the New Year is coming.

12, in fact, some things are clear to each other, but when the new year comes, I have to explain ... where is my red envelope?

13, I usually tell you not to mess around and not listen. Great, a group of people are asking around about you, and they say they will not spare you if they catch you.

One is called God of Wealth, the other is called Smooth, the other is called Happy, and the leader is called Happiness! Besides, I asked the trouble. It doesn't love you at all. It says it will never talk to you. Let me tell you not to flatter yourself. And health. Let me bring you a letter. It has a crush on you for a long time, and it will remain unchanged for life! Happy new year!

14, sisters, I wish you a happy new year. Find a boyfriend like EXCEL in the New Year-hide if you want, filter if you want, delete if you want, and one is unhappy. Hey, I'm not gonna save it.

15, the new year is coming. For the sake of the earth's environment and resources, please reduce the purchase of traditional paper greeting cards. You can write a congratulatory message in large denomination RMB with a pencil and send it to me! Thank you for your support for environmental protection! I wish you happiness!

16, Happy New Year! May your fame surpass Notre Dame, your wealth dare to be the mother of Bill Gates, your heroism surpass Saddam Hussein, and your handsome enough to catch up with Beckham. You are an international superman!

17 I use the warmth of instant-boiled mutton, the enthusiasm of boiled fish, the delicacy of boiled shrimp, the sweetness of old meat, the width of noodles and the width of bread to express my sincere wishes to you and wish you a happy new year!

18, Spring Festival is coming, send my greetings in Japanese: the pots should be washed, the bowls should be washed, and the pots and bowls should be washed! Chinese translation: Happy holidays! Happy every day! ^^

19, let my blessing cross the mountain, skim the gutter, run the traffic lights, jump the road, run the alley, flash past the old lady selling popsicles and get into your ear: Happy Spring Festival!

20. The earth is round, sugar cane is sweet, and my short message is a dime. I wish you a happy Spring Festival. This is no joke. My intention is true and forwarding is very effective. This must have been scientifically demonstrated and recommended by experts!

2 1, friendship is delicious rice, hot pot and burning spirit Erguotou. Hungry again, have a drink for the New Year!

22. Don't say I'm heartless. At least I sent a short message with a dime, which wasted the battery power and risked my life to be radiated by electromagnetic radiation, so I will give you a New Year greeting without considering the consequences! Happy new year!

23. Come to the new year with blessings. May you earn more money in the new year, and good luck will continue to be closely linked with happy events; Welcome the New Year with happiness. I wish you a prosperous spring breeze, no fatigue at work and no drunkenness in life. I sincerely wish you a happy new year and all the best!

I hope you are as happy as a teapot on the stove every day. Although your ass is burning hot, you are still whistling happily and risking happy bubbles! I wish you a happy new year and all your wishes come true! Hey!

25. I have told you more than once not to work so hard and pay attention to your health, but you always say meaningfully: What shall I eat next year if I don't roll a few dung balls in the New Year? Don't wear yourself out. I wish you a happy New Year!

26. I don't usually send text messages to people easily. The person who received my message must be someone who is in conflict with * *, or someone who loves each other. So, kowtow three times, and stand up after three hooves! The New Year in China is coming, so I wish you a happy New Year. Nothing else, just miss you. Please stand down!

27, the New Year, send you a pair of couplets! The first part: eat what you should eat, drink what you should drink, and don't take it personally. Bottom line: Take a bath and look at your watch. One second is very comfortable. Horizontal batch: Just be happy!

28. I love you more than Sima! My love for you is brighter than Zhuge! I love you more than Guan Yunchang! I don't need to say what you mean! Simple sentence: Happy New Year's Day, Happy New Year!

29, professional hunger is called weight loss, professional pinching is called massage, professional daze is called deep, professional stubbornness is called persistence, and professional persistence sends you text messages. This is called a friend! Happy new year!

30. The price of radish and cabbage has increased, but the SMS charges remain unchanged. It's the New Year, and I don't want to send you a message, which is obviously stingy. A short message can't buy half a radish, but my heart can learn from the sun and the moon!

3 1, Happy New Year to you! A worship of heaven and earth, the mysterious yellow of heaven and earth, unchanged from ancient times; Second, worship the god of wealth, strive for gold every day, and make great achievements; Worship Fuxing three times, plow Beidou, and happiness falls from the sky; Four visits to the whole family, family reunion, longevity and well-being

32. Love and hate for one year, fate; One for you and one for me. Thank you. Live a beautiful day by day, philosophy; Take two steps and nearly two steps, happy! God, earth, please wish you a happy Spring Festival and a happy family for me!

33. Send you three during the Spring Festival, with food, drink and friends; I also want to send you three noes, no illness, no pain, no trouble; Then send you three feelings, affection, love and friendship; Finally, I will give you three joys. You can play with me and everyone can play with you.

34. In the new year, we will make arrangements for your work: focus on health, insist on grasping wealth with one hand and happiness with the other, and be hard with both hands. Always be happy, exercise, be satisfied, relax and keep in touch!

When the new year comes, I invite you to have a big fruit dinner. I wish you: "Apricot" is blessed with "apple", "orange" is auspicious, "peach" is in bloom, and "plum" is in bloom twice. I wish "persimmon" success, "stone" happiness, and "pear" justice is light and profit is heavy!

36. If you are alone now, I wish you a happy New Year. If it's two people, it's also a happy new year; If it is a group, please tell me where you are.

37. Smile is fire, happiness is pot, and blessing is ribs. May the smiling fire light the pot of happiness, cook ribs with blessings, and the fragrance of blessings will float to you who will always be happy ... Happy Spring Festival.

Attention, everyone: There are many festivals in the New Year. In order to promote environmental protection, no cards, no phone calls, no text messages to save money. Please send me RMB. Happy Spring Festival.

39. The husband said to his wife: Last Valentine's Day, I sent you flowers. You said it was too wasteful and uneconomical. This Valentine's Day, shall I accompany you to the fashion shop? The wife thought she was buying clothes and nodded with a smile. Husband went on to say: Go for a walk and lose weight!

W: I promise you anything as long as you don't drink. M: ok, I won't drink it. W: Very good. What do you want to promise? Man: Let me drink, wife!