Do these three things well, and your predecessor will send you a message on his own initiative!

Why didn't your predecessor return your message? Have you done everything you think you should do or been rejected, and you will feel that you have failed to save it?

Before you say what news you want to send to save your predecessor, you should tell everyone what news not to send.

1, the first emotional message sent to the predecessor.

Generally, this kind of news can make you feel good for a while, and it is quite enjoyable after venting, but the side effect is to upgrade the difficulty of compounding.

If you are still emotional before sending a message, calm yourself down before sending a message.

It is completely normal to have emotions after breaking up, but if you don't really want to lose him, don't do anything emotional because of these emotions.

Think about what your goal is now. Do you want to get each other back?

If you don't calm down at this time and the opportunity comes, he will associate you with unhappy feelings, and it will be difficult for him to trust you again. This is called recency effect in psychology.

2. The second one is sent to the predecessor-"harassing" text messages!

From a psychological point of view, no one likes to read junk information with negative emotions. If you face a person who doesn't want to listen to each other at this time, and then he keeps sending you messages every day, I believe that even the best relationship, you will feel bored and don't want to be treated like this!

3, the third message to the predecessor-compound!

Generally, this expression is more for saving information, but it has also become particularly humble, such as "I can't live without you" and "I can't like anyone anymore".

These words are actually a step closer to reducing their own value, not to mention expecting the other party to turn back.

When you don't send it, he doesn't even recognize your value. At this time, you are lower, which will only make your predecessor feel that it is right to leave you.

So if you send these wrong messages, you will become very resistant and disgusted with you in his eyes, and finally simply ignore you and don't reply to your messages.

Too many failures also made me unable to accept or wonder why my predecessor didn't reply to my message. In the end, I was used to giving myself a so-called rational explanation:

"The other party has no feelings for me."

"He doesn't love me."

"Is it possible between us" and so on.

In fact, this is more like a kind of self-denial after being rejected many times, and then forms a self-protection mechanism, thus winning the opportunity of self-recovery.

Even if the other party doesn't reply to the message, it is entirely the personal behavior of the other party to solve the problem between you, and it has not risen to "emotional" or "emotionless".

Therefore, if you don't reply to the message, you just don't love you and there is no hope of getting back together. If you don't reply to the message, it means that the other person is still resisting you in your heart at the moment, and your intimate relationship continues.

But for us, all this may be that the subconscious mind won't reply to the message = don't care about me = I'm not important = put it down.

When we encounter such a problem, we will be afraid that the cost of trial and error will increase again. Every time I send a message, I will be cautious, afraid that I will say something wrong. It is difficult to look at the problems of both sides objectively and find the correct starting point.

Although we are the parties, many behaviors and actions of the other party always affect our mood of redemption. Without a good response, our mood will be unstable, and it will be difficult to establish an effective relationship with each other. Not returning messages is one of them.

Let's just say that getting the information back is not the decisive factor of complicated relationship. In other words, whether you can save each other is whether you can reshape yourself in the process of saving and let the other party fall in love with you again. Of course, the difficulty is definitely there. If it were easy, we wouldn't be in this situation today.

Here to share with you a case once around:

Less than two months after the breakup, this friend kept sending messages to his ex, begging for forgiveness, mailing letters to save him, and constantly establishing various topics. But as a result, the other party not only ignored him, but directly blacked him out.

Fortunately, both sides have absolute trust in their friends. Under the guidance of a friend, the friend promised not to pester him again, and the other party was pulled back from the blacklist. Although there were some replies, there was not much useful information, and it didn't get better until it was discovered by friends around me.

Remember: * * Entering a relationship with a good friend varies from person to person, and not all situations are suitable.

Combined with his emotional situation, I give him the following suggestions:

1. How to guide each other to communicate and reshape the positional relationship?

Generally speaking, the recovery process will experience these positional relationships: strangers

Maybe the other person has been eliminating negative emotions, and your wrong behavior has once again deepened the other person's negative impression of you.

Therefore, it is our first choice to determine the new post relationship at this stage.

2. How to establish a chat topic and extend the relationship?

The establishment of topicality means that the topics you talk to each other should have interest relevance. In other words, what you say is focused or related to the other party. If you make him feel that the next chat is a boring process, he won't have the desire to continue chatting with you.

The so-called interest-related topics are not entirely material topics, but are essentially behaviors that can attract each other.

It's like: you want her to reply to you more, but this is your business. Why did she argue with you on this issue? There is no relevance here, so it has no value.

3, cold reading each other's psychology, improve the ability of emotional management.

In the process of redemption, it is normal to be rejected sometimes, because in theory, as long as you don't aggravate your dislike, your goodwill will come up and the number of rejections will be less.

But after all, the number of rejections is much, and it's okay to endure it, but it will still affect your mood.

So when you can't judge the meaning of the other party clearly, cold reading is a good way. Effective cold reading can not only open the topic well, but also help to establish a new dialogue, accurately grasp the mood of the other party and promote the warming of the relationship.

It's like the other person wants an apple, and you force the pear. You may think pears are so delicious, why don't you like them? Then this is just our own cold reading of our own hearts, not each other's.

Knot? language

Therefore, in order to increase the interaction between them, we need to use some redemption techniques.

I hope these suggestions will give you more ideas to save.