How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

What time is it now? "

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

"Is the deadline today? ! "

"I'm just 15 minutes late, and you?

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

Why are you so angry? "

"I don't want to waste my life—

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

My real life hasn't started yet. "

Does that sound familiar? The fears we describe are intertwined in the relationship between procrastinators and time. Many procrastinators live in their own time, and their view of time.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

Reading is usually out of sync with "clock time". In chapter 13, we will discuss some ways to improve your time concept. here

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

We can look at what psychological time is first, so that you can understand the relationship between yourself and time and know that it is in your life.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

What role does it play in the delay?

Objective time and subjective time

Philosophers and scientists have never agreed on the nature of time. Aristotle has a famous "falling tree problem": if there is, we can experience it. Then Einstein, who believed in the past and the present.

How come?

The movie leaves at 7 o'clock 15.

The change of subjective time

What a difference. Those subjective people

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

Unlike people who go in and out freely and smoothly between time and objective time, they have been struggling in the meantime. Some people regard clock time as nothing.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

The important thing is that it is not human. Some people are always in the chaos of time. At first, everything seemed to be going well, but suddenly they found that time was running out, and this experience would only be repeated for them. Subjective feelings about time are an indispensable part of self-identity. In fact, it has a lot to do with your cultural and family background, your biological inheritance and your personal psychology.

Everyone has a different time. In fact, your subjective feelings about time may make another person feel confused or even angry, because he also has his own unique sense of time, and

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

It may be very different from yours. A wife may ask her husband, "Why are you always on time for baseball and always late for opera?" And her husband might answer her like this: "You arrived at the theater 20 minutes before the opening, but you thought I was late, but as soon as I sat down, the curtain opened!" " "A procrastinator arrived at the post office on the evening of April 15.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

When someone asked him why he was late for mailing taxes, he said, "It's five minutes before midnight, and I'm not late!" " "

When two people with different understanding of time do it together.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

Some arrangements, things may make them angry. "When I agreed to leave at nine o'clock, I meant 10 after nine o'clock.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

After living with me for so many years before 9: 30, I think my wife can understand what I mean. "An architect said, but his wife had been ready since 8: 45 and began to look at her hands impatiently.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

However, by 9: 05, the tone she spoke to him had become angry.

It is doomed to be one thing to make a person accept your subjective time.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

What can't be done, because everyone's relationship with clock time is very different. What you can do may be to understand each other's differences in time concept and reach some kind of compromise.

Each of us has a different subjective sense of time, because there are many.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

Many factors affect our sense of time. The biological basis of the brain will affect how we perceive and process time. Scientists have

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

A "clock gene" operating at the cellular level of the whole body was discovered, which controls some daily activities of the human body, such as sleep and awakening. There are many different clock genes in the brain, one of which is the master clock gene, which coordinates them. The biological clock gene may make some people become

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

Some people who are particularly efficient at work in the morning become night owls. Usually, our brains have a good judgment of time.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

But our perception of time may also be distorted by factors such as attention, emotion, expectation and background. People with ADHD often have poor judgment on time. For them, time passes slowly, so their concept of time interval is better than that of time interval.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

Generally speaking, people who are short will have typical impatience and hope to change the rhythm faster.

Zimbardo, a famous psychologist and sociologist, made a comprehensive study of time perception.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

The results show that people perceive time with reference to different coordinates based on the past, present and future. If you are confined to one of the time coordinates, then your outlook on life will be biased and limited. People who can keep balance in three different time coordinate references are most likely to adapt to the rhythm of social development and enjoy life more fully.

Ignoring the future is an example of time perception imbalance, which will create trouble for the present. Behavioral economists and social psychologists observe a phenomenon when a thing or a goal is set in the distant future (such as saving a college education fund for children or creating a suitable pension account for themselves).

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

Households), then it will give people an unreal feeling, thus making this matter seem less important than it actually is. On the contrary, some short-term goals (such as buying a big-screen TV to watch the finals on weekends, or taking care of your own taxes on April 14) feel more clear and urgent. So, even if the existing goal (buying a TV set) has no long-term goal (to go to college or retire)

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

Saving money is so important that people tend to rush to do what is in front of them instead of doing what is important for the future. It's called

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

As a "future discount", it embodies some human nature, which is also the reason why procrastination has such a great influence on people.

In the activities of time management and time appointment, people are in time.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

Cultural differences in perception and time value can also lead to confusion and misunderstanding. Some studies show that Americans attach importance to the present, to being young, to doing the most in the least time and to acting quickly. In contrast, Asian culture

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

With a broader concept of time, they will think more about history, tradition and long-term planning. In some European countries, such as France, Spain and Italy, being late is more acceptable and usually not considered impolite, while in the United States.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

It is impolite to be late. In Middle East, African and Spanish cultures, people tend to think that time is fluid, flexible and natural. They want to participate in all kinds of activities and transactions at the same time, and they are not very particular about punctuality.

No matter what our culture does to our concept of time.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

What kind of influence, all of us should deal with the relationship between personal time and public time, so as to better communicate and interact with the world around us.

Refuse to accept the clock time and insist on obeying your own subjective time.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

Sometimes it will make you incompatible with the people around you, causing your delay and delay. Doing things in your own way according to your own schedule and feeling that you can control your time regardless of the consequences will inevitably lead to procrastination, and one of the functions of procrastination is to give you time.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

An omniscient and omnipotent illusion: you can control time, others and reality. But whether you like it or not, you can't go beyond the rules of time, you can't avoid losing and limiting, you can't resist change and death.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

It is an illusion that we all have when we are young. When we grow up, we have to deal with this problem at all stages of our lives when we meet the reality that our strength is limited.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

. If life is good to us, we will continue to get help, slowly begin to admit our limitations, and begin to understand that our human side will not devalue ourselves, nor will it make us ugly and unloved.

Evolution of sense of time

Our subjective sense of time is constantly changing and developing in our life. Let's look at these stages of development and think about how they relate to our procrastination.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

. Your current relationship with time may be closely related to the development of the early concept of time.

Baby time

For a baby, life is completely present, and time is completely subjective. No matter what time it is on the clock, "I'm hungry now" means it's time for the baby.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

It means the interval from feeling a certain need to meeting it. Babies can't stand pain for a long time, and they can't get it when they need it.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

Once satisfied, they will fall into despair: their lives are at stake.

If you encounter fear and anxiety in your later life, a person who treats it as a baby will regard such fear and anxiety as unbearable and endless, rather than coming soon.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

The mood of going quickly. Procrastination can help people escape unbearable sadness and pain, such as: being ashamed that they are not good at something, feeling stupid, being strongly disappointed by the failure of the first attempt, and working alone in front of the computer. Go to see the electricity

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

Track it. Play computer card games! Have a refrigerator! Send a message to a friend! Listen to some music! Although procrastination will lead to bad consequences, at such a moment, you can never imagine such consequences, just like a hungry child in the middle of the night, never thinking of breakfast the next day. What he needs is to solve his hunger at once.

childhood

In the toddler stage, children gradually learn what is past, present and future. Although they are hungry now, they will have something good to eat in a few minutes. Although toddlers basically live in subjective time, they are gradually adapting to their parents' time. Parents may ask their children to cooperate immediately-"Don't play with toys now, come here at once!" "Or through some reminders such as" Game time is over ",they will gradually come out of the state of no time. Parents will constantly ask their children to do something, in early childhood.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

Children will immediately understand that by refusing to cooperate, they can show their will and strength.

A child may regard the clock as an enemy who wants to control him, or as a reliable and safe partner. Because in the parent-child relationship, parents' view of time is always exerting influence, so

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

In fact, it is not time itself that makes their attitude towards time, but the quality of parent-child relationship itself has an impact on children's attitude towards time. Later, when our procrastination turned into a battle against time, what we actually fought was not time, but those who wanted to control us. The struggle against objective time may actually reflect the inner resistance to parents' time.

Children time

When children are about 7 years old, they begin to know how to tell time. They realize that the relationship between the numbers on the clock represents a time interval. They are also more closely connected with the outside world.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

Rules conflict with expectations. The teacher has a schedule and the homework is due. Parents want their children to tidy up their rooms and help with some housework before going out to play with their partners.

For those who have long been sensitive to power and control issues.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

For children with feelings, time can be an oppressor (when you have to follow someone else's itinerary) or a liberator (when you follow your own itinerary). Some children, especially those with ADHD and related problems.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

Children with a bad sense of biological time will face great obstacles when the external environment changes and they need to switch between subjective time and objective time. Later in life, they may find that their experience of time is not smooth, and procrastination reflects this fragmented sense of time.

teen

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

The beginning of adolescence marks a great change in one's concept of time. They saw conclusive evidence of the passage of time. A grown-up teenager is obviously different from a child's body and is irreversible. These changes in adolescence erased childhood; Sensitive body and passionate ideal occupy.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

Everything; The future presents a grand scene in front of them, making them feel that life is infinite. However, with the choice of study, work and interpersonal relationship approaching, all these deadlines and choices that must be made have shattered the future in front of reality.

In the process of teenagers' growth, some people will face many inner conflicts. They may refuse to admit that they may need to give up some life paths forever and use procrastination as their refuge from growth. They stubbornly cling to the feeling of infinite time and infinite possibilities when they were young, and refuse to leave.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

The life path that can make them grow up, once they finish their studies, find a job, stand firm and establish an independent life. In a sense, they want to deny the passage of time and try to stay in their eternal childhood.

Youth time

Mid-late twenties, although time has passed.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

Extending into the future, it feels rich, but now it has become more realistic. They will realize that they may not have enough time to finish everything and some opportunities may be missed. At this stage, in order to test their time.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

We can look at the role of procrastination in their lives. Procrastination is no longer a joke between friends, nor is it something you can make up for later. Its consequences are getting more and more serious: the duration of work is closely related to your career and income. If a long-term intimate relationship is established, procrastination will also affect others.

When you are single, you have to pay the price of procrastination for yourself. Once you have a partner, the other party will be directly affected by your procrastination, which will easily lead to quarrels between the two sides. If you are a parent, you will be thrown from the younger generation to the older generation from the day the child is born. From there

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

From then on, "future" is defined by the concept of the next generation, and from then on, your procrastination can affect the whole.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

Family.

middle age

30 years old is a major watershed. After 30, you are no longer a young man with many future dreams; I look forward to your showing your potential! After 30

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

In middle-aged life, when you procrastinate in your career or feelings, it may indicate that there is something wrong with your career or feelings. Procrastinators find it difficult to accept the limitations of life, and they are shocked when they find that the goal they always thought they would achieve one day has not been achieved by middle age. Some procrastinators have been struggling with depression in middle age, because everything has been settled by then. For example, they will not have children, their cancer will not be cured, they will not be able to start a company worth hundreds of millions of dollars, and they will never have a chance to win the Pulitzer Prize for Books.

If we hadn't met earlier

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

Speaking of death, sometimes when people reach middle age, we will suddenly face the fact that people are bound to die. On the rational level, we all know that life will come to an end, but procrastinators live in infinite illusions about life at the same time-infinite time, infinite possibilities, infinite achievements, and there is always more time to make up for those things that have been postponed. Realizing the limitation of time is a psychological problem for middle-aged people.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

A major challenge is: What have I accomplished with my time? How much time do I have left? How do I want to spend this time? Look back and accept the life you choose; Look to the future and see clearly the limitations and possibilities of life-this is a very difficult thing to do.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

No wonder people have a midlife crisis.

old age

As we get older, we can't deny that time is running out. From adulthood to old age, we are surrounded by more and more losses and deaths: some physical functions.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

Loss; The condition is getting worse and worse; The loved one passed away; The time to live is getting shorter and shorter. The future is no longer as full of hope and prospects as it was in the early years. Clock time may no longer be important, but subjective time is more important.

For a procrastinator who struggles with the finiteness of life, accepting the inevitable end of life is a challenge with important psychological significance. At this moment, he no longer denies the consequences of his life being delayed. The money you haven't saved is still empty, and you want to transform the house.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

The child has never been transformed. There will be no more postgraduate courses, and there will be no more "tomorrow" or "one day in the future".

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

Maybe you finally accept what you have done and what you will never do again. Looking back, you have your anxiety and problems; The environment remained the same, and you did what you could in that situation. Accepting the past may bring you inner peace, and not accepting it will only bring despair or self-condemnation. You may even feel a sense of relief and freedom, because you finally know that you don't need to pursue the impossible.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

Target. This is certainly a good thing.

Trapped in another time zone

With their unique relationship with time, drag

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

Procrastinators' perception of time is often inconsistent with their life stages. For example, many adult procrastinators still stay in adolescence, and teenagers are indifferent to the passage of time. As adults, they are stuck in the concept of time of teenagers, because they are incompatible with the adult world and fall into many problems such as work, family, health and finance.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

Some people are not allowed to think about the future. Have you ever thought that you would live at your present age? If you never think that you will live forever, or you never think that you will get old, then you will not prepare for your future, and you will not make decisions about things that provide you with opportunities or security. Many procrastinators deliberately ignore the possible consequences of their present procrastination in the future, but there will always be a moment when the procrastination moment becomes the past and the unexpected future becomes the present.

Procrastination almost always tries to catch us at some stage of life. Putting off making a decision about whether to have children in your twenties is not the same as putting off making such a decision when you are close to 40. Always procrastinating to study different medical insurance and endowment insurance clauses may have little impact on you in your thirties, but it will have a great impact on you in your fifties. When you are with your people.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

When life stages don't match, your procrastination will drag you into a big trouble.

Lost time

Not limited by time.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

The consequences of subjective feelings are both positive and negative. Haishe is a 32-year-old single woman who likes the feeling of living in the present. When she was surfing the Internet, she felt as if she had crossed the boundary of time and reached a territory that was not limited by time.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

She can stay away from the demands and expectations imposed on her by work, family and culture, and she feels that this is a freedom that really makes her feel comfortable.

However, Haishe's feeling of unlimited time also extends to her daily life, which makes her ignore the long-term goal-how long and hard it will take her to succeed.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

A strong candidate for graduate school? Or, how can she develop a long-term relationship in order to prepare for the family she wants? As a newcomer, her salary is so low that she can pay for a mobile phone or laptop without a credit card.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

sorry She has seen her friends make progress in their respective careers, but she hasn't even decided what career to pursue. Living in the "present" that is not limited by time makes Haishe feel free and independent, but it can't make her life really move towards the future.

You may have noticed that the feeling of infinite time often happens when you are in deep pleasure or having the most fun, and the creative moment seems to be about to happen.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

Outside of time. When you are deeply immersed in what you are doing, you don't know whether a few minutes or hours have passed. Being depressed for an hour, a day or a week can make you look brand-new and creative.

But if, like Haishe, lost time becomes your way of life, it may have serious consequences. You can't tell the difference between finite and infinite, which will make you lose your sense of direction fundamentally. Just like the case of Haishe, for her, time is infinite, eternity will lead to stillness, and people seem to be stuck in life and unable to move. You don't even notice how much time has passed under the appearance that everything is the same. Although the feeling of infinite time at this moment is comforting and safe, procrastinators will inevitably pay for it in the future, and one day they will suddenly be surprised to find that life has passed mercilessly.

Time fracture

The feeling of infinite time makes us feel better about the past.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

The connection between the present and the future has lost its ability to distinguish. Procrastinators try to believe in a future that has nothing to do with the past. you can

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

I don't want to identify the "you" who delayed last time, that is, the "you" who has a project to finish within a certain time this time. You may want to forget the fear, anxiety and pressure of the last time, and expect that this time you will reach the other side in a boat with ability and inspiration.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

The expectation of a new you may be tempting, but it may also be problematic. If you don't accept the past, the present and the future, you will lose yourself.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

My sense of continuity. If you live in separate moments and your time can't form a coherent whole, then such moments have no real meaning to you.

To change this situation, you have to answer first.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

The experiences that make up your life. Then, you must accept that it is the original you who are responsible for making changes. Strangely, when you accept the original you and start from where you really stand, you are more likely to achieve a brand-new yourself.

Good old days

Josh has been immersed in his past success. He used to

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

Jing is a talented athlete, very successful and popular. As a college basketball star, he wanted to play all the way to the NBA, but a knee injury ended his basketball career. Josh doesn't know what to do after that. He started.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

A software company sells. He is friendly and popular there, but he always misses the deadline. He often procrastinates habitually

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

I have never heard my name reverberate in the whole gymnasium because of some special meaning. "

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

Josh's self-image was locked in the past, when he was a star. But whether he likes it or not, reality has been forcing him. He was 38 when his wife was pregnant.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

Later, his father had a heart attack and died within a year. Next to his father's tombstone, Josh was surprised to find himself pulling a toddler, who has reached middle age.

We can see that living in the past.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

Maybe it will bring you some psychological comfort. In the overwhelming and suffocating reality, it provides you with a safe harbor. The glorious memories of the past or the fantasy of future success are the buffer and comfort to deal with the painful real life.

It's not just young people living in

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

Past: People of any age may deliberately avoid the next stage of life. Middle-aged people may postpone going to the hospital for physical examination because they don't want to face the reality that their biological function is declining. When you reach middle age, you may expect your body to be the same as it was in your twenties. You don't want to accept the fact that even if you are still active and healthy, physical changes are inevitable. Many people in their fifties

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

Putting off considering their retirement and refusing to make corresponding arrangements for their financial security, they act as if they will work in this place forever, and they will maintain the same energy for the rest of their lives. Procrastination allows you to avoid facing some time-related facts in advance: time is passing; The future is coming; You are old; What you can accomplish in life.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

Love is always limited; One of the cruelest facts is that you will die in the end.

Is the past all over?

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

When you reflect on your unique subjective feelings about time, it may be helpful to consider the interaction between the past, the present and the future, because they are constantly interacting. Although we habitually think that the past, the present and the future happen in turn within a linear time frame, things are not that simple. Everything we experience happens in the present.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

When you think about the past, you think about the present, so your present state will affect your memory of the past. When you look to the future, this outlook also happens in the present. Therefore, the past, the present and the future are inseparable and intertwined all the time.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

In the present, you are the product of the past. Margaret. Margaret Atwood wrote in her novel The Blind Assassin: "In the old society, old wounds were like sludge in a pond, which settled at the bottom layer by layer." No matter what floats on the water, the silt at the bottom of the pool will always have various effects on them.

How can I have a boy? Can you have a boy if you eat potatoes often?

Influence. Similarly, our past is inseparable from us. It is active in our minds, bodies and emotions. People may want to reinvent themselves and connect themselves with the past.