Wang Liqiang slogan

The sorrow of the growth of the owner of Crying in the Drizzle, Sun Guanglin

Through the analysis of Sun Guanglin's living environment and inner feelings during his growth, we can see that the lonely and desolate living environment made his growth full of sadness. Sun Guanglin's biological father is a rogue. He is lonely and can't get warm. What he felt from social reality was the law of the jungle, indifference and impermanence of fate; Because of the pallor of adolescent enlightenment, he had to endure physical agitation and anxiety, which were the factors that led to his growth sadness. The serious lack of love, the unprecedented decline of ethical system and the complete bankruptcy of moral control pushed him into the abyss of fear and despair. He is unable to grasp himself, nor can he grasp it, but he must grasp it. He has no ability to protect himself, and he can't get the strength to protect himself from family and friendship. Therefore, he can only go to loneliness in repeated tremors, and fall into deeper tremors in loneliness. Sun Guanglin's experience represents a certain disordered and crazy state of China society in a specific era. People walk in the corner of reality in the most primitive way, and injury and being hurt become the most dynamic components in daily life. Young teenagers, young hearts are forced to bear the repeated blows of realistic storms and are helpless, which arouses people's reflection and rescue of spiritual suffering.

Keywords: sadness, loneliness, anxiety, fear and trembling

Shouting in the drizzle is Yu Hua's first novel and a typical initiation novel. It takes the growth experience of Sun Guanglin, a teenager in the south of the Yangtze River as the main narrative line, and shows the loneliness, confusion, pain and helplessness of people born in China in the 1960s, and the years exude a touch of sadness in their persistence. The indifference and hypocrisy of the adult world in the eyes of simple and confused teenagers has formed an insurmountable obstacle between teenagers and adults, which has grown into the first scar of teenagers, formed the fear of teenagers and destroyed their beautiful outlook on life. The teenagers gave a cry of despair in the drizzle, but no one paid attention to it. Maybe they just don't have the ability to listen.

As the narrator and returner of the story, the owner, Gongsun Guanglin, recorded more fate with his eyes because of his unique experience, which led to his sensitivity and confusion. He has been adopted for five years, which gives him more life experiences. All kinds of experiences, whether directly related to him or not, are fear and helplessness. Loneliness and loneliness were the same theme before he went to Beijing to go to college. Through Sun Guanglin's growing experience, we can always feel the faint bitterness and sadness floating behind the story. Facing the helplessness of reality and fate, we can't get rid of the anxiety and anxiety of real suffering.

One of the sorrows: my biological father is a rogue, lonely and eager for warmth.

Birth and father can't be chosen. Sun Guanglin's father is just an out-and-out hooligan-after grandpa lost his physical strength, his father abused him; The mother lived with the widow when she was alive; Rape a daughter-in-law A rogue father not only makes Sun Guanglin live without self-esteem, but also is the initiator of his bitter growth process. For example, my brother Sun Guangping cut his head with a sickle, and he went to the field to tell his father. Before his father came home, his brother Sun Guangping cut a hole in his brother Sun Guangming's face with a sickle, which caused Sun Guanglin to cut his brother and his brother taught him the illusion. So Sun Guanglin was beaten by his father, and the children in the village watched. Father's indifference makes his brother's human nature evil, and it also casts a shadow on Sun Guanglin's understanding of life, which is the root of his frequent fear and trembling.

At the age of 6, Sun Guanglin was adopted as an adopted son by Wang Liqiang, a cadre of the county armed forces department. When the strange Wang Liqiang came to the south gate in military uniform to take him away, he showed blind optimism in the impulse to escape. Because no one told him that he had to face a brand-new family and a brand-new environment; No one told him how he would choose his future enlightenment and growth. "Like a seedling abandoned at will, it can only rely on itself to find weak water and nutrients and survive alone and tenaciously" (1). What he left in the whole life enlightenment memory was pain, helplessness and fear. On the road of suffering, he bears the pallor and desolation of the most bitter human enlightenment in the whole rural social ethics.

With the suicide of his stepfather and the departure of his stepmother, he once again fell into the fate of being abandoned, and the teenager of 12 years old returned to the south gate of his hometown again in despair. When he returned to the south gate, he was caught in a fire at home. His father decided that he had brought disaster, and since then he has been alienated, leaving him in a difficult situation at home. His brother was bullied by his father. Lonely, he wanted to gain more sense of security through free violence, but it aggravated the gap between him and reality and was excluded from the whole family. The result of this mental injury is trembling with fear, extreme sensitivity and introverted personality.

From the south gate to Sun Dang, and from Sun Dang to the south gate, this short cycle became Sun Guanglin's charity. With his father's indifference and hatred, Sun Guanglin felt that he had inadvertently imposed cruel punishment on himself. His hatred for his father and family deepened, and fleeing became his goal. The family is a shelter from the wind, and the pillar of the family-the father should be the initial enlightener and educator. The essence of life is a positive, lively and upward force, and everyone can realize himself in some way. However, in front of the rogue father, Sun Guanglin is not even as good as an object, always arousing his father's disgust. All his desires can't be released, and he is suppressed, bound and destroyed by various things, so that he becomes withered and depressed. So a call-respect for life is coming out, and the eyes of Sun Guangming, a vulgar brother, with the sun before his death are a symbol. People are immortal and the birth of life is an extraordinary event. Life goes out of order, maybe there is no answer, and some are just arousing. I believe that people born in that era will feel the same way, but to different degrees.

Fathers with family rights bring more and more mental injuries, and loneliness is the inevitable trend of sensitive teenagers. Born in 1959, Sun Guanglin was lonely before he became an adult. He even regarded the pond as his only companion. So he sat by the pond alone: one laughed, one cried, one watched the argument, one watched the things at home being moved, one watched his own image in the water-his thin chin and tired eyes ... drifted away from everyone, and he became a complete bystander and outsider. Even at his brother's funeral, he has been standing in the distance, afraid to attend because of inner obstacles. Long-term loneliness and being left out in the cold made him no longer seem to exist as a person in the village. With his own eyes, he found himself completely forgotten. It can be said that loneliness is Sun Guanglin's life state before adulthood and the bitter fruit of his indifferent living environment.

Because of loneliness, he is full of longing for warmth, but warmth is a castle in the air for him, and he can only trudge on the desperate wasteland as an outsider. It should be said that before he was six years old, he and his parents were still very friendly. After returning to his hometown from Sun Dang, he became very helpless. The neighbor's doctor took his two sons riding a bicycle, and he envied them no matter whether the children shouted or rang the doorbell. In anticipation, the warmth he understood came in a special way: after he had a fever, the doctor put his palm on his forehead, but what he experienced was a kind and touching touch. After his illness improved, there was a child's attachment to adults hidden in his heart. Always stay on the way home from work, watching the doctor coming from a distance, imagining the kind words the doctor said to him, and expecting the doctor to touch his forehead with his broad palm again. However, the doctor never paid attention to him. The doctor hurried by, occasionally looking at him like a stranger. Sun Guanglin's longing for warmth failed, and it was only after adoption that he was moved again.

Stepmother Li Xiuying tested him with 50 cents. He took the test and gave the money to his stepmother. She praised Sun Guanglin in a touching tone. As you can imagine, this is just a few words of affirmation or praise, but for Lin, Sun Guanglin was so excited that she almost cried. This trust became the source of his self-confidence after he was later hit.

Wang Liqiang, the rogue's biological father, also gave him warmth: his stepfather beat him and carried him to dinner. Then, we saw Sun Guanglin's body swaying gently on his stepfather's back, and his strong self-esteem in the morning was replaced by an attachment. When he leaned his face on his stepfather's shoulder, he felt the excitement of being protected. He lived with Sun Guanglin for five years, loved him like his biological father, beat and scolded his stepfather, and was more like a father than his biological father. Because of this, Wang Liqiang's death constituted Sun Guanglin's long-lasting sorrow-from then on, fatherly love ceased to exist.

Born in 1959, Sun Guanglin was lonely before he became an adult. The pond became his only companion. Sun Guanglin longs for warmth, but he doesn't know what warmth is. He thinks that those "points" that are touched are warmth. A glimpse of warmth just shows that it is extremely rare and precious, but the warmth of a little tungsten wire can't compete with the indifferent reality.

Through Sun Guanglin's recollection and talk, based on a feeling and understanding of life, he integrated history and reality, spirit and existence, human nature examination and warmth search, and turned the questioning of the essence of human existence into a cry of despair. Simple and sincere care and love between people will make the wandering soul find a home.

Sadness 2: Endure physical restlessness and anxiety.

Sun Guanglin became a middle school student. A teenager in a turbulent period of adolescence is inevitably full of expectations for love. With the natural growth of the body and the crazy torture of desire instinct, the normal physiological enlightenment presents a blank. "So, the instinctive expansion of desire and the so-called norms began to confront each other in the heart." In this kind of confrontation, on the one hand, Sun Guanglin has to endure the fear of masturbation, on the other hand, sweet fantasies about women are constantly emerging. Self-expression, and constantly trying to tease the opposite sex. This kind of behavior not only brought him a "trembling" instinctive catharsis, but also brought him inexplicable fear, and he fell into a physiological and extremely terrible state of tension. The comfort at night is always short, followed by panic, confusion and pain, and the growth of the body is always carried out in pallor. Sun Guanglin secretly loves female classmate Cao Li: Her face is incomparable beauty, her smile makes me feel so sweet, and her voice excites me. She became my imaginary partner in the dark. No one explained this phenomenon and psychology to him, and no one gave him guidance and help, so he felt that this was a crime he committed in the dark, and Cao Li, who was "hurt" by himself during the day, became afraid. You can imagine Sun Guanglin's predicament, worrying that others will find out what they have done, forming mental allergies, affecting his self-confidence and almost losing his friendship. When he knew that the black-haired boy was Cao Li's favorite, he felt sorry for himself and thought that Cao Li had shattered his beautiful yearning.

Because there is no suitable way to understand all this, the mystery prompted him to see the color pictures of the opposite sex nude at his friend Su Yu's house, which made him fall from illusory beauty to actual nudity. Not only that, when Su Yu was sent to reeducation through labor for "molesting" a young woman, his heart was filled with hatred and he felt that everything around him had become so evil and angry. Cao Li's love for mature men made her fall into the arms of a music teacher. After the incident was exposed, the music teacher was sent to prison, and it took five years to regain his freedom and was sent to a rural middle school. The elegant music teacher used to be Sun Guanglin's idol. Later, when Sun Guanglin saw the music teacher again, aging replaced the once charming music teacher, and his gray hair fluttered wildly in the cold wind.

This is a budding period. In the era without physical education class, they were unprepared for adolescence. Suddenly facing the grown-up self, I am in an anxious state because of the appearance of physical characteristics. Su Yu's instinctive turmoil and adventure in adolescence, as well as the experience of music teacher and Cao Li, show that under the special historical situation, in the serious lack of love and the unprecedented decline of ethical system, adolescence can only be manifested as confusion, anxiety and fear, and pain and sadness replace mystery, romance and reverie. Poetic years leave pallor and fear in adulthood, which is the price of the lack of civilization.

The third sorrow: the real society is full of indifference, the law of the jungle, and the fate is impermanent.

South Gate and Sun Dang are "society" in Sun Guanglin's eyes. What he felt from the reality of "society" was the law of the jungle, indifference and impermanence of fate, which led to his confusion and sadness. For example, when he returned to the South Gate, his father quarreled with the strong Wang Yuejin brothers because of the private plot, and the quarrel turned into force, and his parents were beaten in a panic. But after Sun Guangping, the deadly brother, chopped off his ass with a kitchen knife, the Wang brothers were defeated. My brother became a hero, and Sun Guanglin was regarded as the worst person in the world by the villagers and their families because he did not participate in the dispute. Ignorant Sun Guanglin may have stayed away from violence by instinct, but he was completely denied by people and became a bad person, which aggravated the gap with reality and was rejected by the whole family. The law of the jungle replaced reason and justice, distorted his judgment and deepened his pain.

Feng Yuqing, a beautiful young girl in the village, represents Sun Guanglin's vision. After being raped by Wang Yuejin, she hugged Wang Yuejin's waist in the crowd, and her eyes were full of pleading and distressed. The purpose of pleading is to let Wang Yuejin accompany her to the hospital for examination. In the face of Wang Yuejin's insults and teasing, onlookers were just curious and had no sympathy. This confrontation and indifference dealt a heavy blow to Sun Guanglin-justice could not be sympathized, supported and maintained. At the wedding, because the bride was not, Lin's heart was full of defiled happiness, but when he saw Feng's embarrassment, an indescribable sadness welled up in his heart-it could not be the same as before. Later, Sun Guanglin thought that she left to escape from the clutches and live a quiet life. However, the impermanence of fate turned Feng Yuqing, who left angrily, into a prostitute step by step, and did not change her tragic fate. In addition, after Feng Yuqing was reeducated through labor, her son Lu Lu became a tramp. Sun Guanglin saw Feng Yuqing again, and saw her face destroyed by years. She lost her youthful and passionate eyes, just like floating dark dust. Sun Guanglin's sorrow is not that Feng forgot him, but that he witnessed the beautiful withering and the cruelty of life for the first time. Since then, Sun Guanglin's memory of her has also been covered with thick dust. Perhaps it was a similar fate, perhaps driven by loneliness, or because Feng Yuqing once represented his vision, and he and Lu Lu became good friends, but the friendship ended because Sun Guanglin was forced to return to the South Gate. Beauty is being eaten away, and the cloud of destruction is oppressing Sun Guanglin's soul more and more heavily.

Even on campus, confusion and anxiety are still intertwined with him. Zhang Qinghai, a primary school teacher, is hypocritical and cold. When a slogan with words against him appeared on campus, he decided that the person who wrote the slogan was Sun Guanglin according to his arbitrary judgment, and together with Mr. Lin, he used the authority of the teacher to start mental torture on Sun Guanglin: seduce, attack, roar, strike the table, stare and shut up in a small room. Here, the teacher is not loving and wise, but hypocritical and insidious, without human feelings and sympathy, regardless of Sun Guanglin's tolerance and true feelings. Their seduction, that kind of conspiratorial praise and smile gradually made Sun Guanglin feel that admitting a mistake after doing something wrong is more valuable than doing nothing, so Sun Guanglin admitted it out of nothing with excitement and expectation. The wanton trampling on morality, fairness and justice deepened Sun Guanglin's fear and sadness. It is the teacher who turns black and white upside down. Sun Guanglin's soul went from confusion to vagrancy, and there was nowhere to go.

Domineering and carefree, the weak did not change their tragic fate in the end. Living in such a disorderly and miserable environment, Sun Guanglin seems to feel the trick of fate. The power of environment can not only improve his character, but also aggravate his fear and escape. Such a mental state made him unable to face up to himself. If we look at life with distorted eyes, we will certainly have a distorted understanding of life. Everything is inexplicable, and it was so reasonable at that time.

The ubiquitous sadness exists in towns and villages, in peasant families, intellectual families and military families. Not only Sun Guanglin, but also Sun Guangping, Sun Guangming, Su Yu, Suzhou and Hangzhou, National Day, Liu Xiaoqing and other generations are struggling to grow up in disorder. Under the special historical situation, the unprecedented lack of humanitarian care and the serious loss of social ethics and moral dignity inevitably make people become a tragic existence. For example, Su Yu, who was sentenced to reeducation through labor because of the instinctive riots and adventures in adolescence, became a prostitute, committed suicide, a down-and-out music teacher, or became an out-and-out country scoundrel like Sun, all of which are typical tragedies. This novel is more like a spiritual history of a teenager's growth. It will leave a painful memory that cannot be erased. It is an unbearable suffering of a teenager's life, and it is a kind of helpless, hopeless and persistent spiritual tremor. "There is no bright color in both material life and spiritual life, and there is no hope. Violence, intimidation and abuse are essential spiritual lubricants to maintain this family. " (3) The ubiquitous sadness was put into Sun Guanglin's young mind, showing fear and trembling.

Although Yu Hua said this is a book about memories, writing this novel is not entirely masturbation. A writer's responsibility and feelings enable him to integrate Sun Guanglin's personal growth experience into the fate of the characters in the whole era with a calm brush stroke, which makes this work have a great realm, and distinguishes Shout in the Drizzle from other initiation novels and campus novels, which has reached the significance of the times, that is, to reflect on the spiritual suffering of the past and build a rational and harmonious present and future.

The pond, which appears many times in the works, is a place to witness and resolve loneliness, bearing the sadness of Sun Guanglin. Sun Guanglin returned to his hometown as an adult, and the old pond still exists. The sudden appearance of the pond made Sun Guanglin face another emotional blow. Here, the pond suggests that he should still not forget his hometown or be grateful for it, on the grounds that his hometown gave him life; The pond reminded him not to forget the past, reminding him of the bitterness of the past. It is to remind him to change his past life, to give warmth and care to others and even children who belong to him and don't belong to him in the future, to awaken his indifferent heart and numb nerves, and to live with a new look. The era of specific material and moral scarcity has passed, but there will still be teenagers shouting in the drizzle to remind us to pay attention to and respect life.

Note: (1) Review of Yu Hua, p. 93 (Zhengzhou University Press, Hong Zhigang, 2005).

(2) with the book page 103.

(3) with the book on page 93.

References:

Modern Educational Thoughts (edited by Xing Yongfu, China Central Radio and TV University Press, May 2002)

Biography of Yu Hua (Zhengzhou University Press, Hong Zhigang, 2005)