Mom and dad are getting divorced. What should I tell the children?

The topic I want to discuss with you today is a bit sad and heavy, but it is indeed a problem that many divorced couples have to face. How to tell children's parents to prepare for divorce?

1. Don't change children's living environment.

Including residence, school, relatives and friends. Try to be consistent except for parents' divorce.

Don't hide the fact of divorce from your children.

Children today are more receptive to information than we thought. They have their own understanding of divorce through mobile phones and TV. They are more mature than we thought. It is better to confess to your children as soon as possible than to be angry at being exposed to lies.

Don't leave the decision to the children.

As adults, whether to divorce is a question that you adults should consider, and you should take full responsibility for the decision. Instead of throwing questions at children and getting them involved.

4. Don't let children feel it's their own fault.

Tell children that divorce is an adult's decision, because mom and dad feel that they are not suitable for each other and can't move on. This decision is not because the child is naughty or clever, but because mom and dad decided not to be together.

Don't slander each other in front of children.

Even if the other person is wrong, don't overemphasize it in front of the children. What is more sad for children than denying their parents? In addition, don't let your child become the emotional mouthpiece of mom and dad, and let your child feel that he has betrayed each other and suffered psychological pressure that he should not bear at this age.

6. Don't feel indebted, please deliberately.

It is instinctive for parents to want to compensate their children. But have you ever thought about the idea of child compensation? Either he accepts it frankly and thinks that "this is what it should be" and compensation becomes "doting"; Either he understands your difficulties and feels sad from the bottom of his heart, which becomes his burden.

Divorce is bound to hurt children, but what children really need is your love and companionship as always. When you really get out of the shadow of divorce, your children will be infected by you in a subtle way.

7. Tell children that parents' divorce does not affect parent-child relationship.

Don't cut off your child's contact with each other after divorce, let alone be hostile. Let the children feel that the family is still a family. Even if mom and dad don't live together, his relationship with their parents remains the same as before. Mom and dad love themselves as before. Because even if the husband and wife are not husband and wife, they are still the parents of the children and should fulfill their responsibilities and obligations to raise underage children.

8. Tell children that they can have free contact with each other.

Some children worry that going to their father is a betrayal of their mother, so they suppress themselves and cannot grow up happily. So tell the child that he has the freedom to go back and forth between the two sides and see him whenever he wants.

Instead of worrying about the impact of divorce on children, it is better to tell children that you love them by actions, and attend every important moment of children, and true love will not be absent.

After all, divorce does not mean that children cannot grow up healthily and happily. The key is whether you can teach your children respect, equality and love.