Li Weijian's "Consultation Hotline" lines?

Double: My friends all like cross talk very much.

Peng: That’s right.

Funny: Because cross talk can bring you joy.

Peng: Very happy mood.

Diao: Well, I’m very happy.

Peng: Yes.

Funny: I feel a sense of happiness after listening to it.

Peng: Yes.

Diao: Hey, talking about this happiness, I want to ask you,

Peng: What are you asking me?

Tease: Tell me, what do you think is the happiest thing?

Peng: What is the happiest thing?

Funny: Yes.

Peng Peng: Haha, count the money!

Funny: Counting money? Count money wherever you go?

Peng: How beautiful that is!

Funny: Let’s say you get off the bus.

Peng: Yeah.

Tease: Find a secluded place.

Peng: The fewer people, the better.

Funny: Take out your wallet. Wow.

Peng: Huh?

Funny: Give me a handful of money. Phew!

Peng: Count carefully.

Double: Bi ah (two words pronounced together), Bi ah, Bi ah, Bi ah, Bi ah, Bi ah, Bi ah. After counting, you put the money in your pocket, throw your wallet away, and you disappeared into the night.

Peng: Am I a thief?

Do you still feel happy?

Peng: Happiness? ! If I'm caught, I should serve a sentence.

Didn’t you say that counting money is the happiest thing?

Peng: I count my own money, not other people’s money.

Funny: My point of view is different from yours.

Peng: So what do you think is the happiest thing?

Funny: I think health is the happiest thing for people.

Peng: Oh, healthy.

Funny: This health is divided into physical health and mental health.

Peng: two aspects.

Funny: It is not easy to achieve mental health!

Peng: Really?

Funny: You should not be angry, angry, or sulky, and maintain a good attitude.

Peng: Huh?

Funny: This is easier said than done.

Peng: What’s so difficult about this?

Funny: No, I was angry about something two days ago.

Peng: What made you angry?

Funny: Because I often write, my cervical vertebra always hurts.

Peng: Oh, occupational disease.

Interesting: I want to find an expert to ask.

Peng: Let’s solve it!

Funny: Going to the hospital is too troublesome.

Peng: What should we do?

Diao: I called a consultation hotline.

Peng: Hey, this is quite convenient.

Funny: Convenient? I was delayed with the switchboard for more than two hours and nothing was resolved.

Peng: You are stupid enough. It still takes two hours to do just this little thing? In ten minutes, I can solve it.

Funny: Bragging!

Peng: We can try it!

Funny: Come on!

Peng: Why don’t you just make a phone call? What's this?

Tease: Listen (four tones), step! Listen (4) Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap!

Peng: What’s going on?

Funny: The phone call went through.

Peng: Oh, this is the sound! I thought the allegro singer was coming.

Dou: Hello, this is the consultation hotline for treating all diseases. Please dial the extension number directly. For dialing inquiries, please dial 0.

Peng Peng: Hey, that’s really clear. Dial 0.

Double: Hello, please press 1 for English service, press 2 for Japanese service, press 3 for Portuguese service, press 4 for Indian language, press 5 for Aboriginal language, and press 6 for bird language service.

Peng: Birdsong?

Funny: Please press 7 for Persian.

Peng Peng: Hey, I speak Chinese.

For Chinese service, please press 8.

Peng: If you say 8, it’s over. Press 8.

Double: Hello, this is Chinese service. Please press 1 for Shanghai dialect, 2 for Chongqing dialect, 3 for Cantonese dialect, 4 for Hunan dialect, and 5 for Tangshan dialect.

Peng: Why are there still dialects?

Funny: This is to satisfy the inquirers of people all over the country.

Peng: Oh, that’s quite thoughtful. Hey, I speak Mandarin.

Dou: Please press 8 for Mandarin.

Peng: Oh, it’s also 8.

Diao: Hello, this is Mandarin service. Please press 1 for the office, 2 for the talent center, 3 for the labor office, 4 for the administrative office, 5 for the registration office, and 6 for the car storage office.

Peng: Car storage place?

Dou: Please press 6 for the car storage, please press 6 for the car storage, please press 6 for the car storage...

Peng: Why do you just say this?

Damn: Sorry, there is a computer failure. Please dial the * key to return to the previous unit.

Peng Peng: Hey, okay! This has to go back. OK, go back, go back!

Tease: Listen, step! Listen, tap, tap, tap...!

Peng: The Allegro singer hasn’t left yet!

Dou: Hello, this is the consultation hotline for treating all diseases. Please dial the extension number directly. Please dial 0 for dialing.

Peng: Forget about checking the number, I just press 8.

Double: Hello, this is Chinese service.

Peng: I still press 8.

Diao: Hello, this is Mandarin service.

Peng: I will press 8 next.

Dear: Hello, this is the morgue.

Peng: Eh. ah? Why push the morgue?

Funny: This consultation hotline maintains long-term cooperation with the morgue.

Peng: Yes?

Dou: Please press 1 to pay your respects.

Hmm

Dou: Please press 2 to order a shroud.

Peng: This... Hope you are satisfied, thank you!