When they first met, what could solve the embarrassing joke?

1 magpie comes, and mom says it's like birds or guests; Swallows come, and mother says this is a good bird or a guest; When the crow comes, the child asks, Are you a guest? The crow cries: Yes, I am a hacker!

2 a person is always farting in the office, and my colleague can't help but say, can you keep quiet? Then I saw him sitting there shaking and asking, what for? Answer: I tuned it to vibrate!

3 Carrot respectfully handed in his business card when he met the customer. The customer looked at the business card and asked, Why are you called Korean ginseng? The carrot has a small waist. "People are haha!"

4 Maitreya said: "Laugh when you open your mouth, laugh at the past and laugh at the present, and laugh at everything;" A big belly can accommodate you, and you can tolerate the sky and the earth. " A big belly can accommodate things that are hard to accommodate in the world. Why don't we get pregnant?

5 loves emptiness and loves emptiness, wandering in the street by himself; People are empty and money is empty, and single bad karma is working; Things are empty and businesses are empty, and they go crazy when they think about it; The mobile phone is empty and has no money to charge, and life is not easy; In short, all four are empty.

Before a death row inmate went to the execution ground in p>6, the judge asked him what he wished at this time. He said: "My biggest wish at this time is to be able to wear a bulletproof vest and a helmet!"

7 There are four basic principles on the Internet: insist on asking about gender, age, marriage history and region, and you are no exception. Please answer directly!

8, he was a teacher before the Qing Dynasty, and the Beiyang Army carried a gun. Wuchang city was abandoned, and the Northern Expedition helped. Nanchang periphery was injured; Long March over the wall, stealing sheep in the anti-Japanese war behind enemy lines; Who else can be better than me?

9 It is a common thing to miss you, it is a daily thing to miss you, it is a nightly thing to dream about you, it is a lifelong thing to love you, and it is just a matter of cheating you.

1: I have a car, a house and a fixed income every month. If you are interested, please contact me immediately-Attached: Room-University dormitory for six people; Car-bicycle (absolutely environmentally friendly); Fixed income-monthly 21 yuan school subsidy.

11 The miser went out on business, fearing that others would steal the wine he just ordered, so he wrote on the paper: I spat in the cup. After a while, he came back and found a few more words on the note: I vomited, too!

12 I went to the top of Mount Tai with my friends to watch the sunrise. A friend pointed to the sky and said, "I saw it!" " "I saw it too!" At this time, someone in the distance came out with trousers and scolded: "See it when you see it!" What are you yelling about! "

in restaurant p>13, woman: are you going to marry me or not? The man is silent. Woman: Don't think that nobody wants me. If I get angry, I'll find someone to marry here right away! Waiter came over: Miss, you scared away all the guests in our shop.

From p>14: to autumn, a notice in the boys' dormitory reads: "According to the investigation, a few boys use binoculars to observe the scenery of the girls opposite, and it is forbidden from today." All beings were in a daze, but they heard a boy say, "It's autumn, and the scenery is not like midsummer."

15 An old buddy lost his car. When he put a new car downstairs, he locked three locks and put a piece of paper: Let you steal it! The next day, the car was not lost, and two more locks and a piece of paper were added, which read: Let you ride!

16 The husband said sadly: There is no perfect woman in this world. Madam: Am I not? Husband: No, you only have perfection. Madam: Why? Husband: Because you have no external beauty and internal beauty.

17 The tiger said to the chicken: You can't live without me. The chicken said: I will never understand your tenderness. The tiger killed the chicken to scare the monkey and said to the chicken, it's not that I was careless. Say to the monkey: understand my heart clearly. Chicken said: Why am I always injured?

18 "Do you know why men like to have long hair like ladies recently?" "Because, if your lover or wife finds long hair on their clothes, he will smile and say,' This is my hair!' "

19 When I was born, God promised to marry his most beautiful daughter to me. I looked around and searched up and down, waiting for 21 years, so I ran to ask God. God said, "What's your hurry? I don't even have a girlfriend. "

There are ten penguins in p>2 Zoo. You are ordered to interview what penguins do every day. The first nine say they eat fish and play with each other. In the end, I only ate fish. Why do you ask? The last one reached: my name is Bobo.

21 If you keep going to work, you are a soldier; If you dare to walk around the world, you are a warrior; If you don't reply to the text message I sent, you are a martyr; If you insist on inviting me to dinner … then you are a gentleman!

22 weather forecast: I miss you a little from tonight to tomorrow morning, and I expect to miss you continuously in the afternoon. Affected by this low mood, I will turn into a wild dream in the evening, and my mood will drop by five degrees. It is expected that this kind of weather will last until I see you.

23 A first-class man has no worries, a second-class man calls, a third-class man runs up and down, and a fourth-class man sits at home and scolds.

24 First-class beauty crossed the ocean, second-class beauty Shenzhen Zhuhai, third-class beauty stayed in Shanghai, fourth-class beauty waited in the countryside, and fifth-class beauty was sent to reform through labor!

25 Who is Qingtian's husband? -Egrets, because a line of egrets went up to the sky. Who is Qingtian's husband? -blue sea, because the blue sea is clear and the night is at heart. Has Qingtian ever been a mistress? -Yes, because of young Bao Qingtian.

26 A good man is a profound book. The more you read it, the more fascinated you become. A good woman is Wang's crystal clear spring, and the more she tastes, the more delicious she is. A man is a car, not only can he drive, but also can he repair. A woman is a cup of tea. She should not only drink it, but also taste it.

27 Freshmen on campus: students who repeat classes are called "international students", students with money at home are called "high-wealth students", and students who doze off in class are called "poor students".

28 Important news: Saddam has found it! Bush said: "Don't set fire to the oil well!" Saddam said: "I am not ordering! I am not ordering! " The result was put into Beijing Xiaotangshan Hospital!

29 You're cool, you're handsome, you're a bachelor, chasing your beautiful girls in a row, and you can choose them. You're so happy that your face is blooming and your heart is jumping, and you suddenly hear a voice in your ear, "Garbage collectors are not allowed to sleep here."

3 Marriage is called internet access, bigamy is called a card with even numbers, extramarital affairs is called call transfer, and divorce is called mobile Monternet.

31 My car has no license plate, driver's license, driving license, and no road maintenance fee ... In short, there is nothing, but I can travel around the world unimpeded. Actually, it's nothing, because it's a bike!

32 Bajie peeked at the spider essence taking a bath and wanted to see the naked body and ask the Tang Priest for help. Tang Priest shouted: Be careful! It thunders! It's raining to collect clothes! When the spider spirit ran ashore, Bajie fainted: Master, I took YOU.

In p>33, when I am going to be a great official in Israel, I must first seduce her mind, kiss her bones and muscles, kiss her body and skin, caress her body, and have sex in disorder, and then I will know that she was born in sorrow and died in happiness.

34 mobile phone rings, which means I miss you; Two, I miss you so much! Three times, I miss you very much! Four tones, I miss you very much; Five tones-demo, it's time to answer the phone!

35 One night, a naked man called a taxi, and the female driver stared at him intently. The naked man was furious and roared: You have never seen a naked man before! The female driver is also furious: I see where the fuck you pay for it!

36 A couple went to register for marriage. "Have you had a premarital examination?" "Yes, his house and car are all gone." "I mean to go to the hospital." The young woman blushed and whispered, "Yes, it's a boy."

37 One day, and 8, 6 and 9 met in the street. took a disdainful look at 8 and said: If you are fat, you will be fat. Why wear a belt! 6 without looking at 9, he said: Cool is cool, don't play handstand!

38 boyfriend and girlfriend sleep in the same room, and the woman drew a line: the one who crossed the line was an animal. Woke up and found that the man really didn't cross the line, and the woman slapped the man hard: you are not even as good as an animal!

39 A man was poor since childhood, and his mother made underwear out of rice bags and ordered him to wear them on his wedding day. The first time he took off his trousers in the bridal chamber night, his wife immediately fainted, and the front of his underwear was impressively marked: net weight is 3 kg.

4 "I heard that you had a quarrel with your wife yesterday. How did it end?" "Of course she knelt down and begged me!" "No! How did she beg you? " "She said,' I won't hit you. Come out from under the bed!'

41 A mother and a fly are having dinner. The son frowned and asked his mother, "Mom, why do we stand on the stool every day? The stool is so dirty!" Mother said, "Don't say such unsanitary things while eating!" "

42A: You didn't do well in the crematorium. How could you be fired? B: It's all my fault! A: Did you say anything? B: That time, I asked my family next to me how rare it would be!

43 everyone works and has a working meal together. One day at noon, I ate spicy tofu. The man said, "Tofu is not enough." The woman said, "Then eat my tofu!" The man said, "Your tofu is delicious!"

44 On the cliff, a little mouse waved its short front paws and jumped down again and again, trying to learn to fly. The mother bat next to it watched it fall, and said worriedly, Dad, don't tell it, it's not our own!

45 when you don't have a girlfriend-a good citizen; When you have a girlfriend-bail pending trial; When engaged-monitoring residence; After marriage-life imprisonment!

46 The wind is drizzling and the rain is fluttering, and the crescent moon is hooked. You are pushing a chariot made of ebony and your hair is flying in the drizzle. Suddenly you stop the chariot and glare at the front, and suddenly you shout loudly: collecting rags

47 Our pimple thief is rich: we eat vegetarian clothes, we don't walk in traffic and communicate on the Internet, our wife is jealous and the old man runs, and we get up in the morning to bet on collecting rent on the 3th night. Qiao Qiao revealed: build huts indiscriminately and strive to be relocated households!

In the middle of the night of p>48, Bush suddenly woke up from his dream and found bin Laden standing beside his bed with long hair: How dare you! Bin Laden shook his head: Rejoice is so confident

49 You are not young, and you should know something! Days are used for windy and rainy days; Land is used to grow flowers and grass; I am used to prove how great human beings are. What about you? It's used to stew vermicelli.

5 Seven Commandments after a meal: First, quit smoking, second, stop eating fruit immediately, third, relax your belt, under the temptation drinks tea immediately, fifth, walk at a hundred paces, sixth, take a bath immediately, and seventh, go to bed immediately! Bajie: Do you remember?

51 A crane mingled with the chickens for food. The chicken asked, Who are you? Crane said: I am a chicken. Chicken does not believe: Is there a chicken with such long claws? Crane said: Pheasant, soliciting.

52 I have three words to say to you: The first sentence is I miss you! The second sentence is I miss you! The third sentence is I still miss you! Give me a bowl of rice, I haven't eaten for three days!

53 Bird A and B made a bet that A flew down the branch to grab meat from the butcher's knife and was plucked. After being rescued by B, A tried to be brave. "Why did you save me?" I just want to fuck him naked. "

54 If we say: I can meet you after burning incense for one year, I can get to know you after burning incense for three years, and I can cherish you after burning incense for ten years, for the sake of my happiness in the next life, I would like to convert to Christianity.

55 I always miss you recently. I know this is not good, but I will regret it for the rest of my life if I don't tell you what I have in my heart. No matter what your decision is, I won't force you. If you are really in trouble, don't pay back the twenty cents!

56 An old farmer wanted to buy a mobile phone, and the salesman sold it to him: This one is good, and it is not expensive. You can download ~ ~ ~ \ "You can have a baby! I'll take it!

57 A woman complained to her husband, "You are so timid. You are not as good as others in any way." The husband said, "That's right, especially the wife!"

58 zebra's expression of love to deer was rejected. Zebra roared: Why is all this? The deer said timidly: My mother said that tattooed teenagers

59 slept in a row in class, and they were infatuated with anti-terrorism. The legend did not know how to get tired. SMS was sent to the plenary session of arrears, smoking and rubbing hemp, two bottles of white wine were not drunk, and they skipped classes in droves. Long live college life!

6 Old John asked his future son-in-law, "When you marry my daughter, if I give her a generous dowry, what will you give me?" I'll give you a receipt.

61 Pupils use "must" to make sentences: I must bring up my puppy! The teacher approved: it is ok to raise children, but not adults! !

62 When it comes to buzzwords: The worst dish is squid. The youngest grandmother, mistress. The strongest network, the network of relationships. The most difficult theft to prevent, cheating.

63 In the lecture on women's health knowledge, the teacher asked, "What should I pay special attention to after pregnancy?" A young woman stood up and replied, "Get married quickly."

64 don't look thin, I'm covered in muscles; Don't look at me black, my face shines; My head can be broken and my hairstyle can never be messed up; Blood can flow, and leather shoes can't be oiled.

65 Our village is poor! Getting rich depends on grabbing, getting married depends on thinking, transportation depends on walking, communication depends on yelling, public security depends on dogs, and heating depends on shaking!

66, I went to a restaurant that day and ordered a dish called Bosnian War and Dragon Crossing the River Soup. Come up and have a look, vomiting blood! Stir-fried black fungus with spinach and a bowl of clear soup with onion floating on it!

67 When a man trapped in the desert met God and granted him two wishes, he said that he would drink water every day and see a woman's ass, and boom, and he turned into a toilet.

68 Piggy set up a club and said: Members should be nicknamed, call me little pig! Dog: Call me puppy! Kitten: Call me kitten! The chicken blushed and said something had to go first

69. I am a lonely tree, waiting for thousands of years, just because one day you fell for you when you walked by the roadside ... Even if I don't smash you, I will live in vain!

7 A man tried to chase jane doe, but jane doe refused several times. One day, a man courted again, and the woman was furious: What do you like about me? Can't I change it?

71' s family members were beaten by steamed buns, and they retaliated wildly. All the steamed buns' families were beaten up, and the fried and fried dumplings were not spared. The seller was forced into a corner and couldn't bear to tear his clothes and said, "I'm undercover!"

72 A mental patient shouted to the doctor, "I am the king, and you all have to listen to me!" " Doctor: "Who said that? ""God said! " Then another patient jumped out: "I didn't say that!" "

73 The parrot said to the flight attendant, "Go and get me a glass of water." When the pig saw it, he also said to the flight attendant, "Go and get me a glass of water." The flight attendant threw them out of the cabin in anger, and the parrot said, "You're stupid, I can fly."

74 Firefly was detained for hooliganism. Firefly refused: Who discharged? Who streaked? Who has an exhibitionist? I'm not allowed to light the toilet when it's dark?