What did my mother say in the sketch "Lazy Dating" and Song Dandan's lines?

Woman: My mother said that this person can make an introduction in the village head. My mother called me.

Welcome, welcome! Warmly welcome!

Are you trying to scare people away? Enthusiasm Our Pan Fu has done a good job these two years. How about this TV? No, no, this sofa?

Woman: Hum! The light in this room is very dim.

A: This is a black spot.

He has calculated that he will build three big tile houses for you next year.

Woman: Really?

A: Yes! There are glass windows.

B: That's right, that's right.

A: Well, I don't know.

B: Aren't there bricks?

That's a pigsty.

Woman: It's the first time to see such a sofa.

A: It's a new model. It's very popular.

W: Did you buy it in the city?

A: Well, twenty-seven cents.

B: Twenty-seven cents for a few nails. He made it himself.

Woman: Really?

A: I know carpentry.

W: What size is this TV set?

A 24 inch shoe box.

B: He said it was a shoebox TV.

W: This is the first time I've heard of it.

A: New brand.

B: I just came in. Can you stop talking? The advantage of our Comrade Pan Fu is that he is lazy ... Ah ... lazy. Do whatever he says and never be choosy.

A: This is quite suitable.

B: It fits perfectly. I thought of that, too. Here, all the advantages of Pan Fu will be overcome.

Woman: What do you say?

A: So, after you came in, you listened to you and all your problems were overcome!

Woman: That's right!

So you agreed?

B: What's the hurry? Can't you say something friendly?

Yes, you must be tired from coming all the way. Please sit down first.

Woman: I'm really tired.

A: Hey! There it is, there it is.

Woman: Hey! What rang?

A: It's ringing. ...

B: It's ringing ... He said he thought about it. He thought that after you came, he went to study science and technology. He should study hard.

W: Do you still like reading?

A: Ah! I especially like reading that picture book.

Woman: Villain?

hello ...

A: Just children.

B: He ... He likes children.

Woman: Really? I'm 29, and I like children, too.

A: Then how can you have children without getting married?

Guys ... let's put the children down first and settle the marriage first. Add some furniture when you get married.

A: Yes! Put a big combination here.

B: Yes, there is also a refrigerator, double row.

Woman: Hey! Village head! I don't expect him to have everything in this family. It is said that life is very good now. My mother said: My daughter is older and needs to go out and find a diligent person. My mother said that some people talk nonsense, gossip and complain, which is really annoying. My mother said. ...

A: Anything else?

Woman: Play a ball and sleep late. Such a man can't have it. My mother said. ...

What did your mother say?

This is fatal.

Woman: What's the matter with you?

A: I ... when I heard about the lazy man, I, I, I was so angry that I couldn't sit still.

Woman: Village head! This man has a bad temper, doesn't he?

B: He, he has a volatile temper.

Village head, please come and sit down for a while. More tired than anything.

What a nice person! This golden phoenix came to your nest.

A: It's ringing!

What's ringing?

A: Hey! It rang without sitting down?

W: I'm really sorry. My bad eyes kicked the thermos bottle to pieces.

A: What? Come on, this is the only kettle in my house ... Yes, well played. It doesn't matter. I tried to quit last night, but I never found the time. You are tired.

Woman: Really?

A: Really!

Woman: You are good at talking.

A: The main thing is that you kick louder than me. If I kicked, I wouldn't kick as loudly as you.

B: What a nice daughter-in-law! Work hard in the future!

A: Ah! Village head! I'll call wherever you point, and I'll do it well, don't worry!

Ah ... that's ... ah!

Woman: Ah! Why doesn't this TV set have an antenna?

A: It's broken!

B: it's broken!

Woman: It's broken!

A: It's broken ... This is not a TV ... This is a TV ... It's not broken. ...

B: it's not broken!

W: Why is the TV set painted black?

B: That black coat is painted with tawny glass.

Woman: Brown glass, my eyes are not good. Buy a TV and a brown glass. What should I see after entering the door?

Don't worry, that TV is made of dark brown glass, but the picture is very clear.

B: That's right! The picture is clear.

W: Really, then open it and let me have a look. Do I want to have a look? Show me!

A: just open it and you'll know. Brown glass is much clearer than ordinary images.

Woman: Really?

A: Really!

It's the midday news. ...

A: Look at the image.

According to Shandong TV station, ...

Woman: Why does this person look so familiar?

This guy ... this guy looks familiar. Isn't this Song Shixiong?

B: Now the score is ...

W: What changes have taken place in Song Shixiong?

A: Without an antenna, people are deformed.

Woman: Village head? ! Hum!

Let me tell you the truth. There is nothing in my house. Just because I was lazy before, did you change careers in the future?

Woman: Then you can change it. I will come again.

A: I'll see you off.

B: Come back! Just leave?

W: Then how can I get there?

B: It's over. It's not the curtain call yet!