Funny and humorous long jokes

Jokes are a form of artistic expression. If you read new jokes every day, you will be happy. Next are the funny and humorous jokes I have carefully prepared for you. Welcome to watch!

Funny and humorous jokes (popular articles)

1. Today’s construction industry has entered a new era. Building structures are a large family with a wide variety of structures, which can be divided into different types according to different classification standards. Structure type. According to the different classifications of the building stress system, there are the following four structures. 1. Xi Tzu: the beloved frame-cut structure. The frame-shear structure has a frame and shear wall as the stress-bearing system. It is an optimized combination in architecture that combines the advantages of frame structure and shear wall structure, and can resist both vertical loads and horizontal shearing. Just like Xi Shi can not only win the love of the king of Yue, but also be model and affectionate. It can be said that if you live in a temple, you will be favored by three thousand people, and if you are far away from the rivers and lakes, you will be favored by all kinds of favors. The full name of frame shear structure is frame shear wall structure, and there is a kind of frame limb shear wall structure in architecture, which is also called frame shear structure for short. If you are not careful, you will mistake Feng Jing for Ma Liang, and mistake Dong Shi for Xi Shi. 2. Wang Zhaojun: high-quality and low-priced brick-concrete structure. Brick-concrete structures are low-cost and high-quality products, and are the main force in today's construction industry. It is deeply rooted in the hearts of the people and very popular. Just like Zhaojun, she came from the common people, and it was said that she was of mediocre appearance only before the king of Han married her away from home. She was able to take root in a foreign place and contribute to national friendship. The hybrid structure is not very flexible, which is also Zhaojun's shortcoming. While the concubines were asking the painter to paint them more beautifully, she remained silent. Don't care about this. Third, the frame structure of Yang Guifei paying the price for perfection. Large and giant buildings are constructed with a frame structure, poured with reinforced concrete, and then partitioned with prefabricated aerated concrete, expanded perlite, pumice, ceramsite and other light plate partition walls. The cost is high, the structure is strong, and the forms are diverse. Dr. Yang Guifei is an incomparably gorgeous woman, and her enchanting and classic love story has been passed down through the ages. However, in order to fulfill her life, she ended her life by hanging herself. It's like buying a modern rayon-framed house with great pain and hesitation. Fourth, noble shear wall. If the brick-concrete interior structure is the beauty of Xiaojia, there is no doubt that the shear wall is the beauty of everyone. Compared with the frame structure, the shear wall is more noble and grand, because it has the openness of the frame and the unique convenience of decoration. Similarly, Diao Chan has the nobility of Yang Guifei, a unique chivalrous spirit, and the heroic spirit of assassinating Dong Zhuo.

2. One day, the director of the Women's Federation came to a certain village to inspect the work. The following is his speech: Hello everyone, you have done a good job. I am a big boss. How rough is your female village chief? I know, we chatted all night last night, and then she knew my strength and I knew hers

3. ●Wicked wife? Be honest, you still had three hundred and two in your pocket last night Nineteen yuan and fifty cents, why are there only seventy-eight yuan and two cents left now? ●Yan Wife? Why are you going out again tonight? You must be back before ten o'clock, otherwise you will never get in. ?●Pretending to be a generous wife? I know you have no money. My money is on the dressing table. You can take as much as you want. ? (Actually, there are only twenty or thirty yuan on the dressing table.) ● Stingy wife? What, a pound of watercress? You damn ghost, why don’t you bargain when buying vegetables? Half is enough. ?●An unreasonable wife? If you think the food I cook is not delicious, then don’t eat it. Ask the vixen in the restaurant to cook it for you! ?●A wife who is secretly hostile? I don’t blame you. If you tell the truth, I will tell you the truth. Compared with my colleague Xiaohua, who is fatter? ●The wife who is jealous of everyone? The Lao Wang next door got divorced yesterday. Do you think men become bad when they have two money? ●The wife who is very jealous? What is the name of your first love? Lan Yes, are you married? When will you ask her to have tea with you?

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4. "In an open-air bathhouse, a group of strong workers were taking a bath. A few noisy monkeys climbed up the tree next to the bathhouse to watch. One of the monkeys laughed while watching, and the more he looked, the more he laughed. It was so funny that it eventually fell off the tree and rolled on the ground. The other monkeys were surprised and helped it up and asked why it was laughing. The monkey still kept laughing and said: "Haha...hehe." ..Human beings are really strange animals, haha...Look at their tails being so short, and they are born in front...haha..."

　5. "Author: The Immortal On the same day, Song Jiang was chatting with Sun Erniang on BBS, and suddenly there was a "beep" sound, "Your friend KuiLi is on the station. Reply, OK" "That's really annoying." Song Jiang mumbled and asked Li Kui. Hello. After a while, he beeped again, "Your friend Kui Li is here?" Song Jiang responded with a few words, but unexpectedly, Li Kui kept beeping, "shit!" Song Jiang scolded him. "Can you stop talking nonsense? Who do you think you are?" Li Kui said, "Tieniu, I'm Song Jiang." "Brother Song, why is your name Xiao Tiantian?" ?""""Oh, Tieniu, what are you doing, why are you always on the station?""""Oh, my bad old man!""""Don't get on, go to Wu Yong's platform tomorrow to receive PII. ""Song Jiang thought: Someone must have told him to do something wrong.""Thank you, brother Gongming.""Brother Xiaoli, your method is really good.""That's it. What, I got that one the same way. "Brother Xiaoli, thank you very much. How about you help me copy the machine tomorrow?""""No, I want to chat with Li Meimei online tomorrow. You can ask Lin Chong to help you copy it." Well, he doesn't like surfing the Internet anyway. """"He can't. He is practicing Red Alert every day and is preparing to take revenge on Hua Rong. """"Then go to Wang Ying and ask Dai Zong for some life movies. He will definitely help. You copy it. """"Okay, let's go find Wang Ying.""""I won't give it away."" Li Kui hummed a tune and went to find Wu Yong. Bedroom) Song Jiang was chatting furiously with Sun Erniang. The bed was in a mess, with cigarette butts all over the floor. He was only wearing a pair of shorts, holding a cigarette in his mouth and typing on the keyboard. "

Funny and humorous jokes. (Classic)

1. "When I went to MM's house, MM smiled and said to me: ""Show you the place where I pee."" I probably had an expression on my face that I shouldn't have. After a while, MM pointed to the toilet and said: ""Then~~~""... I fell madly~~~~~~ went to MM's house, MM said to me with a smile :""Show me my underwear.""I bent down and lifted up my skirt, and was fucked wildly by MM. Then, MM pointed to the balcony and said: "Then~~~see if they are drying"... ........I was crazy~~~~~~I went to MM's house, MM smiled and said to me: ""You touch my bra."" I immediately reached out to touch her breasts, and MM was crazy about her. After a while, MM pointed to the balcony and said: ""Well~~~ Let's see if it's drying."..........I was so mad~~~~~~ I went to MM's house, and MM smiled at me Said: ""Let's play KISS."" I kissed her immediately and was beaten wildly by MM. Then, MM pointed to her puppy and said: ""It's called KISS, and it picked up my slippers everywhere. Teach it a lesson.........I was crazy~~~~~~At my house, MM smiled and said to me: ""Let's play"" I beat MM like crazy. Then, MM said aggrievedly: ""I just wanted to play the piggy game, IG.""..........I was crazy~~~~~~On BBS, MM smiled at me I said: ""Let's go find BT."" I was busy looking for BT, and was raped by MM. Then, MM pointed at the poster and said to me: "Damn~ you can't even see such a big BT." "..........I'm crazy~~~~~~"

2. A chicken stall in the market. Young man: ?Boss, how much is a pound of chicken? Boss: ?, not less? Young man: ?Oh, help me choose one? Boss: ?Okay, just this one,? Young man (concentrating on counting the money):? . . . .

?Boss:?Should I kill the chicken for you, or should you commit suicide?Young man (busy counting money):? . . . . Ah? Oh, I want to commit suicide! An old lady in her 70s happened to be passing by. When she heard that someone was about to commit suicide, she hurriedly took the young man’s hand and said seriously: “Young man, what’s the matter? What’s wrong with you at such a young age?” What problem are you having. . . . . . ?The young man (with a surprised look on his face): ?Me. . . I. . . . . . ?Old lady (before waiting for the young man to say it): ?Oh! I know, I must be lovelorn. Hey, it is normal to be lovelorn. There will be plenty of opportunities in the future, why insist on hanging from a tree. . . . . . ?The young man (with a rogue look on his face and an embarrassed look): ?No. . . No. . . I. . . ?Old lady (poignant and eloquent): ?I know what you think even if you don’t tell me. Your devotion to love is right, but you can’t force things on your feelings. It’s okay if you fall down once, as long as you get up. Well, your life is still very long, why choose such an extreme way. . . . . . ?The young man (unbearable): ?Mother-in-law, please stop talking, okay? I understand everything, and I will never commit suicide again. ?

3. As people get older, they tend to fart easily. It’s troublesome to fart all day long! Fortunately, there is a new middle lid. You can put one on top! It also has a fruity scent. It’s convenient!

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4. A teacher came up with a couplet: First couplet: It snows in the sky but does not rain. Snow turns to rain when it hits the ground. Why does it snow but not rain? It is better to just rain. The student got this line right: Second line: The teacher doesn’t eat shit when he eats, and the food turns into shit in his stomach; why doesn’t he eat shit when he eats? It’s better to just eat shit. The teacher evaluates the student: Nervous student evaluates the teacher: Sickness adds up to a negative comment: Nervous Sickness

5. Two dumplings got married, the bridal chamber was decorated with candles, the male dumpling saw off the guests, closed the door, and looked back. He jumped and found a meatball lying on the bed. The male dumpling asked: Where is my wife? Meatball scolded: "Idiot, you don't recognize her when she takes off her clothes."

6. Lao Wang watched the TV commercial and went to the store to buy a bicycle. But he noticed that none of the bikes in the store had headlights. Lao Wang asked: "Didn't the car in the advertisement have headlights?" The salesperson said: "There was a beautiful girl on the car in the advertisement." ?

7. A certain leader asked the new female secretary to write a report. After the female secretary wrote it, she handed it to the leader. The leader held up the official document and said: Well, the top part is okay, the middle two points are also more prominent, but there is a loophole at the bottom, we will talk about it later.

8. I am the county magistrate (sent), and I am here to make a brick truck (a truck that pulls bricks at the west end of your village). Yesterday, I spent the whole night (working) with your female owner. We found two prominent points and a loophole in her body. We must seize these two prominent points and block this loophole. The work on family planning must start from the head of the cadres.

9. Mrs. Li: Today’s young people are really inferior to each other. At the age of sixteen or seventeen, they already know how to do bad things. Mrs. Huang: Not necessarily! I think young people are becoming more disciplined with each generation. Mrs. Li: How come? Mrs. Huang: I remember, in the past, I always encountered young people following me on the street. Young people nowadays are very well-behaved and never follow me. ?

10. A dancer boasted to a lowly man: "You are not as good as me. You can't do the golden rooster independent move longer than me." ?The lower Liba replied: ?Yes, but any chicken is better than you! ?

Funny and humorous jokes (selected articles)

1. If Columbus had a wife at home , can he still discover the American continent? She will say: Where are you going? Who are you going with? What are you looking for? When will you come back? I don’t think you can get anything on this voyage!?

　2. The zookeeper said to the tourists: Don’t be afraid. This lion is very tame. It was raised with a bottle. ?Tourist:?I was also bottle-fed, but now I like to eat meat.

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3. A fashionably dressed young man went to buy candy. When he saw the colorful candies, he said happily: "Oh, damn, the candies here are covered! Hey, which kind of candy is the best?" The salesperson looked at him and said, "If you want to eat, chewing gum is the best." ?

4. The boss said to the secretary: I will take you to Beijing for a few days. You are ready to go. The secretary called her husband: I am going to Beijing with my boss for a meeting in the next few days. You can take care of yourself. The husband called his lover: My wife is going on a business trip to Beijing these days, let’s go out and play too. The lover called the little boy who was tutoring him: I don’t have to go to school these days, I have something to do. The little boy called his grandfather: Grandpa, the teacher is busy these days, so there is no need for class. You can play with me. Grandpa called his secretary: I have to play with my grandson these days and can't go to Beijing. The secretary called her husband: The boss has something urgent these days and we won’t go to Beijing for the meeting. The husband called his lover: He can’t go out to play these days, and my wife won’t go to Beijing. The lover called the little boy who was tutoring his homework: Classes will continue as normal these days. The little boy called his grandfather: Grandpa, I still have to go to class these days, and I can’t play with you anymore. Grandpa called his secretary: I will take you to Beijing for a few days. Get ready.

5. "Driver: Hello, sir, didn't you see the "No Smoking" notice?" Slogan? Passenger (cigarette in hand): I saw it, but I was confused by you. Isn’t there an advertisement for Please Wear a Mermaid Bra? Do I have to listen to it and wear it too? ?"

6. There was a taxi driving on the road leading to the Chicago airport, and there was a Japanese tourist in the car. At this time, a taxi passed by, and the Japanese shouted: Look, Toyota! Made in Japan! How fast! After a while, another taxi passed by. ?Look, Nissan! It's made in Japan! It's too fast! ?Another taxi passed by. ?Hi! It's Mitsubishi! Made in Japan! It's so fast! ?The taxi driver is 100% American. Seeing so many Japanese cars passing his own American car, coupled with the Japanese's arrogant language, he couldn't help but feel a little annoyed. As the taxi entered the airport parking lot, another taxi passed by. "It's a Honda! Made in Japan! It's so fast! It's not cured!" The taxi driver stopped the car, pointed at the meter angrily, and said: "Money." It costs money to be so close?! The meter! Made in Japan! It’s so fast! It’s not cured! ?

7. A son from a rich family went to take an exam. His father took the test beforehand and his score was very good. He was sure of it. I was admitted, but my son's name was not on the list. My father rushed to the county magistrate for comment. The county magistrate brought the scroll to check, and saw a faint layer of gray fog on it, but no words could be seen. As soon as his father came home, he scolded him: "How come your exam paper is written in such a way that no one can read it clearly?" The son cried: "No one in the examination room sharpened the ink for me, so I had to write with a pen dipped in water on the inkstone." ?

8. Once while playing mahjong on a hot day, the power suddenly went out, so I had to buy candles to continue fighting. After half an hour, the heat was unbearable. One person said: "Let's turn on the electric fan, it's too hot." Another person's interface: "Can't open it. If you open it, the candle will be blown out." ?

9. "Armstrong, the first astronaut to land on the moon, said a world-famous saying: "One small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." After he returned to land When entering the cabin, he said something incomprehensible: "Good luck to you, Mr. Gorsky." Most people at NASA thought this sentence had no profound meaning and might be referring to a certain Soviet astronaut. But check it out. There was no such person in the Soviet Union or NASA. Every year after that, many people asked Armstrong: "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky?" What does this sentence mean? In Flory, he laughed. Arriving in Tampa Bay, a reporter asked this long-standing question again, and this time Armstrong finally spoke. Mr. Gorsky passed away not long ago, and Armstrong felt that he could answer it one day when he was a child. , he and his friends were playing baseball in the yard. His friend hit the ball under the window of the neighbor Gorski's house.

When Armstrong bent down to pick up the ball, he heard the couple arguing. Mrs. Gorsky shouted: "You want to sleep with me? Don't even think about it! Unless the neighbor's kid lands on the moon!"

10 A hen laid a giant egg. Many reporters came to interview the hen. The hen was shy and silent, so he had to interview the rooster. I will not comment on this matter at the moment until I catch the ostrich. Besides! Several little boys pooled together more than ten yuan to buy toys, but they didn’t know what to buy. One of the younger ones suggested: Go buy sanitary napkins! Everyone was confused and asked why? The boy said, I Not sure, but TV said that with it, you can climb mountains, water ski, play ball, and skate, and be happy without worries. After watching many movies, I finally understand how the movie is rated: ordinary: good men get heroines. ; Tutorial level: Bad men get the heroine; Restricted level: Everyone gets the heroine. The host asked the female contestant: "What is the purpose of men using Viagra?" The female contestant blushed and thought for a long time and said: "I can't think of it." ?The host immediately said: ?Congratulations on getting the answer right! ? There was a discussion at the table: ?The answer is too insightful! ?A girl milked cows in a cattle farm for a long time and only squeezed out a little bit. The owner of the farm said to her: ?Not only did you milk Wrong place and wrong cow!