Joke Collection Website - News headlines - Help me find a cross talk word, hurry up! ! !

Help me find a cross talk word, hurry up! ! !

I'll give you a cross talk ...

A: You speak crosstalk well.

No, I'm young.

A: Young and good. Young people are eager to learn, active in thinking and dare to explore. Let's make friends.

Make friends with me?

A: (singing) "Please let me help you, just as I help myself; Please let me care about you as much as we care about ourselves, and you and I will become more friendly. "

B: That's very enthusiastic.

A: (singing) Let me help you buy coal.

B: (singing) ... My family cooks and burns gas.

A: (singing) Let me help you move the furniture.

B: (singing) I have a ready-made one at home.

A: (singing) Then I'll build you a room.

B: (singing) There is an excess of housing in my house.

A: (singing) Then I'll help you find someone.

hey ...

A: How about that?

B: (singing) I'm afraid my wife won't agree.

A: Huh? Are you married?

The children are all in the nursery.

Well, I've been working for nothing.

B: That's all right. I'm too enthusiastic about you. We are friends.

A: Good! From now on, we share weal and woe; I'll solve your difficulties, and you help me if I have difficulties. If you have money, we can spend it. I want money in the bank. You have food. let us ...

B: Wait a minute! Does it make sense? Spend mine and keep yours?

A: I'll get it when you use it.

B: Let's go our separate ways.

A: Don't worry, I always make friends with sincerity, otherwise how can I do a good job in leadership?

Are you still the leader?

A: I am a political cadre of the unit, focusing on youth work.

B: Youth's work is not easy.

A: Well, I didn't realize it before. Young people call me "bear".

What do you mean by short position?

A: They call me "bear" because I used to engage in short politics, tell short stories, shout short slogans and brush short slogans.

B: It's a satire on everyone.

A: But at that time, I kept thinking: Is it wrong to shout slogans and brush slogans?

B: The propaganda is true, but you have to combine it closely with reality.

I did.

B: How did you get together?

I have a meeting. A "production mobilization meeting" is held every three days, and a "pledging meeting" is held every five days.

B: How many meetings will there be?

A: Not much. Seven times a week at most.

Is there a meeting every day?

A: It's all about doing great things!

So many meetings, what are you talking about?

A: Of course! First of all, according to the characteristics of young people, I put forward the slogan of a month's war.

B: How did you mention it?

A: "Young comrades, the spring breeze of reform is blowing all over the earth, and everyone is working hard for the four modernizations. Our battle slogan in January is: open the door in January to spread good news. "

B: February?

A: "February and March were full of vigor and won the first season. April is full of gas, welcoming May Day. June is tight, and July 1 day is a gift. In August, high temperature led to a daily increase in output. In September, the task was heavy, and the output ended to welcome the National Day. 1 1 month〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓 12 The most important thing is to work hard, and then work hard. My waist is broken, my eyes are rotten, my head is cracked, and I am tied with hemp rope. "

B: Huh? What are you doing?

A: This is called "minor injuries can't go down the line of fire".

B: Is a broken head a minor injury?

A: Don't call it true, it's to cheer everyone up!

B: The slogan "Too much is too late" is false. In addition, you can't just shout slogans. You should be good at finding problems and solving them.

A: How do you know I haven't solved it? I found that some young people have poor labor discipline, so I immediately held a meeting to criticize this problem.

That should be criticized.

A: "Young comrades, today I want to talk about labor discipline. As is known to all, China implements the policy of opening to the outside world. At present, urban pollution is improving. Recently, the vegetable market price has been stable. We must protect the legitimate rights and interests of women and children. "

B: Where did you get so much nonsense?

A: I am trying to let everyone know the situation.

B: the situation should also be targeted.

A: "In such a good situation, some young people go to the toilet."

B: Nothing can stop you from going to the toilet!

A: Go to the toilet and read novels! And it will take more than half an hour to see it. Who do you think this deserves? Please think again, in that dark old society ... "

B: Ah, it was also a painful experience.

A: "We working class are poor peasants and middle peasants. We have nothing to eat and nothing to wear. Please don't whisper. They're dying, and it's painful ... stop knitting. Bitter than Coptis chinensis! When do they have time to squat in the toilet and read novels? Even if they have time, where can they find such a good toilet? ! "

B: Oh! What a good word.

A: "Comrades, speaking of toilets, I want to talk about it for another 20 days. Some of our young people are very careless about keeping the toilet clean. "

B: I've shifted my focus to hygiene.

A: "Our next step is to fight a people's war in which toilet paper is thrown into the basket!" "

B: Is this called war?

A: "At the same time, we should set off a new climax of spitting in the jar! And resolutely carry out the hand washing campaign before and after meals! "

B: Well, everything has become exercise.

A: "Exercise is not just a fluke. We really should take action. The league members took the initiative to vomit in the bowl, the cadres took the lead in putting toilet paper in the basket, and the young people washed their hands afterwards. And those stubborn comrades, please wake up at once, wake up, the meeting is over, don't sleep! "

Are they all asleep?

A: Strange to say, young people are usually very active, but after listening to my report, it is more accurate than taking sleeping pills in Turin!

B: You can't stand preaching.

You mean ... ...

B: We must consider the characteristics of young people.

A: What are the characteristics of youth?

B: Young people are active, good at thinking, lively and active, and have diverse hobbies, such as singing. ...

A: Yes, young people in our unit love singing. Some people whine all day, but they always sing uncle, which is meaningless. B: What does his uncle sing?

A: I learned from you: "Uncle loves to cry, uncle loves to cry …" (singing the song "Dry wine is not for sale").

B: Stop crying! That's not my uncle. He loves to cry.

Then who will cry?

B: ... nobody likes to cry.

A: Does he sing when he doesn't like crying?

B: What they sang was Unsold Dry Wine, an episode of the movie "Taking the Wrong Bus" in Taiwan Province Province.

What do you mean?

B: "Dry wine can't be sold" is a Minnan dialect, which translates as "Does anyone sell wine bottles?"

Bottle seller?

B: Now in the street: "Who sells beer bottles, tin cans and orange juice bottles?"

A: Oh, I said, why are there more and more people collecting wine bottles now? They all sing this song.

Did Hu contact?

A: I told young members not to sing the song of buying wine bottles in the future. I don't mind singing, but I can sing my own songs.

You wrote this song?

A: I made up a brave song for young people.

You sing for everyone.

A: (Singing) "Young red workers are all new, working hard for the four modernizations, working hard for one, working hard for two, and working overtime for three!"

B: Blind! This word you wrote is so beautiful.

A: I ask you to deeply understand the political significance of the lyrics. All young people must sing this song.

B: Is this compulsory? Did everyone sing?

Yes, I did, but the handwriting is not quite the same as mine.

What songs do they sing?

A: (singing) "Our boss asked Qi Xin to do addition."

B: Supplement?

Answer: "One plus one equals two, two plus one equals three, and three times six, three, six, one, eighteen."

B: Hey! And multiplication. This shows that your ideological work method of forced indoctrination has failed.

A: It doesn't matter if you fail. I summed up my experience and found a new method of ideological work.

What method?

A: OK!

A fine?

A: Yes, this is called mobilizing economic means to manage. If there is a problem, all the fines will be settled.

B: Huh? We can't replace political and ideological work with fines.

A: Very simple!

B: to save trouble?

A: I have issued dozens of tickets alone.

B: Then how did you decide?

Answer: Punishment for not taking part in voluntary labor, organizing meetings without speaking, not coming to meetings, reading newspapers and sleeping, contradicting leaders, quarreling and swearing, winking, wearing jeans, bell bottoms, bat shirts, miniskirts and a black beard.

B: Hey, is anyone wearing a mini skirt and a little black beard?

A: Women wear miniskirts and men wear little black beards.

B: Not together?

A: Do you think it looks good to have long hair and a little black beard?

B: Then you should instruct them how to distinguish beauty from ugliness. Can just paying a fine solve their ideological problems?

A: Solve what! Punishment has come and gone, the life of youth league organizations is lifeless, fewer and fewer people attend meetings, no one takes part in voluntary labor, and some young people simply ask for small business.

B: How about that? Punishment alone can't solve the problem.

A: The ideas of these young people are too problematic and hopeless. No one can blame them for being the beat generation.

Your view is too one-sided. The mainstream of modern young people is good, even if they are backward, there are still shining things waiting for you to develop and induce.

A: I didn't realize this in the past, but the other day, when I listened to the report of the fighting heroes in the border areas, I found that all these young people were moved to tears.

B: It shows that you didn't really know them in the past.

A: At that time, I thought, why were they moved to tears when they listened to the hero's report, and they all fell asleep when I reported it?

B: Well, you should find the reason from yourself.

A: At the seminar the next day, I was greatly inspired by your speeches.

B: What did everyone say?

A: "Boss, listen to how vividly the heroes speak. You compare with others. You see that the company commander is at the front, but you just shout and do nothing. " The instructor's ideological work has been at the forefront of the position, but you only know that everything depends on memorizing and reporting. The platoon leader and the soldiers are close, but you don't like the exciting punishment of young people everywhere. The squad leader and the soldiers danced and sang together in the battle, but you said that the young man danced to tease the girl. "

B: blind man, what's this called?

A: "You always feel that only you are the most revolutionary and others are shortcomings, so you can't understand us unless you are close to us."

B: That's right.

A: "You don't know the humiliation of our procrastination and the choice of the road to success; Difficulties in learning and self-study, loneliness that is difficult to achieve with lofty aspirations; After the pain of lovelorn, the joy of successful love. We are also ambitious, love the motherland more, dare to be the first, welcome reform, and are not afraid of difficulties and setbacks. I am willing to do a better job, make the enterprise full of vitality, make more contributions to the four modernizations and get more bonuses. We pursue better material enjoyment and long for a better spiritual life. I am willing to exchange my hard work for refrigerators, color TVs and motorcycles. Life is fast-paced and full of entertainment, including symphony, disco, racket, rumba and tango. We respect cows and swift horses. I am not interested in those cadres who are self-disciplined, passive, Nuo Nuo-centered, lacking in ability and boldness of vision, and I will not look down on the saying that the style of Tianqiao is not practiced. The leaders we want should be reformers who understand theory, practice, technology, management, ability, dare to explore, dare to think, dare to say, dare to fight, dare to be innovative! "

B: Good! How do you feel when you hear this?

I almost choked to death. When I got home, I lay in bed, as if fifteen mice had crushed the board-

What do you mean?

A: Seven ups and eight downs. Think about everyone's criticism of me. It seems that there are 25 mice playing monkey fist on my chest-

B: This is. ...

A: A hundred claws scratch the heart. Thirty-five mice lined up in a string—

Are there any mice in your house?

A: I'm so sad. Think of me, the head of a young man, and now I am a foot-binding cloth among young people-

How's this?

I stink all over.

B: Well, the road is getting narrower and narrower.

A: I learned from a bitter experience and made up my mind that I would never go this way again, never talk empty words, talk big and make such hypnotic reports again. I want to take a step, walk among young people and make friends with them.

B: This is the right way!

A: Just do it. I'll make the bedding overnight.

B: What's with this roll of bedding?

A: I'm going to move to the Youth Single Building for a while, so that I can get close to them and get to know them faster.

B: That's right! But did your lover agree?

Yes, she was very supportive, but she made a request to me before she left?

What are the requirements?

A: "Before you leave, you make another short report, and I'll record it with a tape recorder."

What is this for?

Answer: "I use your report to put the children to sleep!" " "