How should parents guide their children when they find their puppy love?

How should parents guide their children when they find signs of puppy love? It is better to guide and help children grow up reasonably than to explicitly stop their puppy love behavior. Here, let's take a look at the five steps for parents to correctly guide their children after discovering their puppy love!

How do parents guide their children to puppy love?

We can start with these four basic principles in dealing with puppy love: 1. Accept; 2. It should be dredged and collapsed like Dayu, not like cannon. 3. Communicate honestly and trust children. Let the child know that you love him, so you are worried about him. What should parents do when children fall in love at an early age? Let's have a look.

The correct way for parents to guide their children to puppy love.

Step one. The child admitted that he was puppy love.

Tips: If your child doesn't admit that he is in love, and you have sufficient evidence to know that he is in love, parents should never be entangled in lying. You can go directly to the third step.

For example:

Parents with a serious perfectionist tendency have always been strict with their children. The basic requirement for them since childhood is: you can not answer, I respect your privacy, but you must never lie to me. In fact, how do children "keep silent" under the pressure of their parents? He will give you an answer in the end. Parents were furious when they found out that their children were lying: how can my children lie! Has more than ten years of education failed like this? !

Therefore, parents stayed away from the topic of puppy love and pestered him to lie for months. As a result, he lied more and more, and the relationship between parents and children became more and more rigid. Then the problem became lying first. Why do children lie? The main reason why children lie is that parents are too strict and children are afraid of being punished, so they lie. Parents are very opposed to puppy love, and children are afraid of being punished, so they dare not admit the fact that they are in love. Parents always condemn their children, saying that they are worthless, but rarely reflect on their own problems. In fact, as long as they put down their dignity, the children will always be honest with you.

Step 2: praise the child first, whether it is right or wrong.

You can say, "Son (daughter), you are beginning to like girls (boys). My parents are very happy when you grow up! "

This is not to encourage children to fall in love from an early age, but to "save the country by curves." Children think their feelings are pure and beautiful, while parents usually think that their children have done something they shouldn't have done or thought about something they shouldn't have thought about, so the contradiction between parents and children arises. If parents treat their children with an accepting attitude and children feel that their feelings are accepted and appreciated by their parents, they will confide in you and you can have further communication.

After he tells the characteristics of the person he likes, you should add: "Your parents are very happy when you grow up, but we still don't know how you plan to treat this relationship?

Children always depend on their parents. As long as parents treat their children with an acceptable attitude, they will often tell their parents what they have done. For example, if a girl says a boy wants him to go, you can tell the child, "That place may not be very good, and we don't know him very well." You can also take the opportunity to tell your daughter: "Girls should learn to protect themselves, never have physical contact with boys, and never stay in a room alone with boys." You should also remind her: "son, mom (dad) is afraid that you will suffer." If a boy really loves you, he will never do anything to hurt you. If he asks too much, then he is only interested in your body, not really loving you. You must stay away from him. "You can also tell her:" Your task now is to study, just socialize at school and go home after school (the school is managed by teachers). "

Knowing that children like the opposite sex is a sign of encouragement is not uncommon in western movies, but it is very difficult for parents in China. In this regard, parents in China should learn from their western counterparts. It is not that parents should be open to wearing condoms for their children, but that parents should learn to respect human nature. Imagine if both parents objected, especially the girl's parents. If she is hurt at home, she will definitely cry to the boy for compensation. Boys will feel guilty and want to protect girls more. The result will be a war between two children and two parents. The more you forbid them, the closer their relationship will become. Therefore, if a child is puppy love, he or she must be pulled back with love. True love can be summarized by "unconditional acceptance".

Step 3: Share your love experience with your children.

Children are growing up and have feelings for the opposite sex, but they have no experience. At this time, parents should try to induce their children to talk about their emotional growth. In undemocratic families, children usually don't talk. At this time, you can tell her (him) your experience. Usually, children are interested in their parents' love experiences. Pay attention to the fact that the conversation must be suggested by friends, not forced by authority, so as to avoid children's disgust. For example, a father talks to his son and a mother talks to her daughter. It can be said that my father fell in love with a girl when he was fourteen. ....................................................................................................................................................., who knows this is sweet and painful, let children know that when they are teenagers, their affection for the opposite sex will fade with age. Those are not true love, but the psychological germination caused by the gradual maturity of adolescence, and I just like it a little. He likes it very much, but it doesn't mean the future. There will be many variables in the future. Like, only represents an identity, and he has a feeling of mutual appreciation. You can regard him as your friend.

When a child understands his parents' experience, he can regard love as a beautiful memory in life, not a lasting future. He will think that the most important thing now is study, and he will readjust his energy and time spent on study. At this time, if your child says: I know everything, but I just like him, I can't concentrate in class. What should I do?

Step 4: Guide him to communicate. There may be unexpected gains.

Children can't control their own hearts. You can ask them to tell you about their communication, ask about the time and place of communication, and ask about some communication topics and contact information. As long as you have a good parent-child relationship, he agreed. In this way, at least you can know how things are going. What's more, as you know, this time is unstoppable. Otherwise, what can we do?

The biggest negative effect of this is that his enthusiasm will gradually disappear as time goes by. Maybe there will be unexpected gains. For example, the parents' child "girlfriend" is ill in hospital. He went to the hospital to visit her. He lied the first time without telling his parents. I am in close contact with my parents' class teacher. If I had known in time, I would have told him, "Mom knows you went to the hospital to see her. After dating for so long, if you don't go to see her, your mother will still think you are heartless. You did the right thing. " Then his parents asked him about going to the hospital. As you can imagine, when a girl is in hospital, her parents must be taking care of her, so she certainly has no chance to express her concern. He said, "I went with a classmate. I stayed for over an hour without saying a word. His parents are there. " His parents are secretly happy. He seems to be worried about being scolded by his parents, so he brought a classmate. Parents paid him: "Take time to buy some nutrients and go and have a look." He went to see it for the second time and came back to report to his parents.

Parents must think clearly about this problem-if you don't let him see it, he will definitely watch it secretly and will definitely buy things with money. The money may come from borrowing money or saving food expenses. It is better to be aboveboard than to let him sneak around.

Step 5: Tell your child why.

This can only be the last step. Many parents try their best to reason with their children as soon as they come up. Don't you know that children won't listen to your hype if their emotions are not handled well? Once people fall into emotions,

I didn't hear any reason. When he gets lost, you can go after him. At this point, you can tell him the truth of starting a career before starting a family, such as "when a country is strong, other countries will take the initiative to approach you;" Men have the ability, and good girls will appreciate you "; You can also tell him to "do things in spring" and "be beautiful because of waiting" and so on; Or tell him the difference between friendship and love and so on. And remind high school children that at this time, learning is the first.

In addition, in order to keep adolescent children with excess energy away from emotional distress, we can try to shift their emotional goals. For example, if he likes playing basketball, buy it for him. When he is busy, he won't have boring dreams.

How should parents guide their children when they find signs of puppy love? It is better to guide and help children grow up reasonably than to explicitly stop their puppy love behavior. Here, let's take a look at the five steps for parents to correctly guide their children after discovering their puppy love!

How do parents guide their children to puppy love?

We can start with these four basic principles in dealing with puppy love: 1. Accept; 2, should be like Dayu water control, rather than like a cannon water control, dredge and collapse. 3. Communicate honestly and trust children. Let the child know that you love him, so you are worried about him. What should parents do when children fall in love at an early age? Let's have a look.

The correct way for parents to guide their children to puppy love.

Step one. The child admitted that he was puppy love.

Tips: If your child doesn't admit that he is in love, and you have sufficient evidence to know that he is in love, parents should never be entangled in lying. You can go directly to the third step.

For example:

Parents with a serious perfectionist tendency have always been strict with their children. The basic requirement for them since childhood is: you can not answer, I respect your privacy, but you must never lie to me. In fact, how do children "keep silent" under the pressure of their parents? He will give you an answer in the end. Parents were furious when they found out that their children were lying: how can my children lie! Has more than ten years of education failed like this? !

Therefore, parents stayed away from the topic of puppy love and pestered him to lie for months. As a result, he lied more and more, and the relationship between parents and children became more and more rigid. Then the problem became lying first. Why do children lie? The main reason why children lie is that parents are too strict and children are afraid of being punished, so they lie. Parents are very opposed to puppy love, and children are afraid of being punished, so they dare not admit the fact that they are in love. Parents always condemn their children, saying that they are worthless, but rarely reflect on their own problems. In fact, as long as they put down their dignity, the children will always be honest with you.

Step 2: praise the child first, whether it is right or wrong.

You can say, "Son (daughter), you are beginning to like girls (boys). My parents are very happy when you grow up! "

This is not to encourage children to fall in love from an early age, but to "save the country by curves." Children think their feelings are pure and beautiful, while parents usually think that children have done something they shouldn't have done or have some ideas they shouldn't have, so the contradiction between parents and children arises. If parents treat their children with an accepting attitude and children feel that their feelings are accepted and appreciated by their parents, they will confide in you and you can have further communication.

After he tells the characteristics of the person he likes, you should add: "Your parents are very happy when you grow up, but we still don't know how you plan to treat this relationship?

Children always depend on their parents. As long as parents treat their children with an acceptable attitude, they will often tell their parents what they have done. For example, if a girl says a boy wants him to go, you can tell the child, "That place may not be very good, and we don't know him very well." You can also take the opportunity to tell your daughter: "Girls should learn to protect themselves, never have physical contact with boys, and never stay in a room alone with boys." You should also remind her: "son, mom (dad) is afraid that you will suffer." If a boy really loves you, he will never do anything to hurt you. If he asks too much, then he is only interested in your body, not really loving you. You must stay away from him. "You can also tell her:" Your task now is to study, just socialize at school and go home after school (the school is managed by teachers). "

Knowing that children like the opposite sex is a sign of encouragement is not uncommon in western movies, but it is very difficult for parents in China. In this regard, parents in China should learn from their western counterparts. It is not that parents should be open to wearing condoms for their children, but that parents should learn to respect human nature. Imagine if both parents objected, especially the girl's parents. If she is hurt at home, she will definitely cry to the boy for compensation. Boys will feel guilty and want to protect girls more. The result will be a war between two children and two parents. The more you forbid them, the closer their relationship will become. Therefore, if a child is puppy love, he or she must be pulled back with love. True love can be summarized by "unconditional acceptance".

Step 3: Share your love experience with your children.

Children are growing up and have feelings for the opposite sex, but they have no experience. At this time, parents should try to induce their children to talk about their emotional growth. In undemocratic families, children usually don't talk. At this time, you can tell her (him) your experience. Usually, children are interested in their parents' love experiences. Pay attention to the fact that the conversation must be suggested by friends, not forced by authority, so as to avoid children's disgust. For example, a father talks to his son and a mother talks to her daughter. It can be said that my father fell in love with a girl when he was fourteen. ....................................................................................................................................................., who knows this is sweet and painful, let children know that when they are teenagers, their affection for the opposite sex will fade with age. Those are not true love, but the psychological germination caused by the gradual maturity of adolescence, and I just like it a little. He likes it very much, but it doesn't mean the future. There will be many variables in the future. Like, only represents an identity, and he has a feeling of mutual appreciation. You can regard him as your friend.

When a child understands his parents' experience, he can regard love as a beautiful memory in life, not a lasting future. He will think that the most important thing now is study, and he will readjust his energy and time spent on study. At this time, if your child says: I know everything, but I just like him, I can't concentrate in class. What should I do?

Step 4: Guide him to communicate. There may be unexpected gains.

Children can't control their own hearts. You can ask them to tell you about their communication, ask about the time and place of communication, and ask about some communication topics and contact information. As long as you have a good parent-child relationship, he agreed. In this way, at least you can know how things are going. What's more, as you know, this time is unstoppable. Otherwise, what can we do?

The biggest negative effect of this is that his enthusiasm will gradually disappear as time goes by. Maybe there will be unexpected gains. For example, the parents' child "girlfriend" is ill in hospital. He went to the hospital to visit her. He lied the first time without telling his parents. I am in close contact with my parents' class teacher. If I had known in time, I would have told him, "Mom knows you went to the hospital to see her. After dating for so long, if you don't go to see her, your mother will still think you are heartless. You did the right thing. " Then his parents asked him about going to the hospital. As you can imagine, when a girl is in hospital, her parents must be taking care of her, so she certainly has no chance to express her concern. He said, "I went with a classmate. I stayed for over an hour without saying a word. His parents are there. " His parents are secretly happy. He seems to be worried about being scolded by his parents, so he brought a classmate. Parents paid him: "Take time to buy some nutrients and go and have a look." He went to see it for the second time and came back to report to his parents.

Parents must think clearly about this problem-if you don't let him see it, he will definitely watch it secretly and will definitely buy things with money. The money may come from borrowing money or saving food expenses. It is better to be aboveboard than to let him sneak around.

Step 5: Tell your child why.

This can only be the last step. Many parents try their best to reason with their children as soon as they come up. Don't you know that children won't listen to your hype if their emotions are not handled well? Once people fall into emotions,

I didn't hear any reason. When he gets lost, you can go after him. At this point, you can tell him the truth of starting a career before starting a family, such as "when a country is strong, other countries will take the initiative to approach you;" Men have the ability, and good girls will appreciate you "; You can also tell him to "do things in spring" and "be beautiful because of waiting" and so on; Or tell him the difference between friendship and love and so on. And remind high school children that at this time, learning is the first.

In addition, in order to keep adolescent children with excess energy away from emotional distress, we can try to shift their emotional goals. For example, if he likes playing basketball, buy it for him. When he is busy, he won't have boring dreams.