Joke Collection Website - News headlines - What is the funniest joke in the world? Let’s use your joke-telling skills

What is the funniest joke in the world? Let’s use your joke-telling skills

My jokes are all the most classic ones from previous years

Bishop

The bishop heard that after arriving in New York, he was likely to be dragged into a preset trap by the press. So be extra careful. At the airport

A reporter asked as soon as they met: "Do you want to go to a nightclub?" The bishop wanted to put the question away, so he smiled and asked:

"Is there a nightclub in New York?" "The next morning, the headline of the meeting was: "The bishop's first question after getting off the plane: 'Are there any nightclubs in New York?'"

Hijacking

A gangster hijacked the plane with a bag of explosives. The plane ran out of fuel during the flight and had to make an emergency landing.

The captain said to the hijacker: "Hurry up and throw the explosives out of the plane. There will be violent vibrations during the emergency landing and it will explode."

The hijacker shouted: "Stop talking nonsense! I Never heard of sardine cans exploding."

Let's do it

NASA is interviewing people who will be sent to Venus. Only one can go and may not be able to return to Earth.

The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid. "One million," he replied, "I will donate the money to my alma mater."

The next applicant, a doctor, was also asked the same question. His request was 2 million. "I want to leave one million to my family and one million as a medical research fund."

When the third applicant was asked how much compensation he wanted (an English teacher ), he whispered in the interviewer's ear, "Three million."

"Why is it so much more than others?" the interviewer asked. The teacher replied, "If you give me three million, I'll give you one million, and keep one million for myself, we can send engineers to Venus."

Drunkard Chat

Two Irishmen were sitting in a bar drinking wine.

One of them asked the other: "Where are you from?"

The other replied: "I am currently here in Dublin, but I was born in County Cork."

"Are you kidding me? I was born in County Cork, and now I am in Dublin.... Let's have another drink!

You were born in Cork Where in the county?"

Another one replied: "I was born in my mother's house.

There is a small river flowing from the south of Sak Village in front of the house."

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"God bless" the first person shouted: "Can you believe it? I was also born in my mother's house, not far from Sak Village. For our Come on, let’s have another drink.

So which school do you go to? ”

“I go to the Our Lady of the Passion School in the town,” replied the other. .

At this time, the first person was so excited that he couldn't control himself. He shouted loudly: "Oh my god,

It's incredible. I also studied in that school. This world is really too small.

Boss, give us another drink."

At this time, the phone in the bar rang, and the boss answered: "K. Lan Bar....

Oh, nothing new tonight, except that the O'Hara twins drank too much again."

Coin guessing

Rock said to his friend: "I really don't know what's going on in the hospital. After I was admitted to the hospital, one doctor said I had appendicitis, and the other said I had gallstones." " What's the result?" asked the friend. "They argued endlessly.

They couldn't give in to each other. The result was a coin guess and my tonsils were cut out.

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Hard-won

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The defendant promised his defense lawyer, "If you have the ability to allow me to serve only half a year in prison,

then you will get an additional $1,000 in remuneration." As a result, the defendant Finally, he got what he wanted.

While collecting the money, the lawyer said, "This is really a tricky job. Originally, the judges wanted to acquit."

Tip

Yikou Shao asked the hotel waiter: "What is the most tip you have ever received at one time?" "$100." "

Mr. Kuo immediately took out 200 US dollars and handed it to the waiter: "Next time someone asks you who tipped the most,

don't forget to mention my name. By the way, who gave you the $100? "You too, sir." "

Speed ??

An American was traveling in France. One day in a taxi, when passing the Arc de Triomphe, the American asked the driver:

" What is this? The driver said proudly: "This is the Arc de Triomphe. It took us 40 years to build it." ”

The Americans said with disdain: “This kind of thing will only last 10 years in the United States!” " When passing the Elyse Palace,

The American asked the driver: "What is this? The driver said proudly: "This is the Elysee Palace. It took us 20 years to build it." The Americans said with disdain: "This kind of thing only lasts 5 years in the United States!" ”

While passing the Eiffel Tower, the American asked the driver: “What is this?” "The driver said: "I don't know about this. When I passed by here 10 minutes ago, there was nothing here. "

Died after childbirth

A gambler took a thousand francs from home to gamble. A few hours later, he came back. His wife hurriedly asked: "That big note

Have you given birth to a child?"

"Yes, yes," the gambler took out two ten-franc notes from his pocket and said sadly, "Unfortunately, they

My mother passed away."

Conversation

Time:

October 1996.

Location: New York, Canada Within the waters of Finland Province.

Event: Dialogue between the U.S. Navy and the Canadians.

Americans: Please change your course to the north by 15 degrees to avoid collision.

Canadian (soft tone): I suggest you change course 15 degrees south to avoid collision.

American (strong tone): This is the captain of an American warship speaking. I say it again, change your course.

Canadian: I say it again, change your course.

American (angry): This is the USS Missouri aircraft carrier, we are A battleship with powerful firepower in the U.S. Navy. Order you

to change your channel immediately!

Canadian (firm tone): This is a lighthouse, we cannot change the channel! Please answer... ..Did you hear that? Hey, hey,

Hey, hey,....(the dialogue disappears).

Unlucky

Miss Jenny saw a The man walked towards her with his hands wide open. "Rogue!" Miss Jenny

swore and kicked the man in the abdomen. There was a crash and the man shouted: "Oh my God!" The third piece of glass

still couldn’t be taken home! ”

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Cry

An elephant in the zoo died, and a caretaker cried beside him.

Tourists all said that he must have loved the elephant very much, so he couldn't bear the elephant's death.

A person who knew the inside story said: "No, he is responsible for digging a grave for the elephant."

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Thank God

The pastor said to the farmer who bought his horse and carriage: "This horse only listens to Understand the language of the church: shout "Thank God"

It ran away, and stopped only after shouting "Praise God"." The farmer who bought the horse was doubtful, so he tried to shout "Thank God"

Thank God", the horse immediately started galloping, faster and faster. Only when he reached the edge of the cliff did the frightened farmer remember the command to stop, "Praise God." Sure enough, the horse stopped, and the farmer who escaped death let out a long sigh: "Thank God..."

Sluggish

There used to be A farmer broke his leg and went to the doctor. The doctor asked him how he broke his leg. He said: "Twenty-five years ago, I worked as a long-term worker in a rich man's house. One night, the rich man My only daughter

came to me and asked: 'Do you need anything from me? ' I replied: 'No.' She

asked again: 'You. You really don’t need me?’ I said, ‘You really don’t need me.’ Then she left.” The doctor asked, “So, what does this have to do with your broken leg?” The farmer said: "Yesterday when I was repairing the roof on the roof, I suddenly understood what she meant."

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Soviet Joke

Kremlin, Brezhnev took up the road to the Egyptian Presidential Palace Phone call: "I'm Brezhnev, I

want to speak to President Sadat's widow!"

"Widow? President Sadat is always alive. ?" A surprised voice came from the other end of the phone.

The old man put down the phone and shouted at the KGB leader next to him: "Asshole! Why did you postpone the original operation time

?"

Soviet Union Joke

That was when Gorbachev was still General Secretary. One day when I went out for a private trip, I thought the driver was driving too slowly, so I urged him several times. However, due to heavy traffic, he was still not satisfied.

Finally, Gorbachev grabbed the steering wheel, pushed the driver behind and started driving himself.

He went on a rampage, causing chaos. Someone called the traffic director to report it. The director was furious and questioned the traffic police who changed the area.

Chief: "Did you see the perpetrator?"

Police: "Yes."

Chief: "Why not arrest him?"

Police: "I don't dare?"

Director: "Why?"

Police: "His officer is very big."

Director : "How big is it?"

Police: "I don't know, anyway, Gorbachev is his driver.

"

Pastor

A young pastor asked the old pastor: "How can we attract the attention of the parishioners?"

The old pastor replied: "You can say : 'The happiest time in my life was spent in the arms of a woman.'"

The young pastor looked at the old pastor in surprise.

The old pastor said proudly : "Then you said: 'She is my mother.'"

The young pastor thought this was a good move. During a church service, he said to people: "The happiest time in my life was

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Spent in the arms of a woman." Everyone looked at him in surprise. He was very proud, but forgot the words.

Then he said: "...but ... But I can't remember who she is."

Healthy Donkey

Aragorn rode his beloved donkey to the city, and his good friend drove by. ,

Invited him to sit in the car, and the donkey followed the car. The car drove to 30km/h,

The donkey followed closely behind, and after a while the speed reached 60km/h. h,

My friend asked worriedly: "I'm afraid your donkey is dying. Its tongue is hanging out."

"Which way is it sticking out?"

"Left."

"Keep the direction, it is about to overtake."

With bad intentions

"As more and more women advocate new styles Simple clothing, such as miniskirts and work shorts," a wife was reading a piece of news in the newspaper with relish, "so traffic accidents on the street have been reported according to statistics. reduced by half. "

At this time, my husband, who was watching TV nearby, suddenly interrupted:

"Then why don't you think of ways to completely prevent traffic accidents?"

Parents During Clinton's visit to the UK, she had dinner with Mrs. Thatcher, Jeffrey Howe and other ***. To liven up the atmosphere, Mrs. Thatcher

asked Jeff. Lee Howe: "Your parents have a child who is neither your brother nor your sister. Who is he (she)?

Hao laughed and replied: "That's me, Hao." Clinton felt very interesting. After returning to the White House, he asked Chris: "Your parents have a child who is neither your brother nor your sister. Who is it?" Christopher

couldn't answer. Clinton laughed proudly and said, "It's Hao." ”

Threat

The postman was very unhappy because he had to row a boat to deliver a birthday card to the lighthouse keeper.

"Mutter," the lighthouse keeper said, "I'm going to subscribe to the daily newspaper."

~~~~~~

Traffic Radio

Latest news: “A pig was spotted in the driveway on Highway 1! "

An hour later: "There are no more pigs on Highway 1.

"

Transmitting orders

It is said that the order passed by the US military in 1910 was as follows:

The battalion commander told the officer on duty: Tomorrow night at about 8 o'clock Around this time, Halley's Comet will likely be seen in this area. This kind of comet can only be seen once every 76 years. Order all soldiers to gather on the playground in field uniforms, and I will explain to them

Explain this rare phenomenon. If it rains, we will gather in the auditorium and I will show them a video about comets.

The officer on duty told the company commander: According to the battalion commander’s order, Halley's Comet will appear over the playground at 8 o'clock tomorrow night. If

it rains, let the soldiers line up in field uniforms and go to the auditorium, where this rare phenomenon will appear.

Company commander to platoon commander: According to the order of the battalion commander, at 8 o'clock tomorrow night, the extraordinary Halley's Comet will appear in the auditorium in field uniform

. If it rains on the playground, the battalion commander will issue another order Order, this kind of order only appears once every 76 years.

Platoon leader to squad leader: Tomorrow night at 8 o'clock, the battalion commander will bring Halley's Comet to the auditorium. This happens only every 76 years. Yes

If it rains, the battalion commander will order Comet to put on his field uniform and go to the playground.

The squad leader told the city soldiers: When it rains at 8 o'clock tomorrow night , the famous 76-year-old General Harley will be accompanied by the battalion commander

Wearing a field uniform, he will drive his "Comet" car through the playground to the auditorium.

The order is as follows: Error

At a diplomat's dinner, a French diplomat who had just arrived in the United States was a little embarrassed because everyone had to stand up and say a few words, but he My English is really bad. First, a distinguished guest said: "Let's toast the women of the Eastern Hemisphere.

"Later, someone toasted the women in the Western Hemisphere. When it was the French diplomat's turn to speak, he stood up and said: "Everyone, let us drink to the two hemispheres of women. ”

A penny wise and pound foolish

When the conductor was cutting the ticket, he found that a Scottish adult was using a child ticket, but the Scotsman was determined not to, so The ticket inspector picked up the passenger's suitcase and threw it out of the car.

At this time, the train was crossing the bridge. "You are crazy!" "The Scotsman yelled. "You can't stand my vote and drown my brother again! "

The stewardess handed the pastor a glass of wine on the plane

"How high is it from the ground now?" the pastor asked

"Twenty thousand feet"

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"I think I'd better not drink...because it's too close to our headquarters"

Scared the reporters out

One year during the "Cultural Revolution", A certain old reporter, a man, had just returned to the club from the cadre school. The new leader ordered him to interview

The model of Boluo County who was very popular at the time, a model of "learning and applying in practice". He cheered up and went on the road, and found this person easily.

"Excuse me, where are you originally from?"

"We come from all over the world and come together for a common revolutionary goal."

The pacesetter answered with admiration, but the reporter had no idea and had to ask again: "How is your life now?"

"Be worried about the world's worries first, and be happy after the world's happiness."

The reporter was surprised and unwilling, and asked: "How many brothers do you have in your family?"

"All the suffering people in the world are my class brothers"

The reporter fled"

Golf

An old but still energetic golf enthusiast went to the wizard and asked if there was a golf course in heaven. The wizard said he wanted to check it out , and gave him an answer the next day.

The next day, the old man came again and said: "I got both good news and bad news. The old man said: "Tell me the good news first." "There is a very wide golf course in heaven," the wizard said. "The course is paved with green lawns and equipped with the best equipment."

The old man then asked: "Tell me the bad news now." "The wizard said: "It's your turn to serve at ten o'clock next Sunday morning! ”

The power of the toilet

In the summer of 1944, when Britain was hit by air raids, a rental apartment was hit by artillery shells. When the smoke cleared, people discovered that their grandfather was missing. The ambulance team listened Hearing the laughter coming from the ruins, he dug out the giggling grandfather from the remaining bricks and tiles of the toilet, unharmed, and asked him why he was like this. The old man replied: "As soon as I pulled the toilet, the house fell down. ”

Excellent question

Someone asked the doctor: “Excuse me, doctor, how can I live to be 100 years old?” "

"First, quit drinking. "I never drink." "

"Second, abstain from sex. "I am not a woman at all." ”

“Third, eat less meat. "I'm a vegetarian!" "

"Then why do you want to live so long? "

Medical History

The new director of the lunatic asylum walked up to a patient and asked him why he was admitted to the lunatic asylum? The patient asked: "Doctor, it's like this. I married a widow who had an adult daughter, and my father married her daughter. So my wife became her father-in-law’s mother-in-law, and her daughter became my stepdaughter and stepmother. My stepmother gave birth to a son, who became my brother and my wife’s grandson. I also had a son who became his grandfather's brother-in-law and his own uncle's uncle. On the other hand, my father refers to his grandson as his brother-in-law, and my son calls his sister his grandmother. I now think that I am my mother's father, my grandson's brother, and my wife is his son-in-law's daughter-in-law, and his grandson's sister. Now I don't know if I am my grandfather, my brother's father, or my son's nephew because my son is my father's brother-in-law. Dean, that's why I'm here. I feel cleaner here than at home. ”

No news

A wealthy and busy man was going on a six-week trip. Before leaving, he ordered

his servant, Don't bother him with any news from home. When he came back from his trip, full of energy and happy, his servant met him at the station. "Oh, Henry,"

He asked: "Is everything okay at home?" "

"Yes, sir," the servant replied:

"There is only one small thing. Your dog died not long ago. "

"What a pity. How did you die? ”

”It died from eating burned beef. ”

”Where did it eat the burnt beef? "

"Your barn caught fire, and all the cattle and horses were burned to death. "

"How could the barn catch fire? ”

”Your house burst into flames, setting fire to the barn. ”

”What’s wrong with my house? "

"They lit a lot of candles in the house, and one candle burned the screen window.

The screen window burned the windows, and also burned the barn, burning to death. The cows and horses were killed, and the dogs ate the dead beef and died. ”

”Why light so many candles in a house with gas and electric lights? "

"Sir, they lit candles around the coffin. "

"Coffin, who died? ”

”Your mother-in-law, sir. ”

”How did she die? "

"I don't know. The neighbors said that it was because your wife and the coachman escaped, which made the old lady mad to death - but other than that, it was really No more news! ”

Excessive attentiveness

A rich man held a concert in his villa, and all his friends and acquaintances were present. The woman

the host invited the famous man to The soprano sang a lyrical song. "I'd like to," the singer said, "but it's too late. I'm worried that your neighbors will say that we affect their sleep." >

Information.

"That's better!" "The hostess cried excitedly, "They deserve it. Last night

their dog also howled under my window and refused to let us sleep..."

Reconnaissance

A car in Moscow In a crowded bus, a man standing patted another man on the shoulder, and then whispered: "Are you a member of the KGB? ""no. "

"Is anyone in your family a member of the KGB? "No"

"Where are your neighbors?" "None of them." ”

“Where are your acquaintances or friends? “No one I knew was in the KGB. "

"Then, please don't step on my toes, okay? "The first person said.

Mental Hospital

There was a new nurse in a mental hospital. This woman had just arrived and saw a patient surrounding the hospital.

An ancient well was spinning, chanting: "13, 13,..." The little nurse felt quite strange.

She couldn't figure out what this "13" meant. She kept observing it for several days. It was the same. She always wanted to go forward and ask the patient what happened, but she was afraid that the patient would have an attack. One day, the little nurse finally couldn't restrain her curiosity. Slowly walked to the patient,

looked into the well. Suddenly, the patient grabbed the nurse's legs, lifted her up, and threw her

into the well. Run next to the well and read: "14, 14, 14,..."

Tell-in

Woman A: "She told me that you told her that I’ll tell you the secret you’re not allowed to tell her”

Woman B: “Oh, I specifically told her not to tell you but I told her. ”

Woman A: “Oh my god, don’t tell her again that I told you what she told me.” ”

False alarm

Mrs. Chris took her two sons to the bank to withdraw money. As soon as they entered the bank, the two sons started fighting

. Mrs. Reese was very angry and shouted: "You stand facing the wall and don't talk!

" When she turned around, she found that everyone in the bank was facing the wall, afraid to make a sound.

Priest and God

Little Peter was proud He said to his friend: "My uncle is a priest, and everyone calls him respected priest." "Little Paul said: "My uncle is a bishop, and anyone who talks to him calls him "Your Excellency."

" Little Lacus was unconvinced: "What's so great about this. My uncle weighed 150 kilograms. Everyone who saw him shouted: Oh! my god!

What is missing?

The architect built a mausoleum for a wealthy businessman. The wealthy businessman asked the architect who had been busy for a year: "Maybe

there is something missing?" The architect said: "I am missing you now."

Same reason

A customer selected a pigskin jacket and said, "I like this leather jacket. But is it afraid of water?"

The salesperson explained: "Of course not! Have you ever seen a pig holding an umbrella?"

Change

Customer The very unhappy messenger said: "Why don't your crabs have claws?" The messenger said proudly: "This means that the crab is alive. This is the result of its struggle in the kitchen just now."

Customer: "Well, please replace me with the winner of the fight just now."

After arriving at the robber

Mr. A is fighting with A stingy friend of his was shopping in a store. Suddenly, two robbers broke in and robbed them. When the robbers began to search the customers' pockets one by one, A suddenly felt that he

His friend poked him gently and whispered: "Take this." "Don't give me the pistol, I don't want to be a hero." "Take it quickly, I owe you this." Twenty-five yuan.

"

Patent registration

The ornithologist walked into the patent registration office. "I have successfully mated a homing pigeon with a woodpecker,"

he explained. " The resulting hybrid bird not only carries messages, but also knocks on the door when it arrives! "

Such an advertisement

A milk dealer posted such an advertisement: "If you drink a glass of milk every day for 1,200 months, You can definitely live to be 100 years old! "

Man on Hunger Strike

An acrobatic troupe performed on a certain street in London: "Man on Hunger Strike locked in a box. ”

The news reporter interviewed the hunger striker and asked: “Why do you want to do this show?” "The man

replied: "This is also for making a living! "

A dilemma

A farmer was feeding pigs. Someone came over and asked him: "What do you feed the pigs? The farmer replied: "Use leftovers and unwanted vegetable peels." "The man said: "I am a public health inspector. It is illegal for you to feed animals that are eaten by the public with food that is not nutritious. You will be fined 100 yuan! A few days later, another neatly dressed man came and asked the farmer: "What fat pigs? What do you feed them?" The farmer said: "Shark's fins, chicken livers, seafood

Something like that." After hearing this, the man said: "I am an inspector of the International Food Association. One-third of the people in the world are hungry, and I cannot tolerate you. If you feed pigs such good food, you will be fined 100 yuan

" A few days later, a third person came, and like the first two people, he leaned against the pig pen and asked

"What do you feed the pigs?" "Sir," the farmer said this time: "Now, I give them one dollar a day, and they can buy whatever they like to eat!"

Direct Sales

A direct salesman of vacuum cleaners came to the door of the first household in a new sales area.

He knocked on the door and a housewife opened it. Before she could say her first words, the direct salesman rushed in and spread debris all over the carpet. He said, "Ma'am, if this vacuum cleaner can't clean them, I'll pick them up and eat them." She said, "You'd like some tomatoes with it." Is it sauce? We just moved in and haven’t turned on the electricity yet. "

One more order

A customer was having lunch at a restaurant. He ordered a steak. When he was about to finish eating, he suddenly found a fly in the steak. He was very angry and called the waiter to ask what was going on. The waiter calmly

said calmly and rationally: "Sir, you have won the grand prize of another order from our restaurant."

Elephant Sandwich

Customs officials stopped a traveler and asked him if he had items that should be declared.

"No." The passenger replied.

"Are you sure you haven't?"

"Of course."

"Then what about the elephant behind you with a piece of bread in its ear? What's going on?"

"Sir, what goes in my sandwich is entirely my own business!"

Answer

Customer: "Waiter, you Can you explain what's going on with the fly in my soup?"

The waiter bent down and looked at it carefully and replied: "It's swimming, sir, it's swimming."

The Beggar’s Complaint

A kind-hearted man often gave money to a beggar near his home. One day, the beggar said to him: "Sir,

I want to ask you a question. Two years ago, you gave me ten yuan every time, and last year it was reduced to five yuan. Today

In 2016, there was only one piece. What’s the reason?” The man replied: “Two years ago I was a single person. Last year I got married. This year I had a child. For home use, I had to save my own expenses.

"

After hearing this, the beggar said angrily: "How can you use my money to support your family? "

Follow-up consultation

Pierre knew that the initial consultation cost three yuan, but the follow-up consultation only cost one yuan.

So he walked into the clinic and said to the doctor: "I have another consultation. Coming. ”

The doctor looked at him and said, “Just take the medicine prescribed last time.” "

Interview

The manager wanted to find a secretary. He asked the applicant to take a psychologist's test, and in the end there were only three people left.

" 2 plus What is 2 equal to? "The psychologist asked the last question.

"4. "The first woman answered.

"22. "The second woman answered.

"It may be 4, or it may be 22." "The third woman replied.

After they walked out of the office, the psychologist said, "Mr. Manager, judging from the answer, the first person is very simple, and the second person is very simple.

The individual is much more complex, while the third is very sophisticated. Not sure which one are you satisfied with? "

"Smart Chief"

A certain chief had a hobby of listening to stories. One day, he hosted a banquet for guests. At his repeated request, a guest from out of town

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People told a very interesting story:

This guest met a very pretentious man in the city. The guest said to him: "Please guess what is in my pocket

What did you put? If you guess correctly, I will give you half of these eggs; if you can guess the number of eggs, I will give you all ten eggs. "

The man thought for a long time and said: "Friend, although I am not stupid, I can't know everything. I can't guess. "

The guest said: "Guess again, this thing is white on the outside and yellow on the inside. "

"Guessed it! The man said loudly, "That must be a pile of white radishes with a potato hidden in the middle." "

Hearing this, the guests all laughed, and the chief laughed even more. Finally he asked: "That's really a fool. Dear friend, please tell us now, what exactly are you putting in your pocket? ”

Sudden windfall

A French soldier stationed in the African desert received a reward from his superiors: for capturing an Arab guerrilla, he would receive one hundred taels of gold.

Michelle and Yuri began to search for prey in the desert. After a few days of exhaustion, the two fell asleep exhausted.

When Michelle woke up, they found that they were being hunted. When more than a hundred armed Arab guerrillas surrounded him, he hurriedly woke Yuri up and said: "Get up, we are going to make a fortune!" ”

Too much is too much to say

The police welcomed the 1,000th passing car in a newly opened tunnel and presented a thousand cars to the driver on behalf of the municipality

Yuan lucky bonus and a commemorative medal. He asked by the way:

“How do you plan to use the money? ”

“First, I need to get a driver’s license. "The driver replied.

His wife hurriedly explained: "Officer, my husband is drunk and always talking nonsense.

His deaf mother added: "Look, I should have known that you wouldn't be able to escape far if you stole a car!" "

Complaint

The execution officer walked into the cell, shook his raincoat, and announced an order to the prisoner. The prisoner

said in surprise: "Is this so dangerous? Heavy rain goes to the execution ground! ? The police officer said: "What else do you have to complain about? I have to come back in the rain!" ”

The French like to ridicule the short history of the United States, saying: When Americans think about their family’s history,

they always think of their grandfather’s generation and forget about it. Americans reciprocate Say: When a Frenchman ponders this question, he is often confused as to who his father is.

A customer angrily shouted at a busy restaurant waiter: "What's going on? Didn't you see that one leg of this chicken is bigger than the other?" Is it too short?"

"What's the matter?" the waiter replied: "Do you want to eat it or dance with it?"