Qiaopi love story daquan

A complete collection of witty love stories

1. When your heart beats faster, but your mood doesn't get worse, dreaming that your time slips too fast, is having you waiting for the next life?

2. I really want to fold the earth in half in this direction, so that the distance between me and you can be shortened to a place where I can ride a bike for five minutes.

3. I'm cow dung, you're a flower, you're tofu and I'm scum. We were a family 3 years ago.

4. We should miss each other every day, but we should not meet each other every day. You can date someone else, as long as I don't find out. I cheat occasionally, but I promise my heart is on your side.

5. We should miss each other every day, but don't meet each other every day. I'm in charge of beauty, and you're in charge of making money. You can fall in love with someone else, but don't let me find out. If I meet you, hum ... cook noodles with rat poison!

6. I was excited when I saw your name, and moved when I heard your voice. I asked you to go out again and again, fearing that I would make a move, and I didn't move when I saw you.

7. I am poor, but I will love you endlessly; I am crazy, but I will be crazy about you; I am ugly, but I will give you the most beautiful gentleness! Don't say that I use your crooked brain every day. If the earth doesn't turn sideways to the sun, how can we have spring?

8. For me, please take good care of yourself. Eat when you are hungry, dress when you are cold, sleep when you are sleepy, and turn your head when you meet a handsome guy!

9. Weather forecast: I miss you a little from tonight to tomorrow morning. It is expected that I will miss you continuously in the afternoon. Due to this low mood, I will turn into a big dream in the evening, and my mood will drop by five degrees. It is expected that this kind of weather will last until I see you.

1. The water is flowing and the fish is swimming. I love you for no reason. The wind is blowing and the rain is falling. I really want to hug you and kiss you. Love in heaven, love in earth, how about romance?

11. The world is bright, and chrysanthemums have no regrets; There are white stones in the world, and plum blossoms have no regrets; There is Ji Kang in the world, and the strings have no regrets; There is Yu Chunshun in the world, and into the badlands has no regrets; I have you and I have no regrets.

12. Honey, your legs must be sore, right? Because you've been running in my head all day!

13. Do you know? I haven't seen you these days, and I just want to commit suicide: I tried to hang myself with noodles, hit my head with tofu, cut my pulse with a cotton swab, use coke as poison, and jump off a building with a parachute!

14. You are bread in the morning, ice cream in summer, cotton-padded jacket in winter, light bulb in the night, garlic from Shandong and pepper from Sichuan.

15. You are my heart, you are my liver, and you are three quarters of my life. You are my stomach, you are my lungs, and you are the red rose in my heart!

16, you are crazy, I am stupid, lingering to the teeth!

17. You are a white cloud, I am a breeze, and I am with you; You are a red flower, I am a green leaf, and I set you off; You are instant noodles, I am boiled water, and I want to soak you.

18. I can only describe your beauty as a plant. Face is melon seeds, waist is willow, eyebrows are willow leaves, eyes are longan, mouth is cherry and hands are lotus roots.

19. Without me by your side, you should wear warm clothes when it's cold, eat enough when you're hungry, have a good dream when you sleep, and I'm the only one in the dream, so I want nothing more!

2. I'm afraid of getting an electric shock when I see you. I can't see you, I need to recharge; Without you, I would cut off the electricity.

21. I'm sick today. I'm very ill. The doctor said I was lovesick, and that only you can cure my illness. Will you come? I overheard you telling God that you wouldn't marry unless I did, so I didn't want you to betray God ... < P > 22. How many times have I told you, be careful not to go out at night, but you just wouldn't listen. It's not, I came to my dream again last night, which made me unwilling to wake up!

23. I don't answer your phone, talk to you, reach out and don't hold you, stand in front of you and don't look at you, lean against my chest and don't kiss you. In fact, all I want to do is.

24. Loving you is my career, thinking about you is my career, hugging you is my specialty, and kissing you is my major! Humorous love words to women

Humorous love words to women

1. As God is my witness, my shadow is always with you, and my eyes are always watching you damn it, I mean, except when you take a shower!

2. It's said that a man has to climb three mountains to find a wife. For the sake of you and me, can you let me climb two fewer, so that I can catch up with you earlier and wait for your answer? If you agree, please reply: I agree; if not, please reply: I just agree. If you don't reply, I will acquiesce in your unconditional consent.

3. Five hundred years ago, I was a regular worker in your family. I fell in love with you when I peeked at your embroidery posture at the window that day. Don't blame me for not telling you at that time! Because there was no short message at that time!

4. To tell you the truth, I won't kill you or scold you to death. My plot is to kill you!

5, everyone is awake and I am drunk alone, and the heart is the most precious. I don't regret meeting true love, and this life is only for you. (The secret is in the fifth word of each sentence)

6. My family name is me, and my name loves you! Miss you! I understand you! Fang Ming loves you! The baby name is miss you! The book is called Dream of You! Nickname is chasing you! My friend told me to take care of you! You can ask me to kiss you!

7. M: May I ask you a question? Which side do you like to sleep on?

female: on the right, what's the matter?

man: then I'll sleep on the left from today, and I'll keep the right for you.

Woman: You

8. Dear, for you, I will cross the ocean without hesitation and jump into the abyss. I will overcome any difficulties! I'll find you on time on Sunday, if it doesn't rain!

9. Come back quickly. I can't cook by myself. Come back quickly, the table is wonderful because of you. Don't make my stomach empty! The clouds want clothes, flowers and capacity, and I am thinking that your face is red.

1. I shot a little arrow of love into your heart, and you became my prisoner. I decided to sentence you to life imprisonment and keep you in my heart forever, and no bail is allowed.

11. How many times have I told you, be careful not to go out at night, but you just won't listen. It's not, I came to my dream again last night, which made me unwilling to wake up!

12. I'd like to introduce you to the best machine of this century: I can produce a lot of money and have the functions of cleaning, cooking and washing. Marry me.

13. You know, I hate you, because you stole my heart, robbed my love, cheated my feelings, and will occupy the rest of my life. What I hate most is that you waste a dime of my mobile phone fee!

14. Green mountains and green waters are really good, and beautiful women are loved by everyone. I must fall in love with you for the sake of the next generation of the motherland.

15, like, is a touch of love. Love is deep love. I hope we can go back to our home together instead of sending you home in the future.

16. Since I had you, I have become a heartless person, because my heart and my liver have been stolen by you.

17. If you love me, you can kiss me. If you don't love me, I will kiss you, ok?

18. I can't eat in the morning because I miss you. I can't eat at noon because I miss you more. I can't eat at night because I miss you crazily. I can't sleep at night because I'm hungry.

19. You are a white cloud, I am a breeze, and I am with you; You are a red flower, I am a green leaf, and I set you off; You are instant noodles, I am boiled water, and I want to soak you.

2. Do you know, dear? When we look at each other, that moment is the most beautiful moment in the world, even if I were given a village head, I would be wrong!

21, grasp the revolution, promote production, we do what you say!

22. I asked a mosquito to come to you, let it tell you that I miss you very much, and ask it to kiss you for me, hoping not to burn mosquito-repellent incense to scare it away, and it will tell you that I miss you very much!

23. To tell you the truth, I don't want to fall in love with you now. I just want to marry you!

24. Pigs can't talk, but only hum with their noses. Just like some girls, they always say: Hum!

25. If the water in the Pacific Ocean can be drained, I can drown out my love for you. However, can the water in the Pacific be scooped up? Can't! So I am destined to love you forever

26. The feeling of missing you is like: cooking without salt; Apples are not too sweet; Drinking less cigarettes; Forgot to bring money when shopping. I'll miss you when I'm free, and I'll miss you when I'm not. If I really can't spare the time, I'll just-do nothing but miss you.

27. You are my chocolate, and I am your chocolate. It's so beautiful to see you, and I feel weak when I miss you.

28. Do you hear the music? That's the voice that I love you.

Do you smell the perfume? That's my regret for missing.

Do you hear the heartbeat? That's my life for the yurt.

See the rainbow? That's my happy smile for you.

29. If you don't love me, I'm worried. Beauty is everywhere in the world, but not as gentle as you!

3. You are a book, I am a bag, you are a mouse, I am a cat, you are wood, I am glue, you are pork and I am a knife. We have such a good relationship, so you can pay for dinner tonight! Classic wisecracks _ online wisecracks _ complete collection of wisecracks

1 If one day I become a hooligan, please tell others that I am innocent

2 Although I believe in the vows of eternal love, I may not believe in you ~~

3 Life is like a play, and the play is like life, so I suddenly look back; Being alive is a kind of pressure.

4 a tree without its skin will die, and a woman without shame will be invincible.

5 Your ugliness has nothing to do with your face.

6 there are always a few mistakes in the long road of life.

undressed, I am an animal; undressed, I am devil wears prada.

7 I never write typos, but I write generic words.

8 it's not that I was careless, but that I did it on purpose. I can't give you happiness, but I can give you comfort!

9 no matter how great the truth is, it will become a cliche if you talk too much.

1 now I know why pants should be designed with a pocket, because no one took my hand and walked away by myself.

11 Those who work in public institutions are called iron rice bowls, and those who work in private companies are called disposable tableware.

12 distance does not produce beauty, but a third party.

13 So who wants to be buried in my ancestral grave after death?

14 There are always a group of invisible friends lying on your friends list like dead people. Occasionally, they cheat corpses and sometimes change their epitaphs.

15 You're happy because I'm happy, I'm happy because you're happy, I'm sad because you're thin, I'm thin because you're sick,

I smiled because you're strong, and I'm rich because I sold you

Pig!

16 don't let too many yesterdays occupy your today!

17 Breaking up means not loving. Those high-sounding reasons are not to make each other feel better, but to make themselves feel better!

18 After reading Lust, Caution, a monk said it was boring, and others asked; What is boring, the monk said; Religion is boring!

miss 19, I'm sorry, I'm not handsome. But not every woman has a chance.

2 The storm is gathering dark clouds. Between the dark clouds and the sea, there is a petrel, who matches us and lets us meet here, so that we can have a romantic affair ~

21 At first, women were not given, but later, women were urgently needed!

22 Married men and women are overjoyed.

23 Money is a dark hole, and affection, friendship, affection and loyalty will all disappear without a trace.

24 The procedure for attending a memorial service is often to receive a profound life education first, and then everyone will smoke, drink and play cards together.

25 if you want to test my patience, please prepare your patience first.

26 Nongfu Spring is a little sweet, and women talk a little.

27 people who said they had a previous life were lying to themselves; People who say that there is a next life are lying to others.

28 what is birth and death? Live well, get old slowly, get sick late, and die quickly.

29 if you see the shadow in front of you, don't be afraid, it's because there is sunshine behind you.

3 If there is no wind, the clouds will not move;

fish can't swim without water;

If there were no sun, the moon would have no light;

without you,

stupid people wouldn't exist.

31 give me some sunshine and I will rot.

32 I suddenly thought of a question, is the walnut caught in the door still nourishing the brain?

33 Give me a girl, and I can create a nation.

34 You look infertile!

it's summer, and girls can wear skirts, but not over their knees!

36 The latest definition of tourism is to go from one's own tired place to another's tired place.

37 We have a little disagreement: she wants me to turn dung into gold, and I want her to treat gold like dung.

38 when I became a swan, you were still an egg!

39 when a woman sees something she likes, she can't see the danger.

4 if you burn incense for one year, you can meet incense for three years, and you can cherish incense for ten years.

So, for the happiness of my next life, I would like to convert to Christ!

41 don't perfunctory me, you can't afford it.

42 The iron fences on a university campus are all pointed, and the warning signs on them are as follows:

If a boy accidentally turns over, he will become a girl

If a girl accidentally turns over, she will become a woman

43 The ideal is full and the reality is very skinny.

44 If a man is reliable, a sow will climb the tree.

45 you know my length, and I know your depth.

46 as long as it's not dirty, we are the mainstream!

47 don't fool me with the' 83 xo, have a bottle of this year.

48 The so-called unsuitability for children actually means that adults have moved to keep the danger of making mistakes for themselves.

49 you can lead the industry with foresight, catch up with it after knowing it, or be eliminated unconsciously.

5 holding a lover's hand is equivalent to returning to eighteen ninety-nine;

Holding the hand of a female classmate, I regret that I didn't do it that year;

holding my aunt's hand found that I had held the wrong hand before.

51 Beauty is not discounted. Sister is called beauty, and sister is called discount!

52 I prayed to Jesus for a solid and stable life. He thought about it and said, let's talk about the world first.