Requesting some short jokes about several people having a conversation (with character introductions)

1: One day, a mosquito and a mantis went to peek at a woman taking a bath. The mosquito said proudly: Look, I bit her twice on the chest ten years ago, and now it’s so swollen; the mantis didn’t Convinced, she said, "What's the matter? I chopped a knife between her legs ten years ago, and she still bleeds every month..."

2: In the hospital, a family was blessed with a baby boy. As soon as he was born, he spoke back. The child said: "Grandpa." Grandpa died with a cry. The child said again: "Grandma." Grandma died with a cry. The child said again: "Dad." His father said "ah" and saw that he was not dead. At this time, the child's old uncle said "ah" and died.

3: The kangaroo and the frog go to whore the chicken. The kangaroo does it three times and two times, and the frog next door just listens to the frog next door all night long. One, two, three Hey! The kangaroo was so envious. The next day, the kangaroo said: "Wow!~~Brother Frog, you are great!" The frog said: "Fuck, I didn't jump on the bed all night!~~"

4: An elephant asked the camel: "Why does your dick grow on your back?" The camel said: "Stay away, I don't talk to things with dicks on my face!" The snake listened to the elephant nearby A burst of laughter after the conversation with the camel. The elephant turned its head and said to the snake: "Laughing! You have a face on a penis, you are not qualified!"

5. There was a poor scholar who studied hard and wrote in front of his room door. The couplets are for self-motivation. The first couplet is: "Sleeping in a thatched hut behind closed doors", the second couplet is: "Lie down on your feet and play the flute", and the horizontal line is: "Be willing to obey the destiny". One day, a Henan man passed by here and became curious when he saw this couplet. He read it loudly in his hometown dialect: "Who fucked my ass?", "I asked him to make it hurt"... Yo, there’s also Hengbiao! But this time he said it the wrong way: ‘We’ll do it again tomorrow! '"

6: A female kindergarten teacher led her students to swim and accidentally exposed a hair. One student asked the teacher, what was that? The female teacher ruthlessly pulled it out, saying it was a thread!

7: The little girl always shows off her new toys to the little boy. The little boy has no choice but to take off his pants and say you will never have this! The girl also takes off her pants and says, my mother said that as long as I have this, that thing of yours You can have as much as you want!

8 A girl confessed her sins to the priest... Girl: Father, I am guilty. Father: My child, what sin did you commit? Girl: Yesterday, I scolded you? He said to a man: "You son of a bitch!" Priest: Why? Did he do something to you? Girl: He...he touched my breasts. Priest: You mean like this? (The priest reaches out to touch the girl's breasts) Girl: Um...yes. Priest: If this is the case, you have no reason to scold him. Girl: But...take off my clothes again...Priest: You mean like this? (The priest takes off the girl's clothes) Girl: Yes, that's right. Priest: But you still have no reason to scold him like this. Girl: Then... he turned off the light and carried me to the bed, and then... Priest: (*smiling) Do you mean like this? (The priest also turned off the light and carried the girl to the bed... Girl: (a few minutes later) Yes... That's it. Priest: My dear child, even so, you still have no reason to scold him, "You..." Girl: But he He has AIDS!! Priest: That son of a bitch!!!

9: The driver sent the leader to attend a literary party. When the leader entered the venue, the driver was stopped by the security guard. The driver said that the leader and I are in the same system. , the security guard said: The chicken X and the egg are also in the same system. If the chicken There were various fitness programs in the gym, which seemed quite complicated, so the guy chose the cheapest one, which was to lose one pound in one hour. He was taken to a room where a man stood. Naked girl holding a sign that read: "If you can catch me, you are allowed to fuck me!" The guy immediately accepted the challenge and started chasing the girl, but almost caught every time When he was a girl, he ran away again. An hour later, he still couldn't catch the girl. The fitness coach took him to weigh him, and he found that he was just one pound less.

"This is pretty cool," the guy thought to himself. "I can lose weight and be happy at the same time." This time, he chose a slightly more expensive weight-loss plan that allowed him to lose two pounds in an hour. He was taken to a room where two naked girls were standing, both holding signs that also read: "If you can catch me, you are allowed to fuck me!" The guy was very excited. He chased the two girls desperately, but in the end he couldn't catch any of them. An hour later, the coach weighed him again and found that he had lost exactly two pounds. At this time, the guy was irritated. He told the manager that he would choose the most expensive weight loss plan. The manager assured him that he would be able to lose ten pounds in an hour, but added that this plan was very dangerous and the guy I thought to myself, isn't it just a matter of having a few more girls? The more girls there are, the better the chances are that I can catch at least one. He urged the manager to send him to the most expensive room, even though the manager kept warning him of the danger. So the man was taken to a house a little further away. After they let him in, they locked the door outside. The lights in the room were dim. Waiting for him was a chimpanzee with a A sign that read: "If I catch you, I'll fuck you"

11: A naked girl ran into a taxi, and the driver covered her with his whole body. This girl After cursing, "What are you looking at? Have you never seen a naked woman?", the driver said, "I want to see where you get the money from."

12: Every time Lao Shi and Lao Lin meet, they always tease each other. One day, Lao Lin suddenly touched Lao Shi's bald head and said, "Your bald head really feels like my wife's butt." Lao Shi smiled and touched his bald head, and then said sympathetically: "Yeah ! It’s exactly the same.”

13: Maid A: “I’m so pitiful, I have to keep saying “Yes, ma’am; yes, ma’am” every day.”

Maid B : "I am even more cruel. I have to keep saying "No, sir; no, sir" every day."

14: Spaniards like beef balls,

Whenever the bullfight is over Later,

they all cut off the "testicles" of the cows in Doubai and ate them.

One day,

a Spaniard came to the restaurant and ordered beef balls.

The waiter in the restaurant said,

You pay the deposit,

it will be given to you tomorrow.

The next day,

this man came to get the beef balls,

and found that the "pellets" were very small,

and asked why,

The waiter replied: "Sir, not every time the bull fight is lost~Today the matador lost~"

15: There was a driver who often traveled around and raised a car. A parrot can relieve the fatigue of the journey

The parrot also lived up to the owner's high expectations and learned quickly

On a long journey one day, there were hens in the carriage, and the parrot was placed in a group. between chickens.

It was late at night, and I felt bored, and suddenly my eyes lit up

A beautiful woman waved for a ride, and she was overjoyed, so she took her there

As we walked and looked around, I was very happy. , inevitably have evil thoughts.

Think about the wilderness, how dare a beautiful woman not obey and say boldly: "Beauty, can you kiss me?"

The woman was very strong and said "No". The driver asked again: "Is it okay to touch it?" The woman also said "No"

The driver got angry and said, "No, get off"

So he pushed the beauty out. Keep moving forward, and soon, your conscience and lustful heart are still there, and you regret it

Go back and invite the beautiful woman again, and the beautiful woman responds.

The driver secretly rejoiced and thought: Thinking of my good intentions, I can accomplish anything!

Not long after we walked, I felt itchy. I stopped the car and asked the beauty: "Beauty, can I kiss you?"

The woman refused and said: "No" and asked: "Can I touch you?" ", the woman responded "No"

The driver was very angry and said: "No, get off" and pushed him down again

This happened over and over again, but the driver finally failed

p>

Seeing that the finish line was approaching, the driver thought, if he doesn’t do it, he will have no chance

He asked the beautiful woman again, “Beauty, can I kiss you?” She still said: “No”

"Is it okay if you touch her?" The woman still said "no". The driver was very angry and said, "No, get off." He chased her away and ignored her.

At the end of the line, oh, my god, all the chickens in the car have disappeared.

When I was wondering, I suddenly saw a parrot grabbing the last hen and asked: "Beauty?" , Can you give me a kiss?"

The hen shook her head. The parrot asked again: "Is it okay to touch it?" The hen also shook her head

The parrot replied: "No, get down" and threw the hen away from the car.

The driver had no choice but to drive the parrot away.

16: One day a lady came on the bus with a bottle of fresh milk. When the bus arrived at a big station, there were more and more people, so crowded that it was difficult to even breathe... After a while, the fresh breasts that the young lady was holding were squeezed out by the crowd, and the breasts were stained all over her stockings. The young lady said angrily: I hate it! ! Stop crowding! Everyone's milk has been squeezed out for you.

17; The "goddess" by the Love River in Kaohsiung came to the city council one day and asked to give them a

formal professional name...

Member: : What title are you going to use? Isn’t it good to be a goddess?

*Female:: It’s not bad... We want a more formal name...

Member:: What do you want to use?

*Female:: We want to use a new name——gt;gt; Angry...

Reporter:: How can you restrain... This is not to confuse the audience

At this time, the women said loudly...

Why not? You reporters are in the "service industry"... and so are we...

You are "welcome to submit articles"... and we are also welcome to "do it"! !

18: A young girl and a handsome young man went on a date in the park. Suddenly, Xiaosheng felt a little uneasy. The girl asked: "What's wrong with you?"

The young man said embarrassedly: "I want convenience." The girl was confused and saw the young man walking towards the public toilet, only to know that "convenient" Just go to the toilet.

After a while, the girl asked Xiaosheng: "When will you come to my place to play?"

Xiaosheng replied: "I want to go at your convenience."...

19: There was an old man who stayed at an old friend’s house because his daughter-in-law was giving birth.

Friends asked why?

Answer: Don’t mention it! My daughter-in-law gave birth to a baby and squeezed me out.

20: Professor Huang was furious in a class at a girls' school: "I'm half exhausted up there, but you guys are motionless down there. I've given so much before and after, do you have any?" What did you absorb?"

21: When a couple wants to have sex, they will use "washing clothes" as a code word. One day, after the couple had a quarrel, because the wife was angry and the husband had sexual needs, it was inconvenient for him to woo his wife, so he had to ask his son to pass the message on his behalf: (Mom, dad said his clothes are dirty and need to be washed. Clothes.) Mom was very angry and said: (Tell your dad that the washing machine is broken, and we won’t wash it today.) A few days later, it was my wife’s turn to be unable to bear it, so she asked her son to pass the message on her behalf: (Go and tell your dad. The washing machine has been repaired and the clothes can be washed.) The son immediately said: (Mom, dad told me, no need. He has already washed it by hand.

)

22: On a humid afternoon, in the quiet library, Ade K felt a little tired after reading all morning, so he couldn’t help but stretch his body. He accidentally bumped into the girl in the next seat. The girl was frightened. A jump! He knocked over the drink on the table and wet his clothes all over. Ade was very embarrassed and immediately apologized to the girl: "Miss! I'm sorry! I've frightened you! I will take responsibility." The girl turned around and said to Ade seriously: "Classmate! Have some common sense, okay? You just touched it. I can't be "fertilized", but if you make me wet, you'd better wipe it with toilet paper quickly."

23: There was an alcoholic who went to the street to buy wine! , suddenly he saw a notice posted in a hotel on the corner: [As long as you complete three puzzles, you can drink for free for a year]! ! Seeing the opportunity, the drunkard went in to ask the bartender and drank a few glasses of wine first. The bartender asked: "Do you want to challenge three problems?" The drunkard said: "Okay." "First, you must drink this cup of tequila filled with pepper in one gulp." "Second, we will There is a hippopotamus in the hospital that has been suffering from toothache for a long time. You must help it pull out its teeth. "Thirdly, do you see a woman living there who has not been satisfied for a long time?" The drunkard said immediately after hearing this. He was eager to try, so he drank the glass of tequila in one gulp. Suddenly he felt that his whole body was about to burn up, so he rushed to the backyard with all his strength. The scream of a hippopotamus was immediately heard from the backyard. Soon after, the drunkard rushed in When he came out, he asked the bartender loudly: "Quick! Where is that woman [with toothache]?

24: A foreigner came to Taiwan to learn Chinese directly. But he never understood the word "iron" The difference between "steel" and "steel". One day he came home very late and the door downstairs couldn't be opened. He had to shout loudly upstairs, "Mrs. Landlady, your steel door can't be opened"... .

26: It is said that one day, a policeman passed by a certain alley while patrolling and suddenly overheard a conversation

A: "How should we deal with this?" B: "Let's take her first Kill her, kill her again..."

At this time, the police officer drew his gun and rushed in without saying a word. He saw two men standing in the kitchen holding a fish... …

27: On a beautiful morning, the sky was extremely clear, but a farmer was sitting at the door drunk and lost his mind.

A passer-by came up curiously and asked: Fellow. The weather is so nice today, why don’t you go and enjoy it instead of drinking?

The farmer replied: Hey, you can never explain some things.

Passer-by: What happened. Unlucky?

Farmer: I was milking the cow today, and the cow kicked the cow over with her left foot

Passer: It’s quite unlucky, but not bad As for that.

Farmer: Hey, there are some things that you can never explain.

Passer: What next?

Farmer: I tied her up with a rope. She tied her left leg to the pillar and continued squeezing, but when the bucket was full, she kicked it over with her right leg.

The passers-by laughed and asked:

Farmer: Hey, you can never explain some things. I tied her right leg to the post, and when the bucket was full, she swept it over with her tail.

Passer: It's unlucky enough. Forget it, don't be sad.

Farmer: Hey, you can never explain some things.

Passer: What else? !

Farmer: This time I had no rope, so I planned to tie her tail to the post with a belt. I pulled out the belt and grabbed her tail. At this time, my pants fell off. It just so happened that my girlfriend came in...

29: A certain village chief wanted to do a big business. After careful investigation, he sent a plan to his superiors. It said: The Great Wall is covered with tiles and the equator is rimmed with gold; Mount Everest is equipped with elevators; the Pacific is fenced with railings

Leader’s instructions: Don’t dream too high and do more practical and small things.

So, the village chief conducted another investigation and wrote another letter.

It reads: Put on gloves for all flies; Put on a mask for all mosquitoes; Put on shackles on all mice; Put on condoms for all locusts.

30; There was a primary school student who had a crush on his teacher for a long time. One day he finally got up the courage to confess his feelings to the teacher. The teacher kept enlightening him, saying that he was wrong, etc.

But the primary school student was very stubborn and refused to listen. He also said that love is regardless of age.

Finally, the teacher couldn't bear it anymore and said, "I don't want children!" The primary school student looked satisfied. With a smile, he said: "Teacher, I will definitely be very careful!?"

31; One day Xiao Ming came to his future mother-in-law's house as a guest. Mother-in-law: "You can sit down wherever you want, the food will be ready soon!" Then she went into the kitchen to get busy. At this time, only a nervous Xiao Ming and her mother-in-law's dog Xiaobai were left in the living room.

Suddenly, Xiao Ming found that his stomach hurt sharply, and he thought to himself: No! I must hold back! But he couldn't help it anymore, poof! He farted an extremely loud and smelly fart, and he thought to himself: This time he is dead, and he will definitely be kicked out! Unexpectedly, the mother-in-law just shouted: "Xiao Bai!" Xiao Ming then thought with relief: Fortunately, Xiao Bai will be my scapegoat.

Then he couldn't help but fart for the second time, and his mother-in-law still shouted: "Xiaobai!"

When he farted for the third time, he saw his mother-in-law. He rushed out and cursed: "Xiaobai! You have to wait until you are stink to death before you run away!"

35: A Guang went on a business trip for a week and asked the apartment manager before he came back. : "Did anyone come to see my wife during my business trip, especially a strange man?"

Administrator: "No, only a newspaper delivery guy came the day before yesterday."

A Guang breathed a sigh of relief: "It seems I've been worrying too much."

The administrator added: "But he hasn't come down yet!"

A Guang: "xo...xo*amp;^..."

36: Early one morning, there was the sound of firecrackers, and someone opened a small cinema. A film was shown on the first day. The advertisement read "The Story of Seven Men and One Woman" and explained: A beautiful woman fainted inexplicably, and seven men forcibly dragged her into the forest; waiting for the beautiful woman... everyone found it very attractive. Admission is by ticket purchase. When the movie was shown, "Snow White" appeared on the big screen, and everyone left in anger.

The next day, everyone passed by the small theater again and saw that the advertisement had changed. The advertisement read "The Story of Seven Men and One Woman" and explained: It is like the stormy ecstasy of several days between a flower beauty and seven men (definitely not "Snow White"). Everyone felt that this time it was more attractive than last time, and it was explained that it was not "Snow White", so they bought tickets to enter again, and the words "Eight Immortals Crossing the Sea" appeared on the big screen! ! !

37: The spider and the bee got married.

The spider felt sad and asked his mother: "Why do you have to let me marry the bee?"

The spider's mother said: "The bee is a little noisy, but people She is also a stewardess after all.

"

Bee also felt sad and asked her mother: "Why do you want me to marry a spider?"

Bee's mother said: "The spider is a bit ugly. But they are also engaged in the Internet after all...

38; One morning at Xiao Ming's house, Xiao Ming's father was having breakfast. Xiao Ming walked over and asked his father:

"Dad, Does the heart have legs?"

Dad pointed to the position of the heart and said:

"How can the heart have legs here?"

Xiao Ming answered Said:

"Oh!",

Then Xiao Ming walked into the kitchen and asked his mother:

"Mom, does the liver have legs?"

Mom pointed to the location of the liver and said:

"Silly boy, how can the liver have legs here?"

Xiao Ming said again:

"But last night I clearly heard...my dear...open your feet... ”

39: After reading the newspaper, a senior administrative official said angrily: “What kind of society are there so many extramarital affairs?”

The official’s wife then said: “That’s right, all of them He should be arrested and shot!"

The official stared at his wife thoughtfully, "Tell me honestly, have you ever been unfaithful to me after we have been married for so many years?"

"Why do you ask such a question?" the official's wife asked in surprise.

"Don't run away, answer my question!"

"Then," the official lady was obviously frightened, "promise me first that you won't beat me."

p>

"I haven't beaten my wife for a long time." He said with emotion.

/p>

"For the first time, do you remember that during your doctoral exam at the University of Chicago, an exam committee member made things difficult for you and refused to let you pass? If you don't get a doctorate, your family will be in disgrace. Our future was doomed. Later, that difficult professor came to our house in person to congratulate you on passing. It was because of me..."

"No wonder, it turned out that it was you who did it for me...that second time. "The second time, do you remember that when you were an ambassador in South America, the king of that country threatened to sever diplomatic relations with our country? If you broke off diplomatic relations, you would become the ambassador and your political future would be over. . Later, the king suddenly changed his mind and stopped talking about breaking off the relationship. It was because of me..."

"Oh, you still did it for me...What about the third time?"

"For the third time, do you remember that when you were nominated for the Executive Yuan, you were still 721 votes short of the vote by the Legislative Yuan?..."

40: A pair of friends A and B before their marriage Meet for a drink.

A said: I asked my fiancée, and she blushed and whispered that her breasts looked like oranges. I thought to myself, oranges are just oranges. We look so average. One orange is enough for me to chew on for the rest of my life.

B said: I also asked my unmarried daughter-in-law, and she blushed and quietly told me that her breasts were like eggs. I thought to myself, eggs are just eggs. Our family is poor and having eggs is enough for a lifetime.

The two chose to get married on the same day, and got together for a drunken drink the next day.

A said: I was deceived by my wife. I never expected that kumquats are also called oranges.

B said: I also suffered from my wife’s dumbness. Poached eggs are also called eggs.

41: The Chinese Department of a university is giving a class on "Shuowen Jiezi", and today we are discussing the word "male".

Professor Huang asked everyone a question:

"Why is the word "tian" written on the man's head?"

"Because men are responsible for farming!" , Ah Hui replied.

"Very good", the professor nodded and continued to ask: "Then why is there the word "force" below? Ah Fang, please answer it.

”

Afang thought for a while, and then stammered: “Can a man be called a man if he has no strength down there?”

42; There is a couple who are very loving, almost one There are thirty days in the month of "making love".

One day, my wife suddenly felt unwell. After examination, the doctor said: You have neuropathic pain caused by excessive sexual indulgence. You must stop having sex for three months, otherwise your life may be in danger.

After returning home, the wife told her husband what had happened, so the two had to endure it for three months and slept in separate rooms.

However, just a week later, the husband could not help himself and walked to his wife’s room that night. He happened to see his wife about to leave the room. The wife was surprised to see him and asked: Is something okay

The husband said seriously: "I came to kill you, what about you?"

The wife shyly replied: "I came to kill you"

43; The two painters and their husbands both had records of marital infidelity and did not trust each other. One day when the husband went out, the wife was afraid that her husband would be smuggling, so she drew two little monkeys on his sexual organs. The husband, not to be outdone, also painted two little monkeys on his sexual organs. Draw a little guard on the private part and say: "Guard the door for me."

That night, when the husband came home, the wife took off her husband's pants to check and found that although the two monkeys were still there, they were not in the same position. But something is wrong.

The wife said: "The parts of these two monkeys are wrong. They are not the two I drew in the morning. It seems that you are messing around behind my back again."

The husband argued. : "It's obviously these two monkeys, you are causing trouble for me."

The wife said: "The two monkeys of mine are located lower in the nearest grass. Phew! They are fast now." It's over..."

The husband argued: "Monkeys can climb trees. They were in the grass in the morning, so it's not surprising that they climbed to the top of the tree."

, he began to check his wife, only to find that the little guard originally painted on the left side of the gate was now on the right side. He was furious and cursed: "You whore, how dare you argue with me? Although this guard It looks very similar to you, but you drew it in the wrong direction. It was on the left, but now it’s on the right." The wife said, "Isn’t the guard guarding the gate changing his guard? The right side is right!"

The husband was furious: "That's nonsense."

The wife sneered: "As long as your monkey can climb trees, my guards are not allowed to change the guard. ? That’s not true of you!”

44: A farmer bought several pigs, hoping to raise them to make ham and bacon. After a few weeks, he found that none of the pigs were pregnant, so he killed them. He called the veterinarian for help, and the veterinarian told him to use artificial insemination. The farmer had no idea what that meant, but he didn't want to show his ignorance, so he just asked the veterinarian how to tell when a pig was pregnant. Veterinarians say pigs are pregnant whenever they see them lying down and rolling around in the mud. The farmer hung up the phone, thought about it, and came to the conclusion that artificial insemination requires him to inseminate these pigs. So he loaded all the pigs on the truck, pulled them into the woods, fucked them one by one, and then pulled them all back again. After waking up the next day, the farmer walked to the pigsty and saw the pigs still standing there one by one. He thought that it must be the first time that he failed, so he used the truck to pull the pigs into the woods again. This time , just to be on the safe side, he worked hard on each of them twice. Early the next morning, he got up and went to the pig pen, and found that the pig was still standing there, motionless. He thought to himself, let’s try it again, so he loaded the pig on the truck and drove it to the woods, which took a whole day. , fucked these pigs one by one over and over again. When I got home, I was so tired that I fell on the bed and fell asleep. The next day, he could barely get out of bed, so he asked his wife to see if the pigs were lying in the mud.

His wife came back and told him: "No, all the pigs ran onto the truck, and one of them was still honking his horn impatiently.

45: Someone confided to a friend: "Twice I got off work. I went home and saw my wife hugging a man. What do you think I should do?" "I don't know," the friend replied, "Why don't you try working overtime?"