Urgent recruitment for bad jokes!!! The quality must be high. The more people answer, the better. The best answer will be decided at the last second!!!!

1. Three little white rabbits picked a mushroom

The two older ones asked the younger one to get some wild vegetables to eat together

The younger one said I If you don’t go, you will eat my mushrooms when I leave

The two older ones said they can’t do it and don’t worry, so the little white rabbit went~~~

Half a year passed. The little white rabbit hasn't come back yet. The big one said it won't come back. Let's eat it.

The other big one said wait a little longer~~~

A year has passed and the little white rabbit has come back. The white rabbit hasn't come back yet, so the two big ones agreed not to wait for us to eat.

At this moment, the little white rabbit suddenly jumped out of the jungle next to it and said angrily: Look! I knew you were going to Eat my mushrooms

2. Many things will have various aromas when cooked... So cooking has always been very particular.

But... On the contrary... there is something; it will taste better if it is chilled. What is it?

Electricity.

Because... Refrigerator-gt; Electricity- Ice-(fragrance)...

3. Cars can fly. Please guess a drink... Coffee...

Because... .(Car)-(fly)

4. We say a bear without a tail is called a koala, but what kind of bear do we call a bear without a penis?

The answer is A female bear, because a female bear doesn’t have a penis to begin with

5. Once upon a time, there was a steamed bun that ate a meatball and turned into a steamed bun~

6. Once upon a time, there was a piece of 5 cents Why don't they say hello to a cooked steak and a medium-rare steak when they meet on the street?

Because: they are not cooked...

7.Q: One day, It takes 1 hour for the little bird to fly from Kaohsiung to Taipei. But it took 2 hours to get back! WHY?

Because it was raining! So you have to cover the rain with one hand and fly with the other.

8. Q: Which chicken is the fastest in the world? What kind of chicken is slow?

A: KFC Chicken Nuggets (fast)

Nicole Kidman (slow)

9. On the plane, a stewardess asked a little girl Said: "Why does the plane fly so high without hitting the stars?"

The little girl replied: "I know, because the stars will 'flicker'!"

10 .Excuse me: Who gave me Wangqing Shui?

Answer: Aha~~~

Reason: "Aha, give me a glass of love-free water~~~~"

11.Q: What animal Most likely to be posted on the wall?

A: Poster Leopard

12.Q: Who will help you refill your meal when you are full?

A: Flying dragon, because the flying dragon is added to the (sky)

13. Which one is dumb: the stars, the moon, or the sun?

The stars, because: there is a sentence in Lu Binghua's song " The stars in the sky don’t speak

14. What’s the last name of the pencil?

Xiao, because: sharpen (Xiao) pencil

15. Which cartoon character is always in the dark?

Tinker Bell (Doraemon) because he couldn’t see his hands

16. 4 people were playing mahjong in the house. Why did the police take away 5 people?

Four people were playing mahjong in the house. Why did the police come and take away five people?

Because the person they were playing was called "Mahjong"

17. Xiao Ming: "You know?" What is the name of Muhammad Ali’s father? Ruobing: "I don't know." Xiao Ming: "Idiot!" Of course it’s called Alibaba. ”

18. Ming: “Do you know what mosquitoes don’t bite? Ruobing: "I don't know."

Xiao Ming: "Of course it's jelly, jelly pudding!" Ha ha! "

19.4. The mother of (birth) is called Huami! What is the name of the mother of (flower) - Miaobi, because (Miaobi gives birth to flowers)

20. Let me tell you something Touching story

Get out of here! (The story of chasing people away

21. There is a family. The whole family is very lazy...

Dad calls mom. When mom doesn't want to do it, she asks her eldest sister to do it. If her eldest sister doesn't want to do it, she asks her younger sister to do it...

But if my younger sister doesn't want to do it either, she asks the puppy to do it...

Yes One day a guest came to the house... and found the puppy doing housework...

I was very surprised... and asked the puppy: "Puppy... can you do housework...?!"

The puppy said: "There is no way...they don't do it, so they ask me to do it..."

The guest was even more surprised...: "You can talk...!! !!"

Puppy: "Shh! Keep your voice down...otherwise they know I can talk...and they will ask me to answer the phone...!!"

22. Why do foxes often fall!

Because foxes are very cunning (slippery)

23. A psychology professor said to the conference host: "If you want the women in the meeting They suddenly became quiet, and just asked them a question: "Ladies, who is the oldest among you?" The venue immediately became silent." 24. Woman: "I married the devil. It’s better than marrying you.”

Male: “This is impossible because close relatives are prohibited from marrying.

”

25. Lele ran to the zoo one day to feed the monkeys...throwing peanuts to the monkeys...but there was a monkey who would stuff peanuts into his butt every time...and then take them out to eat...Lele felt I was so disgusted that I ran to ask the director... why did the monkey behave in such a strange way... The director explained: It was because a man threw a big peach to him last year. As a result, the big peach couldn't get out of his butt. Smooth discharge... He suffered miserably... So now he must put the food into his butt and measure it to make sure it can be pulled out before he dares to eat...

26. Demon King: "Princess, you broke your throat No one will come to save you! "

Princess: "Broken throat! "

No one: "Princess! I'm here to save you! "

Devil: "Damn it..."

Ghost: "Who discovered me? "

Who: "What does it have to do with me? ”

The devil is dead!!

27. Once upon a time, there was a white cat and a black cat

`````````` ```

One day

The white cat fell into the water

The black cat rescued it

The white cat was right The black cat said something

``Q: What is this sentence

........................" Meow"

28. It is said that on a dark and windy night, on the longest... scariest road...

The taxi driver drove past there...

There was a woman waving at the roadside to get on the bus... Well... it was quite quiet along the way...

Until the woman spoke...

She said: "I'll give you an apple...it's delicious..." The driver thought it was great...so he took it...

Then he took a bite... The woman asked: "Is it tasty?

The driver said: "It's delicious!" "The woman replied again: "I also liked eating apples when I was alive..."

Wow...amp;*$#@... When the driver heard this, he was so frightened that he braked suddenly and his face turned upside down. Bai...

The woman slowly tilted her head forward and said to the driver...

Want to know what she said? ……………………………………………

“But I didn’t like eating it after giving birth to a child

29. Book 11 The book is incredible (book11)

30. A person was painted gold and became a blockbuster (a golden man)

31. Yu told Xiao Ming that her father was impotent and could not stop wanting to stop (Yu’s father could not)

32. Eating with chopsticks is popular (chopsticks to the crowd)

33. Which song has "Lee Min" in its lyrics? The moon represents my heart (

Coin Lee, how deeply I love you...)

34. What color is the best to imitate? ——Red (Moulin) imitation

35. Jasmine, sunflower, rose, which flower is the least powerful? Jasmine, because: it is such a beautiful flower (powerless)

Jasmine

36. Which one is dumb, the stars, the moon, or the sun? Stars, because: there is a line in Lu Binghua’s song “The stars in the sky don’t speak”

37. Qilin Fei What will happen to the North Pole? Ice cream (ice unicorn)

38. Which kind of flower does not have children? Mayflower, because Mayflower toilet paper (unborn)

39. A mother gave birth to conjoined children. Baby, my sister is called Mary, so what is my sister’s name?

A: Monroe Because: Marilyn (Lian) Monroe

40.

Xiao Ming: Have you ever seen a turtle shake its head?

Kangkang shook his head) No

Xiao Ming: Then have you ever heard an idiot say yes

, an idiot said no, and a retarded person said nothing

Story

Kangkang: .....

........

41. Piggy: "Chicken, why don't you take a bath? It stinks more than me."

Chicken: "Mom won't let me I wash."

Little Pig: "Why?"

Chicken: "Mom said it's dirty when I rub myself back and forth."

42. One day, three little pigs built three huts to avoid being chased by the big bad wolf.

The big bad wolf effortlessly destroyed the thatched house, the wooden house, and the brick house. The three little pigs ran as fast as they could, but they were still caught up by the big bad wolf.

The three little pigs said desperately, you can figure it out. We give up, do whatever you want.

At this time, the big bad wolf smiled evilly and said with saliva:

Then tell me where Little Red Riding Hood is

43.

Q: What do African cannibal chiefs eat?

A: People!

Q: One day, the chief fell ill and the doctor told him to be vegetarian. So what did he eat?

A: Eat a vegetable! ~~

44. Xiao Hei, Xiao Bai, Xiao Huang, and Xiao Hong are on a plane. Who will get sick and vomit?

The answer is: Little White

Because: Little White Rabbit (vomit)

45. Which letter is the saddest~!

Answer; F because FB (sorrow) I (AI)

46. Whoever plays the game between wolf, tiger and lion will definitely be eliminated - wolf, Momotaro ( Eliminate the wolf)

47. Why are silkworm babies so rich? Because... Silkworms can spin cocoons (frugal)

48.4. (The female guest finished dancing)

Brother Xian: Your dance was like sitting on the bench with your butt naked, Be discerning...

49.13. Brother Xian: Don’t look at Kangkang like this. Kangkang is actually a mixed race.

He is from an alien planet...

50.2 China, Japan, or the United States, which country has the most complete military bases?

Answer: Japan... ...There is a singer in Japan named Hamasaki Ayumi~~~

51. The sheep called the eagle, and the eagle answered the phone and said "Feed Yang, Yin Wei" (Sheep phone, Eagle Feed

52. There are ten sheep, nine of them are squatting in the sheep pen, and one is squatting in the pig pen and swaying (one sheep is squatting wrong

53.. Celery was walking, and suddenly felt a stomachache. , and then he made a "porphy" sound, what do you think he pulled out~~? That is celery dung (diligence)!!! What is the color of celery (vegetable) dung?

Answer: Yellow

Because: Qin Shihuang (celery yellow)

54. (2) Which Chinese character is the coolest?

Answer: Thong (cool). /p>

55. Once upon a time there was a eunuch......................

..... ..

........ There is no more below

56. With four fingers stretched out, read in English: Four... With four fingers stretched out, it means bent. What is Wonderful (curved Four)

57. Make a V with two fingers, what is it? Yeah~~ Stretch down with shaking hands, what is it? It’s a fallen leaf! Hahaha, I laughed to death

58. The coffee cup and the water cup were crossing the road together. At this time, an old man shouted, "Be careful, it's a red light now."

But after a while, the coffee cup crossed the road smoothly, but the water cup was hit by a truck and water poured into it. May I ask why?

key: Because the coffee cup has "ears" and the water cup does not 555555555555555^ ^

59.Why do most Buddhists live in the Northern Hemisphere? Namo Amitabha

60. Why did the frog lose to the dog in the swimming competition? The frog committed a breaststroke foul

61. Xiao Ming’s grandfather brushed his teeth and sang at the same time. Why? The dentures were brushed

62. The female mouse suspected that her husband was having an affair, so she followed her husband to the grass. After a while a hedgehog came out. The female mouse grabbed the hedgehog: Damn it, you said you're not having an affair, who are you trying to seduce by applying so much mousse?

63. I wanted to ask the junior girl on MSN if she had a CD, but I just typed "the junior girl has C" and accidentally pressed the Enter key to send it.

School girl: "You hate it, but I'm not the only one, right?"

I sweated profusely and quickly added the second half of the sentence: "...D?"

School girl: "Yeah, almost, hey hey hey! :p"

I'm dizzy! ! !

64. Prostitution of young girls—name a university: Tongji! !

65. My younger brother doesn’t like the food cooked by his mother, but he likes to eat instant noodles. His mother scolded him: "You don't know how to go out and buy a bento? Eating instant noodles is not nutritious!!"

My younger brother retorted and said, "I just like to eat, so what!"

" Alas~ Mom tells you that instant noodles are really not a good thing. There is a young lady in your father’s company. In order to save all the money and send it home, she eats instant noodles in the morning, instant noodles at noon, and instant noodles at night. Noodles. She ate instant noodles every day, and she died three months later!"

-Brother (shocked): "Really?"

-How could this happen to my mother? Lie to you? "

-Really, how did she die?"

-This... there was a car accident while buying instant noodles..."

66 .A man went to visit his grandma with his friend. While he was talking to his grandma, his friend started eating the peanuts on the coffee table. As they were leaving, his friend said to his grandma. : "Thank you for the peanuts," grandma responded, "Oh! Well! Alas! Since I lost all my teeth, I can only suck off the outer chocolate layer of them. Old, cough...

67. The eldest son and the second eldest son were on a plane. The second eldest son was airsick and kept vomiting. The eldest son had to go get the bag. When he came back, he found that everyone on the plane was vomiting. The eldest son asked him why. Er said: "I saw that this bag was also full of vomit, so I had to drink half of the bag, and my legs got bent. Forgive me! ?

My 68.7-year-old niece insisted on taking a bath with me. While washing, she said, "Auntie, why are your breasts so small?" I sweated: "Why are they so small?" "The little niece looked at me pitifully and comforted: "It's okay, mine is very small~

69. Me: Are you the legendary Princess Iron Fan?

Female: Master, why did you say this?

Me: Because...because...because I think only the Bull Demon King can match your appearance!

Female: -_-!!

70. Blind date, GG: "The last question I want to ask - are you a virgin? "

MM became angry when she heard this: "Is it important whether I am a virgin? Why are men like this nowadays! ! ! "

After a period of indiscriminate bombardment, GG said aggrievedly: "Actually, what I mean is that if you are a virgin and I am a Scorpio, then it will be a perfect match~"

71. A Japanese man worked hard for more than half a month and finally rowed from the Japanese island to the Diaoyu Islands.

When he shed tears and took out his cell phone with trembling hands to apply for the Guinness World Records, when he turned on the cell phone, it showed: China Mobile does not welcome you

72. Accompanying a friend to take a taxi to meet an online friend , when we were about to arrive, my friend pointed to an extremely ugly girl not far away and said to the driver: "Did you see that woman?"

"Yes, stop there?"

p>

"No, hit her to death!!!"

73. Send a text message to a boy: There is something I have always wanted to find an opportunity to ask you solemnly. Can you promise to tell me the truth? ?

He (very serious): Tell me, what is it?

Me: Do you regret teasing Chang'e in heaven?

He:￥#·……#￥￥#!

74. Why are modern people increasingly dishonest in their words?

The phone is more convenient, so I write less letters

75. How heavy are the stars in the sky

Eight grams (starbucks)

76. I asked about the worry, and it doesn’t love you at all. It also said that it will never pay attention to you. Let me tell you not to be sentimental! Also, Health asked me to send you a love letter: it has been secretly in love with you for a long time, and it will remain unchanged throughout its life! Happy New Year!

As the New Year approaches, I hope you will always be as happy as a kettle on the stove. Even if your buttocks are burned red, you will still be whistling happily and having snot bubbles in your nose with happiness!

I wish everyone here to be more popular than the Virgin Mary, rich enough to be the mother of Bill Gates, more heroic than Saddam Hussein, and as handsome as David Beckham. Happy New Year

77. I am here We went to play at a friend's house, but because he had just moved there was no TV at home. We were bored, so we pretended that there was a TV on the cabinet and we also had the remote control in our hands, and then we used the remote control to constantly change channels.

Later he kept changing and told him but he still didn’t listen, so we started fighting.

78. A girl named Feng Qi, the teacher asked her why, she said: My mother said the phoenix screamed seven times when she gave birth to me.

The teacher asked her: What if the rooster crows eight times when you are born?

79. Once while eating and chatting in the canteen, I suddenly found that I had dropped a piece of rice outside. I secretly felt that I was sorry for the farmer uncle by wasting food, so I picked it up and ate it. But later I discovered that the rice didn’t seem to be mine...