Joke Collection Website - News headlines - Lili bought a favorite bike with her pocket money. She informed her two good friends of the news in the first 1 minutes.
Lili bought a favorite bike with her pocket money. She informed her two good friends of the news in the first 1 minutes.
misunderstanding: in Alaska, USA, a young couple got married and gave birth after marriage. His wife died in childbirth, leaving a child. He is busy with life and looking after the house. Because no one helps to look after the children, he trains a dog. The dog is smart and obedient, and can take care of the children, bite the bottle to feed them and raise them. One day, the master went out and asked him to take care of the children. He went to other villages and couldn't come back that day because of heavy snow. When I got home the next day, the dog immediately heard the sound and came out to meet its owner. He opened the door and saw that there was blood everywhere. When he looked up, there was blood on the bed, and the child was gone. The dog was around, and his mouth was full of blood. When the owner found this situation, he thought that the dog had a sexual attack and ate the child. In a great anger, he took a knife and chopped at the dog's head and killed the dog. After that, I suddenly heard the child's voice and saw him climb out from under the bed, so I picked up the child. Although there was blood on his body, he was not injured. He is very strange. I don't know what is going on. Look at the dog's body. There is no meat on his leg. There is a wolf next to him, still biting the dog's meat in his mouth. The dog saved the little master, but was killed by the master by mistake. This is really the most amazing misunderstanding in the world. Note: Misunderstandings often occur when people are ignorant, irrational, impatient, lack of thinking, fail to understand each other in many ways, reflect on themselves, and feel extremely impulsive. At the beginning of misunderstanding, I always only thought about each other's mistakes; Therefore, the misunderstanding will get deeper and deeper, and it will get out of hand. If people misunderstand ignorant animals and puppies, there will still be such terrible and serious consequences. If people misunderstand each other, the consequences will be even more unimaginable. Nails: A boy had a bad temper, so his father gave him a bag of nails. And told him that whenever he lost his temper, he would nail a nail on the fence in the backyard. On the first day, the boy nailed 37 nails. Slowly, the number of nails nailed down every day decreased. He found it easier to control his temper than to nail those nails. Finally, one day, the boy will never lose patience and lose his temper. He told his father about it, and his father told him that from now on, whenever he can control his temper, he will pull out a nail. Day by day passed, and finally the boy told his father that he had finally pulled out all the nails. The father took his hand and came to the backyard and said, You have done well, my good boy. But look at the holes in those fences. These fences will never be restored. What you say when you are angry will leave a scar like these nails. If you stab someone with a knife, no matter how many times you say you're sorry, that wound will last forever. The pain of words is as unbearable as the real pain. Note: People often get hurt forever because of some persistence that they can't let go of. If we can all start from ourselves and start to treat others with tolerance, I believe that you (you) will receive many unexpected results ... Help others open a window, that is, let themselves see a more complete sky ... Think twice before you do: most colleagues are very excited because a new supervisor has been transferred from the unit, who is said to be an able person and specially sent to rectify the business; However, as the days passed, the new supervisor did nothing. Every day, he entered the office politely and hid in it. It was rare to go out. Those bad elements who were nervous to death were now more rampant. He is an able man there! He's a nice guy, and he's easier to bluff than the previous supervisor! Four months later, just as I was really trying to be disappointed in the new supervisor, the new supervisor blew his top-all the bad guys were dismissed and the able ones were promoted. He is quick to start and accurate in judging things, which is almost like a completely different person from him who was conservative in April. At the year-end dinner, the new supervisor made a speech after three rounds of drinking: "I believe everyone must be puzzled by my performance during my new arrival and the drastic measures I took later. Now listen to a story, and you will understand:" I have a friend who bought a house with a courtyard. As soon as he moved in, he completely rectified the yard, cleared all the weeds and planted his own newly bought flowers. One day, the original owner visited. My friend just found out that he actually shoveled peony as grass. Later, he bought another house. Although the yard was even more messy, he stayed put. Sure enough, plants that were thought to be miscellaneous trees in winter bloomed in spring. I thought it was a weed in spring, but it became a brocade in summer; A small tree that hasn't moved for half a year turns red in autumn. It was not until late autumn that it really recognized which plants were useless, and vigorously eradicated them and preserved all precious vegetation. Speaking of this, the supervisor raised his glass and said, "Let me propose a toast to everyone here, because if this office is a garden, you are all rare trees in it. Rare trees can't blossom and bear fruit all year round, and you can only recognize them after long-term observation! Leniency: This is the story of a soldier who came back from Vietnam War. He called his parents from San Francisco and told them, "Mom and Dad, I'm back, but I have a reluctant request. I want to bring a friend home with me. ""Of course! "They replied," We will be very happy to see it. But my son went on. But there is one thing I want to tell you first. He was seriously injured in the Vietnam War, and he lost an arm and a foot. Now he is desperate. I want to ask him to come back and live with us. "I'm sorry, son, but maybe we can help him find a place to live. "The father went on to say," Son, you don't know what you are talking about. A disabled person like him will put a great burden on our lives. We still have our own lives to live, and we can't let him ruin them like this. I suggest you go home first and forget about him. He will find his own sky. Just then the son hung up the phone and his parents never heard from him again. A few days later, the parents received a phone call from the San Francisco police department, telling them that their dear son had fallen to his death. The police believe that this is just a simple suicide case. So they flew to San Francisco heartbroken and led by the police to the morgue to identify their son's body. That's their son, yes, but it's surprising that the son has only one arm and one leg. The parents in the story are just like most of us. It's easy to like people with good looks or funny talk, but it's too difficult to like those who cause us inconvenience and unhappiness. We always prefer to keep our distance from those who are not as healthy, beautiful or smart as us. However, thank God, some people are not so cruel to us. They will love us without regrets, and they will always accept us no matter how bad we are. Before you go to sleep tonight, pray to God to give you strength to accept others, no matter who they are; Ask him to help us get to know people who are different from us. There is a magical thing called "friendship" hidden in everyone's heart. You don't know how and when it happened, but you know that it always brings us special gifts. You will also understand that friendship is the most precious gift from God! Friends are like rare treasures. They bring laughter and inspire us to succeed. They listen to our inner words and share every compliment with us. Their hearts are always open for us. Tell your friends how much you care about them now. Trust once in class, the professor came to the classroom and said to us, "We won't have class today, let's do a' trust' experiment." He asked us to line up in two rows facing him, and then the students in the front row leaned back without any help and were caught by the students behind. After listening to the professor's words, the students in the front and back rows looked at each other and laughed tacitly. We have played this game many times in private, and every time the students in the front row fall backwards, the students standing behind quickly pull themselves out, so that the students in front will fall to the ground on their backs because they lose their center of gravity. Later, another classmate said that playing such a game, the classmate in front would never really fall backwards again. Seeing that we were all ready, the professor said "Go". After listening to his instructions, many students standing in front began to lean back bit by bit, but everyone secretly controlled the balance of the body and did not let themselves lose their center of gravity. When the students behind saw it, they knew that the person in front was not really down, so they just reached out and touched the clothes of the students in front symbolically. At this moment, a scene that we didn't expect appeared. At ordinary times, a boy sitting in front of me in class, with a height of 1.8 meters, fell straight back, followed by a small girl. Seeing the boy fall to her, he was stunned at first, and then he tried his best to hug him. It can be seen that the girls are struggling very hard, but they still hold the boys firmly. After the experiment, the professor stepped onto the platform. He pointed to the boy and the girl and said to everyone, "Today's' trust' experiment, they both did the most successful. Students, what is trust? Trust is like this male classmate just now, without any vigilance and suspicion, giving himself to others completely; And this female classmate showed us the best example of' trustworthy', that is, no matter how difficult she is, she will do well what others have given her. The reason why the two of them succeeded in this experiment is because they deduced mutual trust to perfection. In life, we are always eager for the trust of others and hope that others will trust us, but how many people can trust others? A person is happy to be trusted by others, while a person who trusts others is noble. Students, let's try to be noble first, and then be a happy person ... "As soon as the professor's voice fell, applause broke out in the classroom ... Q: If there is a restaurant near your home, the food is expensive and unpalatable, and there are cockroaches crawling on the table, will you come again and again because it is very close and convenient? A: You will definitely say, what kind of bad question is this? Who is so stupid to spend money on it? But in the same situation, on another occasion, I might do something similar. Many men and women have complained that their lovers or spouses are immoral, half-hearted and irresponsible. Knowing that there is no good result together, resentment is more than love, but "I don't know why" I still want to get mixed up with him and can't get rid of it. To put it bluntly, it's just for the sake of unwillingness and habit. Isn't this the same as visiting a restaurant? -be a man, why be too persistent? ! Q: If you accidentally lost 1 yuan, only knowing that it seems to have been lost somewhere you walked, would you spend 2 yuan to get that 1 yuan back? A: A super stupid question. However, similar things keep happening in life. I did something wrong, knowing that I had a problem, but I refused to admit my mistake. Instead, I spent twice as much time making excuses to make others' impression of myself greatly reduced. Being scolded by someone, but spending countless hours feeling sad, is the same. Angry about one thing, at the expense of others, at the expense of blood, at the expense of time, just for revenge, isn't it just as boring? Losing a person's feelings, knowing that everything is irreparable, is still so sad, and it will be sad for several years, and it will be ruined by drinking. In fact, this is useless at all, just losing more. -be a man, why embarrass yourself? ! Q: Are you afraid to go out because you open the newspaper and find that there are car accidents every day? A: What kind of bad question is this? Of course not, it's called giving up eating because of choking. However, many people have said that the divorce rate is so high that I dare not fall in love. That's quite natural. There are also many women who are worried about their other half when they see many reports about it. Isn't this a similar reaction? The so-called optimism is to believe that although the road is difficult and dangerous, I am still the one who will cross the road safely. As long as I am careful, I don't have to be afraid to cross the road. -to be a man, you must believe in yourself first! Q: Do you believe that everyone can succeed in their career casually? A: Of course not. But it is observed that someone always asks another question after listening to the advice that successful people have racked their brains, for example, reading more books and practicing more? Isn't that hard? We all want to learn English well in 3 minutes and solve all the problems in 5 minutes. Is it that easy to succeed? Of course, change is difficult. Success is outstanding only because you are not afraid of being sleepy. Once sitting in a taxi, I heard that the driver saw that he was a high-end car before and after, and sighed: "Alas, why are others so rich and my money so hard to earn?" On a whim, I asked him, "What kind of money do you think there is in the world to make?" He couldn't answer, and it took him a long time to say, it seems that other people's money is easier to earn. In fact, any successful person is hard to achieve. We really shouldn't complain about our lives. -Be a man and rely on yourself! Q: Do you think that a basketball coach can lead a perfect victory without going to the basketball court and closing his eyes? A: Sick, of course, it is impossible. However, there are many friends who have no time to take care of themselves, but they are desperately investing in opening cafes, restaurants and companies that they don't understand at all, and they are eager to spend their hard-earned savings and become a muddled investor. I always lose more than I earn, but I feel that it is because of bad luck, not because of my thoughts. -Be a man, remember to reflect on yourself! Cruel laughing punishment During the 3-year war in Europe in the 17th century, someone invented a kind of laughing punishment. This punishment is to tie the hands and feet of the prisoner or prisoner of war firmly, then coat the soles of the feet with honey, white sugar juice or salt, and then bring a goat to lick delicious food at the prisoner's feet. In this way, the victim's itching was unbearable and could not be restrained, and eventually he died of laughter. According to analysis, the human body continues to laugh wildly, which will make the air in the lungs less and less, and lose the ability to breathe, thus causing extreme hypoxia and suffocation. The cruelty of this disguised corporal punishment is actually tantamount to torture, but this means of execution seems to bring some pleasure to the torturer. The fatuous judge and the stupid robber In February 1983, three robbers in England robbed 2 pounds. On the way to escape by car, they had to abandon the car and walk, but left their business cards, letters and other sundries in the car. The police quickly caught them all according to their business cards. During the trial of this case, a judge said to the robbers, "There are no such stupid robbers as you in the world. Now, I allow you to rob again. If you can make the police fail to solve the case within a week, I will set you free. Otherwise, I will severely punish you for stupid robbery! " I'm afraid this is unique in the world. Family cell In recent years, there has been a phenomenon of overcrowding in American prisons, which has caused the authorities concerned a deep headache. In order to solve this thorny problem, Tom Moody, a 3-year-old product manufacturer in Florida, recently invented a unique set of electronic supervision settings, which made it possible for a major reform in the American judicial system-the establishment of a "family cell" to keep petty criminals at home to serve their sentences. Tom Moody invented this set of electronic monitoring devices, which are two separate electronic devices: transmitter and monitor. The so-called "launcher" is actually a "bracelet" fixed on the prisoner's arm. This pair of plastic transmitter "bracelet" full of electronic components is 4 cm wide, which is not afraid of any collision and is airtight.
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