Funny lines from post-80s talk shows

Lines are used in many places in life. Lines are the main means to show the plot, depict the characters, and embody the theme. What are the characteristics of those popular lines? The following are the funny lines of talk shows born in the 1980s that I have collected for everyone. You are welcome to share them. Funny lines from post-80s talk shows 1

1) Those who don’t help others when they fall will surely have no one to help them when they fall down in the future.

2) Dear Earthquake and Volcano, it’s not scary as long as you are here, because you are more scary.

3) Office workers have a hard time. The salary is monthly, but the workload does not include traffic.

4) Wang Jianguo: I was bitten by a dog. Can I become a dog hero? You are a rabid dog.

5) Setting off firecrackers is to drive away the fear of the unknown future, such as when you get married.

6) Stop, stop, stop, please, who was that person who had a box lunch backstage just now?

7) No one has starved to death in more than six years, and no professor has been beaten; the city wall of Beijing has not yet been demolished.

8) Let’s talk about Lu Xun’s meaning and that. In fact, people just want to make some money and eat noodles.

9) Everyone has loved being a civil servant throughout the ages. In ancient times, it was relatively simple, just cut them off with a knife.

10) I don’t have credibility, I do, I have a bird’s stomach, look at whether I have lost weight recently. Funny lines from post-80s talk shows 2

1) Saying everything is destiny is an excuse for the weak; saying everything is luck is the humility of the strong.

2) There is a cross talk disc version and a gun version. Ours is the gun version because we have laughter.

3) Since the first day of stock trading, my seniority has declined. When I meet anyone who asks me how the stock is doing: it is down.

4) Ordinary people have no special requirements. We just want to live a life like employees of state-owned enterprises.

5) My wife always asks me: Husband, why are there always a few clothes in our wardrobe? Yes: you always buy skirts.

6) You are like F, you are always there, you just don’t know what to do with it. It’s okay if you say I look like F.

7) Encountered a robbery by a taxi driver: Special young man: You can do anything. Can you stop the meter first?

8) Hello everyone, let’s come to class today. I’m not going to talk about Fashion today. What I’m going to talk about today is LOVE.

9) Being a loser in love is already too much. What does the price mean? Who said I failed in love? Where did I fail?

10) Someone asked me at the airport, buddy, do you have a lighter? I said yes, here it is. Oh, disposable, I also have zippo.

11) I have always said that jokes are a loser's game. When there are beautiful women watching, who will listen to the jokes! When there are beautiful women watching, who will tell the jokes!

12) Forget it, let me tell you, this is wrong anyway, the key is your film He only taught female bachelors how to fall in love.

13) There was another aftershock in Japan. This time there was no damage and no deaths. What does this mean? This means: The sequel is not as good as the first episode.

14) Every time the subway opens, a few people fall out. I decided to bring a pot of cactus to work, and when I got off the subway, I saw it was aloe vera.

15) Nowadays, girls in their twenties are marrying men in their forties or fifties, so what should we do? We can wait until we are forties or fifties before marrying men in their twenties.

16) Spider-Man is just like thousands of us Spider-Man, he can only live in the city and cannot survive in the countryside. There are more opportunities in the city.

17) Look at the movie you made. Of course, the movie was pretty good. All the failures in it should have been your own experiences.

18) The goddess said: I have level 10 piano, level 6 clarinet, and level 8 English. What are your specialties? Wang Jianguo thought for a long time: I am over level 60 in World of Warcraft.

19) Oh my God, I am ready to develop into the kung fu world, right?

You don’t know how painful this punch is! Sister Hold: No, I’ll do it gently.

20) Try there is a place I want to take you to. That place has beautiful lights, a very good atmosphere, and private rooms. The most important thing is, if we go together , it will be a little exciting. Funny lines from post-80s talk shows 3

1. I believe that women are changing, becoming more and more casual.

2. You must tolerate my ignorance just like you tolerate your leaders. I don’t mean that leaders must be ignorant, but leaders are basically ignorant. This statement is wrong! How can a leader be ignorant? The leader is so smart as to be stupid!

3. Later I went to observe (the Yuanxiao mold) and it turned out that they took half a mouthful and spit it out, and some of them spit out the foam even if they didn’t spit it out well! Basically they gulp it down all afternoon, and a cup of coffee can be turned into a cappuccino.

4. I believe that Britain is the most beautiful country in Europe, especially Paris.

5. Hi, everyone! Hi! Well... I don't have much time to perform because my green card is about to expire. I grew up in a remote area of ??China. One year in our junior high school, we suddenly decided to repair the dirt road, pave it with bricks and cement, and let the students bring bricks to school... We worked hard for three weeks and finally built the road. Years later I heard the term: child labor. I was immediately surprised, what? ! Are those kids getting paid for their work?

6. At the beginning of 2008, the Prime Minister said: 2008 will be the most difficult year. Nothing happened until the Prime Minister said this. As soon as the Prime Minister finished speaking, everything happened. Were we celebrating the New Year, there was a snowstorm; we were taking a plane, and we were returning; we were taking a train, and it was derailed; we were sitting at home, and there was an earthquake.

7. Now our Chinese stock market, it should be said on the other hand, has become an accident.

8. Everyone thinks that he is a stock god and makes money by speculating. Even the aunt who sells green onions in the small market said: "I have news!"

9. Remember! Marriage is a set meal that must be eaten together. Marriage is currency and must be eaten together.

10. (Magnetic levitation) A generous investment of 10 billion has solved the traffic problem of 30 kilometers.

11. In all these years, I have never found Liu Huan’s neck.

12. Every time I see Premier Wen on TV at an old farmer’s house, he always picks the most frustrated (dirty) person to shake hands with (then Zhou Libo makes Premier Wen’s general statement): “Let’s do this It’s too late!”

13. Don’t be too surprised about malted milk at that time! I went to a classmate's house and his mother made me a cup of malted milk. It was amazing! At that time, children were given malted milk! But when I picked it up and took a look, it was crazy how the (cup) could shine on the opposite side! His mother just put in a few grains of malted milk! She used it as chicken essence! He also inserted a chopstick and told me: Tune it, stir it! Originally it was a bit muddy (turbid), but now it's very clear (very clear)!

14. A fire has burned down our Greater Khingan Mountains.

15. The worst thing is the cramp dance, where three to four hundred people dance together, as if they can’t find a toilet.

16. Think about it, this 380 yuan is useless at home. The most you can tell is, hey, this is a fake coin! This one starts with HD!

17. If you spend 380 yuan to see Zhou Libo at Meiqi and you don’t laugh, you will send Zhou Libo to the hospital.

18. If you want to give birth to a beautiful mixed-race child, you must live as far away as possible, the farther away the better.

19. Li Yuchun answered a question that puzzled me. Originally, I didn't even believe "Mulan Joins the Army". How could Mulan join the army without being discovered? Later, when I met Li Yuchun, I finally knew, oh! It turns out that it’s technically possible!

20. Fei Yuqing, I have calculated it for him. Every time he holds a concert in Shanghai, he runs away the next day. He does not spend money in Shanghai. This has a great impact on our entire GDP in Shanghai. There is no benefit at all!

21. I believe that my food is good, because everyone who has eaten my food and survived said so.

22. I am very careful. I found that in the swimming pool, especially for female compatriots, the angle of the swimming trunks goes upwards by 20 degrees on average every five years.

23. I bowed for such a long time, not because I wanted to ask for applause. In fact, I mainly wanted everyone to check that my head posture (head direction) is clear.

24. A giant slogan (next to the high-voltage tower) reads: It is strictly forbidden to touch high-voltage wires. If you touch them, you will die. If you don't die, you will be punished.

25. I believe God is a woman because she will never forget anything you did wrong.

26. Thank you everyone! I feel very honored that so many of you came to visit me today...

27. I really don’t like Chinese mixed with English. It is very inappropriate and very inappropriate to use English words when speaking Chinese. .

28. I believe that my wife’s English is indeed not very good. Another time she asked me how to spell the English word CCTV.

29. I believe that a healthy mentality is the foundation of happiness, so I never do physical examinations.

30. The two unfavorable factors met together, making us very ridiculed and ridiculed.

31. To be friends with a person, you must not only accept his advantages, but also like his shortcomings. This is called Quexi (fool).

32. I believe that people should go to bed early and get up early, and use their morning time to do more meaningful things, such as taking a nap.

33. Allah (our) stocks not only play with people, but also with birds. Even the bird has been played to death by you, so why is Allah still playing like a bird?

34. In a thousand years, not one will appear, but Zhou Libo. You think I am a turtle!

35. A person must have a legal concept and know how to protect himself. Of course, if you don’t break the law after you understand the law, it would be a waste.

36. And all the memories of my childhood were ruined by my childhood. When I was in primary school, as part of my curriculum, I had to work in the rice fields. Next to the rice fields was a quarry, and they used dynamite to blast the rocks. It was there that I learned that light travels faster than sound, and the speed of sound is about as slow as the speed of flying stones.

37. Do you still remember the swimsuits worn by girls in the past? It's like...more than six hundred blind knots are worn on the body. Later, a skirt was added, which looked like the skirt of a turtle.

38. Friends! Please help me! What a big friend! Marlboro, inside pocket!

39. The most miserable (poor) people are those sparrows. The big screen at the entrance of the securities company has never been red, it has always been green. The sparrows don’t understand. They think that the Green Forest Park and the Yanzhong Green Space have arrived, and they rush towards the big screen one after another! If you rush one, one will die. If you rush, one will die.

40. Collapse, collapse, means falling into pieces! Funny lines from post-80s talk shows 4

1. Sansu will always live in the hearts of Sansu people.

2. Being a loser in love is already too much. What does the price mean? Who said I failed in love? Where did I fail?

3. Earn money from selling cabbage, but only care about selling XX.

4. Office workers are very hard-working. The salary is monthly, but the workload does not include traffic.

5. A successful woman will make her husband never feel safe.

8. Nowadays, there are people renting boyfriends and girlfriends online. How can parents identify real boyfriends and fake boyfriends? Ask him at the dinner table, have our children’s infectious diseases been passed on to you? Those who say nothing is wrong are lies, but those who jump up suddenly are true.

9. Encountered robbery by a taxi driver: Special young man: You can do anything. Can you stop the meter first?

10. From the first day of stock trading, my seniority has declined. When I meet anyone who asks me how the stock is doing: it is falling.

11. With such a lighter, you expect others to borrow it.

12. Everyone has advantages at work, but they all hate one person called the leader.

13. You are just like F, you are always there, but you don’t know what to do with it. It’s okay if you say I look like F.

14. Celebrities go to act as guest stars, and you go to act as walk-ons.

15. There was another aftershock in Japan. This time there was no damage and no deaths. What does this mean? This shows: the sequel is not as good as the first episode.

16. No one has starved to death in six years, and no professor has been beaten; the city wall of Beijing has not been demolished to this day.