A singer who doesn't know the pain of the conquered kingdom.

My husband and I both like reading books. However, what we like is quite different. He loves to watch "Heavy", history, politics, finance and economics, philosophy of science and technology, and is keen on commenting on the past and pointing out the country. I like reading "light" novels, essays, newspapers and magazines, and I am addicted to romance and fireworks.

The dining table at home has become a stage for Mr. Wang to speak loudly. The son's present age is the stage of gradually leaving his mother and favoring his father. Father and son often discuss a historical figure, the world's cutting-edge weapons, relations between countries and so on. I watch them often forget to eat because they are too involved in the conversation, and they are always dissatisfied and always urge them to eat quickly. Or when the husband is in high spirits, he will suddenly ask his son: How does the fish cooked by the new method taste today?

From time to time, my husband will look at me with complaining, helpless and sympathetic eyes, and then shake his head and say, "Hey, a strong business woman doesn't know how to hate her country, but she also sings flowers in the backyard across the river."

As the saying goes, one side of the soil and water raises one side. The "political differences" between my husband and me are clearly defined, and they are definitely caused by completely different growth environments and other aspects.

Mr. Wang was born in the city, the only son in his family. His father was an officer in the army for more than ten years, and his mother was a worker in a state-owned factory. I come from a remote rural area. My father is a primary school teacher and my mother is an illiterate housewife.

When Mr. Wang was young, he had no worries about food and clothing, a key around his neck, and went to school alone. He was influenced by his father's devotion to the military camp to defend his country. When I was a child, I was in groups with my friends, carrying baskets up and down the mountain, and experienced the hardships of catching pig grass and doing farm work with an empty stomach. He is a bird that grew up trapped in a cage, longing for the blue sky to be marked and showing his fist; And I am a grass hit by wind and rain in the wild, hoping to have plenty of food and clothing and live a quiet life.

Don't I know the truth that "if the skin doesn't exist, the hair will be attached"? No, I know. It's just that this "skin" is sometimes too big for me to see the edge, and my "hair" is too small for a high-power microscope to see. Besides, sometimes I don't know who is younger or who is bigger!

In the late 1980s, I was in the second grade of primary school. The head teacher is a teacher surnamed Chen. We all call him "Mr. Chen" in private. He is in his fifties, thin and capable, with a knife across his ordinary face and a pair of eagle-like eyes embedded in his face. More than 40 people in the class are mixed with three grades. As long as anyone says a little word or does something that is nothing, Mr. Chen's eagle eye will be swept away and he will slip out immediately-the girl reaches out to touch the board, the boy puts his head on the table and drills his temple with a fist electric drill. In Mr. Chen's words, this is called "drilling their brains"

When Mr. Chen was executed, we were too scared to go out. Whether it is hitting a girl's palm or drilling a boy's brain, he is expressionless, only his mouth is unwilling to be lonely. With the strength in his hand, he smoked a lot ... so much so that he watched the TV series "Princess Pearl" for many years and always remembered his age for no reason.

But one day, such an old man will be interviewed by Liu, a famous writer in our hometown. At that time, correspondent Liu interviewed Mr. Chen in the office, and then came to the class to pick a few classmates around Mr. Chen and accepted his random interview. Of course, the main purpose is to take a big photo of us around Mr. Chen, which can be inserted in the middle of the report in the future.

I don't know if it's because I'm sallow and emaciated, and I look particularly miserable. I was also selected by the correspondent. He also asked me, "Does your teacher Chen often carry you across the river in rainy days?" I froze at once and didn't know how to answer. I wriggled for a while, then said to Nuo Nuo, "No ...No." To prove that I was not lying, I added, "There is no river in our village."

Then I saw Mr. Chen's face suddenly pulled down, but when correspondent Liu asked for a photo, his face was immediately filled with smiles. My hanging heart finally let go.

However, after correspondent Liu left, Teacher Chen said to me viciously, "Can't you say that you have crossed the river?" Do you have a sense of collective honor? "

I was puzzled at that time, and no one told me what to say beforehand. Moreover, there is really no river in our village, and I don't know what the sense of collective honor has to do with me. But instead of being hit by the board, I was secretly glad for a long time.

When I was in junior high school, many families in our village painted various slogans on the wall, including "Family planning is the basic national policy of our country", "Women of childbearing age should have an environmental check-up, and 2 yuan should give subsidies" and "If there is no ring, don't tie it, just catch it when you see it". ......

But the determination to have children in rural areas is unstoppable, especially in families without boys. My good friend Xiao Juan's uncle's house is like this. Her aunt gave birth to five daughters in succession, and since the birth of the third child, relatives have avoided family planning everywhere. In order to cope with this situation, the family planning team in the village often drives tractors and forklifts, and then according to the information provided by "informants" lurking in various villages, they go to relatives' homes to pull furniture, animals and tear down the courtyard wall, in order to make relatives have to hand over pregnant women.

On this day, Xiao Juan's aunt's information hidden in Xiao Juan's house somehow leaked out, and some people were blocked at the door of Xiao Juan's house. First, they took her cow, but Xiao Juan's parents still didn't let go. They emptied the furniture in her hall. Finally, they simply pushed the wall of her house with a forklift, saying that they would push the whole door if they didn't hand over the pregnant woman. Xiao Juan's mother lay under the forklift, crying and yelling, "If you want to destroy my home, I'll run it over first ..." Xiao Juan's father smoked his pipe with a straight face.

When Xiao Juan came back from school at noon, she saw a village full of people watching. Cattle and furniture are outside the yard, and her mother is crying and noisy on the ground, disheveled, and her shoes are thrown aside, which makes her angry and embarrassed. So she quietly pulled a task force member aside and said, let them see the abandoned broken house in the cornfield at the head of the village. In fact, she is not sure where her aunt is. She just saw her mother sneak in a few times.

Xiao Juan's aunt was taken away, and Xiao Juan's cows and furniture were also sent back. At that time, her aunt had been pregnant for eight months, and the child was ligated after induced labor. It is a boy.

Later, when the story came to light, Xiao Juan's mother gave her a good beating. Then the mother and daughter became cold unconsciously, and even her mother stopped participating in her adult marriage. Xiao Juan said that her mother said that she was a sinner after her family died, and she never wanted to forgive her. Xiao Juan has never been to my uncle's house. It is said that my aunt has been a little crazy since the fetus was induced.

Xiao Juan said that at that time, she felt that she had done nothing wrong. She just wants to protect her family, and even thinks the whole family is too ignorant. If everyone is like this, how can national policies be implemented? I am simply a brave man who should be praised for putting righteousness above family interests. However, a year later, Xiao Juan also became the mother of two children. After so many years of estrangement between mother and daughter and the hardships of my uncle's family, she finally regretted it and blamed herself: she may have been wrong from the beginning. ......

In high school, Lu Xun was one of the few writers who had the greatest influence on us. Because from primary school to high school, we have learned a lot of Lu Xun's works in textbooks.

There are Running Boys, From the White Grassland to the Three Ponds for the Moon, Social Drama, Kong Yiji, Medicine, and In Memory of Liu Hezhen Jun, etc. ......

In our minds, Lu Xun is not only a scholar, but also a revolutionary soldier. His integrity was admirable, and all the people he reviled at that time took it for granted that they were people who had no position and wisely protected themselves.

But later, when I went to college and took part in work, I read more and more books, including the books of people he scolded, such as Hu Shi, Lin Yutang and Liang Shiqiu. When we know more, many things will have different faces. For example, Ms. Yang Yinyu, whom he scolded, actually had the heroic side of protecting students and unfortunately dying after fighting the Japanese army.

Among these famous scholars, I like Mr. Lin Yutang best. Although I was not born when Mr. Wang died. But in his works, I often feel the voice of thought.

He said in his autobiography:

He also said: I like revolution, but I don't like revolutionaries.

As an ordinary person, I naturally can't be on an equal footing with my husband, but I feel the same way when my husband analyzes the influence of childhood life on me. In this world, the times are constantly changing, the situation is constantly changing, and disputes are constantly changing. The criticized has become the mainstream, and the once mainstream has become a joke; But who is more correct than who, or who is more just than who?

I only know that every mountain, every piece of water, every grass, every tree, every insect and every bird in this world is so fascinating and nostalgic; When I was a child, the images of mountain people like ants often appeared in my dreams. Each of them is a living person, with their own joys and sorrows, as well as their stubbornness and tenacity in closing the country to everything they represent. Time goes by, no matter when or where. It's just that one generation dies like a leaf, and another generation comes like a flower. It's just that all the lives that have been and have been deserve to be treated and respected by people.

Mr. Wang still likes to talk with his son about history and current politics. He enlightened his son that "every man is responsible for the rise and fall of the world", "a gentleman rules the country by self-cultivation", "a scholar should strive for self-improvement and shoulder a long way to go", "the bones don't have to be buried and live forever" and "study for the rise of China" ...

As for me, I'd better be a businesswoman who doesn't know how to hate and subjugate the country. When the weather is fine and spring blossoms, I will take my son to see the gorgeous clouds in the sky, listen to the birds singing in that tree and smell the flowers in the garden. Or I will tirelessly walk around the streets, just to taste the delicious food I have never seen before ... or, when I have a holiday, I will take him to help my grandmother turn over the soil in the vegetable fields.

On the moonlit night, we may walk in the community, playing with the flying orders about the moon: "I didn't know the moon when I was a child, so I called it a white jade plate", "Until I raised my cup, I asked the moon, and brought my shadow to me, let the three of us", "Today, only the Xijiang moon once shone on the people in Wu Palace" ... and told him that this is the moon that shone on Li Bai.