Collect jokes that make people think wrong.

1. I'm always restless at school. I taught myself for the first time when I was a freshman. I was so depressed sitting in the classroom that I immediately ran to the aisle to smoke. Not long after I lit a cigarette, a PL girl came over and asked me, "I'm teaching myself now! How did you get out? " I said, I'm bored by smoking. Well, which class are you in? How also ran out. PLMM pointed to our classroom and said, that class! At that time, I was particularly excited to say, are we in the same class? What, are you depressed? She said: well, a freshman in our class came out from self-study and I came out to find him. I smiled, it seems that someone still can't sit still. What do you want from him? You're not his mother! MM: I can't help it. I'm his head teacher! I was cheated at that time ... A minute later, I choked up and said, Teacher, you look so young ... 2. Yesterday, I went to KFC, and the people behind me looked like a couple. They ordered a lot of food and sat next to me. After sitting down, the girl began to eat hard, as if she had been hungry for several days, while the boy chewed French fries one by one, as if he had something on his mind. Suddenly, the boy put down the French fries, leaned down and asked seriously, "Qingqing, can I chase you?" Without looking up, the girl said directly, "No!" The boy asked again, "Is this completely impossible?" The girl simply said, "Not at all!" The boy froze, looked at her straight and stayed there ... At that time, the girl held a chicken leg in one hand and a hamburger in the other, thinking that the boy was watching her, so she stopped eating, then looked at the boy with poor eyes and whispered, "Hmm ... can I still eat?" Everyone around me, including me, laughed. The boy said helplessly, "Eat, eat …" This MM is so cute … If I don't let it go, I must chase it … desperately! ! ! ! 3. A brother went to the toilet and entered the ladies' room by mistake. When he went in, he found that there was no urinal, which was wrong. Fortunately, there is no one in the room. He walked out casually. When I opened the door, I met a mm who came in and got to know him. He blushed, lowered his head, turned and got into the men's room ... 4. One day, there were too many people on the bus, which was particularly hot and boring. I don't know who farted, which made the environment worse. My friend can't stand it, and I don't know who it is. I can't help it As it happens, the conductor is asking, "Who didn't buy the ticket?" My friend suddenly had a plan and said loudly, "Fart didn't buy a ticket!" " Suddenly, a particularly fat woman held the ticket high in her hand and said loudly, "I have bought the ticket." "The situation of losing bicycles at school is very serious. The new bicycles disappear in the blink of an eye, but sometimes with luck, the lost bicycles will appear again every few days. One day, my roommate Xiao Jing bought a new gearbox car. She showed off to everyone and said, "I locked this car with the latest lock!" " "The next day, Xiao Jing came back from night lessons and looked depressed. He still holds a note in his hand, which reads: Don't be the master here, I borrowed the car, and I will pay you back in a few days! A few days later, the thief really returned the car. Xiao Jing is very happy, but she is worried that the car will be "borrowed" again. I bought ten big locks, locked the car tightly, and put a note on the thief: See how you "borrow"! When Xiao Jing went downstairs the next morning, she found five more locks on the car, and there was a note on the lock: See how you ride! 6. Children are simple ... In junior high school, a boy tried to copy a girl's homework. He was afraid that people would disagree, so he searched her schoolbag after she left the classroom and found a sanitary napkin. He was surprised and said, "Wow! What a big band-aid! " 7. This happened in my middle school. Today, it is necessary. It was an English class, and the teacher asked us to make sentences with "How to …". At that time, there were daily expressions in junior high school and senior high school, such as "How are you? How are you?". But the problem is that when everyone is brainstorming for answers, they only listen to one person in the back row saying, "What an excellent root ~ ~ ~" (I believe friends who have played Street Fighter. At the dinner table, his mother stood up and said politely, "You must eat and drink enough. You're welcome. You can't waste it. Now you have moved to a new house. There are no pigs at home anyway. It's a shame to get rid of them. 9.h Jun and his friends enter an upscale shopping center. I took two steps after I entered the store. My friend was surprised to see him skating on the smooth marble floor. Asked him, H Jun pointed to the sign next to him while continuing to slide, and said seriously, "Since I am here, I must abide by the regulations here. The sign says "Slide carefully". 10. A leader went to the countryside to do a census and asked an old farmer: Do you know why close relatives can't get married? The old farmer replied with a simple and honest smile: Hehehe, Hehehe, the relationship is too familiar, and there is no way to start. 1 1. A sculpture was completed in the new building of a university: a young girl held a book in her left hand and a pigeon in her right hand, symbolizing harmony. Outside the school, students were openly asked for names, and as a result, many people's slogans coincided-reading is the best use! 12. In a literature exam, there was such a question: noun explanation: Shakespeare (Shakespeare's respectful name) A classmate answered this question: Shakespeare, a strange bird. 13. When I was in primary school, there was a text called Waterfall. In the middle, the author turned a mountain and saw a waterfall hanging in it. When one of my female classmates read aloud, she also said forcefully: I was shocked when I climbed over this mountain, and there was a rag hanging on the mountain.