20 classic jokes: guess your grandmother! Great!

Jokes are familiar to each of us, and they are often said, especially when classmates often tell jokes together. When they are unhappy, wronged or crying, a joke may instantly sweep away these sad emotions. Look at the jokes carefully arranged by 365 Quotations Network for you. In fact, life itself is a joke. Life is nothing more than you laughing at others and others laughing at you. Parents who read this article should do it.

1. The son said to his father, "Dad, there is a band in our school and I want to join it. The school also said that I should bring my own musical instrument. " The father stared at his son for a long time, handed a chopstick and said, "Son, our family is poor. Can you try to be a conductor?"

The emperor said to the little plum beside him: You can describe me in one word. Xiao Lizi replied: What's the matter? Then the little plum was cut.

3. Just as I was screening my resume, I saw a resume of graduate students' award-winning experience: I won the Master Kong "One more bottle" award many times during my school days.

4. Teacher: "Please turn the sentence" The horse ran away "into a question." Student: "Can a horse run?" Teacher: "Correct! Very good! Now turn it into an imperative sentence. " Student: "Drive!"

It sounds as if someone is going to the northeast on business and wants to drink beer in the restaurant. The waiter asked, room temperature or cold storage? Some people angered, you still let me drink frozen food in this cold weather? The waiter calmly said that the normal temperature is-15, and the refrigerated temperature is-1. 6. In history class, the teacher asked Xiaoming: Do you know how the Japanese laughed at us at the beginning? Xiao Ming: Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe.

7. There are 50 students, 48 girls and 2 boys in one class of a foreign language college. Then, then, then, two people slowly fell in love.

8. Nietzsche went to an interview, and the interviewer asked, "What's your name?" "Nietzsche." "Guess you are grandma! Next! "

9. When crossing the road, I met a red light. My friend wants to move on. I stopped him: "Wait for the light, wait for the light!" " My friend turned to me with disdain and said, "Only you have Intel!

10. When I was in college, a teacher asked me to fill out a very important form, and declared that each person had one, and I couldn't alter it without the rest. A buddy came up to fill it out, only to find that the gender column was filled with the national "Han nationality". He thought about it and added a word "Zi" after "Han".

1 1. I asked my friend what the password of his photo album was, and he gave me a string of 17-digit English "cptbtptpbcptdtptp". I was surprised and asked, "How can you remember it for so long?"

He replied weakly: "Don't spit grape skin if you eat grapes, and spit grape skin if you don't eat grapes!"

12. When I went to the toilet, I saw that only the abbreviation of NC was marked on the toilet door. The English expert who went with me said: NC is a men's room. So suddenly, I was enlightened, entering, taking off, squatting, and all of a sudden, my mind suddenly flashed. What's the abbreviation for ladies' room?

13. A woman learns her driver's license and takes a road test. Get off the bus in front, it's her turn, very nervous! She got off from the right, then went around to the left and opened the car door ... and then she shouted, Coach! Where is the steering wheel! The examiner looked back at her and said calmly, you opened the back door. ...

14. Brother-Brother, won't you buy flowers for your boyfriend?

15. Teacher: "Daxiong, the teacher gave you 90 yuan, and then you borrowed 10 yuan from Pang Hu. How much money do you have?"

Nobita: "0 yuan." Teacher: "You don't know math at all!" " "

Nobita: "You don't know anything about Pang Hu! www.yikexun.cn

16. A brother chases his girlfriend, and every morning he has a pack of heart-shaped biscuits and a bottle of milk. Perseverance, finally got what I wanted. One morning, he went to see his girlfriend with a heart-shaped biscuit. His girlfriend asked, "Where did you buy this biscuit? I went to many supermarkets, but I just couldn't buy this shape. " He proudly said, "Of course I can't find it. I chewed it up ... "

17. Uncle came to visit, but Xiaowen said to his mother, "Mom, I'm going to the zoo to see monkeys." Mother growled at once, "What monkey are you looking at? Your uncle is here. What zoo are you going to? "

18. Windows and mirrors are made of glass. The only difference is that the mirror has a thin layer of silver, but because of this layer of silver, you can only see yourself and not the world.

19. Once I went to the supermarket to queue up after shopping, when the person in front paid, the cashier said, "Your 100 yuan is fake." The man was surprised and said, "Impossible. KFC just found this for me! Please show me the change for 100.

20. Someone in a campus forum asked, "Why do cockroaches appear more frequently after the school kills cockroaches with cockroach incense? I haven't seen them before. " A student replied, "Aren't you in a hurry without your family?"

The above is all the contents prepared by 3665 Quote Network for everyone. Did you smile after reading it? 365 Quotations and Lines Network collects and shares classic quotations and classic platforms. If you like me, please continue to pay attention to www.365j.com.