Funny short sentences (funny short sentences that make you laugh)

1. Do you know why beauties have had such a bad life since ancient times? Because no one cares how long an ugly person lives.

2. Other people’s faces are 70% determined by nature and 30% by dressing up. Your face is 10% determined by nature and 90% by filters.

3. A man can’t find his girlfriend, so he has no choice but to go to fortune telling. Fortune teller: You are destined to have no women in the first half of your life. The man's eyes lit up: What about the rest of his life? Fortune teller: You will get used to it for the rest of your life.

4. I finally understand why I wear a mask. It’s not because of germs, but because I’m afraid of meeting people with bad breath.

5. I am fat and I love eating meat. What’s wrong? We have spent tens of millions of years climbing to the top of the food chain, not to eat vegetables.

6. My wife asked me: If a female colleague seduce you, would you obey? I smiled and shook my head, haha, who do you think I am? Am I the kind of person who tells you what I really think?

7. I asked Buddha: Is there true love in this world? Buddha said: If so, would I still become a monk?

8. Go to the bank in the summer, firstly to use the air conditioner, and secondly to check the balance. Your body and mind will feel much cooler.

9. One day, I was driving through a residential area, and a little boy kicked my car. I gave him 5 yuan as soon as I got out of the car and encouraged him to fly up and kick the big truck next time.

10. What does death mean? Probably getting pissed off 10,000 times a day but still not quitting.

11. I saw an old lady lying on the ground today, and I was wondering whether to help her. Just when I was about to go up and help her, the old lady said: "Go away, poor boy, and don't disturb my business." ".

12. My son failed in the high school entrance examination and was scolded by his wife. I went to comfort my son: "You study hard and you will definitely surpass your father in the future." My son said weakly: "I can't guarantee anything else. However, I am very sure that I will find a wife who is better than you in the future."< /p>

13. There are many things that you can’t figure out at the time. Don’t worry. If you think about it after a while, you won’t be able to remember it.

14. My best friend had a fight with her boyfriend and gave me the fruit she bought for her boyfriend. I said, "Why don't you leave some for your boyfriend?" She said, "Give it to the beast." No food is left for him!”

15. I feel that this society is getting better and better, and everyone is very sensible. Boys are very sensible, and as soon as they have money, they want to take care of more girls. Girls are also very sensible. If they know that a boy has no money, they will not stay with the boy to save him from hardship.

16. Why quarrel? Can't we just sit down and stab each other calmly?

17. The mentality of "it's only a dozen yuan, just buy it without worrying about it" has cost me tens of thousands so far!

18. When I went shopping in the supermarket today, I saw two monks with their shopping carts full. I thought that the monks were really rich. When I checked out, the cashier asked him if it was cash. Still swiping the card, one of the monks said, we are here to ask for alms.

19. A friend described the reason for his resignation: My job is cheap and the quantity is sufficient.

20. Some people say that life is firewood, rice, oil and salt, while others say that life is a mess, but I am special. I am struggling on the line of survival and have not yet lived a life.

21. My mother, who has always been strong, finally admitted her mistake to me today! She said helplessly: "I really regret that I didn't let you fall in love early. It was an opportunity to succeed or not, but now it's better to lose it!"

22. There are only three things that hurt people. Types: troubles, quarrels, empty wallets. And the most hurtful thing is an empty wallet.

Twenty-three. After living for 20 years, I now know: What represents autumn is fallen leaves. What can represent winter is snowflakes. What can represent spring is flowers. It represents summer, and you’ll know if you don’t light mosquito coils tonight!

Twenty-four, my mother was working in the kitchen and asked me to take out the garbage. I was reluctant, because my father was idle, so he muttered: "If you don't use your own husband, use someone else's husband." My mother looked back at me and said, "If you don't use your own son, why use someone else's son?"< /p>