Talking about how to have a heart-to-heart talk

Heart-to-heart talk is a form of exchanging ideas and opinions between comrades. There are collective talks and personal talks. The purpose of heart-to-heart talk is to communicate ideas, solve contradictions and enhance unity.

(1) Adequate preparation is the prerequisite for a successful heart-to-heart talk. Generally speaking, the preparatory work should be "four clear". First, the mentality is clear. For example, what problems the people are talking about, what problems they have, what was their original ideological basis, what are their current thoughts and emotions, and what are their temper, temperament, cultural level and cultivation. Second, the cause and effect are clear. For example, how did the problem of heart-to-heart talk come about, what is the background, what is the relationship between the parties and the relevant personnel, and what is the fundamental crux of the problem. Third, social relations are clear. We should understand the relationship between the people we talk to and society, family, relatives and friends, and the influence of these factors on the people we talk to. Fourth, the relevant information is clear. Including the ideological theory and related issues needed in the heart-to-heart conversation, so as to reasonably guide and convince the other party. On the basis of "four clearness", determine the theme of the heart-to-heart talk and clarify the purpose of the heart-to-heart talk. Some problems need to be discussed several times before they can be solved. For such a question, you should know what kind of goal you need to achieve every time you speak.

(2) Grasp the opportunity to talk. What can be discussed and what cannot be discussed; When to talk about what and when not to talk about what; Which topics can be discussed directly and which topics should be postponed; We should seize the opportunity to discuss which issues should be discussed in depth and which issues can be touched upon. It depends on different people and things to grasp the opportunity of confidence. The key point is to assess the situation and control the trend of heart-to-heart. In particular, we should pay attention to the following opportunities for heart-to-heart: First, talk in advance when there are signs and hidden dangers. The second is to be cruel to comrades who are angry from embarrassment. The third is to talk about comrades who are in adversity and temporarily lag behind. Fourth, we should talk about it afterwards when evaluating and commending.

(3) Choose good occasions and ways of speaking. The purpose of heart-to-heart talk is to help each other solve problems. Therefore, we should not only consider the time of heart-to-heart, but also consider the occasion and way of heart-to-heart. Different environments and ways of heart-to-heart talk have completely different psychological functions and effects. A heart-to-heart occasion. Indoor conversation can enhance the seriousness of heart-to-heart, make people pay more attention to the content of heart-to-heart, and at the same time, it is convenient to directly grasp the psychological changes of the other party. Talking outdoors or heart-to-heart at home can make each other relaxed and happy, enhance their feelings and help solve problems. Talking in the process of work or life can make the other person free and calm, and make the conversation go smoothly. The way you talk. One is inquiry, that is, talking by asking questions, which can be divided into direct inquiry and implicit inquiry. This form can quickly understand the situation. The second is evaluation, that is, the evaluation of the heart-to-heart object is divided into two parts, affirming the achievements, pointing out the shortcomings and putting forward hope. Comment style can better adapt to the expectation psychology of the speaker. The third is discussion, that is, discussing and studying a problem together. Discussion helps to eliminate the other party's worries and find out their ideological context, so as to prescribe the right medicine and solve the problem. The fourth is logical, that is, connecting with what happened to the heart-to-heart object, expounding the truth from the combination of theory and practice, so that one's own understanding can be continuously improved and it is easy to produce good results. Fifth, consultation, that is, consciously seek each other's opinions on themselves and carry out criticism and self-criticism. This way helps to inspire the other party to dissect themselves and create conditions for the final solution of the problem.

(4) Appropriate use of heart-to-heart feelings. First, the feelings are deep and sincere. Especially when talking with comrades who have made mistakes, we should analyze and evaluate them sensibly, rationally, gently, reasonably and realistically, pay attention to finding their positive and beautiful aspects, give encouragement and strength, and point out the direction and hope for progress. Second, the style of work is democratic, and you will listen and understand. Let both sides fully express their opinions, and don't "speak at the same time" from beginning to end, just "I say you listen" and "I say you understand". When the other person speaks and expresses opinions, the speaker should be good at listening and thinking, especially for different opinions, let him finish, then analyze them in detail, distinguish different situations and answer them as appropriate. The third is to adhere to principles and never tolerate them. We can't give up our principles, we can't tolerate them, we can't follow the wrong ideas of the people who are talking to us, we can't use sympathy instead of reasoning, and we can't use small truths instead of big ones. The fourth is patience and perseverance. Many times, the change of people's thinking and the improvement of their understanding can not be "broken" or "made clear at once", or they can only be persuaded by "a golden tongue". We should be patient and meticulous, educate repeatedly, and let the people have a process of thinking and adapting.

(5) Master the language art of heart-to-heart. For those who are knowledgeable, experienced and receptive, the language should be philosophical when speaking, and the examples can be wider to convince people; Treat those people with average experience, average knowledge and average acceptance, and the language should be easy to understand; For those who are young, shallow, simple-minded, and have poor acceptance, we can tell more simple truths and give more examples of his direct experience to make things clear. Under normal circumstances, in the process of heart-to-heart, we should use more practical, simple and popular language, concise and full of emotion, reason and examples. This will not only make the other party realize the deep affection of the confidante, but also make the other party realize the truth, increase their knowledge and improve their consciousness.

(6) Determine the best person to talk to. Because everyone's knowledge, cultivation, personality and other qualities are different, the results of talking to the same person about the same thing are often very different, so we must pay attention to who to talk to.