Any good jokes?

My son sleeps with his mother every night. Mom said: when you grow up, you marry a daughter-in-law and sleep with your mother? A: Yes. Mom said, what about your wife? The son said, let her sleep with her father. After hearing this, Dad said excitedly, "This child has been sensible since childhood, and his brother has been constipated. He can't be comfortable in the toilet for long. Just as he was going all out, he watched a buddy rush into the toilet like the wind and enter the next position. No sooner had I entered than there was a real storm. My brother said to his buddy enviously, "My buddy envies you." The buddy said, "What do you envy? I haven't taken off my pants yet ~ ~ I once played mahjong on a hot day and suddenly the power went out. Another man said, "You can't open it. An American, a Japanese and a China are exploring the jungle. They will blow out the candles. As a result, they were all arrested by cannibal tribes. But the tribal leader said, "I'm in a good mood today. I won't eat you, but you all have to get a hundred boards, but you can have a wish come true before you get a board." "Americans are the first to get the board. He said, "Before hitting the board, put 1 mat on my ass." Mats, boards rained down; In the past, 70 boards were ok. After the 70-board back cushion was smashed and there was blood on the board ... America always left. When the Japanese saw this, they asked for a 10 mattress. After 1, 2, 3 ... 100, the Japanese got up and patted their ass, nothing happened; Then he boasted about his imitation ability and re-creation ability with a smelly mouth, and wanted to sit in a Chinese drama. China people slowly get down and say slowly, "Come on, give me the Japanese mat." ... a brother went to the bathroom and ended up in the ladies' room by mistake. When I went in, I found that there was no urinal, and it felt wrong. Fortunately, there is no one in the ladies' room. He walked out casually. When I was opening the door, I met a mm who came in. Had a face-to-face encounter with him. He blushed and hung his head. He turned and went to the men's room all day. There are too many people on the bus, which is extremely hot and stuffy. I don't know who farted This is a worse environment. My friend can't stand it, and I don't know who it is. I can't help it It happened that the conductor was asking, "Who didn't buy a ticket?" My friend suddenly had a plan and said loudly, "Fart didn't buy a ticket!" " Suddenly, a particularly fat woman, holding the ticket high in her hand, said loudly, "I have bought the ticket!" " A sculpture was completed in the new building of a university: a girl held a book in her left hand and a dove symbolizing peace in her right hand. Publicly soliciting names from off-campus students, many people's slogans coincide-reading is a bird's best! Bicycles in school are lost seriously, and the new ones disappear in the blink of an eye, but sometimes with luck, the lost bicycles will reappear every few days. One day, my roommate Xiao Jing bought a new transmission car. She showed off to everyone and said, "I locked this car with the latest lock!" " The next day, Xiao Jing came back from self-study at night and looked depressed. He still holds a piece of paper in his hand, which reads: Don't be the owner here, I borrowed the car, and I'll pay you back in a few days! A few days later, the thief really returned the car. Xiao Jing is very happy, but she is worried that the car will be "borrowed" again. He bought ten big locks, locked the car tightly, and put a note on the thief: See how you "borrow"! When Xiao Jing went downstairs the next morning, she found five more locks on the car, and there was a note on the lock: See how you ride! There are three little tadpoles. They went to a restaurant for dinner ... After a while, the first course was fried frogs ... Three tadpoles sang in unison: I don't want to grow up ... One day, Cao Cao arrested Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei. Cao Cao said to the three of them: each of you should go to the orchard and choose a fruit. After a while, Zhang Fei took out an apple. Cao Cao said, if they can put the fruit in their ass, let them go. Zhang Fei tried for a while without success and was killed. After a while, Guan Yu came out with three grapes and Cao Cao said the same thing to him. Guan Yu started stuffing things ... when he stuffed the third one, Guan Yu suddenly smiled, and as a result, he smashed the grapes and was killed. After going to the underworld, the prince asked Guan Yu, "You are so stupid, why are you laughing?" "If you don't laugh, you won't die," Guan Yu said with a sigh. I don't want to! Jealous beauty! When I stuffed the third one, I suddenly saw Brother Liu coming out with a durian ... "Yesterday I went to eat KFC. The people behind me looked like a couple. They ordered a lot of dishes and then sat next to me. After sitting down, the girls began to eat hard, as if they were hungry for several days, while the boys chewed French fries one by one, as if they had something on their mind. Suddenly, the boy put down the French fries, leaned down and asked seriously, "Qingqing, can I chase you?" "The girl didn't look up, just said," No! " The boy asked again, "Is it completely impossible?" The girl simply said, "Not at all!" The boy froze, looked at her and stayed there ... At that time, the girl was holding a chicken leg in one hand and a hamburger in the other, thinking that the boy was watching her, so she stopped eating, and then looked at the boy with a bad eye and whispered, "Hmm ... can I still eat?" Everyone around me, including me, laughed out loud. The boy said helplessly, "Eat, eat ..." This MM is so cute ... If I don't let go, I must chase it! ! ! ! I've been fidgeting at school. I taught myself for the first time when I was a freshman. I was so depressed sitting in the classroom that I immediately ran to the aisle to smoke. Not long after I lit a cigarette, a girl from PL came over and asked me, "I'm studying by myself now! How did you get out? " I said, I'm bored to go out and smoke, MM which class are you in? How also ran out. PLMM pointed to our classroom and said, that class! At that time, I was so excited to say, are we in the same class? What, are you depressed? She said: well, a freshman in our class ran out from self-study and I came out to find him. I smiled, it seems that someone still can't sit still. What do you want from him? You're not his mother! MM: I can't help it I'm his head teacher! I was cheated at that time ... A minute later, I choked out a sentence: Teacher, you look so young ... After Phelps won eight gold medals, how did countries compete in breaststroke, backstroke, butterfly and freestyle? 100,200,400, 1500 led to too many gold medals, and they were very dissatisfied and asked to increase the number of gold medals in their advantageous events. Brazil proposed that football should be divided into three players, five players, seven players, 1 1 player, beach, indoor and grass. China proposed to divide table tennis into straight, horizontal, straight doubles, straight singles and straight mixed doubles. Britain proposed that equestrian should be divided into black horse equestrian, white horse equestrian, red horse equestrian, brown horse equestrian, real horse equestrian and zebra equestrian. Kenya proposed that the long-distance running should be divided into 10000m, 1 1000m, 12000m and 13000m. . . Japan proposes that all mixed events should be increased by 3p, 4p, 5p, 6p and 7p. . . Group p. . 500 pence. Thailand proposes to join the shemale group except for men's and women's events. South Korea proposed that if another gold medal is added in the future, it should also be given to South Korea, because all the athletes who won the gold medal were Korean, or their ancestors were Korean.