Powerful funny short messages

Powerful funny text messages

Powerful funny text messages. Speaking of funny text messages, I believe many people have received a lot of them! Funny text messages can make people laugh involuntarily after reading them, and they can also turn a bad mood into a happy one. Below I have compiled powerful and funny short messages for you! Powerful and Funny Short Messages 1

1. Sound the rally call at work, and report blessings from friends. Happy bullets are fired at random, and happy atoms are jumping around. The three auspicious treasures came to visit, and Ruyi Suanpan helped count the money. The happiness building has a solid foundation and the health express will never break down!

Do your best in everything, if you can’t do it, you can’t do it; I send you a greeting text message to relieve you of fatigue; as long as the salary arrives, I shout long live the RMB.

3. Wisdom eyes clear away the haze of troubles. The pressure of work requires a break. Please clean up your irritable mood immediately. I send you words of greetings with sincere friendship. May you always maintain a beautiful mood when you go to work. Happiness never leaves you!

4. Rub your eyes, get up early, squeeze into the car after washing; look at the sky, look at the ground, go to work alone; feel pain in your heart, feel pain in your heart, who knows, who can ask; good friends , friendship is true, I sent you a text message to greet you; smile happily, be happy, and wish you good luck and money.

5. On the first day of resumption of work, the holiday is over; don’t stay in bed anymore and get up early to go to work; remember to have breakfast and be safe on the road; adjust your state and continue to make big money; have fun in the workplace and work Don’t make any difficulties, I hope you will be promoted step by step!

6. When I was in middle school, a classmate moved to his house and invited everyone to have dinner at his house... lots and lots of food. At the dinner table, his mother stood up and said to everyone politely: "You must eat and drink enough. Don't be polite, and don't waste it. Now we have moved to a new house. Anyway, we don't raise pigs at home, so it would be a pity to throw them away.

7. On the first day of work after the holiday, you should adjust your biological clock to ensure a good sleep and eliminate the phobia of going to work. Come to work happily and concentrate on your work. Your colleagues and leaders will applaud you and wish you success in your work. , Make a lot of money!

8. Mr. H and his friend entered a high-end shopping mall. After entering the store, his friend suddenly saw him skating on the smooth marble floor. He was very surprised. .

Asked him, Mr. H pointed to the sign next to him while continuing to skate, and said seriously: "Since you are here, you must abide by the rules here. "The sign said: "Slip carefully."

9. A certain leader went to the countryside for a census and asked an old farmer: Do you know why close relatives cannot get married? The old farmer smiled honestly and replied: Hahaha, Hahaha, the relationship is too familiar to start with.

10. A sculpture was built in a new building of a university: a girl holds a book in her left hand and holds a dove symbolizing peace in her right hand. The sculpture was unveiled outside the school. Collecting names from students, many people’s slogans coincided with each other - reading is useless!

11. There was such a question in a literature exam: explanation of nouns! : Shakespeare (Shakespeare’s honorific title) had a classmate, and he answered like this: Shakespeare, a strange bird.

12. When I was in primary school, there was a text called "Waterfall". In the middle, it was said that the author turned around a mountain and saw a waterfall hanging in the mountain. When one of my female classmates read it aloud, she also read with emotion: When I turned around the mountain, I was shocked to see a rag hanging on the mountain. The whole class was shocked.

13. There was a leak in the faucet in the toilet, and a piece of paper was posted: "It is live, please do not touch it!" "I took the electric test pen to test, and it was indeed charged. I returned to the office and printed out a paper: "Can you pee here? I can! "I started to hear screams in the afternoon, and the screams were still the same the next day.

14. The surgeon and the physician rushed to the elevator, and the elevator was closed. The surgeon stretched his head and sandwiched it between the two doors instead of using his hands. Hold the door open.

"Haven't you ever thought that putting your head in the door is a weird way to stop the elevator?" "Not weird. I have to keep my hand for surgery."

　15. " Is there any secret to why patients are discharged one after another? "Yes! Inflation!" 16. The doctor drew a window on the wall and said, "Who can get out of this window?" I'll let him out." The mentally ill people scrambled. But there was a patient who didn't move, and the doctor said: "Why don't you go over there?" The patient said in a low voice: "I'm afraid, this is the sixth floor!"

17. The repairman was called to the doctor's house Repairing a TV, he found that his TV had been used for ten years and was already dilapidated. The doctor said in a humorous tone: "Please write a prescription." The repairman looked at the TV silently for a while, and then replied: "I I can only write an autopsy report.”

18. “Doctor, is there any way to cure gray hair?” “The cure for gray hair is complete baldness.”

19. A: The doctor said I could only live for another six months, so I said I planned not to pay the medical bills. B: How did the doctor react? A: He said he would give me three more months to live.

20. Woman: Doctor, my weight has exceeded 90 kilograms. What should I do? Doctor: It's a very simple head movement, from left to right, then right to left. Woman: How many times a day do you do it? Doctor: Not necessarily. Whenever someone asks you to eat, you do this exercise until that person leaves.

21. "Please open your mouth." "Thank you, doctor!" "Why are you thanking me?" "Because my husband always tells me to shut up!"

22. The patient suffered from insomnia again. "Did you seriously follow my suggestion and imagine that you are somewhere in the south, on the beach, with the water hitting the shore in waves?" "Yes, absolutely." "Well, then why do you Can’t sleep yet?” “Because of those beauties wearing bikinis on the beach!”

23. “You are weak, so you should eat more iron.” I have no teeth, and I can’t eat anything hard. I can’t accept your advice.”

24. Patient: Doctor, my wife is spying on me and my secretary for no reason. I'm restless. Psychologist: What does your wife do? Patient: She was my former secretary before we got married.

25. "Seeing your brave performance today, we unanimously agree that you have recovered and can be discharged from the hospital. Congratulations!!" The mentally ill person said: "I am indeed not sick!! Because I later treated me The man who was rescued in the bathtub was hung up with a rope and let dry in the clothes drying yard in the backyard! ”

26. A doctor wanted to test whether his little patient knew his own body! After naming the parts, he pointed to the little guy's ears and asked, "Is this your nose?" The little guy immediately turned to his mother and said, "I think we need to find another doctor."

27. When the devil is patting the glass in front of your window, the toad is getting into your bed, the poisonous snake is rippling above your head, and the earthworm is crawling under your toes, don’t be afraid, I am driving a snail. Save you, drive! drive! shelf!

28. Children are innocent... In junior high school, a boy wanted to copy a girl's homework. He was afraid that she would not agree, so he went through her schoolbag after she left the classroom, and found a sanitary napkin. Surprised and said: "Wow! What a big Band-Aid!"

29. I told my mother that I like you and I want you to go to my house and stay with me day and night, you know Through these days of interaction, I discovered that I can no longer live without you! But my mother refused. She said that pigs were not allowed in the house.

30. Do you believe in fate? You are so special in the vast sea of ??people, and my eyes follow you stubbornly. Maybe our hearts can really connect, and you are really coming to me! ——Go away! You beggar, I just gave you 50 cents!

31. I am a bean, I have fallen down, I am discouraged and depressed, what can encourage me to stand up? The answer is you! Because there is something called "Pig Encouragement Beans"

32. Let me tell you a story. It is about: A 爗倥仡闶窳獍 was holding a hairpin and was waiting for it, and suddenly he was 喾嘏袢聁. Zi was so proud that he died. The name of this story is "It's terrible to be uneducated".

33. I heard that you took out the garbage in the morning and accidentally fell into the garbage pit. You couldn't get out. A shabby old man happened to come over. He stretched out his hand to pull you up and said: People in the city are really stupid. What a waste, throwing away such a smelly woman!

34. I admit that I can’t catch up with you, there are so many people chasing you! Alas, I definitely have no hope. Some things cannot be forced. Forget it, give the opportunity to others. Anyway, whoever catches you will do harm to the people. If you still run, you are a dead rat.

35. Are you busy? It's okay, I just want to tell you in a way that doesn't disturb you, I'm thinking of you! I hope that when you receive this text message, you will smile at the corner of your mouth, arch your nose, and hum twice to let other pigs know that the owner likes you the most!

36. Have you eaten? Please receive text message. The elephant defecated in the middle of the road. An ant happened to be passing by. It looked up at the mist-shrouded peak and couldn't help but sing: Ya La Suo, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau!

37. I haven’t received your text message for a long time. I wonder how you are now? I passed by your place a few days ago and went in to take a look. I saw you were asleep and couldn't bear to wake you up. Hey, out of a litter of piglets, you are the only one who is good!

38. If I were a fox and you were a hunter, would you chase me? If I were tea leaves and you were boiling water, would you brew me? If I were a car and you were the driver, would you drive me? If you were the money and I was the bankbook, I would definitely withdraw it from you.

39. Have you heard of it? Five hundred times of looking back in the past life are only exchanged for one brush with each other in this life. For close friends like you and me, it seems that we didn’t do anything in our previous lives except to look back!

40. There is a child crying, and his father said: Be good, stop crying. Later, your father will take you to the vegetable market to watch others eating sweets. Powerful Funny Short Messages 2

1. One day, there was a meeting in the Dragon Palace. Prime Minister Turtle took something out of his arms, looked at it and put it back. The Dragon King asked what it was looking at. It makes no sound. The soldiers and crab generals were whispering to the side: "The old bastard got a text message again!"

2. A passenger plane caught fire and was about to crash. A male passenger grabbed a parachute and was about to jump out of the plane. A gentleman said: Hello! There are women on the plane! Male passenger: There’s no time for that kind of thing now!

3. When someone went to the laboratory department, the nurse pointed to a sign in front and said: Non-undergraduate students are not allowed to enter. The visitor was furious and cursed: I'll just do a urine test, and I still want a fucking undergraduate degree

4. There was a girl passing by a fortune-telling stall in Hong Kong. The fortune teller grabbed the girl and said to him, "You have a bad omen and it will be bad for you." The girl said, "If it doesn't work, just take it off and it will be fine." After saying that, he turned to leave. The fortune teller said to the girl again: "Even if you escape, you can't escape the two big waves in life."

5. What is the name of Muhammad Ali’s father? Alibaba.

6. If you receive this message, you like me. If you delete it, you have a crush on me. If you reply to this message, you want to marry me. If you don’t reply, you will agree to marry me. If you modify it, you will die. You are all mine. , if you save it, it will belong to me in the next life! Just figure it out!

7. I dreamed of you last night: we were walking by the river, clinging to each other. You looked up into my eyes and uttered three words affectionately... woof woof woof.

8. Dear user, at this time we have deducted 20 yuan from your phone bill and dedicated it to the cause of Palestinian national liberation. For this reason, the Palestinian autonomous government has decided to award you a lofty title in the name of the entire Arab world. :Book.

Shalebacki!

9. Plug in the mobile phone and send the message. Please do not forward the text message you have written. Best wishes for good health, and add a special sentence: "Don't worry, be more happy, be less sad, and always smile in the new year!" May you live a long life for thousands of years!

10. I won’t accept gifts during the holidays this year, but you can actually give some. Ten or eighty yuan is not a problem, one hundred and eighty thousand is enough. If you really don’t have to send it, a text message will do. Happy New Year!

11. I discovered a strange phenomenon. People who often send me text messages, especially those who send Spring Festival greetings, soon do the following things: Winning the lottery, successful business negotiations, success in career, promotion and wealth, feeling comfortable, family harmony, good health, everything goes as planned, love successful, New Year is coming, I am here to remind you.

12. In fact, there are some things that we just need to understand each other, but the New Year is here, and I have to explain it... Where is my red envelope?

13. I usually tell you not to mess around, but you still don’t obey. Now, there is a group of people asking about you, and they say they won’t let you off lightly if they catch you.

One of them is called the God of Wealth, one is called Success, one is called Happy, and the leader is called Happiness! Moreover, I asked about the worry, and it didn’t love you at all. It also said that it would never pay attention to you. Let me tell you, don’t be sentimental. And Health asked me to bring you a letter. It has been secretly in love with you for a long time and will never change it throughout its life! Happy New Year!

14. Sisters, I wish you all a happy New Year. In the New Year, find a boyfriend who is like EXCEL - hide if you want, filter if you want, delete if you want, if one is unhappy, hey, I won't save it yet.

15. ·The New Year is approaching. For the sake of the earth's environment and resources, please reduce the purchase of traditional paper greeting cards. You can fill in the congratulatory message with a pencil on the large-denomination RMB and send it to me! Thank you for your support of environmental protection! I wish you happiness!

16.·Have a prosperous New Year! May you be more popular than the Virgin Mary, be rich enough to be the mother of Bill Gates, be more heroic than Saddam Hussein, be as handsome as David Beckham, and be the international superman!

17. I express my sincere blessings to you with the warmth of boiled mutton, the enthusiasm of boiled fish, the deliciousness of boiled shrimp, the sweetness of sweet-sour pork, the breadth of pulling slivers, and the breadth of dough bread. I wish you happiness and joy in the new year!

18. The Spring Festival is here and I would like to send you my greetings in Japanese: You have to wash the pots, you have to wash the bowls, you have to wash both the pots and the bowls! Chinese translation: Happy holidays! Happy every day! ^^

19. Let my blessing cross the mountains, pass the smelly ditch, pass the traffic light, jump over the main road and run through the alley, dodge the old lady selling popsicles, and get into you. In the ears: Happy Chinese New Year!

20. The earth is round, sugar cane is sweet, my text message cost a dime, wishing you a happy Spring Festival is not just a joke, my heart is real, forwarding it is very important. Efficacious, this is definitely scientifically proven and recommended by experts!

21. Friendship is like fragrant rice, hot shabu-shabu, and spicy Erguotou.

Are you greedy again? Let’s have a cup during the Spring Festival!

22. Don’t say I’m ruthless. Anyway, I sent a ten-cent text message. I didn’t hesitate to waste battery power and risk my life by electromagnetic wave radiation. I didn’t consider the consequences just to give it to you. Happy New Year! Happy New Year!

23. Come to New Year with blessings. May you make more money in the New Year and have good luck and happy events. Celebrate the New Year with happiness. May you be rich and prosperous, not tired at work, and live an intoxicating life. Sincerely. I wish you a happy New Year and all the best!

24. I hope you will be as happy as a teapot on the stove every day. Although your butt is burning hot, you are still whistling happily and making little bubbles of happiness! Wish you a happy new year and may all your wishes come true! Hey!

25. I told you more than once not to work like this and to take care of your health, but you always said meaningfully: If I don’t roll a few more dung balls during the Spring Festival, what will I eat next year? Don’t tire yourself out, and I wish you a happy New Year!

26. I generally don’t send text messages to people easily. The person who receives my text message must be someone who is in trouble or suffering from each other, so I kowtow three times and say long live my life three times. ! It’s the New Year, I wish you a Happy New Year, nothing else, I just miss you, please step aside!

27. It’s Chinese New Year, and I’ll give you a couplet! First line: Eat when you should, drink when you should, don’t take it to heart when something happens. Second line: Taking a bath, looking at the watch, feeling comfortable every second. Hengpi: Just be happy!

28. My love for you is brighter than Sima! My love for you is brighter than Zhuge! My heart for you is longer than Guan Yun! There is no need to say more about what I mean to you! A simple sentence: Happy New Year's Day, Happy New Year!

29. A professional who is hungry is called losing weight, a professional who pinches people is called massage, a professional who is in a daze is called deepness, a professional who is shameless is called persistence, and a professional who insists on sending you text messages is called a friend! Happy New Year!

30. The prices of radish and cabbage have increased, but the SMS charges remain the same. It’s Chinese New Year. If I didn’t send you a message, I’d look stingy. A text message can't buy half a carrot, but I can learn from the sun and the moon!

31. Happy New Year to you! One bow to the heaven and earth, the heaven and earth are dark and yellow, and the earth will last forever; the two bows to the God of Wealth, the day will make money, and the career will be prosperous; the third bow to the lucky star, Tiangang Beidou, blessings will fall from the sky; the fourth bow to the whole family, family reunion, happiness, longevity and health!

32. Love and hate year after year, fate; you give me one, thank you; live a beautiful day, philosophy; take two steps to get two steps closer, be happy! Heaven, earth, please Angel Auntie, wish you a happy Spring Festival and may your whole family be happy for me!

33. During the Spring Festival, I give you three things: food, drink, and friends; I also give you three things: no disease, no pain, and no worries; and then I give you three feelings: family, love, and friendship; Finally, I will give you three pieces of music. You will have fun, I will have fun with everyone.

34. In the new year, I will make arrangements for your work: focus on health, insist on grasping wealth with one hand, and happiness with the other. Both hands must be strong. And always be happy, always exercise, always content, always relax, and always stay connected!

35. The New Year is here, I treat you to a fruit feast. I wish you: apricots, apples, happiness, oranges, peach blossoms, and plum blossoms. , I thought that "Persimmon" would be successful, "Pear" would be happy at home, and "Pear" would be too light on benevolence and righteousness!

36. If you are alone now, I wish you a Happy New Year; if you are two people, then also Happy New Year; if you are a group of people, please tell me where you are.

37. Smile is fire, happiness is pot, blessing is ribs. May the smiling fire light the happy pot and cook the ribs of blessings, and may the fragrance of blessings float to you who are always happy... Happy Spring Festival.

38. Attention everyone: I am going to go in the old year. There are many festivals. To promote environmental protection, do not send greeting cards. To prevent radiation, do not make phone calls. To save money, do not send text messages. Please send me RMB. That's it. Happy Chinese New Year in advance.

39. The husband said to his wife: Last Valentine’s Day I gave you flowers, but you said they were too wasteful and not affordable. This Valentine’s Day, I will accompany you to a fashion store? The wife thought she was buying clothes, so she smiled and nodded.

The husband then said: Go for a walk and lose weight!

40. Female: As long as you stop drinking, I will promise you anything. Man: OK, I won’t drink anymore. Woman: Very good. What do you want to promise? Man: Let me have a drink, wife!