This summer

I wanted to record this special day with both pictures and text. Starting from the summer of June 2018, I would like to commemorate every bit of the last time I had with my father. I chose. I would like to express my gratitude to those relatives and friends... I also feel the purest and truest feelings in hospitals, intensive wards, and the most miserable places in the world during this period...

I am still persistent. For him, I will do it again. , I started.

June 14th. My father went to Changhai Hospital for a PET CT scan because he failed to pass all the indicators in the blood test.

June 17th. On Father's Day, the whole family reunited at my house and ate Xiabuxiabu hot pot. My father was not in good spirits, his face was a little pale, and his appetite was average.

June 19th. I made an appointment with my mother, sister and I to go to Changhai Hospital in the afternoon to get the CT report. After parking the car and crossing the road to the hospital, it suddenly rained heavily. When we arrived at the imaging building, the three of us were soaked to the skin. The results of the report are extremely bad, and the spread is everywhere. At that time, I went to see expert Fu Qiang, and he said that basically we could only count down the life span by weeks. Doctors love outrageous exaggerations. I thought 159 might be able to save my father. After returning home, we did not inform him of his true condition and dismissed it as intestinal obstruction.

June 20th. Heavy rain in the morning. My father had a strong reaction due to two meals of 159 the night before. He suffered from vomiting and diarrhea. In the morning, he had no strength in his legs. He fell down at home and knocked his head open. My mother called 120 and sent my father to Changhai Hospital for emergency treatment and suturing of the wound. In the morning, my mother, sister, and Weiwei accompanied my father. Duoduo and I arrived at the hospital after noon. We called the specialist clinic again, and the result was the same as what Fu Qiang said the day before: no treatment was needed, and there was no law. That night, my sister spent the night with her father in the emergency room of Changhai Hospital.

June 21st. In the afternoon, I went to Yangpu District Traditional Chinese Medicine Hospital for hospitalization. In the evening, the nurse called and said that my father was very upset.

June 22nd. My mother spends all day with my father. My sister and I went there in the afternoon. There is a foot bath in the traditional Chinese medicine hospital. I hugged my real father and clung to him closely.

My father’s blood test indicators in the traditional Chinese medicine hospital worsened.

June 23. I'm with you around the clock. Several friends came to visit my father: Xiaowei, Jianhua, Jinmei, and Tonton.

June 24th. My sister stays with me all day. My mother and I bought a shroud in Jiangwan Town. I started using overnight caregivers.

June 25th. Mom will accompany you all day. The first time I took albumin and thymic titanium.

June 26th. I escort. QQ Music plays "Supreme Love" on a loop, and my father said it was sung by a black man named Houston. In the afternoon, Ronaldinho helped his father take a bath and hair for the last time.

June 27th. My sister escorts me. I got off work early and went to the hospital. A Hai came to visit his father in the evening.

June 28th. I'm with you around the clock. In the morning, Uncle Xiaoyong and Aunt Xiazhi came to visit. At around 10 o'clock, Mr. Zou came, and his father chatted with him about business beside the hospital bed, as long as he temporarily forgot about his illness. I took a diuretic injection in the afternoon, but there was an emergency situation of not urinating, and the traditional Chinese medicine doctor couldn't insert a catheter. I hurriedly contacted Dr. Aihua, and found Fang Wei in the emergency department and successfully catheterized him. I'm a little tired this day.

June 29th and 30th. Mom and sister will accompany each other, no special circumstances. I was at home on Saturday and thanked Dr. Aihua via WeChat.

July 1st. I escort. Xiaowei and Jianhua came to visit for the second time, bringing a watermelon they picked themselves.

July 2nd. Mom will accompany you. As soon as my uncle and aunt came back from the United States, they came to visit my father.

July 3rd. I escort. I told my father that day that my sister would not be with me the next day and would attend the memorial service of Yang Jun. Yang Jun died young, hoping that my father could face things he didn't want to face.

July 4th. Mom escorts me on behalf of my sister. The second time I bought protein and thymus titanium. Uncle Ji Zhi and Aunt Jin Ping came to visit. My father was very happy and asked me to treat them to a meal. In fact, we were not in the mood. After leaving the hospital, we took them to the subway entrance and parted ways.

July 5th. Mom escorts. In the afternoon, Dr. Aihua came to visit his father and contacted Wang Hui. He was transferred to Yang Center for hospitalization on the 9th.

July 6th. My sister accompanied me, and the first bed old man was discharged from the hospital. The Buddhist chanting machine my sister bought from the Ten Thousand Buddhas Pavilion was placed beside my father's bed, and it never stopped playing.

July 7th. I escort. Uncle Hu was discharged from the second bed. One day when my father and I were alone, I gave him the moxibustion that Zhang Ying gave me. That night, I didn't go home. My father would call me unconsciously every half hour, and I would go to the bedside and hold his hand. He would blame me for why he came to him as soon as he turned over, and he let me sleep in the recliner. In fact, the middle of the night was the most painful time for him, but he always shook his head and denied that he felt uncomfortable, but his brows were furrowed and did not loosen. I see it in my heart, I put it in my heart, and there is nothing I can do. In the early morning, after he fell asleep peacefully, I went home.

July 8th. Sister escort. I cooked porridge and sent it to the hospital.

July 9th. I first looked for the admission certificate from Epworth Kaiyang Center. My mother and sister went through the discharge procedures from the Traditional Chinese Medicine Hospital. Proceed separately. Mom will accompany me in the afternoon. I went to work in the afternoon and didn't pick up my mother. My father was worried on the phone and asked me why he didn't pick up my mother and go home with me. I chagrin myself.

July 10th. Mom escorts.

July 11th. Sister escort. Uncle Ji Zhi came to visit us for the second time. He was old, hot and far away, so we had no choice but to let him come, but he came again. His father regained his energy and chatted with him. He was so happy that he wanted to treat his uncle to Cantonese food. In a daze, he couldn't remember where he was, so he specified that the meal would be at Xinya or Xinghualou.

July 12th. I escort. My mother and sister visited two nursing homes.

July 13th. Sister escort. I got off work early, picked up my mother and went to the hospital to see my father.

July 14th. I escort. My father began to spend more time sleeping. If there is no pain, it is also auspicious.

July 15th. Sister escort. My mother and I visited Linfen Road Hospice again, and then visited my father.

July 16th. Mother escorts. My father still didn't know his illness. He just felt very sick. He had never been so serious before and his body was weak. In the afternoon, the three of us sat in front of his bedside and told him that he was indeed seriously ill and might not be able to see well. We mentioned the word death for the first time.

July 17th. I escort. After eating wonton stew downstairs at noon, my brother came too. The two of us stayed by the hospital bed. My father woke up and said clearly: Is it better to go back? His tone and eyes were full of pleading. Classmate Yu Xin told me before that he must fulfill his father’s last wish. In the evening, a family meeting was held at my house, and we agreed to give up treatment for one day and asked for leave to be discharged from the hospital on the 18th.

July 18th. Mom is waiting at home. I first went to the hospital and asked the doctor for leave, but because of the first-level care, I couldn't ask for leave and had to be discharged. The ambulance has arrived at 9:00 96120 and we have no choice but to leave the hospital and go home. I followed the ambulance. There was no treatment at home, but I felt a little at ease. My father would be more at ease at home. Arrive home and settle down. The caregiver has also arrived home. I walked to Jiangwan Town to pick up the shroud and went home. I was exposed to the sun and my back felt relaxed. I understood that some karma was melting away. In the afternoon, I went to the hospital to complete the discharge procedures that I had not had time to complete in the morning. At dusk, my father felt sad again. I first went to Yueyang Hospital to get painkillers and diazepam, but failed, so I went to Yongmei's house to get them. When I left her house, my car ran out of gas. I filled it up near her house and got home around 7 o'clock. My father was in unbearable pain. With my father's consent, we went to the Jiangwan Hospital closest to home for rescue. That night, we sat in front of the emergency room. Hai Rui went to Jianhua to get a dharani quilt for his father. What should he do for his father? Jianhua gave me the phone number of the Lotus prayer group and asked the family members to contact him. I had heard about aiding in chanting, so I immediately made a call to all the senior brothers. Two senior brothers, Jiang and Chen, came that night and brought a four-character chanting machine and a statue of Amitabha. They read their father's instructions: Uncle Shi, recite Amitabha with all your heart, and follow the recitation machine. If you have Yangshou, your condition will get better; if you don’t have Yangshou, please ask Amitabha to lead you to the best place of perfection, where there will never be a cycle of pain...

July 19th. I got home early in the morning and slept for 2 hours. The phone rang. The second batch of lotus friends from the Lotus Group had arrived, and I rushed over again. My father is still sleeping.

There was an old man accompanying the old lady in the emergency ward. He just sat on the edge of the bed, planning to sit all day and all night. Later I found out that he was 96 years old and the old lady was 94 years old. I couldn't help feeling warm in my heart and admired the true love. Ashamed. That night, my sister and Wei stayed with me all night.

July 20th. With the help of Teacher Ge, my mother arranged for my father to enter the ward. Room for 6 people, slightly noisy. After experiencing this these days, I understand that everything is fate and I don’t care about it anymore. Brother Jiang and Chen came to teach for the second time. After hearing this, my father smiled broadly, raised his thumbs, and clasped his hands. I was very pleased.

July 21st. The bed doctor was very dedicated and insisted on CT scan and gastric tube insertion. As a result, a CT scan was performed. Because I was afraid that my father would be upset, I cried and refused to insert the gastric tube, and she gave up. Another heavy rain came in the evening.

July 22nd. heavy rain. My father was gasping for air at noon, and my sister’s whole family also came. Xiaowei Jianhua came to visit us for the third time, and her clothes were soaked through. Aunt Xiaowei even peeled peaches for us to eat, saying that we worked hard. Gratitude wells up in my heart.

July 23rd. Mom arrived at the hospital first. I arrived later. It happened that there was a shaving and pedicure master in the hospital, so I stopped him and helped my father do a full set of treatments. At night, my father developed tidal breathing. Brother Chen came over to teach us how to open the top of the head to commemorate the memorial, leaving behind the buckle chime. My sister and Wei stayed with me all night, and the air conditioning in the ward was very cold.

July 24th. I escort. There is no legendary bad smell when a new patient arrives. At noon, I rested on the balcony outside the ward, enjoying the heat. Sister Ding sat across from me, chatting about our own heartaches... This seemingly vulgar woman raised her hand to wipe away my tears and told me to let go and take care of myself. In fact, she is so delicate and kind. It turns out that I have a bad habit of looking at people that I don’t like.

July 25th. Father's hands are cold. The blood pressure started to be bad, but then got better after noon. I went to work after going to the hospital. The company had a lot of backlogs, so I got off work very late and did not go back to the hospital.

July 26th. I received a call from nurse Sun Xiaoqing at 5:15 in the morning. I hurried out of the house and entered the ward at 5:45. Xiaoqing said that your father is gone. He left at 5:40. I picked up the buckle and started chasing the top. The hearse was heading west steadily in the inner ring, which seemed familiar to the dream of the day before.

From June 20th to July 26th, we accompanied him in his short final days. Weiwei asked, why should Da Da suffer? I think it is necessary to settle the debt, have a destiny with everything in the past life, make a perfect reconciliation, and then leave without any ties. After the process of bathing in fire, the phoenix rises to nirvana.

July 26th. In the Furong Hall of Longhua Funeral Home, the Lotus Memorial Team will provide memorial services throughout the day.

July 27th. Help with chanting during the day.

July 28th. Among the flowers, he said goodbye to all of us; he said goodbye to this world. He seemed to be leaping up towards the west, the direction of bliss where he should go, happily rushing towards the agreement with the Buddha. To this day, the praise of "Amitabha" will ring in my ears from time to time, floating from the sky and coming from other places, and I will immediately echo it, always lasting.

August 5th. I participated in the Lotus Group's first day of spiritual practice. The theme was life care: worldly care is not ultimately perfect, but transcendental care is ultimately perfect on the basis of worldly care. After listening to the Brahma Net Sutra, if you are a disciple of the Buddha, you should always make offerings to the Buddha when you see people who are sick... If you can look at a helpless patient, it is the same as looking at the Buddha in person... I am secretly glad that I also use The softest eyes looked at his father when he was most helpless. Amitabha!

August 8th. The first time I recited the Diamond Sutra, I was in my father's room, sitting on the edge of the bed, reciting it intermittently, and I was very tired. I got the "Heart Sutra", "Disciple Rules" and "Zhu Xi Family Instructions" copied by Uncle Ji Zhi to the three of us. The dignified and beautiful words reveal infinite care.

August 15th. The second time I recited the Diamond Sutra, I was in the office. I sat down and recited it at first, then I went to the balcony and turned slightly to the west. Although I didn’t understand it, I was filled with joy. It was the fourth week of my vegetarian diet. At a certain moment in the morning, I experienced the relaxed feeling of a light and empty body, a boundless body. After getting off work, I went to Changyang Valley and passed by Meizhou Road. I was filled with emotions. I had never known this road before, but it was so destined. There were drifting clouds in the dusk sky. I couldn't help but slow down the car and turn on the camera.

Yun'er seems to be saying: The sky can't leave any trace of me, but I have flown by. It is a mission but not a mission, it is a Tathagata but not a Tathagata.

August 16th. Xiaobao came to the company at noon and gave me a picture of words, which were all about the elegant names of food, intended to make me happy. His back is so similar to my father's, I should treat him like a brother.

August 17th. Another typhoon. In this different summer, the wind and rain are fierce and we visit frequently. Turn on Bluetooth and find Lin Yilian's version of my dearest, ringing in your ears: Please rest assured, I have become stronger. I have loved you and I am not afraid of being alone. I have learned your favorite cheerfulness... which is also my father's expectation for me. , I don’t live up to it. My dearest, fortunately, there is still a treasure in this world that I can be filial to. I will spare no effort and try not to leave any regrets.

August 22nd. It was my first time to help commemorate a deceased person, a 94-year-old man. Seeing that I was an unfamiliar face, the senior brother holding the chime asked me kindly: Are you afraid? I shook my head without hesitation. All living beings are me, and I am all living beings, there is no distinction.

August 23rd. End of summer heat. "If you don't love deeply, you won't be a saha." I came across this sentence by chance while waiting for the elevator today. I finally understood why he didn't wait until we arrived before leaving that day; I also understood why I was unexpectedly calm and determined at that time. He protected each other with more ruthlessness than emotion and bid farewell to this life.

Thank you for everyone’s help and send it to your relatives and friends!

Thanks to Gaode Map!

Thanks for the iPhone!