Please give Cao Yunjin and Liu Yuntian's lines for the crosstalk "Guessing Lantern Riddles" of the 2012 Central Lantern Festival Gala

"Guessing Lantern Riddles"

Cao: Audience friends, crosstalk actor Cao Yunjin

Liu: Liu Yuntian

Cao and Liu: Give Happy New Year to you.

Cao: I feel very excited when I stand on the stage.

Liu: Beautiful

Cao: There is an old saying in China

Liu: Ah

Cao: It’s not out of the first month. They are all in the same year

Liu: Yes

Cao: Today is a good day

Liu: Huh?

Cao: Lantern Festival

Liu: Yes

Cao: The Lantern Festival is great

Liu: Yeah

Cao: Three things must be done for family reunion

Liu: What is it?

Cao: Appreciating the moon

Liu: Yes (agree)

Cao: Eating Yuanxiao

Liu: Oh (agree)

Cao: Look at the lanterns

Liu: That’s right

Cao: The Lantern Festival is also called the Lantern Festival

Liu: Yes (agree) )

Cao: The most interesting thing is guessing lantern riddles

Liu: Just guessing riddles

Cao: This riddle is my favorite

Liu: Oh (expressing surprise)

Cao: My guess is good

Liu: Really?

Cao: Not everyone can guess this riddle

Liu: Oh

Cao: First of all, you must have a certain cultural background

p>

Liu: Of course

Cao: There are a lot of things to know

Liu: Oh

Cao: I’m an easy learner

Liu: Really?

Cao: Well-educated

Liu: Ouch! ?

Cao: Usually I am easy to learn

Liu: Yeah

Cao: A little bit talented

Liu: What little talent do you have? ah?

Cao: Looking at the astronomy

Liu: Oh

Cao: Looking at the geography

Liu: Yeah

Cao: Zhongxiao Renhe

Liu: Oh?

Cao: Such ability

Liu: Ah

Cao: I don’t have it

Liu: Eh. Without you, why would you say it?

Cao: I have a little ability

Liu: What a little ability

Cao: I can look at monuments and recognize groups by sight Sheep

Liu: Oh, just brag, it’s not you who’s talking about you

Cao: It’s you who’s talking about you?

Liu: Not me either. I'm talking about Su Qin, Su Jizi.

Cao: You know

Liu: He can observe monuments at a glance. He was riding a high-speed horse and galloping on the road. He saw a stone tablet beside the road. He took a look at the inscription of more than ten lines and memorized it. This is called watching the tablet while walking on horseback.

Cao: This is called playing

Liu: Playing?

Cao: I am Cao Yunjin

Liu: Ah

Cao: Take a train to view the monument

Liu: Oops!

Cao: Which is faster, the horse or the train?

Liu: Which train is faster?

Cao: From Beijing to Tianjin

Liu: Hmm

p>

Cao: Harmony, intercity train

Liu: Yeah

Cao: More than a hundred kilometers away

Liu: Yes

Cao: Thirty minutes, that’s fast enough

Liu: That’s fast enough

Cao: Do ??this monument viewing

Liu: Yeah

Cao: Buy a ticket

Liu: Yes

Cao: By the window

Liu: Why are you still leaning by the window?

Cao: It’s convenient for me to read the inscription

Liu: Look at this

Cao: The train is running at high speed

Liu: Yes< /p>

Cao: There is a stone tablet beside the road

Liu: Oh

Cao: The train passed by

Liu: Yeah

p>

Cao: I have memorized the inscription. I know it by heart.

Liu: What did it say?

Cao: Langfang

Liu: Eh

Cao: Memorize it like a stream, guard against wolves

Liu: Hey, stop it, who can’t see the sign at that station?

Cao: I’m kidding you

Liu: No kidding

Cao: Not only can I look at monuments

Liu: Yes

Cao: I can also recognize sheep

>

Liu: That was also Su Qin. Su Jizi was walking at the foot of the mountain and saw more than a dozen sheep on the hillside. At a glance, he could tell how many were black and how many were white. Are you okay?

Cao: This is called playing

Liu: Is it playing again?

Cao: I, Cao Yunjin, went to the mountainous area that day

Liu: Oh

Cao: Walking at the foot of the mountain

Liu: Oh< /p>

Cao: There are dozens of sheep on the hillside

Liu: Quite a few

Cao: I can tell how many are black and how many are white at a glance< /p>

Liu: How many black ones and how many white ones?

Cao: There are no black ones, they are all white

Liu: Hey, okay, do you still need to look at them?

Cao: Well-educated

Liu: Really?

Cao: Knowledgeable

Liu: Yes

Cao: This is the first point

Liu: Yes

< p>Cao: If you want to guess the answer to the lantern riddle

Liu: Yeah

Cao: You have to have a quick brain

Liu: Oh, you have a good brain Flexible

Cao: I can guess the lantern riddles just fine

Liu: Really?

Cao: He has a quick mind

Liu: Oh

Cao: Better than all the cross talk actors like them

Liu: Just brag Bar

Cao: He can’t do it, his brain is too slow

Liu: I say that’s not necessarily the case, I’m definitely better than you

Cao: You’re not making excuses< /p>

Liu: If you don’t believe me, you can take the test

Cao: Shall I roast you?

Liu: Take the test

Cao: There is no such a big stove

Liu: Barbecue? ! Questions and tests

Cao: Test?

Liu: Yes

Cao: Sure. We are competing here, but we can’t guess the old lantern riddles

Liu: Guess something new

Cao: It must be new

Liu: Okay

Cao: OK?

Liu: No problem

Cao: Brain twisting

Liu: I'm still alive

Cao: Intelligence test

Liu: Let’s come again

Cao: Yes

Liu: OK

Cao: OK

Liu: Yeah

Cao: Let’s compare

Liu: OK

Cao: Let me tell you a guess

Liu: No problem

Cao: Okay.

Please listen to the question

Liu: You said

Cao: No.1

Liu: Hum, some English

Cao : Say, what is it

Liu: Hmm

Cao: Guess

Liu: Eh. (Pause) How can I guess this thing? What do I know?

Cao: Do ??you dare to compare with others?

Liu: No, your question is ridiculous

Cao: I asked you to pay attention

Liu: Am I listening?

< p>Cao: Pay attention

Liu: Pay attention

Cao: Say, what is it

Liu: Huh?

Cao: What is it

Liu: Yes

Cao: What is it (the tone becomes stronger each time) What is it

Liu : What are you doing? I said what's wrong with you?

Cao: I asked you to pay attention

Liu: Are you listening?

Cao: What is it

Liu: Hmm

Cao: The bundle ran away, but the bundle fell down. Everyone can help him guess. This thing ran away after being tied up and fell over after being untied.

Liu: Then you can’t guess this

Cao: You can’t guess?

Liu: Yeah

Cao: It doesn’t matter if you can’t guess

Liu: Ah

Cao: Let me give you a hint

< p>Liu: Just a reminder

Cao: Guess an animal

Liu: This one is still alive

Cao: Alas

< p>Liu: I don’t know

Cao: Human

Liu: How is this human?

Cao: What do you think?

Liu: Yeah

Cao: This man got up in the morning, tied up his trousers and ran away; when he came back in the evening, he put on his trousers. The belt was untied and fell down

Liu: Hi (that’s what it is)

Cao: Thank you, thank you all

Liu: What’s wrong with this< /p>

Cao: This is a high-tech question

Liu: This is nonsense

Cao: Even six university professors couldn’t guess it

Liu: Okay

Cao: Just tell me and you won’t be able to guess it

Liu: Oops

Cao: Listen to this

Liu: And also

Cao: Mathematics questions

Liu: I like mathematics the most

Cao: OK?

Liu: Of course

Cao: Ask you

Liu: Yes

Cao: How many wheels does the car have?

Liu: Four

Cao: What, the kids will tell you, five

Liu: Five?

Cao: There is also a spare tire

Liu: The spare tire also counts

Cao: How many wheels does the car have?

Liu: Those five

Cao: The five stirrups were open and running. One of the stirrups fell off after crossing a big ditch. How many are left?

Liu: There are four left< /p>

Cao: There are five left

Liu: Why?

Cao: The windlass did not fall, but one of the lamps fell off

Liu: One of the lamps fell off, what kind of question is this? I mean this

Cao: You can't guess it

Liu: You can't guess it

Cao: You can't even guess eight hundred

Liu: This question is not good for you

Cao: To prove, to prove that your intelligence is not as good as mine

Liu: Yes

Cao: It’s like this today, let’s do something here. How is the game?

Liu: Oh, here comes the game again

Cao: OK?

Liu: Yes

Cao: Stretch out your left hand and spread your fingers. Yo, this can really be separated.

Liu: Nonsense, they are inseparable. That's a duck

Cao: Stretch out your right index finger and make repeated movements between the five fingers

Liu: That's it?

Cao: Look

Liu: Hum

Liu: No problem

Cao: Is it easy?

Liu: It’s too simple

Cao: Not simple

Liu: What’s the matter?

Cao: We have a topic here

Liu: What topic?

Cao: This is called dual-purpose

Liu: How can you do both?

Cao: You are doing this kind of exercise with your hands

Liu: Yeah

Cao: Let me ask you a question

Liu: Yeah

Cao: Don’t mess with your hands and don’t make mistakes with your mouth

Liu: No problem

Cao: OK?

Liu: Let’s do it

Cao: Can we start?

Liu: Okay, ok

Cao: What’s your surname

Liu: My surname is Liu

Cao: What’s your name

p>

Liu: Liu Yuntian

Cao: How old are you?

Liu: Twenty-eight

Cao: What is it?

Liu: She is a Pig

Cao: How is your physical condition?

Liu: In good health

Cao: Are you sick?

Liu: No

Cao: It’s okay, you can punch it

Liu: Hey, didn’t you ask me to punch it?

Cao: Just do it if I ask you to do it?

Liu: Why are you like this?

Cao: This is enough to prove that his brain is not as fast as mine.

Sir, let me ask you

Liu: You said

Cao: You see, these crosstalk actors know a lot

Liu: Yes

Cao: Good at observing life

Liu: Of course

Cao: Then let me ask you which animal in the world has the fastest mouth

Liu: Gun collision I'm talking about it, I really know this

Cao: What?

Liu: The little swallow has the fastest mouth

Cao: Your answer is wrong

Liu: Huh?

Cao: The correct answer is that the toad has the fastest mouth

Liu: That’s nonsense, it’s Xiao Yaner’s mouth that’s the fastest

Cao: The toad has the fastest mouth

Liu: Look, isn’t this pretentious?

Cao: Isn’t this pretentious?

Liu: Let’s do this. Let’s not be pretentious or arrogant. Let’s perform here. How about it?

Cao: What kind of performance?

Liu: In this case, I will play Xiao Yaner.

Cao: You play Xiao Yaner?

Liu: Yes

Cao: You are not like Xiao Yaner

Liu: Then I am like...

Cao: You are like Roast chicken

Liu: Eh

Cao: Xiao Yaner is pregnant

Liu: How do you say this

Cao: How come Xiao Yaner has such a big belly

Liu: I have a big belly, Xiao Yaner

Cao: What about me?

Liu: You come here, the toad

Cao: I come here, the toad, you come here, Xiaoyaner

Liu: Yes

Cao: How does this compare?

Liu: One person, dozens of numbers

Cao: Tens of numbers for each person

Liu: From one to ten, let’s see who speaks faster

p>

Cao: Then you come first

Liu: Then I come first

Cao: Okay

Liu: Let me do a little first Yan'er (make arms like wings) one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, ninety (voice is high-pitched and fast), have you seen the mouth?

Cao: It's really fast

Liu : How fast

Cao: Is it over?

Liu: It’s over

Cao: It’s my turn, listen to me, toad

Liu: Listen to me, toad

Cao: Listen to me This toad. Liangwu

Liu: Hey, Liangwu? If I ask the question again, you won’t be able to answer it

Cao: Impossible

Liu: Look

Cao: Just say it

Liu: Then listen up

Cao: OK

Liu: Let me ask you, what can I eat, drink and sit on?

Cao: Let me tell you right away, porridge

Liu: Can porridge be eaten?

Cao: That porridge?

Liu: Huh? How to eat it?

Cao: Add less water, make it thicker and you can eat it

Liu: Just boil it into rice

Cao: Oh, yes

Liu: What if you drink it?

Cao: Add more water and it will be diluted and you can drink it

Liu: Well, what if you sit down?

Cao: The porridge is all made.

Liu: Yeah

Cao: The porridge is boiling here. Turn the spoon and turn it all over. Soak it up

Liu: Who asked you to turn the spoon?

No, we are not making it. You can cook the porridge, bring it down, put it on the ground, and then sit on it

Cao: Oh, you can’t sit down, why don’t you scald yourself and soak in it

< p>Liu: Haha

Cao: Then I don’t know

Liu: Your answer is wrong

Cao: Then I don’t know

Liu: Tell you, what can you eat, drink and sit on?

Cao: This is it?

Liu: Bread, milk, sofa

Cao: Three of them?

Liu: I didn’t say they were the same

Cao: Then I thought they were the same

Liu: Honey, I call this a multiple-choice question

p>

Cao: You still have multiple choice questions

Liu: That's not the case

Cao: What if I talk about melon seed tea and stools?

Liu: Then what did you say at the time?

Cao: What are you doing...you are such a roundabout person

Liu: Don’t be rounded up.

Cao: According to me, you can’t guess even one of them

Liu: That’s not necessarily true

Cao: Listen to this

Liu: Come here

Cao: What do you mean a mouse has two legs?

Liu: What... mice all have four legs, I don’t know about that

Cao: Can’t guess?

Liu: Can’t guess

Cao: Then you remember, what kind of mouse has two legs

Liu: What kind of mouse?

Cao: Mickey Mouse

Liu: Mickey Mouse doesn’t count

Cao: That is

Liu: I’m just looking for you to solve the problem Do you still dare to guess?

Cao: Do ??you still dare to guess?

Liu: If you dare to guess, I will guess

Cao: If you dare to guess, I will guess

Liu: Come

Cao : Listen to this

Liu: Yeah

Cao: What kind of duck has two legs?

Liu: Donald Duck

Cao: Idiot, all ducks have two legs

Liu: Hey, fuck you