Joke Collection Website - Mood Talk - The winner of the first new concept wrote an article called < < Jay Chou >;
The winner of the first new concept wrote an article called < < Jay Chou >;
award-winning work
Jay Chou.
Orcs, a species between man and beast, have no dignity and soul and live humbly. They can live forever, because survival is their greatest pain. Even if you die, you will still be an orc in your next life. This curse will always follow them.
This is the greatest punishment for human beings who committed major crimes in distant ancient times.
one
"King Fan Texi, a brave warrior,
The iron hoof has traveled in all directions.
No matter how indestructible the city is,
Can't stop the king's footsteps.
………………"
In a bar in Milan, a bard who claimed to be from Poland was playing and singing with a lyre. He has many guests today, but not many people are willing to pay. The bard had to look helplessly at the people in the pub.
"What are you doing staring at me like this? Is this the habit of Milan Eastern Europeans? I am just a small blacksmith in Milan, but I have no money! If I had money, I would buy a lyre to sing here. Which round did you get here to grab business? "
"I just want to have a drink with you." The bard said with a smile.
"Don't behave in such a way without money. I am just a small blacksmith, but I have no money to help you pay. "
"It's my treat?"
"Oh, why did you invite me? It's not because I'm handsome, right? "
"Do you like to ask why?"
"Do you like buying others drinks?"
"Do you still want to drink?" The bard is still smiling.
"No, I think since you like to treat others to drinks so much, you should have a lot of money. Would you mind lending me some? I'd appreciate it. If you want to play horseshoe, I can give you a 10% discount. No, it's 15% off. You know, you run around reciting the piano. How inconvenient it is to have no horse. With a horse, it is natural to have a good horseshoe. There is no blacksmith's craft in Milan that can match me ... "
"You are not generally repetitive. Give me a reason to lend you money. "
"Give me a reason not to borrow money first."
"You borrow it or I borrow it?"
"Ah, well," the little blacksmith bowed his head, "I want to buy a lyre for the shepherdess Nerissa. Next month is her birthday. "
"It's that simple?"
"Is it complicated?"
"Don't you want to buy another ring to propose to her?" He always seems to have a smile on his face.
"You can eat indiscriminately, but you can't talk nonsense." The little blacksmith blushed. "Remember, don't talk nonsense everywhere in the future."
"Go back to prepare. We may have to take a long trip. "
"Why? Why should I go away? "
"Don't you want to borrow money?"
"It feels like a thief boat."
"Don't worry, we won't go to sea." The bard looked into the distance with a mysterious smile on her lips.
two
"Your highness, don't fight again, I'm worried that you kill too much, Sue beauty god will punish you. I am afraid of losing you. "
"Don't worry, I swear by my dagger that everything will end soon. We will be together forever. Even if there is not a drop of water in the Tigris River, even if the Euphrates River floods the palace. We will all be together. "
"If there is a next life, I will still be your wife."
King Fan Texi is holding a dagger, and his oath is still ringing in his ears. He faced the chief of the orc tribe, a warrior as strong as himself.
The hand holding the dagger is already sweating. Orc warriors are much more powerful than their former enemies. All the Babylonian soldiers were aware of this, but no one was afraid of it. They believe in King Fan Texi, a hero who led them to create miracles, and a living God.
three
"I heard that you seem to hang out in bars a lot recently."
"Well, yes, because I think ..."
"Did you drink today?"
"Yes, but ..."
"What else?"
"I forgot to bring you a good bottle of rum."
"Dare to admit it? ! Which fox do you like? "
"No, no, listen to me. It's a Polish bard, a man. "
"What? You like men? Then what shall I do in the future? "
"How is that possible?"
"Who told you that you have no money to put on any ostentation and extravagance, and what wandering poets are invited to drink? What shall we do in the future? "
"Correct me, he bought me a drink."
"Why did he ask you when he was alive? Does he really like you? "
"It is possible. My mother makes me so handsome. "
"I think only Eastern Europeans have different tastes. What! Speaking, you still ... "
In this way, the two men chased each other around the pasture, and the people around them didn't react much. It seems that they have long been used to this scene.
"I may, want to go out of town. Take care of the forge for me. " The little blacksmith began to get down to business.
"What? Where are you going? "
"The bard introduced me to a business."
"It's not eloping with him, is it?"
"I am also for the future! Don't worry, next month is ... I will definitely come back. "
The shepherdess lowered her head, not wanting others to see the blush on her face.
"I prefer gin to rum."
"She is the fiancee of the shepherdess you mentioned." The bard nodded.
"Friend's wife, don't bully others, don't make any bad ideas."
"I am your friend? I am your creditor. "
The little blacksmith finally looked back at the shepherdess. His eyes are full of sadness. He suddenly felt as if they had known each other for many, many years and would be separated for many, many years.
"Hello."
"pig! Pigs can talk! " The blacksmith jumped up as if he had seen the strangest thing.
"He is a gentleman from France, and he hired you."
This French gentleman's face is really unlike a human face. Round face, big ears, prominent nose. I'm afraid three little blacksmiths add up to little weight. He really hasn't seen anyone more like a pig. Even a pig is not a pig like him.
"I'm sorry, you were born out of tune, so it's normal for me to read it wrong."
"You are not the only one who will be wrong. Besides, you may not be really wrong.
Well, we should go, too. "
"Where are we going?"
"William Castle."
four
"Noble knight, I know you are by my side. You repelled powerful robbers and fierce beasts for me. Let me thank you in person. "
The orcs were speechless. He seems to have forgotten how to speak. Beasts don't need words. Facing his wife who misses him so much, he can't face him now.
He seems to have returned to that distant era. He strolled with her in the magnificent palace, looking at the vast land in the distance and the sentient beings at the foot; He waved a dagger at his waist and fought the most powerful orc tribe; The Sumerian goddess descended from the sky and turned them into orcs; He angrily dragged her body from the ruins of the palace; She said to him, "If there is an afterlife, I will still be your wife."
Finally, he couldn't help missing in his heart and ran out.
He couldn't forget the expression of extreme fear on her face when she saw him. There is always a gap between reality and ideal.
He fled there despite her trembling in the car. Just like he fled Babylon with her body on his back. The bustling city of Babylon has become ruins, the magnificent palace has become rubble, the brave soldier has become an orc, and his beloved wife has become a cold corpse ... He is no longer the hero in people's hearts, the king of Fan Texi. It was his belligerence that gave the whole Babylon the most vicious curse.
She is still in this world, and the orcs are constantly looking for her reincarnation. From the Alps to the Rhine, from the Sahara desert to Crete, he will always remember what she said to him.
"If there is a next life, I will still be your wife."
Now she is in front of him, but she seems to have forgotten.
She is human and he is an orc.
He growled at the sky, and the roar shook the whole mountain forest. If there are immortals living in the sky, they will certainly hear them.
"Who, who, who is yelling at the sky in the middle of the night, do you know what time it is?" The clouds in the sky dispersed, and an old man with a tired face came down from the clouds with a book.
"You, who are you? I, I want to find the goddess Su Mei. " After hundreds of years of silence, the voice of the orcs has long been blurred.
"Ah, your message is too delivery? Don't you have the habit of watching holy day every day? She was fired a long time ago, and then a Greek named Zeus, oh no, took her place. Now it's my turn to sit in this seat. My name is Jesus Christ, but I prefer to be called God. "
"How can I become human again?" There is light in the orc's eyes again.
"Oh, you are not a person? I can talk and wear clothes. "
"I am an orc."
"Ah, orcs, that you are really miserable, Sue beauty that wench and you have a vendetta, you didn't get rid of her. Give you such a poisonous curse. Alas, the orcs are basically hopeless. Even if they die, they will still be orcs in the next life. "
"You go up, go up, God, one, there must be a way."
"Yes, I am a god. Well, there is only one way. "
"What?"
God took out a piece of paper from the book: "This is the wanted order on it. The wanted devil is William II. He is the evil king of vampires. Many heroes on earth tried to kill him, but they all failed. I think you are a strong orc. So I think you should be successful, so it is cheaper for you. "
"As long as I kill him, I can become a human again?"
"No, you finally speak fluently. The above reward is to satisfy your wishes in the next life. Remember, there is only one wish. So if you kill him, you can be reincarnated, understand? "
"Where is he?"
"William Castle."
The orc took the paper, turned and ran and disappeared into the jungle.
"Hey, you are more impatient than others. You are already the 29th. "
five
I don't know how many years no one has lived in the castle, and even the gate is covered with vines. The roads in the hospital have long been overgrown with weeds and can no longer be distinguished. If you don't look carefully, you won't find it at all. There is also a castle buried by plants. Through the atrium is the church. There is a gap in the rotten window, so that the sun can enter the church through the gap every afternoon. Behind the church is a cemetery with 28 graves, all of which are used to destroy the Great Devil. Today, there will be a new tombstone here.
In the church, William II could hardly believe his eyes. He had killed so many people. Defeated by an orc who is not even human. He had a silver dagger in his chest, and blood dripped slowly from it.
He tried to pull out the dagger. He used to be an earl and a soldier. He didn't want others to know that he was killed by orcs. But when he pulled out the dagger, he also fell.
The orc is still standing, standing straight. Although his wound is not much lighter than that of the lich King, his left shoulder can hardly move and his head is still bleeding. It is not the bright red of human blood, but the disgusting dark red.
"Too good, you killed William II. If you kill him, we will be free! "
There are many people here, maybe they can't be called people. They have witches, monsters and ghosts. They are all imprisoned here by the devil as his servants.
The orcs finally feel that they are the powerful hero king Fan Texi, and have just won the worst battle. At this time, she will always meet him first, check his wounds, and bite her lips lovingly, as if they were all wounds on her body.
But what about now? Where is she? Waiting for her knight to protect her?
The orc picked up the dagger on the ground, the silver dagger, and the dagger still left traces of his previous thousands of battles.
Why do you want to fight? Because you have been fighting, you are cursed. To stop this curse, you must continue to fight. If he wants to be a man in the next life, he can never be a soldier. He hoped this would be his last battle.
"I have killed the demon king William II, you must help me complete my wish. I hope I can be reborn in my next life and live happily with her. " Orcs roared into the sky, broken windows kept shaking, and dust fell from the roof. Everyone will be shocked by his deep feeling when he hears this roar. Can she hear you?
He thrust the dagger into his chest.
The orcs are dead.
Many years later, people saw a little blacksmith in Milan. He looked like the ancient hero king Fan Texi. People know he likes music and nature, but hates war. People also know that he fell in love with a beautiful shepherdess.
six
"This is William Castle? Why is it so shabby? It seems that no one has lived in it for a long time. I can't figure out what the owner here wants with horseshoes. " The little blacksmith complained about this strange place.
After so many years, the castle looks older, more shabby and more mysterious.
"You're back." The door was opened by a fat woman in a black robe and a pointed hat. She looks funny.
She gave the little blacksmith a happy look.
"I haven't seen you for decades. I didn't expect to be so handsome. I really like you more and more. "
"Hey, I'm not interested in old women. I think you and this fat gentleman are made for each other. Why don't I match you up? We'll make the referral fee cheaper and give you a 10% discount. "
"To tell the truth, this castle really doesn't look like a place where people live. Covered with wild flowers and weeds. Don't you have a gardener here? Forget it. I know a lot of friends. Do you want someone to help you clean it up? All you have to do is pay me an agency fee of eight pounds. "
Everyone didn't speak, just walked slowly. The atmosphere is creepy.
"Can you talk? You don't know that talking to yourself is boring and may even be schizophrenic. You, didn't you say there would be business here and gold coins to earn? Where is the business? Where is the gold? You, how do you look good? Although you look like a cute animal, how can you live in this hellhole? It's not like a human home or a pigsty. And you, didn't you just say I was handsome? Tell me if you like me. "
Silence.
"Please talk to me, and don't make me think that I am the only one alive here."
Still silent.
"Don't make such horrible jokes, okay?"
They came to the church and the door was unlocked. To be exact, there is no door here, and the rusty iron gate is lying on the ground. Decades ago, a hero broke in here and broke it.
"Hey, this place really needs repairing. Unfortunately, I am not a carpenter, otherwise I can make another fortune. "
The fat gentleman took out a piece of paper from the throne and said to the little blacksmith, "Do you recognize this?"
What is painted on the paper is a dagger, a dagger scarred but shining with victory.
"Ah, I only play daily necessities. If you want to fight weapons, you have the wrong person. I hate war most. I will never make weapons for people. No matter how much you pay. "
"Look again."
"No is no, what we do is about professional ethics, don't you know?"
The little blacksmith kept shaking his hand.
The fat woman waved to the little blacksmith on the pedestal. She opened a piece of cloth on the pedestal to reveal a crystal ball.
"You should ask a glass manufacturer. I'm afraid you really have the wrong person. "
The little blacksmith said angrily, "I've come all this way to fool around with you. I must compensate mental damage compensation."
"Look at this crystal ball carefully."
"What else do you want?"
The fat woman pointed to the crystal ball and slowly a shadow appeared in the crystal ball. A well-dressed but staid man accompanied an unusually beautiful woman.
"This man is too much like me, and this woman is like Nerissa. If she takes this as a birthday present, she will be very happy. " The little blacksmith muttered to himself, "compensation for mental damage can also be filled with this glass ball." I won't mind. "
This man is leading soldiers to fight a group of wild animals. Suddenly a woman fell from the sky, mumbling something, and then the soldiers began to fall to the ground in pain, and their bodies began to change greatly. When they stand up again, they become half animals, half people, or simply a group of beasts in armor.
Seeing his face become ferocious and terrible, the little blacksmith broke out in a cold sweat.
"I think I still don't want this ball. What if I scare Nerissa and she doesn't want me? "
The fat woman said to him, "Do you know what this ball is?"
"A glass ball, but how did you get a shadow on it?"
"Called the reincarnation ball, you can see people's past lives."
"Oh, I see."
After a few seconds.
"Are you kidding? Was I like this in my last life? " The little blacksmith screamed like a cat with its tail stepped on.
"He is not a thing, he is a hero." The bard pulled the little blacksmith out of the back door.
"Why did you bring me here? Although the church is gloomy, I'd better go back. "
They arrived at the cemetery, and 29 graves were sleeping in the night wind. Only one grave's tombstone fell obliquely to the ground, which is the largest of the 29. The wind blows the broken tombstone, like the devil's moan.
The bard pointed to the largest tomb and said, "Do you know who is in this tomb?"
The little blacksmith shook his head, not knowing whether he was shaking or shaking.
"He is the most terrible devil in the world. The other 28 graves here are warriors who came to kill him. They are all the most powerful fighters among mankind, but when they meet this devil, they all become dead. You killed him with that dagger. "
The little blacksmith just stood there.
"But now I don't know what happened, he is still alive. He wants to get back at everyone, and now only you can destroy him. "
The little blacksmith still stood blankly. Suddenly, he suddenly realized, "I see, I see, you are crazy, and you want others to be crazy." I won't be fooled by you! " What crystal ball, what dagger, I'll go back now. "
"This is your reward. I hope you and your wife are happy. " The bard threw him a bag of gold coins. "I know you don't remember the past completely." When you remember, you can come back here. Just open the iron box on the peninsula and take out the dagger inside, and you will become an invincible orc again, and you will become the real hero King Fan Texi again. "
The little blacksmith ran away and never looked back, leaving the cemetery and William Castle. The voice in his head still haunts him: "Just open the iron box on the peninsula and take out the dagger inside, and you will be an invincible orc again, and you will be the real hero King Fan Texi."
"Why do people now have mental problems? Just find someone with a deep relationship. I don't want to go crazy. "
The little blacksmith touched the purse around his waist: "Fortunately, the gold is real. Otherwise, how to explain it to Nerissa, she will not believe it. "
The little blacksmith ran back to Milan and bought a lyre, a ring and a bunch of flowers. No matter what she says, he wants her to be his wife.
But when he ran to the shepherdess's house, he saw a man who looked terrible, as terrible as a human being. His face is as white as death, and his mouth seems to have drunk human blood, and he can even see those sharp tiger teeth. His arm gripped the shepherdess's throat. The shepherdess blushed, and when she saw the little blacksmith, the look of pain on her face suddenly eased a lot.
The weirdo also saw him and smiled, which was also ferocious. He threw the shepherdess against the wall. She fell heavily to the ground. The angry little blacksmith tried to rush up, but the devil waved his hand and he flew out like a kite with a broken line.
There is a piano behind him, which is a banjo for his fiancee. So he was not smashed, but the piano was smashed.
He struggled to get up and climbed to the dying shepherdess.
He put his arm around her, took out the ring and put it on her hand.
She smiled, and her smile slowly became stiff and cold.
He remembered the last sentence she left him: "If there is a next life, I will still be your wife."
He suddenly remembered something.
The demon king smiled and walked slowly to the little blacksmith.
The little blacksmith's eyes were full of anger and hatred. The love that several generations can't change is now full of resentment. But he's just a little blacksmith. Before the devil, mortals are doomed to perish.
But he saw a pig, or a man who looked like a pig.
He threw himself at the man with all his might.
"Take me to William Castle." There seems to be an irresistible force in his simple sentence. He seems to be a great hero, King Fan Texi.
The fat gentleman ran desperately with two people in his arms. You wouldn't believe it. He used to be as bloated as a pig.
seven
"This is the peninsula tin box, containing your battle-hardened dagger. Pick it up, you can't go back, you will always be an orc. "
The little blacksmith opened the iron box, and a golden light shone from the box, which surrounded the little blacksmith. He picked up the dagger and stabbed himself in the heart. The golden light entered the little blacksmith's body from the wound.
The little blacksmith held the shepherd girl's body hard and roared like a beast.
Does he really have only one wish? He has been successfully reincarnated, but he can't live happily with her.
He guessed the beginning, but not the end.
Does he want to continue to protect her in reincarnation? There is no result.
The little blacksmith is dead and will never come back to life.
Orcs have come back to life and will never die again.
〈! -& gt;
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