How to deal with unqualified people and unreasonable things?

Life always likes to let us experience with certain conflicts, so we are used to adjusting the days of life with conflicts.

But if you meet unreasonable people who like to reverse black and white in the conflict, I believe many people must want to hide as far as possible.

Without it, ordinary people can still reason with Ta, but when they meet, they can't even tell the truth-when a scholar meets a soldier, he can't tell!

I believe many people will be curious about what kind of environment created such a person after meeting such a person.

In fact, the root of their irrationality and irrationality is that they are always eager to gain advantages or leadership positions in order to gain the sense of security they need.

However, the process of fighting seems to be the same as that of animals fighting for leadership. The way is not very beautiful, and it doesn't quite conform to our definition of daily competition or getting along.

One side has a strong struggle, and naturally the other side will be wronged.

People who meet them naturally become relatively weak.

Anger and grievance are inevitable emotional products, which have nothing to do with personality. Therefore, don't think that you will always care because you are weak.

Why always feel unhappy?

1. Inner projection-behavior affects mood

Behavioral analysts have put forward the view that "the way the other person treats others is also the projection response of his inner desire or pursuit". In fact, this truth can be seen in the giver-ourselves.

The way we treat others is also our response and release to our deep needs.

Most of the insolence of the other party proves to be our gentle and approachable interpersonal requirements.

And we hope that the purpose of the same emotional feedback generated by the other party has not been achieved, our hearts have not been satisfied, and our natural mood will not be too good.

In addition, the other party also released negative emotional feedback such as anxiety and irritability in this process, but we received it. The two emotions work together, and I believe that even people with strong inner feelings will have certain negative emotions.

2.？ Label attack-start to doubt yourself

How to gain a dominant position quickly and by hook or by crook?

Unreasonable people naturally have a plan to achieve their goals quickly, and the process is as follows:

A: Repeatedly emphasize your weaknesses-blow your self-esteem and suppress your self-confidence.

Those screwed-up events, your pain points, and many events that can affect you will become their weapons.

B: further emphasizing your weaknesses may have a bad effect-creating fear instead of fighting it.

As long as the mood changes slightly, this conflict will soon be dominated by Ta. Then, further increase the attack effect, in order to quickly gain a dominant position.

C: Continue to attack, but not relent-entanglement is the characteristic.

No matter how the other party attacks, what the other party wants to see is our negative emotions such as anger, injustice and even irritability, and rely on this reaction to further pester the other party for a long time.

It is undeniable that we are denied in this process, and the process of denial is often an event that we are afraid or even disgusted with. Therefore, sadness and anger are the inevitable products of this process.

Ignoring is actually the biggest coping rule.

They are not afraid of your conflict with them. On the contrary, what they are actually more afraid of is that you ignore the conflict itself created by him.

The irrationality and irrationality in the above attacks are their weapons. When you and he began to get serious, in fact, we have entered each other's trap.

Because the other person doesn't mean to reason with you, how can he listen to you?

The other party didn't listen to you, but you were upset by the other party's unreasonable troubles. One speaks attentively and the other doesn't listen. Who has the advantage? Actually, it's obvious.

Secondly, if the other party wants to gain a dominant position, another requirement that must be met is that you should listen to Ta.

Often the other party will use their own set of logic to deal with you. In the above emotions, we have actually entered the field that we are not good at, and that is to prove ourselves.

Therefore, when dealing with this kind of conflict, we must first strive for an advantage for ourselves. The first step is to deal with contradictions in a playful or indifferent manner. Second, don't discuss logic with each other.

Since it is unreasonable from the beginning, don't cut to the chase from the truth first. Don't easily give the other party a chance to start taking advantage, which must be noted.

What should we do when we meet such a person?

For people who can't solve problems through communication, emotional attacks are mostly very important means of attack. Is that I give priority to certain advantages by erupting certain emotions.

For people who have had emotional outbursts, the lower our self-confidence, the more powerful the other person is.

Because the other party will think that we are afraid of Ta and think that we are stronger than the other party, which is the best reason for Ta to continue to show its advantages.

But the so-called emboldened spirit is not carried out with Ta, but with confidence and backbone in the bones to deal with each other's mental attacks.

How to do this?

1.？ It's important to know your personality and orientation.

No matter who others are, no matter how they treat you and show you their words and deeds, we are still myself.

Yes, no matter who the other party is. We are still myself, but after meeting Ta, we don't want to be such a group of people.

I think this sentence can be given not only to those who are hurt by unreasonable people, but also to everyone in life.

2.？ Don't shake yourself easily

The other person's mental attack is often like a poisonous snake lurking in our hearts. Every time you think about it, you can bite us.

This kind of harm is greater than the insolence of the other party. Because it will make us always doubt ourselves.

3.？ Try to stay away from this group of people

For such a group of people, the nature of people getting along is probably-hiding far away.

After all, as long as people don't pay attention to Ta, all weapons and emotions are lost. As long as one person confronts him, Ta will use his rich combat experience to seek a sense of victory.

Why should such a group of people be close to them?

summary

The best way to solve the conflict is to communicate calmly, and we also need to ask everyone to be on the same channel.

But if the channels are different, I still advise you not to solve the problem in a reasonable way. There is no need to force yourself to endure bad emotions to deal with conflicts. After all, it is easy to go astray if you are not careful.