Why do many middle-aged couples become "neighbors" at night?

The farthest distance in the world is not when I stand in front of you and you don’t know that I love you, but when a husband and wife sleep in the same bed and sleep on the same pillow, but they are as strange as strangers. From saying everything at first to having nothing to say later. They are obviously husband and wife, but at night, they become "neighbors". The strangeness and distance between them seems to be unbridgeable no matter how hard they try.

It is a very common phenomenon in life. Many couples are fine during the day after they reach middle age. They can discuss things together, face difficulties together, love each other, and keep each other warm. At night, they became a couple in name only, more like "neighbors", seemingly strangers, polite, distanced, and heartless.

When night falls, it should be a time for couples to enjoy warmth, but why do many middle-aged couples become "neighbors" at night?

First, the passage of freshness is both accidental and inevitable.

Couples have been together for a long time, especially middle-aged couples. After many years, each other has become accustomed to each other's existence, so many people compare middle-aged couples to left and right hands.

The passage of freshness has led to the dullness of life. In such a dull state for a long time, there has been some fatigue between the two parties. In love, anything big can be softened by hormones, and in marriage, anything small can be hardened by boredom. Love is a confused account, and marriage is a magnifying glass.

After living in this kind of life for a long time, any small contradiction may be infinitely magnified. While slowly accumulating, they will not be able to get the best outlet, leading to more and more conflicts between husband and wife. The stranger they become, the more indifferent they become, and finally they drift away and become strangers to each other.

Second, there is a long-term lack of understanding, from disappointment to despair.

In this world, there will never be sudden despair, and all despair comes from experiencing disappointment again and again. Later, we no longer have any hope and completely give up.

When people are not understood, they feel very sad and also very bitter. Without care or consideration, it is destined that all this suffering can only be resisted by one person. Later, I completely faced this period. Marriage loses confidence and motivation. When a person is used to being alone, he no longer needs company.

Not being understood is a fatal poison, and it is also the cause of all gaps between husband and wife, the root cause of all strangeness. This kind of negative emotions will accumulate as time goes by. As the saying goes, silence is a person's biggest hope of giving up.

Third, the pressure of life leads to the exhaustion of marriage.

When people reach middle age, they are the most stressed age. There are old people above and young people below. We dare not slack off at all. No matter how hard it is, no matter how difficult it is, we still have to grit our teeth and persevere. I dare not take a break or ask for leave because my salary expenditure for the month has already been allocated in advance.

Long-term tension, busyness, and sensitivity will put a heavy load on the mind, which will lead to fatigue in the marriage and alienation between husband and wife. People's energy is limited. When they are busy with life and making a living, it is easy to ignore the emotional problems of couples. Lack of communication will not only affect the relationship between husband and wife, but also make you more sensitive and collapse.

Life is not easy for everyone. They wake up early and stay late, and are nervous. Gradually, they become incomprehensible in the eyes of the other party, which later leads to a boring life, including the life of a couple. , and later, completely numb.

Fourth, the breakdown of the relationship led to the subsequent strangeness.

Many couples often quarrel after reaching middle age, and both parties become a little unreasonable. There are more and more conflicts in the marriage, and there are more and more problems in the marriage. In fact, some marriages and conflicts have existed from the beginning, but they have been covered up by certain factors. In the end, these small conflicts that have existed from the beginning have finally accumulated and become malignant.

The cultivation of relationships does not happen overnight, and similarly, the breakdown of relationships does not happen overnight either.

Emotion is the foundation that supports a marriage, and bread is the foundation that supports a relationship. A relationship without bread is unstable, but a marriage without emotion must be shaky.

The breakdown of relationships leads to subsequent strangership, and the breakdown of almost all relationships is due to the couple's failure to deal with inadvertent small problems at the beginning. It is not that middle-aged couples are prone to quarrels; The husband and wife's patience has reached a certain limit.

Fifth, without a husband and wife life, they are doomed to be in different beds.

Couple life is a communication between husband and wife, it is also a kind of enjoyment between husband and wife, and it is the most direct way to relax between husband and wife. It is not a word of shame. Without a married life, couples are destined to share the same bed but have different dreams.

There are many reasons for not living as a couple, and these reasons are precisely the problems between couples.

A harmonious married life is the lubricant of a couple’s relationship. It will only make a couple closer, more trusting, and more dependent on each other. Its effect is better than The effect of ten thousand sentences of verbal communication is always so direct and obvious.

Couples who have lost their married life are, in a fundamental sense, already people in two worlds. All dissatisfaction and negative emotions will make the two people become more and more unfamiliar and difficult to communicate with each other. , becoming more and more indifferent.