Tell me about the head of my son playing mobile phone.

? Coordinate | Shenzhen

0 1 The killer with the biggest parent-child relationship?

In today's society, the biggest "killer" of parent-child relationship is probably mobile games.

Whether to configure smart phones for children has become a topic that many parents can't escape.

How to manage children's mobile phones has become a challenge that countless parents can't ignore.

Many parents of adolescent children will invariably ask me "three questions" when they know that I have just accompanied my son through a difficult adolescence:

"Does your child play mobile games?"

"Do you accept your children playing mobile games?"

"How do you manage your child's mobile phone?"

I think they will look startled when they hear my answer.

That's right. Now, my answer to the child's mobile phone is-

"My children also play mobile games;

I accept children playing mobile games;

I didn't pay special attention to the boss's mobile phone. "

Perhaps, this answer makes them think that I am a very unreliable mother?

However, this is true!

In the past six months, I really didn't care much about my boss's mobile phone. Playing games with him, I also changed from the initial various containment to the current acceptance.

Why have I changed so much?

You know, two years ago, when I saw my boss pick up his mobile phone and play games, I hated iron and steel.

My heart is full of all kinds of fears and worries:

What should children do after they are so addicted to games?

Children always play games and don't study hard. What good universities can they get into?

If he can't get into a good university, what good future can he have?

What about his life?

Every time I think about this, I can't help knocking on the boss's door and earnestly persuading him:

"Stop playing games and spend your time studying."

"Study hard to get into a good university, get into a good university and live a good life ..."

At this time, the boss who is playing games always bothers me and sometimes even speaks ill of me.

Finally, it always ends with my sad disappointment and tears. ...

Thanks to the mobile phone, I saved my child.

Countless sleepless nights, I have asked myself again and again in my mind: "Why is the boss so addicted to games?" What should we do as parents? "

However, in retrospect, I really should thank the mobile game for saving the children!

Although the boss is in a lot of state and doesn't want to learn, I am glad that he is at least in good health.

Once, we had a fierce conflict because of the game. I lost my temper and criticized my boss. The furious boss pushed me out of the door and slammed the door.

As a result, the door lock was damaged and the door could no longer be opened. The boss who was in a hurry to go to school kicked the door open.

Since then, his door has never been locked.

We communicated afterwards, and the boss told me that the mobile phone was closer than relatives, and at least we could play games and listen to songs through the mobile phone to relieve our tension and depression at that time.

When the boss recalled his junior high school life, he said to me: "Mom, I didn't expect so-and-so (his junior high school brother) to be depressed in the second day." I thought I would be depressed! "

I was really surprised after listening to it:

"Junior high school children, how can be associated with depression?

That child is a famous headmaster. He is clever and obedient. Besides studying, he can also cook. He is really someone else's child!

Why are you depressed? "

The boss also complained to me that we don't pay attention to his spiritual world, only care about his study, not his feelings.

Come to think of it, we never really cared about what his spiritual world was like.

We stare at our children's grades every day and lack spiritual communication with them. Besides preaching to the child, we also stare at what he can't do. We often criticize and criticize children, which makes them very nervous.

The boss is at school, because his grades are not top-notch, he can't get the recognition of teachers and classmates; At home, because of poor grades, I can't get the affirmation of my parents.

Coupled with the physical confusion in adolescence, you can imagine how frustrated and helpless the boss was at that time!

He once complained to me: "I can't even ask my classmates to play basketball on weekends. My classmates have gone to make up lessons!" " "

Think about it, the boss at that time was like being on an island. What would he look like if there was no exit for mobile games?

Cheer up! Children get spiritual sustenance by indulging in games, which also gives us a great reminder: Mom and Dad, it's time to improve your family education ability!

In recent years, we have tried our best to manage the boss's mobile phone, but the result is that the parent-child relationship is not good. The boss is in a negative rebellion and opposes us every day, putting all his energy into internal friction.

Once, I knocked on the door and went into my boss's room, asking him how his homework was going.

The boss said to me angrily, "I was going to study, but you said I didn't want to study any more!" " "

At that time, the boss really turned against us.

How can he concentrate on his studies in this state?

The root of addiction is here?

After research, I know that the root of the boss's extreme addiction to games is that our family ties are too weak and there are great problems in the flow of love between us.

We are absorbed in the boss's study and what he can't do. The atmosphere at home is tense and depressing, and there is a lack of love among family members. This is the main reason why bosses escape from reality and indulge in mobile games.

Besides, the boss is an aggressive tiger. What he needs most is my place, and I'm in charge. He needs freedom and taboo rules.

However, as an owl, I often "pluck my hair", criticize and accuse him, and it is strange that he can listen!

After understanding this, I began to adapt to the boss's personality talent, let him manage himself and his mobile phone.

When we gave him back his affairs and the right to choose freely, everything began to be different.

He can get up on time for school more and more. We don't need to rush him and invite him.

He also has proper limit when he plays with his mobile phone. He usually finishes his homework before playing or after playing for a while.

Teachers also have a lot of positive feedback: they are serious in class and actively complete their homework.

Of course, there must be endless talk and endless talk.

At this time, I will express my feelings and opinions directly, but I will not criticize and preach too much.

He would calmly say to me, "You and Dad don't have to worry, I will take care of it myself."

When we were in charge of him before, whenever we pointed out his shortcomings, he would always say simply and rudely, "Leave him alone!" "

At the same time, my husband and I continue to do positive construction work: see the progress of the boss every day and affirm his progress every day.

In addition, we work together to create a more relaxed and warm family atmosphere for children:

We played chess in front of the children, talking and laughing;

In front of the boss, we study and study against time to strengthen the power of example;

Affirm the diary every day, and the boss will look forward to it from the initial disdain. ......

Gradually, we found that he had his own pursuit, made a lot of efforts, and was not as seriously addicted to games as before.

At home, he also began to talk and laugh, talking more and laughing brilliantly.

Once, he talked with us for 90 minutes!

He will also do something for his family and have fun with his brother.

Some time ago, he actually promised to go out for a walk with us. You know, it was hard to talk to him before.

There are more and more such amazing scenes in our family, and my husband and I are very pleased.

Looking back on this journey, I deeply feel that children's poor academic performance and lack of interest in learning are not the fault of mobile phones or games, but the problem of family ties.

At this time, if you don't improve and make up from the family, but stare at your child's mobile game anxiety every day, you are actually pursuing the end.

After spending the most difficult adolescence with my children, I want to say: Thanks to the mobile game, my son won't collapse and will support him in the most difficult time of internal and external troubles.

I also thank myself for awakening and changing in time, accompanying and supporting my son out of despair, regaining confidence and restoring the innate vitality of life.

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