What was the death row prisoner thinking about on his last night? Can he sleep? Regret or no regrets?

May 5, 2019, was a day that I will remember for the rest of my life. On that day, I was announced to be executed the next day. For a death row inmate who had been in a detention center for more than 1,000 days, this news was both cruel and irreversible, and at the same time an easy relief. On that midsummer morning, due to an unexpected situation, I accidentally stabbed to death the two villains who were bullying my wife and children! And after that, the four words "kill for life" have been lingering in my mind. Since I entered the detention center three and a half years ago, the people in the cell have kept away from me who was covered in blood. I could feel that they were afraid of me, especially after they knew that I had killed someone. For me, these 1,000-plus days were torture every night. The shackles weighing 7 kilograms prevented me from falling asleep. When I closed my eyes when I felt sleepy, I was awakened by the "clanging" sound of the chains, which I could often hear. Whispering complaints and curses, but all these have become nothing to me.

Later, I was transferred by the guards to the "Juvenile Offenders" cell as the "Team Leader". I understand that this was also because the detention center was protecting me. Among the eleven people here, I was the only adult. . After learning that I would be executed tomorrow, the little guys were frightened and there was silence in the cell. During dinner, Director Li opened the door of the cell, and two inmates came in carrying an aluminum basin filled with mutton. The director threw two packets of soft Chinese food at me: "Eat, this is One of the sheep raised by the guard has been stewed for you." After that, he left. After the director left, the little guys looked at the meat in the basin and sipped their saliva. "Go ahead and eat, I can't eat anymore," I said to them. Then, I leaned against the wall and smoked cigarettes one after another, hoping to forget them while puffing away. Tomorrow I would bid farewell to this world completely.

At night, the detention center was afraid that I would lose my mind and act randomly, so they specially increased the number of "staring sentries" in our cell to two. Seeing the little ones yawning profusely, I said, "You go to bed, I'll be on duty for you." After saying that, I lit a cigarette. But because they were worried about discipline and punishment, the two little ones didn't dare to neglect at all, so they walked over to them. I asked for a cigarette and started smoking. After a while, they finished smoking and fell asleep. At this moment, I was not sleepy at all. One cigarette after another made me extremely awake. The past events were played over and over again in my mind like a movie. Since I didn't eat or drink, I did this until early in the morning. Around six o'clock, the iron gate of the prison area opened, and I could clearly hear a few strong footsteps, stopping at the door of our cell. "Zhang Jiadong, prepare for the execution." As soon as he finished speaking, several bailiffs and armed police took me out of the cell, and I was already fully dressed. I was taken to the director's office, and the bailiff tied me up skillfully. Then the criminal brought me breakfast, but I had already lost my appetite. I asked the guard for a cigarette, which I smoked in less than a minute.

After about forty minutes, I was told to meet my family. I hesitated at that moment because I was worried that my parents, wife, and children would be sad and in tears, and I was even more afraid that I would completely lose the courage to face death. However, my heart was so eager to see them one last time, and finally I mustered up the courage to face them. At that moment our eyes met, but tears were pouring down, and my mother kept stuffing meat into my mouth to eat. Because my throat was dry and my nostrils were blocked by tears, even though I wanted to swallow it, I couldn't. Down. My father's hands kept touching my face, and his clothes had already been wet with tears. At that moment, there were only parents and beloved children in this space, not family members or death row prisoners. The interview was originally scheduled to last twenty minutes, but the detention center guards had to extend it for another ten minutes. In the end, this life-and-death farewell ended when the bailiff forcibly dragged me away. I was dragged into the escort vehicle and drove to the execution ground at full speed. Farewell, my dearest parents. Farewell, my beloved wife and children. Farewell, this A world that makes me hate and miss...

I have sent away three death row prisoners in my life. I still remember what they looked like. On three different mornings. When the iron door rings. They all pretty much do the same thing. He could still say hello and say goodbye to us with a smile.

I don’t know what the other death row prisoners looked like in the first few dozen minutes on the road, but for these three, I think as men, they have just started. In their words, men do You get it, you get it.

Usually at this time, when we are on duty, we will hold his hand and say a few words of good luck along the way. At that moment, I didn’t understand what they were thinking, but I felt really uncomfortable.

Okay, let me tell you how the last night went.

The death row inmate already knew about it on the first day of his execution because he had to sign the approval document. On this day, the cadres on duty will also give special instructions to those on duty in the cell.

When the prison tour is completed in the afternoon, the death row inmates usually take a shower. Of course he did it with the help of his two saves. The so-called bailouts are two other prisoners arranged by the cadres to stay close to the death row inmate.

Death row prisoners are different from other prisoners. All year round, handcuffs and shackles are added to the body. They eat, drink, and eat with them. When sleeping, the chain should be wrapped in two towels.

There was once a death row prisoner who was granted a reprieve by the Supreme Court after being handcuffed and shackled for three years. After the cadres removed his handcuffs and shackles, he could no longer walk. He staggered and always turned to one side. It took about a day or two for it to return to normal, which was funny to watch.

During dinner, the general cadres would fry two or three dishes from outside and bring them to the prison cell. There are some death row prisoners and a few on duty, as well as some people who play well and can have a few bites. But generally at this time, death row prisoners have little appetite.

After finishing the meal and closing the inner door. There is usually a farewell party. Everyone comes up to say a few words, and sometimes death row inmates will come up to say a few words or even sing a song or two. Some death row inmates remain silent.

This night is destined to be unusual. There will be several people on duty in the cell who take turns sitting next to the condemned prisoners. Prevent any accidents!

But usually there will be no accidents, and the death row prisoner actually doesn’t know whether he fell asleep or not. No one paid much attention to them. But I remember very clearly that the three death row inmates I sent away all slept well.

When I first entered the detention center, for a while, I would hear someone singing non-stop every night. The singing was shrill and sad.

The veteran prisoner told me that it was the red jackets in other cells singing. A red coat is a death sentence. Because only death row prisoners wear red jackets.

Several nights it was my turn to be on duty. Behind Leng Buding came shrill laughter, singing and crying. Makes my back tingle.

Because I have been studying for several years, prisoners have asked me to ghostwrite many of their letters, which they dictate. Death row prisoners, of course I also wrote letters for them. They generally have little education. Of the three death row prisoners I sent away, two were drug dealers and one was a murderer. Every time I write a letter for them, they always talk too much and can't explain clearly. Later, I just decided to write it and asked them directly if it was okay. Usually, they said yes and just wrote it.

In my memory, the first night of the death row inmates who were about to go on the road was basically relatively peaceful. But on many normal days. They will sigh. Sometimes he loses his temper. Or say nothing for a day or two.

When a person is about to die, his words are also good. It is these extremely vicious people outside who talk about their families, children and parents. Sometimes it even brings tears to my eyes.

When the death row inmate leaves, the cell will suddenly become very quiet. At that moment, maybe everyone was thinking about such a question about life and death.

Regret and no resentment, perhaps the death row inmates have also thought about this question. But all this is meaningless.

I am Xiaoyu, let me answer.

Not to mention the death penalty, even a sentence of several years can make someone collapse. I have a friend who was arrested by the police after taking a shower at home on April 25. When he heard that he was expected to be sentenced to more than three years, he immediately softened.

I watched an American documentary before, which talked about how death row inmates spent their last days. After watching it, I realized that life is precious.

Of course, we have never experienced the death penalty and do not understand their true inner feelings. Most of them are hearsay. But imagine someone suddenly informs you that you are going to be shot tomorrow. What you are thinking is what the death row prisoner is thinking.

On the last night of a death row prisoner, the following states are expected:

These are the most common states. 99 Death row prisoners cannot get a good sleep on the last day of their lives. They usually lean against the wall or lie still and think about things all night long. The content of their thoughts varies from person to person. Some people recall their growth experiences from childhood to the present. , some miss their wives and children, while others recall the day they committed the crime and lament how much better it would have been if they had not committed the crime at that time.

I remember a soldier said that people are afraid of death, it just depends on why you die. Except for those who have no love in life, normal people are afraid of death. Trembling and fainting ensue because the nerves are so tight. Some prisoners collapsed emotionally and simply cried out and begged for mercy. But there is no regret medicine in the world, only a bowl of Meng Po soup on Naihe Bridge.

Since ancient times, the concept of "Don't starve to death on the road to death" has been strengthened and continued, so much so that even today's death row prisoners want to have a good meal before they die. Prison food is not very tasty, so it is understandable that you would like to improve your food and have a meal of delicacies before you die, and efforts will be made to satisfy these requests. But what most prisoners want to eat is not a big meal, but a meal cooked by their mother.

I participated in a truth-telling game and asked you if today was the last day of your life, what would you most want to do? Most of the answers my classmates gave me were about meeting their families. Family love is an eternal topic. Although they have committed heinous crimes, they still value feelings.

It is the wish of most death row inmates to be able to see their family members for the last time and have them record their last words. After all, some death row inmates commit crimes because they have no choice but to do so. This refers to cases that are “not recognized by the law but understood by public opinion.”

I am going to die tomorrow. I think most people will think back to why they were sentenced to death. If they had not committed irreparable mistakes, who would be willing to give their lives to others for trial. They will repent for their mistakes, apologize to the victim's family, and feel sorry for their bright future. If you can repent, it means that the goodwill in human nature has been aroused, but whether it is awakened due to "fear of the death penalty" or "self-reflection" is unknown.

For some female death row inmates, no matter how miserable life in prison is, they must leave this world with dignity. Taking a clean bath symbolizes to some extent that they want to wash away the sins they have committed in this life. Since you came into this world clean and tidy, it’s best to leave everything behind when you leave.

There may be two types of people who can sleep calmly when faced with the death penalty. One is someone who has completely thought through it and has seen through life, old age, illness and death; the other is the extremely vicious death row criminal.

The former has accepted death indifferently. Since it cannot change this outcome, it is better to accept it calmly. But to be honest, this kind of "open-mindedness" is really admirable. The latter is because the crimes committed in this life have been heinous, such as some "drug lords", those villains on TV are like this, and they have made all psychological preparations before committing crimes.

Although standing and talking does not hurt your back, when faced with the topic of the death penalty, most people have to give it three points of awe. It makes sense that existence is reasonable in a large sense. Only through capital punishment can it play a better vigilant role and maintain the balance of social stability.

I advise everyone to live a good life and don’t get carried away. Many conflicts, hatreds, anger, grievances, and depressions are not big things when I look back after a few years. Living is more important than anything else.

I was imprisoned with a death row prisoner in 1998 due to other matters. Among them, the guards kept changing their orders. In a short period of more than 40 days, I came into contact with three death row inmates. Two of them were co-defendants. Before leaving, they were concerned and reluctant to leave their wives and children. It can't be covered up with anything. In their eyes and words. Revealing the longing for the world. Reluctance to leave his wife and children. They were three co-defendants at that time, the oldest was 34 years old and the youngest was 19 years old. The eldest daughter is three years old, and the younger one has never been married.

Because the judgment had been handed down for a long time, they knew it would be carried out on May Day. In the days approximately one week before execution. Take the clothes and try them on every day to see if there is anything wrong with them. It was around 4:00 in the morning on the day of execution. The sound of many police sirens mixed together is something I will never forget. There are a *** 7 people to execute. They were detained alone in a cell one day in advance. At 6:30 in the morning, they had to see their families for the last time to say goodbye and explain their affairs. When the execution was carried out that year, there were armed police escorts. When I came back, I asked the armed police about the status of the execution. It is said that some people get out of the car by themselves, and some have to drag the car. More than 20 years have passed since the incident, and as if it was yesterday, their looks are still in my mind.

I stayed in a detention center for a period of time in 2000. Three death row inmates were executed before the Spring Festival. They were not notified in advance. The night before, the director of the detention center went to the big labor house, which meant that six prisoners were sentenced to death. Cells for those serving sentences of between 1 month and 3 years in the detention center (these people are very free. They clean, cook, and feed pigs. Sometimes they can go out and buy things with the guards). It means that someone will be executed tomorrow. , and asked him to help pick him up at that time. At six o'clock the next morning, he went to the cell to pick up the man. The guard opened the door and called so-and-so to come out. As soon as the man came out, two people from the labor number carried him out. , followed by several labor numbers nearby, there were armed police waiting outside the door of the detention center to escort him into the car. I remember a man in his sixties, who was cooking in a nursing home, had a conflict with an old lady, and killed her. A man with mental problems killed his mother, and while carrying him out, he asked the labor number what he was doing. Oh, do you think she is stupid? There was another woman who was summoned by the female guard. No one needed to mention her. She walked out on her own. After the execution was completed in the afternoon, the people from the court sent back the shackles and other things. I heard that the woman knew about the family. I spent a lot of money on her, and finally signed for a kidney.

Let me talk about the last moments of the death row inmates that I saw

The death row inmates in reality are not like the death row inmates in movies and TV shows. They cannot know exactly which night is the last night.

After the High Court ruled that the appeal was dismissed and the original verdict was upheld, the case was reported to the Supreme People's Court for review of the death penalty in accordance with the law. During this period, every night will be his last night.

If the death penalty inmate is alert enough, he can still know from various signs that his life is running out:

1. The Supreme People's Court will commission a final trial before the execution of the death penalty order. The court sends personnel to the detention center to meet with death row inmates to verify their identity and inquire with guards about their performance in the detention center.

2. They will ask about their family situation, whether they are willing to meet their family members (after the death penalty in the first trial, a death row prisoner can no longer meet his family members), and whether he has any letters or objects to give to his family members, etc.

When the above situation occurs, it is still not certain which day is the execution day, so the death row inmate does not know which night is the last night, whether he should eat or eat, whether he should sleep or sleep, and whether he should relax or exercise.

In 2017, I was undercover in the detention center