You should always look for opportunities to make peace with yourself.

I failed in the postgraduate entrance examination.

The spring of 202 1 is the time when everything recovers.

On the day I found the result, I imagined all my possible reactions.

Sadness, collapse, disappointment, doubt? Nothing, only a moment of loss.

An exam simply declared my failure, judged my future and denied all my efforts.

I can't forget the drowsiness of getting up before 6: 30 every day and occupying a seat in the study room, the rustling of pens across four sets of dark green papers, and the boredom of reciting professional courses until my throat hurts.

But all this just turned into three numbers, which put an end to all my efforts.

In the spring after March this year, everything returned to the original point.

Nothing has changed, it seems that everything has changed.

I began to fall into an empty period that others could not understand. Maybe many people will say, "Didn't you just get into graduate school?" What is melodramatic? "

But only those who have experienced those years will understand that it is like a fruitless love, like the helplessness when the queue for a long time is told that it is "sold out", like the moment when the dream is shattered at the foot.

I need time and a realistic bow.

I understand that everyone has his own moon, which rises and sets alone. Just my moon, lost my own sun.

But the process of bowing to reality is doomed to be painful.

I began to fall into endless depression, and I began to feel unfair.

I forgot those who worked harder than me, the time I wasted, and the determination I made to start over.

In my eyes, there are only "miracles" of success without hard work, and those unrelated successes in my circle of friends.

I understand that what makes you sad is not your own failure, but the success of others. But this is really sad.

There is a term in psychology: brewing effect. It means that when you are in a desperate situation on a certain issue, you might as well give up thinking and give yourself a chance to make everything zero.

I tried to enter a real blank period, no action, no emotions, no thoughts.

I will get up on time, sit at my desk in a daze, watch a documentary or movie, occasionally stand by the window and watch the workers on the opposite site paint and install glass day after day.

They may not be as old as me, but they are all about the same. But in less than 10 days, they finished painting and installing a building.

But their dream is to repair glass? Do they feel sad whenever the light across the street is on?

Maybe they will envy others' beautiful life, their seemingly relaxed and comfortable working environment and complain about their meager income. But the moment each building is completed, it must be their most fulfilling and proud moment.

I looked out of the window and cried for no reason.

I just found out that the years were not good. It turns out that not everyone in this world can get what they want.

I seem to take myself too seriously. Growing up, I haven't experienced any big waves, so I think the world should reward my efforts and everything should get what I want.

We live in a society full of comparisons, accustomed to comparing with others' lives and willing to weigh the gains of others; We pursue the so-called fairness, but in fact we just want to have everything we want.

But we have to study all our lives, accept the unsatisfactory reality and accept ourselves who are not good enough.

We are not behind, we just step on the right rhythm in our own time zone.

I also want to be what I want to be, but it seems that the time is not yet allowed.

Not that I can't, but that I can't at this moment.

The Doctrine of the Mean writes that a gentleman is always in his own position and unwilling to surpass it.

We always suddenly turn our eyes to a person, care about his success, envy his gains and complain about the injustice of heaven.

But we often forget ourselves.

Just as forests don't need to care about whether the ocean is rough, Shan Ye doesn't need to care about whether the glaciers are three feet cold. Everyone and everything are in their own small world, looking for their own position, accepting their disappointments and embracing their imperfections.

When people fall, what they should do is not to envy others for running smoothly, not to complain about the uneven road, not to regret their disappointment, but to calm down and think about why they fell and how not to fall.

I suddenly felt relieved.

I began to think about why I didn't get into graduate school. I began to recover this year, and no effort was worth it. I got a substitute job in primary school and began to try to test the teacher establishment. Until the end of June, I quit my job and decided to stick to my dream and continue my graduate studies.

When the focus is only on yourself, the road ahead may not be easy, but it must be clear.

Now my life is very good. The building opposite has been completed and people have moved in one after another.

I entered the stage of waiting for the result again. Although everything is not smooth and perfect, it is also running on the right track.

If you feel sad at a certain moment, you might as well give yourself a chance to bow to reality and make peace with yourself.

Everyone has his own moon, which rises and falls alone.

Remember to be your own sun when the moon can't find light.

May we encourage each other.