What is the value of negative emotions?

I believe that most people will say "I want to be happy all the time", and some people may say that I want to be surprised and excited every day. Of course, some people who believe in Buddhism are more inclined to have a quiet and peaceful mood. In the final analysis, everyone wants to keep positive emotions every day, because positive emotions are good for our physical and mental health.

But we all know that emotions are not only positive, but also include a series of negative emotions such as depression, anger and shame. The existence is reasonable. Have you ever thought about the value of negative emotions?

afeared

Fear is a very strong emotion, and it is our feedback when facing some dangers. Fear usually comes and goes quickly. The greatest benefit of fear for us human beings is that it can help us avoid dangers, especially those that will cause physical harm.

For a simple example, why do most people feel very scared when they see snakes? Although snakes can't eat us, they are probably poisonous and may even bite us. Fear of snakes can help us better avoid potential dangers and ensure the safety of our lives. In addition, human fear of high altitude and loud noise is also very common, and these fears can also help us avoid harm. There is also a kind of fear that is common in today's society, and that is social fear. Dealing with strangers and speaking in front of many people are extremely nervous and anxious for people with social phobia. Some psychologists have pointed out that this social fear probably reflects people's submission behavior. For our ancestors, in the face of powerful opponents or superiors, the act of submission can effectively ensure their own safety. So social fear probably comes from a kind of self-protection, because they think they are in a low position in social interaction and have weak control ability.

It's not necessarily a good thing if you think you're not afraid of anything since you were a child. Many people are so fearless that they often end up dying of excitement. In the news, we often hear the news that the donkey friend did not climb the mountain according to the prescribed route and was finally crushed to death. Fear is useful. It helps us to avoid injury and repeat mistakes. Imagine you were hit by a hammer. Out of fear of pain, I will be more careful when using a hammer next time.

angry

Anger, like fear, is our reaction to a series of unpleasant things. When feeling hurt or offended, people will have a feeling of resisting or even hurting the offender, which is anger. Perhaps most people think that anger is destructive, but it does have its own function. Expressing anger to your friends, colleagues or partners appropriately means telling them that "your behavior/words hurt me, so don't do it again". Anger can make people better understand your bottom line and requirements, which is more conducive to maintaining good interpersonal relationships.

In addition, when we face certain situations, we will subjectively choose to express our anger, because it may be more conducive to our own goals. For example, when we are in business negotiations, expressing anger appropriately may play a deterrent role, so that the other party can listen to your request carefully and avoid perfunctory things.

Therefore, blindly forbearing can not effectively achieve the goal. Next time we feel offended, we might as well express our anger so that the other party can realize their mistakes and avoid the deterioration of the relationship.

broken-hearted

The death of a loved one, the separation of a lover, or the failure of starting a business will make us sad. Sorrow is our response to unspeakable loss. When we are faced with great losses, sad emotions, especially crying, can arouse the sympathy of people around us and get care and help. In addition to bringing comfort and help, many experimental studies have proved that when people are in a sad mood, they will process the received information more carefully and systematically.

For example, in the face of promotional advertisements, angry people will rely more on the salesman's manners to judge the information of goods, while sad people will judge the value of goods through the specific content they talk about.

In addition, sad emotions will make us more cautious in interpersonal communication. In the experiment of resource allocation, the researchers found that pleasant external stimuli would make participants more selfish, while making participants feel sad would make them allocate resources more fairly. Therefore, although sad mood will make us temporarily depressed, it will also make us cherish what we have now.

Embarrassment, guilt and shame

Embarrassment, guilt and shame have many similarities, and scientists generally believe that these three emotions can help us repair the relationship we have hurt. When we suddenly become the center of attention, we usually feel embarrassed and many people blush. Related research shows that blushing can actually help us regain the favor of others. Dijik(2009) once did an experiment in which participants were asked to read a story about someone making a mistake, and then the experimenter would show the participants some photos of people, whether they were blushing or not. The experimental results show that even if these people make the same mistakes, participants also say that they have a higher degree of affection for people who are "blushing". After knowing this, we might as well recall that when a person offended you, but later admitted his mistake to you, are you more tolerant of the blushing person and less willing to continue to embarrass him?

Guilt and shame have a lot in common. When you fail to live up to others' expectations or do something that hurts others, you may feel guilty and ashamed. However, guilt plays a more positive role in real life than shame. When we do something wrong and hurt others, guilt is more like a kind of self-punishment, which urges us to actively correct our mistakes, repair our relationship and avoid making the same mistakes again.

Shame can lead to self-denial, thinking that you are a "bad guy" and that you are worthless. Such negative emotions will not prompt us to correct our mistakes and improve our relationship, but will plunge us into an endless cycle of self-deprecation.

Therefore, some psychologists suggest that when parents educate their children after they make mistakes, they should make them feel guilty, let them realize their improper behavior, and try to correct them, instead of denying their character and personality, and make them feel ashamed and bad.

It can be seen that guilt is an emotion that is conducive to maintaining physical, psychological and social health. Imagine, if a person has never felt guilty, do you think he is selfish and never thinks of others?

Both positive and negative emotions can help us better adapt to life and face the challenges of life. Think about it from another angle. Can you feel these negative emotions? Doesn't that mean you are constantly trying new things and challenging your comfort zone?