After maternity leave, the 4-month-old baby was left unattended. Should I leave my job?

Well, I don't recommend full-time. First of all, the premise of full-time work is that the family has money and a carefree life. Husband's salary is high, and both parents sponsor him. Secondly, the job is unstable, the salary is low, and I have my own baby, but my parents also lend a helping hand. There is also a kind of job that is relatively stable, but it is a pity to give up. It is not recommended to be full-time.

I was born after 60, and my daughter was brought up by me. I work in a bank and my work is very busy. Husband is a soldier, and the two places are separated. I sent my daughter to the nursery and grew up behind her back. I am proud of my hard work.

Many colleagues and children are left unattended, some ask their aunts for help, and some ask their neighbors' old ladies and aunts for money to take care of them. I didn't give up my job.

I have a friend, she chose full-time, and her husband's salary is high. She has been accompanying her children to college and taking care of her son. When her son comes out for dinner, she is responsible for picking vegetables. Take good care of the children. Once, my husband and I quarreled, and he said, your social security depends on me. They have been playing for half a year. Because the family burden is borne by a man alone, it is inevitable that there will be complaints.

After the children go to college, she has to accompany them, but she looks forward to staying at home and being out of touch with society. Later, I found a job as a warehouse keeper. In fact, life is trembling.

Now, I think it may be difficult for me to take care of children because the only child is spoiled. However, some only children are also very strong. No one takes care of the baby and takes care of the child while working. These are two big mistakes. Give two small examples:

1. There is a girl in the public welfare post of my unit. She has no one to help with the children, and her husband has also been sent to work in other counties. When my daughter was young, she asked an old neighbor to look after her children. Send it to work in the morning and pick it up at night. Children go to kindergarten and take a taxi to pick them up in the morning and evening. Her salary is not high, but she feels that she goes to work regularly, can pay social security and medical insurance, and is very happy to talk and laugh with her colleagues on Sunday. Now my daughter is in primary school and is still busy commuting.

My little colleague's husband's father died young, and he was brought up by his aunt. The girl's mother didn't retire. No one took care of her when she gave birth to her eldest son. They hired a day nanny to take care of the children at her house during the day and her husband and wife at night. She soon gave birth to Bauer, also a boy. The older one goes to kindergarten, and the younger one is over one year old, and he is also looking for a day nanny to take care of him. Although the salary is not low, there is not much left every month.

If you have a job to pay social security and medical insurance, you have to pay it yourself if you are full-time. No pension, no security. Of course, taking children can also do self-media and open online stores, which is also very laborious and not easy.

Judging from the people who have experienced it, women are not financially independent, so it is difficult for them to ask for money, use it and take care of their parents. Husband makes money alone and still pays the mortgage? Don't have that much savings. The best thing you should think of now is:

1, find out the crux, the reason why both mothers can't help the children.

Is it far from home? Cann't get rid of it or it's awkward. Because, in our time, every family had many children and couldn't get away from it. Now, if both mothers don't retire, they really can't take care of them, but they will help no matter how much they retire. This is a generational relationship. Colleagues and classmates all leave their husbands at home and go to the children's homes in Beishangguang and other places to help look after the children, almost 100%.

2. Negotiate with your husband. If both mothers have time, you should try to do the work. It depends on whether relatives have time to help with the children or ask family members for help.

I have a husband and wife colleague. Their son has been taken care of by his husband and aunt from next month until he goes to kindergarten. Now children go to primary school.

Little brother's friend's wife and sister's children are brought up by her wife.

3. Find a qualified day nanny to take care of it.

4. Are there any retired aunts nearby? I know a patient and caring lady better. I can take care of her at home or at her home.

I have a friend and classmate who retired at the age of 50. She has nothing to do but learn to raise children. About 2500 a month, of course, in our town. Gentle and considerate. My daughter works in other places and is very happy at work every day.

Every family is different, depending on their own situation. My daughter is in the system. I can have a look if I can. If I can't stand it, I will give some money to someone to take care of it, or I will take care of it with my in-laws. This is helpful, but it's not. We have to find a way by ourselves. However, everyone thinks differently, and it is normal to support full-time work. However, it is best for children to go out to work when they are in kindergarten. I think it is very important for women to be financially independent.

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Don't go to a formal institution to hire a nanny for your children, even if your salary at work is only enough to pay the nanny's salary, you should go to work. If you are at home, you will become a nanny, out of touch with society, and the distance from your husband is getting bigger and bigger, which is easy to cause problems.

Before the child is three years old, it is the most critical time for his growth, and he needs his mother's company most. I suggest you leave your job temporarily and take care of the children wholeheartedly. At this stage, it is necessary to continuously develop children's intelligence and cultivate children's good habits of life and rest, which will help him (her) to grow up well in the future.

If you leave your child in the care of your parents, the child will feel insecure psychologically and even lead to autism in severe cases.

Would you feel at ease if you gave the child to the nanny? Besides, it costs a lot of money to hire a nanny. Can your economy bear it?

So I suggest you leave your job temporarily, concentrate on taking care of your children at home, accompany them and accompany them to grow up.

Don't think about your job until your child enters kindergarten after he is three years old.

This problem is a big problem that puzzles many treasure mothers. Let me talk about my situation!

There are two babies in my family. When I was born, I didn't have enough breast milk, so I fed my boss milk powder. A can of goat milk powder costs 398 yuan, which is close to 400 yuan. There is no father-in-law at home, and her mother-in-law is in poor health (heart problem). My husband is the only one who goes to work to make money, which is very stressful. I came out to work when the child was three months old. As a result, when the child was about one year old, he was not close to me and his father at all. I am over two years old now, and I don't like being with us very much.

As for my second treasure, I have been taking care of her at home full-time since birth. Now when I am one year old, I can't go anywhere without you, but because you have no income, you can't be the master of economic power. Everything you buy depends on other people's faces, and you have to do all the chores at home yourself.

In fact, it's better for you to take care of the children at home full-time, or to continue working by yourself. To put it bluntly, you want to give your children the best living environment. To tell the truth, I personally think it is better to raise children by myself if family conditions permit. Before the child is three years old, it is time to cultivate feelings with his parents. If family conditions don't allow it, that's another matter.

Don't leave your job easily, it depends on your specific situation. I'll give you a real example, and you can make a decision after reading it.

My friend Lili was taken care of by her mother when she was confined. After the maternity leave, her mother went back to her hometown to take care of her brother's children. Lily asked her grandmother to take care of the children, and her grandmother did business in her hometown, earning a good income. She doesn't want to stop her business. At that time, Li Li's salary was only 2600 yuan a month. If you hire a nanny, it's 2000 yuan a month, and it also includes food and accommodation. When the family felt that it was not cost-effective, they asked Lili to resign and take care of the children at home. When the child was three years old, Li Li's husband also resigned from the unit and went back to his hometown to start a large battlefield with others. Children need special transportation to go to kindergarten. Lili's husband told her to continue to be a full-time wife. Li Li is only given 2000 yuan for living expenses every month. Sometimes, when the child is ill, he asks her husband for more money. Her husband is still angry, saying that it is not easy for him to find money. Tell Lili to save it. Lili's grandmother also said that Lili was at home all day, unable to eat or even take care of a child.

Li Li often complains to me. At that time, our unit had just recruited a worker, who was deducted five risks every month at a salary of 1500. We can spend time picking up the children from school instead of going to work on time as before. But Lili's husband said that Lili's income was so low that she was embarrassed not to go. He also told Lili that one day, he would be rich, and let Lili take care of her children at home. In the future, when he is rich, he will give Lili and her mother a good life.

Seeing that Lili listened to her husband's words, our friends were very angry. Everyone said that she was mentally retarded, and that she still obeyed her husband's orders in this era, and she cried without tears. Lili told us that she believed in her husband, who would be rich in the future and would definitely give their mother and daughter a good life. A friend asked her what to do if her husband's business failed. Li Li said no, her birthday was auspicious and she was rich. A friend saw Li Li say this and shook his head beside him, saying that men are reliable and sows can climb trees. This is a friend's words. Male compatriots don't be angry with me when they see this.

In the first two years of Lili's old war, business was very good. We ask Lili and her husband to get more money every month, change a good house, or get more food for emergencies. However, Lili's husband only gives 2,000 yuan for food every month. If the child is ill in hospital, only those medical expenses will be added. Her husband said that he would continue to do big business and the house would not be changed for the time being.

A few years ago, I heard that Lili's husband bought a piece of land of more than 200 square meters in his hometown and built a four-story house. I heard that the owner's name is her family's. Because that piece of land is collective land, only the village hukou can buy land to build a house, and Li Li's husband has transferred the hukou to the unit, so the house can only go through various related procedures in the name of Jia Gong.

Five years ago, Li Li called me and asked if my company wanted temporary workers, but at that time she was 38 years old and our company was full. According to friends, Lili's husband's business failed, and there was no way to give her food expenses, so he had to come out and look for a job. Being a full-time wife for ten years, I am out of touch with society. Although she has a college degree, she is old. A good unit despises her and has to work for the boss of a private enterprise, with a monthly salary of about 3,000, without five insurances.

Two years ago, I heard from a friend that Lili was divorced and her daughter was hers. She only got the small one-bedroom apartment she lives in now, and nothing else. The property rights of the buildings in the town belong to the family, and Lili has no share.

Before Li Li gave birth to a child, she was a state-owned enterprise and belonged to a special industry. Female employees can go through retirement formalities at the age of 45, and each employee has a pension of about 2,800 yuan. However, after Li Li resigned, she did not continue to pay social security fees, so there was nothing. Nowadays, children need money to study, without a fixed income, and life is very hard. Her parents are very angry with her.

Li Li also regrets, but there is no regret medicine to sell in the world. People who have no long-term worries will have near worries!

When the baby was 4 months old, I took him back to her mother's house and found a job there. The salary is very low, 1500 yuan for a month, but I still have a job. In the countryside, this money is enough for me and my children's daily expenses.

Don't underestimate this salary. With this money, I have a basic sense of security and enough self-confidence. At least I don't have to be a hand-holding party and ask my husband for money. Although he is willing to give it, I don't want it. I have enough food and clothes myself.

Last year, the Double Eleven spent 3000 yuan and bought a lot of things. If I have no job and no income, can I buy it? Although all I buy are practical things, when I have no job, others will not think that you are saving money or praising you for keeping a house, but will think that you are a prodigal bitch.

A few souls will torture you first, and then decide whether to resign or not.

First, is your husband's income enough to support your family's expenses? After resigning, the quality of life will be reduced, is the economic pressure great?

Second, what does your husband think of your resignation as a stay-at-home mother? For or against?

Third, is there any other feasible plan besides resigning?

Fourth, are you ready to be a full-time mother? Taking care of a baby is a very tiring thing. Don't turn yourself into a dissatisfied housewife at a young age.

If you think about the above points clearly, you will know whether you should resign.

I'm Jin Yuer. I hope my answer is helpful to you.

I don't recommend resigning. I gave up my job for my children. After eight years, I can't re-enter the society. My mother-in-law is distressed that I have become a housewife, but my husband thinks that the child is mine and should be brought by himself. My husband always thought that I was raised by him and went home like an uncle every day!

Find a Yue Yue who stays at home full time. I have two neighbors who are at work. Yue Yue has been taking care of these children for over a year. It's good to often go out and see Yue Yue walking with her children.

The landlord has a mortgage at home, and the father's job is very important. Old people can't help, it seems that only Ma Bao is left. What shall we do? There are only two ways. First, Ma Bao quit her job to take care of her children. The second is to find a parenting sister-in-law to take care of the children full-time.

Here we need to weigh the pros and cons, make the best choice, and carefully analyze the financial situation at home.

1, if the elderly can't help them, can they be given financial support? If they can support the cost of raising a young aunt, then I suggest raising a young aunt.

2, the elderly don't take it, and their wages can afford to take care of their children, so please don't leave the workplace or ask someone to take it.

3, the old man doesn't bring it, and the salary is not high, but the husband's salary is high. After paying off the mortgage, he has the money to hire a childcare sister-in-law, and it is not bad to hire a childcare sister-in-law.

4, the old man does not take it, and the salary is not high. The husband's salary has to pay off the mortgage, which is only enough for the family's living expenses, so Ma Bao is still at home with his children at ease. After all, children grow up only once, and if they miss it, they will miss it forever.

All the above are personal opinions, I hope I can help you!

If conditions permit, I suggest looking for a nanny to bring it, and I can bring it myself at night. Although the early stage is bitter, the children will always grow up, and full-time mothers are really under great pressure.

I also worked full-time for many years. During the period, I also came to work for more than half a year and went home at noon and night. The old people at home still complain every day, and my husband hates my low salary. Later, I couldn't help but say that my body was not allowed to take it, and it was inevitable to resign and take care of my baby.

Now the baby is almost three years old, and I am at work again. My husband took it to work during the day. He said he couldn't take care of it and sent it to kindergarten.

I feel that my thinking has changed since I went to work. Although the salary is not high, I have to take my baby home, but my mentality is very relaxed. There are five insurances and one gold after work. When my children grow up, I can take care of my own life. If I have been taking care of them full-time, I feel more anxious, anxious for my future and anxious for my old age.