If you were asked to write a letter to your parents now, what would you do?

You are people who have a far-reaching influence on my life. Perhaps many of my feelings are also due to your incomprehension and disapproval. I know it is difficult for one person to fully understand and recognize another person, even between parents and children, and it is even more difficult to ask others to do so. But I still hope that we can understand and accept each other.

You said you wanted me to do the right thing and do what my peers did, which was for my own good. When your child suddenly degenerates to an extremely childish level, I know and understand your feelings as a parent. I will be anxious about this, just like a flower that has been waiting for 20 years and suddenly has no result.

Why don't I want to continue to move smoothly along the designed curve? Smooth and reassuring. But I do encounter some obstacles at this stage, and I hope we can all look at them with an inclusive and open mind. Many things and truths that we haven't experienced and seen don't mean that they don't exist or are wrong. Many things and truths that we know and are familiar with now are correct not because they are understood and used by us. Say something that may make you unhappy: sometimes I think, because you are parents, what you said to me must be correct, and what is "good" for me must be suitable for me and what I want? I am carefully comparing the information you provided to me with the information I obtained from the outside world.

My heart knot, as my mother said, can only be opened by my own efforts. It is uncomfortable and shameful to look back on the past and uncover the scars, but I think it is also a matter of courage and worth it: to constantly examine what has happened, what is being experienced and what will happen in the future with new ideas and development eyes.

If I have a child, I shouldn't make him/her feel that it is not worthwhile and shameful to explore the world, the unknown and myself. Any emotion, any state deserves respect. If not respected, it will turn into a sense of shame. I think a more appropriate way of education is to let children have the courage and confidence to choose what they want to do. I think, you also want me to grow up to be a person who has his own opinion and makes life choices and is responsible for it, rather than a person who always listens to parents, leaders and authorities without independent thinking.

Thank you for everything you have done for me. Anyway, you have given me the best you can. I think it's easy for me to stand and talk, and I don't know the hardships of not being a parent. And I am also responsible for my own life, which is not the responsibility of others, including you.

As a child to treat parents, I think I have been more considerate and sensible. I don't know if you feel it. No matter what choice you make, I will either support it or be neutral (without judging), because I know that you are free to make the choice you want and live the life you want. However, why is my choice always questioned and denied by you? Can you give me support to do what I want to do and make my own choice? I have to admit that your attitude is very important to me. If I get your understanding and recognition, I will get support, security and confidence to continue doing this. But what if you don't understand and don't accept? I will be ashamed, yes, if I don't understand and obey, I won't be accepted. If I am not accepted, I will feel ashamed that I don't deserve to be loved. Well, it's painful and uncomfortable. However, I hope this cycle pattern will be changed in my generation. I must overcome or learn to put up with this sense of shame. I must continue to do what I expect.

I know you have done your best to support and educate me. I also want you to know that I have tried my best to respect, understand and love you. But there are no perfect parents and no perfect children. Everyone's cognitive level, living environment and even fate are different, so you can't ask others to understand you. But I hope we can all understand and accept each other as much as possible. Long live understanding.

Finally, mom, you said something I especially agree with: You and I are relatives, three independent individuals, and we all have our own lives where we meet. Recently, I have always realized that to write a story that happened in the same time and space, several people have several versions of this story. Everyone has the right to pursue happiness and should choose and be responsible for their own life. Making choices that are conducive to your own happiness should be respected and recognized, and should not be criticized and accused by others. Respect the people around you, because that's your choice. Respect human nature, because there is no way to fight against human nature. Dad, mom, no matter what you choose before or after, I respect your choice and I love you.

Finally, finally, I want to say that I tried to push you away, pushing away those seemingly unpleasant past, feeling that it never happened as long as I didn't admit it happened. But now I think it's just a part of the past, and I should accept it and belong to my life. If you don't accept the past, you won't accept your life. I hope we can all accept ourselves and each other. It doesn't matter if you can't accept it temporarily. Accepting yourself includes accepting or not accepting yourself. . . Ha ha ha, I'm dizzy ~