The "broken off" between relatives in rural areas is being staged. What is the reason? How to solve it?

"Breaking off diplomatic relations" is only the surface, and interests are the black hand. In today's society, materialistic, brothers pay attention to clear accounts, not to mention relatives who are already a little far away.

There are two reasons for breaking off diplomatic relations:

1. Distance: At present, the neighbors in front of the house seldom meet each other several times a year. If relatives are far away, usually busy with work and trivial matters, they will probably stop walking and visiting every year, and then they will gradually alienate each other.

2. Interests: People's hearts and bellies are separated, and interests are paramount. If the interests of relatives are involved, minutes will definitely be embarrassing. I have seen with my own eyes that two brothers in our village have made a fuss over a little profit, and everyone in the village knows it. Therefore, the interests are in hand, and whoever cares about his brother is the one who has to support a large family. Parents are still a little restrained, and parents are not as good as strangers.

There are two solutions:

1. Smooth: Smooth people often handle interpersonal relationships well, not only being praised by others, but also suffering.

2. Honesty: Although honesty is a derogatory term now, isn't honesty the spirit of taking a step back? Take a step back and do your own thing.

Tell me more about my "broken" relatives. I went to my parents' house to visit relatives this year, and the family was cooking and chatting. My brother's phone rang, saying that he was my aunt's son and that I was not allowed to visit relatives this year. Their brothers and sisters didn't come back from other places, and my uncle was afraid that it would be difficult to entertain them when they came back. When I came back, I came to my mother. After a few pleasantries, I hung up the phone and told my father the contents of the phone. My father seems very angry. Last year was the same excuse, that is, I didn't want to walk around without your aunt. I didn't visit my relatives the year before last. I called last year not to let me pay a New Year call. That was a special situation during the epidemic. This year, I don't want to let go again. Don't you want to break up? This is a disgrace to the younger generation now. I also advised my dad that he might just be too busy to come back, and you are all in your seventies and eighties, for fear that it would be inconvenient for you to walk around. My dad said it wasn't like that. It turns out that when my aunt was here, the two old people often walked around on holidays. Since my aunt died, my parents went to my uncle's house. My uncle is old and needs an old belt to come, so he has never been to my house again. Last year, I heard that my uncle was not feeling well. When my parents visited him, my uncle cried like a crybaby, saying that he missed my father and my uncle, but he was too old to move. Later, my father came to see my uncle on a tricycle, and sometimes he took my uncle to see him. They don't pay attention to the quality of food, don't treat them well, and don't choose a bowl of noodles. They just want to chat, chat. In their words, I don't know if there is any chance to see this side again! That's why my dad is so angry. While explaining that he would not go in the coming year, he asked my brother to help him inquire about the plaster, saying that it would be much better for people with low back pain to put it on and wanted to bring it to my uncle. I'm still muttering that I won't come to him, and whether I go or not doesn't count. On the fifth day, he and my mother went to see my uncle, and when passing through town, they also bought hot meat boxes, roast chicken and eight-treasure porridge for three people.

In fact, if you think about your cousin, you definitely don't want to break up. He and his wife are both ordinary office workers. They always have a few days off. His wife is from other places. They have to run on both sides during the Spring Festival, and there is no one at home all the year round. It will take a day or two to clean up. He is the only child who came to my cousin's house, and it will take a few days for my relatives to finish it. Also busy enough to receive. An old relative is coming today, and he won't be free tomorrow. So it's not that the younger generation is unfilial and doesn't know how to kiss, but it's really helpless! Coupled with the frequent contact of young people on WeChat, I don't think it's a big deal to get together during the Spring Festival. But old people in their seventies and eighties are different. If this is broken, what do you think is the reason?

Money makes people more and more indifferent and selfish. If you earn a hundred dollars, you can save five dollars and give him one besides your own expenses. Instead of thanking you, he will resent you for not giving him ten dollars, because he thinks that you have earned one hundred dollars, and ten dollars is Mao Mao Rain to you.

It's incredible that relatives can cut off their supply for 8000 yuan. Have you ever heard of such a thing? I have experienced all these things personally.

On 20 15, my brother contracted 40 mu of land to plant seabuckthorn seedlings. Because his own funds are not enough to borrow money from relatives, my cousin borrowed 5000 and my cousin borrowed 3000. At that time, my cousins lent it to my brother for the sake of relatives and friends, with no interest.

At that time, my cousin also moved the truth and lent it to my brother without interest. My brother was really touched. After all, my cousin showed his true feelings and helped my brother. It's very touching to think about it now.

I planted seabuckthorn seedlings on 20 mu of land and invested 65438+ 10,000 yuan. At that time, my family gave him 50 thousand, so I borrowed some from my relatives and friends, and the investment money was in place. In the first year, I bought three yuan of thorn fruit seedlings and ten thousand yuan of thorn fruit seedlings, planted thorn fruit seedlings in this 654.38+05 mu of land, and left five mu of land to cultivate small seabuckthorn seedlings.

Cultivating small seabuckthorn seedlings, using sand as sand table and sprinkler irrigation with water pipes all need investment. However, the young seabuckthorn seedlings have to wait for two volts, and the seabuckthorn seedlings planted this year are pruned and transplanted into seabuckthorn trays. The survival rate of transplanted seedlings is 70%, so it is good not to be completely annihilated.

After the first year's seedlings were sold, they didn't make any money, just a plus or minus zero. In the second year, we have to invest in planting seedlings, so we transplant them circularly and sell big seedlings when we grow up. After this lasted for more than two years, due to their poor management, they lost 654.38 million yuan.

The 50,000 yuan I voted for him also went to Shui Piao, but he borrowed money from relatives and friends and was always unable to repay it. He had no choice but to work to earn money and pay back his friends' money, but he was in a hurry for money, so I made some advances for him and paid off some debts for him. After all, he is my brother.

His friends are really interesting. They all encouraged him. Don't worry about owing money to his friends. My brother is really happy to allow him to work slowly to earn money. After all, he made some friends when he was young and could still help him when he was in trouble.

But the more interesting my friends are, the more guilty my brother is. He earns 4,000 to 5,000 yuan a month and can pay back 20,000 yuan a year for his living expenses. He can pay off these debts in two or three years, not including my 50 thousand or 60 thousand. This arrangement is really good. As long as he pays off the debt, I will be happy.

But unexpected things happened, and relatives and friends began to ask for debts. My cousin and my cousin called my brother's house directly and forced them to pay back the money. They really didn't have any money in their pockets at that time, and they didn't have any money after several excuses, but my cousin insisted on going to my brother's house to ask for debts.

My cousin goes to my brother's house every three days. When he got there, he didn't say anything, and my brother understood that this is called "bones don't hurt, meat hurts." Wouldn't it be better if relatives were friends and didn't give my brother any face? Every time he went to see my brother, he asked them for help, explained the reason to them, said that planting seabuckthorn seedlings really lost money, and told them to save lives and send Buddha to the West.

At first, they helped my brother kindly, and my brother was very moved, but no one wanted to fail in the investment. As long as we get through this, everything can pass, but they have to pay back the money slowly, and they have never agreed. My brother really made them miserable.

Later, they poked all these things into the circle of relatives and friends. I have no choice but to take the responsibility and tell them that my relatives who owe money have come to see me. I have the money to pay my brother back. When my cousin heard the news, he came to my house to ask for money. It seems that he is really short of money and will not give me face.

There is no way to withdraw 10000 yuan from the bank and return this 8000 yuan to him. He took the 8000 yuan and left without looking, but I saw my cousin checking the wiring in the car under the window. Can we still give them fake money?

I didn't see them for the next few days, especially their boss. His boss thinks his relatives are all broken, but my brother spends money every time they have something to do and stays with them, but they still haven't contacted us.

I don't think it's worth breaking a family relationship for this 8000 yuan, but it's really broken.

I have three suggestions: relatives should trust each other, and there is no hurdle in the past.

First, since all the borrowers are real relatives and friends, otherwise it is impossible to lend him money and give his relatives a buffer.

Second, after the failure of relatives and friends, don't make it worse. Don't rush to pay back the money. Relatives and friends will be moved for a lifetime and will pay you back as soon as they have money.

Third, don't borrow money at all, so as to avoid unpleasant things in the future, and it won't cause the disconnection of relatives.

To maintain family ties and even social relations between people, in addition to daily maintenance, we need an environment in which people live together.

I remember when I was a child, in the 1980s, I visited my relatives. Many villages are still visiting relatives with their uncles, commonly known as old relatives, that is, the fourth generation is still visiting relatives. If we look at the rural living environment at that time, we will find that. At that time, the pace of people's life was very slow, and the productivity was not the same as it is now. People have time and need to better maintain the relationship between relatives in rural areas and help each other. For example, whoever builds a house and engages in agricultural production, relatives will send people to help, and they will reciprocate and need each other. In this way, the relationship between relatives has been well maintained in daily life, so the relationship between relatives can be traced back to ancient times.

When the living environment between people changes, so does the living environment between relatives. Then, blood relationship is really unsustainable. Many rural people, because of school, part-time jobs and other relations, have gradually opened the physical distance from their relatives and friends, and are no longer at the same level of life. Then, the relationship between relatives, except ties, is not maintained in daily life and is easy to get cold.

In this case, the more serious the population loss, the more obvious the "tide of breaking relatives". Because people work all over the world and don't see each other several times a year. Without the living environment, it is even more difficult to maintain relatives. In the economically developed rural areas, because people can make a living locally, the living conditions between relatives are superior, the "breaking off tide" is not serious, and the culture of relatives and friends is more prosperous.

It can be seen that to solve the "broken tide" between some rural relatives, from a small point of view, relatives need to work together; In a big way, the best way is to have a "* * *" environment between relatives. For example, I have the ability to lead my relatives and friends to get rich together; Another example is to help the economic development of hometown, create more employment opportunities in the local area and reduce the outflow of population. Then, relatives and friends live under the same roof all the year round, and the relationship between relatives is convenient, which can greatly reduce the occurrence of "broken relatives".

At present, the kinship in rural areas is constantly alienating. The main reason is that urbanization and new rural construction have increased the distance between people's places of residence. Young people make a living far away, and their working hours are tight. Older people are too old to walk, and most of them have poor accommodation conditions. The more important reason is that people are becoming more and more strangers, and even brothers and sisters may not meet for several years, and telephone contact is getting less and less.

In the past, the first generation of relatives, the second generation of representatives, the third generation and the fourth generation were still running, but now the first generation of relatives, the second generation, the third generation and the fourth generation are all gone.

It is the development of society, the temptation and misleading of interests, the strong concept of time, the busy working hours, the heavy pressure of life, each with its own difficulties and troubles, the indifference of human feelings and the negative impact of negative education. In the final analysis, it is the social impact of social-oriented social education.

How to solve it? It will be difficult to solve for a while, and it will be difficult to solve for a year or two. It is a long-term process, which must start with education, including school education, parent education and the correct guidance of society. In the final analysis, we should return to moral, intellectual and physical education, and we should not rely on the temptation of interests to mislead or indoctrinate.

This situation has always existed, but in the past, there was not enough food and few people had spare eggs, and no one paid attention to this phenomenon. Since the problem of food and clothing has been solved, many people who are idle and hurt themselves pretend to study to show their depth.

Rural relatives, break off diplomatic relations. The most fundamental reason is economic reasons. One side is poor and the other side is rich. This is what I have experienced. My family is a family with many children. I have two sisters, my parents are farmers, my father has four, one brother and two sisters, both of whom are rural families and not very rich! There are six children on my mother's side. I have three aunts and two uncles. Their economic situation is much better than ours, and everyone has money! Ten years ago, my family experienced the darkest year of my life. My sister and I both went to college in other places. At the end of August, I suddenly got a call from home. My father is in a coma because of a cerebral infarction. When I got to the hospital, my father was already in the ICU. Why should I save my father? I called all my relatives, went to their house to beg, and borrowed money to treat my father. Come down and run around. Only my second uncle gave me a lot of money. Other relatives gave me 500 1000, and some were even poorer than us. I really felt it at that time. No one asked me if I was poor in the city. I was rich in the mountains and had distant relatives. Because of my family, my sister and I are both in college, and my family is already very poor. If my father can't cure me, I will lose all my money! So relatives are afraid to lend it to us, and they can't afford it. At that time, I can't forget the feeling of not doing it every day, and I can't forget it all my life. Finally, there was no money for treatment, so I had to take my father home. I was in a coma at home for three months, but I still left us. After father left, these relatives stopped seeing each other on holidays.

Through this incident, I feel that the affection between relatives is determined by economic conditions. If you have money, they will naturally go for you. When you are poor, they will leave you one by one. I get angry when I think about it. I resent them for not lending me money. Later, slowly with the growth of age. I've been through a lot and I'm not angry. It's all about living. When you are in trouble, it is people's duty to help you, but it is their duty not to help you. They don't owe you. You give me a foot, I will give you a foot! If they are still willing to go, I will go.