A chilling copy of a cold joke

1. A man accidentally fell while walking. He just climbed a few steps and fell down again, so he said to himself, "If I had known I would fall down again, I wouldn't have got up just now."

One day Xiao Ming was hungry, so he turned on the air conditioner, because the air conditioner had the function of dehumidifying (eating).

Today, on the roadside, a girl came over and looked like a college student. If you want to ask the way, come up and call: uncle. Shit, I ... ...

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Ten haven't, where like an uncle? So I clenched my fists: Sister-in-law, what's the matter?

4. A shipyard applied for a job and asked, "Will it be lonely to work at sea for many years?" Ordinary young people answer: "Not lonely"; Literary youth: "What is wider than the sea is the sky, and what is wider than the sky is the human mind."

2b Youth: "I am a man who wants to be the king of pirates"

Fishing by the lake, my buddy asked me, "How big is the biggest fish you caught?" "Have you seen the movie Jaws?" "yes." "It is about the size of a dvd box."

6. GREAT GHOST: The intimidation plan didn't work last night! The child complained that it was all your fault. You didn't choose a place to scare people, so why go to a massage parlor for the blind!

Seven. Two young women are chatting. "I found a good way to cut onions without tears." "Really?" Tell me how to cut it? " "Let my husband cut it."

Eight. An athlete went to eat and saw a big plate of soup on the dining table, only a peanut was floating on it. He immediately stood up and undressed. When his companion asked him what was going on, he replied, "I'm going to jump into the plate and play water polo."

Nine. Old man: I

Have four sons.

Three are MBA students. Friend: No.

What is four? Old man: He never went to school and became a thief. Friend: Then you can't kick him out of the house? Old man: Get rid of him? He is the only one who makes money.

X.A.: What do blacks fear most? I don't know. What is this? A: Chocolate. B: Why? A: for fear of biting your hand?

1 1. When a mother was sorting out drawers, she said plaintively to her older unmarried daughter, "Why don't you steal someone's household registration?"

12. A patient said to the doctor, "I always feel like a hen. It has been half a year! " Doctor: "Ah! It's been six months. Why didn't you come earlier? Patient: Because I want to eat eggs! "

13. The goalkeeper said to the players of his team, "You know, when I was guarding the goal, I often thought that it would be great if the ball could become as big as the goal and the goal could become as small as the ball ..."

Fourteen. One night, I went to the squid barbecue stall to buy a barbecue. There are several people waiting in line in front, and so am I. At this time, an old woman passed by with a child in her arms, and the child cried for squid. The old woman said, we don't eat that. It smells like Baba.

15. Friend: "Did you sell any works in this exhibition?" Painter: "No, but I am encouraged because someone stole one."

Sixteen years old. My grandmother lived to be 100 years old, so I especially hope to take her genes with me. Get up every day and look in the mirror for a long time, looking for our similarities, and finally find that the biggest similarity is that … none of them look good.

17. The owner was awakened by a thief while sleeping. Master: Put everything down! Thief: But half of these things are taken from others.

18. A: "If there is a serious car accident, there is only one breath left. Before you die, pick up your hand and call your mother or wife?" B: "I have to delete the photos and messages in it first."

19. A man told reporters: Do you know the fragrance of mango Taiwan? I once kissed her on the mouth. Subsequently, the reporter asked Li Xiang about this matter in the program. Li Xiang was in a hurry: He kissed me on the mouth? ! He's bragging, b!

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10. The foreman said discontentedly to the new worker, "You are slow in doing things, walking and thinking. I really don't understand. What are you doing? " The new worker quickly replied, "I'm tired."