Talking about sleeping in separate beds

Sleep in separate beds, neither too early nor too late.

Most parents always want their children to be independent and think that they can sleep in separate beds, but they never thought it would be so difficult to sleep in separate beds.

The mother of a nearly 3-year-old child said that she wanted her son to be independent, so she began to try to sleep in separate beds with him. She thought her kindness turned into malice.

On the first night, when the couple were about to turn off the lights and go to bed, the son knocked on the door from time to time, not because his toy superman was in his mother's room, but because he saw a small cockroach crawling into his mother's room ... Dad said to the door, go to sleep quickly, don't think that this little thought is trying to fool people, or you will be spanked if you don't go back. Then I didn't hear my son's voice. I think I'm going back to my room.

The next morning, I opened the door and found my son curled up in front of his parents' room, sleeping soundly. It turned out that he dragged a small mat, a small pillow and a small quilt out of the room in the middle of the night ... My mother suddenly cried and my father's eyes were wet. Is it because parents are too cruel or children are too smart? The bed separation plan that started almost half a week ended in failure!

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Why do you want to sleep in separate beds with your baby?

? Sleeping in separate beds makes babies more independent.

A mother said that her daughter is five years old this year, but she has been reluctant to sleep by herself and always sleeps with her parents. She always said that she slept alone, fearing that there would be big bad guys. It turns out that my colleagues have been sleeping with the child since she was born.

Parents sleep with their children for a long time, which is easy to cause children to be too dependent. Many children are afraid to sleep alone, even in the middle and senior grades of primary school. Some parents think that this is a trivial matter and there is no need to pay too much attention to it. In fact, children's memories of childhood are accumulated through small things. For a child, what happened at the age of 1~3 has a great influence on his brain development. Let the child sleep alone, face the darkness alone, and learn to deal with negative emotions such as fear and loss by himself, which can make him independent in all aspects.

? Babies who share a bed with adults are prone to waste gas.

Many parents like to let their children sleep among adults, which is actually the place with the worst air. A lot of oxygen was taken away by parents, but the exhaled carbon dioxide and other waste gases were recycled by the baby. The baby may be in a small environment where oxygen is insufficient and carbon dioxide will die all night. The crowded space is not conducive to the stretching of the child's body during sleep. Sleep is very important for children's growth and development, and fresh air contributes to the growth and development of the brain and body.

There is also that mom and dad or the baby will turn over several times when they sleep at night. Sharing a bed will definitely have an impact, and children may even be in danger of being crushed by adults.

It's not a question of whether to sleep in separate beds, it's a matter of time.

? Sleeping in a bed for a long time is not good for children's growth.

Many mothers complain that the child is seven years old, but he still doesn't want to sleep alone. Parents are very helpless about this.

Some parents blindly compromise and insist on sleeping with their children, which is actually very unfavorable to their growth. First, it is easy for children to lose their interpersonal skills, and second, it has a bad influence on children's sexual psychological development.

A child can tell whether it is a boy or a girl when he is about 3 years old. At this time, they already have a preliminary gender consciousness, and their psychology is at an important stage of development. If you sleep in the same bed with your parents for a long time, it may breed Oedipus or Oedipus complex, leading to children's lack of self-love and self-discipline in the future, and even form sexual identity barriers.

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At what age is it best to sleep in separate beds?

Generally speaking, parents can slowly try to sleep in separate beds with their children from the age of 3, and it is more appropriate to complete this process before the age of 5, but it is a bit late to sleep in separate rooms after attending primary school.

0 1. Influence of premature sleeping in separate rooms on children

Children who are too young to sleep separately from their parents will feel insecure and may feel abandoned by their mothers. In addition, babies under 3 years old are afraid of sleeping without their parents because they have no ability to live independently, which will affect their personality and communication skills.

"When to sleep in separate rooms with children, there is no standard answer, but it is not good to be too early or too late." Don't consider sleeping in separate rooms until the child is at least 3 years old. Children who are too young to sleep in separate rooms with their parents will damage their sense of security. If a child is separated from his mother before the age of 3, he may think that his mother is gone or abandoned by her, thus breaking his heart.

For children under 3 years old, losing their mother is a terrible thing because they have no ability to live independently. When children grow up, they may lack self-confidence and security, be suspicious and have no ability to trust others.

"Why do some children have a favorite thing before they are 3 years old, such as a doll or a towel?" This is because children of this age have not formed a complete mother image in their minds, so in the child's subconscious, this doll or towel is a symbol of the mother, and sleeping with it can ensure that the mother will not leave. Therefore, even if it is old and dirty, it is difficult for you to take it away from the children. Therefore, it is a terrible thing for children before the age of 3 to sleep in separate rooms with their parents.

02. Sleeping in separate rooms with children too late may make children suffer from mental illness?

"Similarly, it is too late to sleep in separate rooms with children. Children may suffer from some mental illness or psychological problems when they grow up." Such as anxiety or neurosis, personality disorder, maladjustment, psychosexual disorder and interpersonal difficulties.

Because 4-6 years old is the budding period of sex, careful parents will find that children's sexual behavior is relatively active during this period, such as touching genitals and pinching thighs. Children are beginning to realize the gender differences between men and women. If they sleep too late in separate rooms with their parents, it will have an impact on their mental health. There was a child 10 years old who slept in separate rooms with his parents, which caused the child to behave strangely, such as often secretly soiling his sister's underwear.

in fact

When do you sleep in separate rooms with your children?

There is no standard answer.

But it is not good to be too early or too late

So what should we do?

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Cui Yutao suggested that babies sleep in separate beds.

? Newborns are advised to sleep with their parents.

Expert: Newborns lack a sense of security in the world and need parents' care. I suggest sleeping with my parents.

? 1 year-old still needs to sleep with his parents.

Expert: 1 year-old babies often have problems such as sleeping at night, eating night milk and getting sick. I suggest sleeping with my parents.

? 2-3 years old can try to let children sleep alone.

Expert: this stage can be guided according to the child's mental development and acceptance, and can't be forced.

? 4-5 years old, it is best to let the children sleep alone.

Expert: 4-5 years old is the key moment for children to form independent thoughts. In order to cultivate children's loneliness, it is recommended that children sleep alone.

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Six tips for sleeping in separate rooms with children

1. Starting from separate beds, there is no room.

Children who are used to sleeping in the same bed with their mothers will feel insecure and prone to fear if they sleep alone too soon. At the beginning, the mother can separate the bed from the room and let the children adapt and transition slowly.

Don't lock the door when the children are separated.

If possible, the mother can open the door when she sleeps, so that the child can be within her sight, so as to observe the child's situation at any time. Even if you can't do this, don't lock the door when the mother is sleeping, so that the child can't come in at any time in the middle of the night and let the child sleep more at ease.

3. Put toys and bedding that children are familiar with on the bed.

Letting children sleep alone in the new room at once may make them feel strange and uneasy. Mothers can arrange their children's toys in the room and spread the bedding that children usually use. Being accompanied by familiar things can eliminate loneliness and help children fall asleep.

4. Sleep in the children's room and tell stories before going to bed.

Before the mother goes to bed, it is best to accompany her in the children's room, telling stories, playing small games and whispering to the children, so that the children can feel that even if they are separated, the mother still loves their mother, and she is still the beloved child, which is more conducive to them accepting the fact that they sleep separately from their mother.

Fixed sleep time

Usually fix the time for children to sleep, so that children can develop regular work and rest, and children are more likely to fall asleep. Remember to pee before going to bed to prevent children from waking up in the middle of the night and increase fear. Don't beat and scold children before going to bed, and don't let them watch too intense TV or games. Keep a calm mood, children sleep better.

6. Make a small agreement with your children.

For sleeping in separate rooms, mothers can make an agreement with their children in advance. For example, if the child is sick or sad, he can come back to sleep with his mother. He must abide by this rule at ordinary times. No foul is allowed without special circumstances. Otherwise, if the mother repeatedly fouls because she is soft-hearted, it will lead to more points and less points.

For parents, the biggest obstacle to sleeping in separate beds with their children is that they are not at ease with their children, worried that their children will catch cold, get scared, fall out of bed and so on.

Moreover, it is not so convenient to take care of the baby in the crib at night, and it is very troublesome to hug it when feeding.

Many mothers actually don't want to be separated from their babies too early. After all, they can only spend a few years with their babies. It is really difficult to separate beds at the age of three or four. But for the sake of children, don't be reluctant to sleep in separate beds with children. Children always grow up in separation again and again, so the separation between bed and room is not just as simple as "sleeping in separate rooms". It is a growing experience for children, and parents must take it seriously!

May every child become a brave and healthy child!