Regretful ending

A person will experience two deaths, one is the disappearance of his body, and the other is that no one in this world will remember you anymore.

This is a novel that I deleted immediately after reading it.

A few days ago, under the recommendation of an ordinary friend, I saw the first novella Snow Country by Japanese writer Yasunari Kawabata, and I started reading it for the first time yesterday.

After reading it for the first time, although I skipped three or four lines, I still failed. I don't understand the basic writing, let alone the theme.

I read an e-book without introduction. Each chapter of the novel has no title, and then the description of time and reference between the lines is vague, and the dialogue between the characters is not very neat. I'm sure I haven't read it and know nothing about it. Even if I read it word for word for the first time, I can't see the meaning of the so-called book.

After reading it for the first time, all I could think about was a rich second generation cheating on his wife and children, and then the woman became attached to him. He is only a little sympathetic and irresponsible.

I can't help it. Get some sleep and get up and have a look.

I watched it for the second time in three hours, and I was full of sadness and endless reverie about the ending. I live in this era, feel the information transmitted to us by the world today, and talk about this book with respect.

There are many independent and systematic contents in the book. It can reflect the yearning and struggle of people with humble status to pursue a better life; It can be explained that people with rich material life and extremely empty spiritual life are indifferent and indifferent to love and being loved.

Komako is a humble geisha. She was sold to Tokyo when she was a teenager, and was later rescued by her master. She taught her to dance, speak the piano and earn money by performing arts. She thought her life was getting better, but the master's son was seriously ill and the master had a stroke. In order to help her master's son cure the disease, she had to give up hope for a better life and become a geisha.

When she first met Shimamura, it happened at that time, and Komako was not a geisha. The book describes Shimamura's first impression of her: "That woman gives people an amazing clean impression, and even makes people think that her toes are probably clean."

They started chatting, and Koko told her life experience. Shimamura felt her frankness and enthusiasm. In Shimamura's eyes, Koko is not a beauty, but she is cleaner than anyone else, which leads to her attachment.

When they first met, the book didn't show that Komako wanted to live a new life in Tokyo through Shimamura, until Shimamura talked to her about Japanese dance. Shimamura asked Komako to help find a geisha who didn't agree with Shimamura's appetite, and Shimamura let the geisha leave in an implicit way.

At this time, Komako was attracted by Shimamura's generosity and erudition, and she had love in her heart. Then foal got drunk and almost had an intimate relationship with Shimamura, and it was voluntary. From this moment on, Komako pinned her hopes for the future on Shimamura.

Meeting and leaving Shimamura for the first time did not reflect the futility and vanity that the author wanted to express in the next topic. It only describes Shimamura's attachment to Komako and Komako's affection for Shimamura in nuanced words. This relationship, just reading this description, without reading the full text, I personally think it is beautiful.

Because of their ambiguous relationship, Shimamura came to Xue Cun to meet Komako at the end of the year. On the train, he met Ye Zi and a patient. Let's not talk about Ye Zi, but also put this paragraph aside.

After getting off the train, Shimamura didn't recognize Komako to pick him up, but he didn't pick him up either. Through the driver, he learned that Komako was going to pick up her master's son.

Through this passage, it can be reflected that Shimamura is only interested in Keke, and Keke is only a spiritual seasoning for him, a medium that can enrich his heart and satisfy his thoughts.

After meeting and leaving for the first time, Shimamura didn't take the pony to heart, otherwise he wouldn't recognize it at the train station.

Moreover, the book also said, "Although that happened, he didn't write, make an appointment, or keep his promise to send a book with a dance shape."

Aristotle: "Hope is a waking dream."

At the second meeting in the hot spring pub, Komako became a geisha. Shimamura saw the hem of Komako's clothes spread on the dark floor, and her heart fluctuated and sighed, "Shimamura can't help but be surprised: is she still a geisha?"

After seeing Shimamura, Komako served others with geisha and half a year, making Komako's thoughts enslaved and obedient, afraid to face or start to feel inferior and condescending.

Komako did not blame Shimamura's fickleness, but admired him wholeheartedly. Komako's attitude fully satisfied Shimamura's ideological emptiness and spiritual pleasure.

Komako didn't blame her, but after seeing Shimamura for the first time and leaving, she kept thinking about Shimamura and counting the days waiting for it. Reflection in the book: "What are you counting?" After he asked, the woman still counted silently for quite a while. ?

"That was May 23rd." ? "Are you, are you counting the days? July and August are big months. " "Oh, the one hundred and ninety-ninth day. It happens to be the first day 199. " ? "How do you remember so clearly that today is May 23rd?" ? "Just turn over the diary and you will know."

Komako started to keep a diary at the age of sixteen, but she didn't stop for 199 days.

Regarding Komako's novel Diary, Shimamura's attitude is "totally futile". In fact, Shimamura knows that all this has not been in vain for Komako.

Perhaps in foal's world, this is a kind of literature, a rich thought and a weapon to get rid of fate. The reason why Shimamura is duplicitous is entirely an ideological instinct of Shimamura, and his spirit is extremely empty. In the process of pursuing the truth and goal of life, he finally found that everything was meaningless and empty in his eyes, and any effort was a waste in his eyes.

Maybe before Koko became a geisha, Shimamura wouldn't say that everything she did was in vain, but now Koko is a geisha. In Shimamura's eyes, nothing Koko has done can avoid her fate, just as the stars are getting closer, the night sky seems to be pushed farther and farther, and the night is getting deeper and deeper.

Using the present understanding is an escape. When the pursuit is fruitless and fails constantly, begin to accept fate, stop fighting, live passively and live in fantasy forever.

For Komako, the things and life she faces after becoming a geisha can be said to be a kind of despair, and Shimamura is the only person who can bring her hope.

When a person's heart lacks love, loneliness and loneliness, and others treat her better, she can't help but repay her like a moth.

On the first night of Shimamura's arrival, Komako stayed with him all night. And at the risk of being discovered, she didn't leave until it was completely dawn. She needed to work to make money.

Komako invited Shimamura to visit her home. Komako's room used to be a silkworm room. Shimamura: Komako probably let transparent body live here like a silkworm chrysalis. ? At this time, Shimamura was more sympathetic to Keke, and did not love or help her out of trouble.

He didn't, because he thought it was futile and fruitless. It's hard to describe the feeling of reading a complete text. I don't think it can be summarized by the word futility.

Thinking about Shimamura's psychology should be like this: I have a good material life, what I need is a spiritual life, and I don't need to pursue anything deliberately. It would be a waste if I can't pursue it, but pursuing Keke has nothing to do with him. He thinks that the pursuit of science is unattainable, and the final result is a waste, a fake and an illusion.

Her longing for urban things has now been hidden in simple despair and turned into a naive dream.

Indulge in this kind of thinking blindly, fall into ethereal sentimentality and think that survival itself is a kind of futility.

When I was a guest at Komako's house, I met the leaves. At this time, I can look back at Shimamura's observation of the leaves on the train. The beauty of leaves and shining eyes touched Shimamura's heart.

In fact, the reason why I was moved was the purity of the leaves. Just like seeing a pony for the first time, the pure pony made him attached. After becoming a geisha, Shimamura has only sympathy and pity in his heart, pinning his attachment on the leaves, which also reflects that Shimamura is only pursuing a surprise and beauty, not love and being loved.

Shimamura knew the reason why Koko became a geisha through contact with the massage girl. He was not moved by Keke's dedication and gratitude. He thinks that Koko's behavior is like a fool, a meaningless and inappropriate thing, a futile thing, and even thinks that Koko's behavior is shameless.

It can be said that Shimamura's thoughts and attitude towards life have fallen into a distortion. He will passively sympathize with foal, but subjectively think that everything is unreasonable and an illusory consumption.

Komako plays Sanxian in Shimamura's room, and Shimamura appreciates Komako's Sanxian skills.

"His empty mind is full of three-stringed voice. He was more completely conquered than completely surprised. He was moved by pious heart and washed away by regretful thoughts. He felt that he had no strength, so he had to happily plunge into the torrent of foal's artistic charm and let it float and impulse. ”？

Throughout the book, no matter how neatly the dirty clothes are folded, how seriously she mops the floor and cleans up the housework, how persistent she is in reading and taking notes, how hard she plays the piano, and the needlework mentioned later, all her feelings and longing for a better and stable life are integrated into it. Komako's life outside the geisha enriches herself everywhere. Maybe what she thinks is that Shimamura will take her away in the future.

In Shimamura's view, Komako's life was all in vain, and all her efforts were in vain, because Shimamura always had an answer in her heart that she couldn't help her. This attitude and viewpoint has been clearly stated in the dialogue with Ye at the back of this book.

When it was time to leave the second meeting, foal was struggling at this time. She knew that she and Shimamura had deep feelings and tried her best to control her unhappy mood. These islands and villages all know.

This time, Koko wanted Shimamura to take him away, but Shimamura told her that she couldn't help her. In fact, she was very sad and confused, but she didn't make it clear in the end.

The master's son died, and Ye Zi came to call her back. Instead of going back, she insisted on watching the train leave in the island village. Her hope and love, from this moment on, left with the train. Although there will be a third meeting, as a reader, reading the full text, Shimamura's departure is over.

In late summer and early autumn, when moths laid eggs, Shimamura saw the foal for the last time. Is the moth still alive? Shimamura stood up and walked over, flicking the screen with his fingers. It doesn't move. Hit it hard with your fist, and it floats down like a leaf, halfway through.

From the reader's point of view, this passage may indicate that foal, like this moth, can only take a curtain call after the hope is shattered again and again, and all longing for life and beauty can only be left to it when it happens.

It may also be the pursuit of love for the pony, and it is still tough and strong after repeated failures. Of course, maybe the author doesn't mean anything. When it comes to delicate text description, there is no need to over-interpret the text.

In the hot spring pub, Komako took the initiative to find Shimamura. They had arranged to see the Bird Festival on February 14, but Shimamura stood me up. Somehow, Komako abandoned his master who died of pneumonia to fulfill his promise, or because he loved Shimamura.

This kind of love is all kinds of flattery. When Shimamura didn't come, Komako was sad or desperate, but she still hoped for luck.

Komako's love for Shimamura slowly began to be a little anxious. Komako may want to admit the reality, but dare not face it. He needs Shimamura to say it himself. Komako began to try to get Shimamura to say something about his feelings, but Shimamura avoided talking about it or hinted.

In this article, Komako and Shimamura talked about the life experience of Juyong's sister. Komako finally asked Shimamura, "Do you understand my feelings?"

Shimamura said for a long time: "The light of the stars is completely different from that of Tokyo. It seems to be floating in space. " ?

"With the moon, it won't be like that."

Shimamura is the moon in Komako's heart, and Komako is not the starlight in Shimamura's heart.

Because of the death of Master Koko, she had no place to live, so she had to live in a temporary place where a geisha lived, work in a shop, sell some candy and cigarettes, and read a book by herself, because she was embarrassed to use the electric light in the shop at night.

Foal is kind and pure. She didn't indulge herself because of her identity. Foal is tenacious, tenacious. Whether Shimamura can bring her hope or not, she still insists on reading books and writing diaries every day, and strives to pursue a meaningful and fulfilling life in a difficult environment.

Komako's life is unfortunate and bumpy. She likes to tidy up the housework. Everything is neat. "As long as the environment permits, I still want to lead an honest and clean life." What she wants is not wealth, but ordinary. ?

Komako expresses her feelings by cleaning up housework. What she wants is a clean life. She asked Shimamura again if she knew her mood. Shimamura couldn't give her an answer. This time Shimamura's attitude made Komako see the reality clearly: "I am very sad. I'm so stupid. Go again tomorrow. "

Komako's love for Shimamura, if there is any purpose in the first two encounters, is pure this time. Knowing that Shimamura could no longer give him hope, she said to Shimamura reasonably, "Once a year." Please come once a year when I am here. "The term of office is four years. ?

Shimamura met Ye, who had just come to help in the hot spring bath, and saw her meticulous care for her sweetheart on the train. My sweetheart is dead, and I want to see the pony. She let go of a woman's jealousy and fulfilled her sweetheart's wish. Ye Ye came to the bathing place to help instead of becoming a geisha. The purity of Yoko is like the foal that Shimamura first met, which fascinates Shimamura.

The infatuation with leaves makes Shimamura realize that he likes foals, but he has a sense of emptiness and regards love as an illusory beauty. So even if he knew that the foal loved him and pinned his desire for survival on him, he could only pity the foal, pity himself, indulge the foal's love for him and let the foal down.

The foal's love is great. She doesn't care that the village will ruin her reputation when she knows about her and Shimamura. "yes. In this small place, if you have a bad reputation, it will be over. " Foal immediately looked up and said with a smile, "Well, it doesn't matter. We can do anything anywhere. " ?

This sincere tone surprised Shimamura, who lives on ancestral products. ?

"Seriously, where to do it is different. Why not think about it? " Shimamura recognized her voice in her cold tone. ?

"That will do. Because only women can really love a person. " Foal's face turned slightly red and she bowed her head. ?

When the foal served the guests, she asked Ye Zi to send a note to the foal to convey her whereabouts. Ye Zi said in a trembling voice, "Sister Foal is a good person, but she is poor. Please treat her well. " Shimamura's answer is: "But I can't do anything for her."

From beginning to end, Shimamura did not have the mentality to help Komako out of trouble.

When Yoko said that she would go to Tokyo, Shimamura was willing to take her away, but her heart ignited a warm love for Komako.

The leaves said, "Sister Ju said I was going crazy." ? Hearing this sentence, Shimamura felt a chill in his heart. Later, I talked to Komako about leaves. Komako said that leaves were her burden, and she wanted Shimamura to carry this burden for her. Obviously, Shimamura could not help her.

Just seeing this, you can guess what will happen behind the leaves. However, it is hard to imagine that the last leaves are fragrant and dead.

When Shimamura repeatedly said that Koko was a good girl, Koko knew that Shimamura was giving up on her. The sweet words of a good girl are just a comfort, a disguised refusal. Komako has been reluctant to admit the reality, but now it is clear that she can do nothing but sadness, sadness, despair and tears.

? For Shimamura, he just felt that Komako's love and unrestrained enthusiasm for him were futile and pitiful.

In Shimamura's mind, there will be an image of a foal who gave birth to another man and became a mother. This is the author's redemption of the foal and gives her the best ending.

The third time we met, Shimamura stayed for a long time. The encounter with Komako shows that Komako's attitude towards life and the spirit of fighting against fate have a great influence on Shimamura's future life and attitude towards everything. Frequent meetings made him realize the loneliness, sadness and hardship of foal. He can't give foal anything, but he is more and more hard on himself. He knows he can't be so bohemian forever.

He knew that the trip should be over, and he deliberately kept his distance from foal. He didn't bring a pony when he went to see the origin of crepes, which also sent a signal to the pony. The pony knew his mind, he had become indifferent, and he still maintained his love and enthusiasm for him. The foal's love is sincere and eternal.

When the silkworm house caught fire, Keke was afraid and began to cry. Shimamura doesn't know why Koko is crying.

From the reader's point of view, because this is not a mystery novel, don't think about fire. Koko cried. She wept for her past life and her long-cherished hope. What the fire destroyed was not the house, but the long-awaited expectation in Koko's heart.

The fire was an abyss, which cut off her love for the island village and her yearning for ordinary life. She can only live a miserable life in this ravine and start a new life and new hope.

Koko bid farewell to Shimamura, a strong farewell, "How heartless!" Komako quipped. "Well, you said I was a good woman. Why would a man who said he was leaving say these things? Is it a confession to me? " ?

Shimamura remembers that Komako tied the mat with a hairpin. ?

"I cried. I cried when I got home. I'm afraid to leave you. But you'd better leave early. You made me cry. I won't forget it. ”？

The last time we met, we were leaving, and Shimamura's heart was also lost and sad. He looked at the Milky Way, controlling the glittering and translucent tears in his eyes. The milky way seems to pour from behind them to the front. Foal's face seems to be reflected on the Milky Way. But her exquisite and straight nose is blurred, and her small and fragrant lips have lost their color.

"After you leave, I want to live seriously." Foal said, "Put her hand on her loose bun and walk away." After five or six steps, he turned back and said, "What's the matter with you? Don't do this. " ?

Although Komako is a geisha, she is pure, kind and reasonable at heart. Her loss, depression, sadness and tears forced to smile were all borne by herself.

The leaves fell, and the cry of the foal spread all over the island village. Leaf's calf is twitching. Meanwhile, Shimamura's toes twitched from the cold. An indescribable pain and sadness welled up in his heart, which made his heart beat violently. ?

The spasm of the leaves was so slight that it was almost invisible and soon stopped. ?

Before the leaf spasm, Shimamura first saw her face and her red arrow feather kimono. The leaves fell on their backs. The hem of the skirt is lifted to the knee. It was just a calf cramp when I fell to the ground, and the whole person was still in a coma. Somehow, Shimamura always felt that the leaves were not dead. Her inner life is transforming into something else. ?

In Shimamura's view, the leaf didn't leave, she just became another thing, an empty existence.

Shimamura remembered his meeting with Komako in this hot spring bath a few years ago. When the light of Shan Ye reflected on Ye Zi's face on the train, his heart was pounding again. As if at this moment, the fire also lit up the years he spent with foal. It is also full of unspeakable pain and sadness. ?

Shimamura likes foals. When he no longer regarded Komako's pursuit of city life, reading, keeping a diary and playing the three strings as a kind of futility, Ye Zi's death once again made him feel that everything was nothing and futile, and no matter what he did, he could not change it. The galaxy in his heart seems to have collapsed and poured on his heart.

Foal, island village, leaves, their fate changes, the vision of the future, everything is empty. ?

Ps:

This book is exquisitely written. Although there are not many people, the scene is not grand, and things are not ups and downs, there are many things inside. The final results and ideas need to be analyzed in three words. You can have a look at it sometime.

Here, I only made some simple statements about the character Komako, and my writing is weak, so I can't reveal some feelings.

When reading a new book, don't check the creative background of the book first, or look at other people's views on the book, because this will give you a preconceived concept. At this time, you are not reading for yourself, but just reading to confirm the ideas of others or authors.

Only by reading books and understanding the author's thoughts can we have some feelings.

A thousand readers, a thousand hamlets.