Little people are everywhere, how should we face them?

Who do people usually call a villain? Two-faced, treacherous, ungrateful, one set to his face and one set to his back, full of lies, bullying and fear of hard work, slandering and slandering, good at gossiping, deliberately infringing on and encroaching on the interests of others, extremely selfish and jealous. Still dare not confront head-on, but only love to be bad behind. Good at shirking responsibility, shirking responsibility, heavy revenge, like a dog skin plaster, no introspection, lack of compassion and so on.

I believe that many politicians and militarists in history, when they finally passed away in grief, hated not their clear political opponents and opponents, but those who had given themselves a lot of unpleasant words and abrupt faces, and finally could not tell whether they were friends or enemies. Politicians and militarists are dying with their eyes open.

The villain should be a type of antisocial personality, also called heartless personality disorder or social pathology, which has the most serious impact on society.

The core characteristics of antisocial personality disorder are high self-interest, impulsiveness and high aggression.

Such people often have poor academic performance since childhood, playing truant and being expelled, and repeatedly wandering and drinking. Lying, vandalism, theft, violation of discipline, confrontation with the elderly. When I grow up, my emotions are superficial and cold, my temper is bad, I can't control myself, I'm not honest with others, I lack a sense of responsibility, I don't get along with others, I don't want to abide by laws and regulations, I have poor self-control ability, and my behavior is driven by instinctive desire, accidental motivation and emotional impulse. Make it highly impulsive and aggressive, selfish, self-evaluation and poor anti-frustration ability. When you encounter failure, you shirk or put forward some specious reasons to excuse yourself, lacking planning and purpose, conscience, understanding of your own personality defects, regret and shame. Unable to learn lessons and high crime rate, these are some characteristics of antisocial personality.

In fact, some of these little people's personality characteristics are consistent with the characteristics of paranoid personality disorder. Their behavioral characteristics are abnormal, showing extreme sensitivity, resentment against insults and injuries, stubbornness in thinking and behavior, rigid sensitivity and suspicion, narrow-mindedness, jealousy, nervousness, anger, not venting quarrels, or cynicism behind their backs, or publicly complaining and accusing others.

People with this personality don't get along well with friends and colleagues at home, and others should stay away from him. They think they are conceited, overestimate their abilities and are used to blaming others for their failures and responsibilities. In work and study, they often exaggerate and feel inferior at the same time. They always ask too much of others, but never trust their motives and wishes. They think that others have ulterior motives and cannot analyze the situation correctly and objectively.

So villains are a mixture of different degrees of antisocial personality and paranoid personality. How are these characters of villains formed? In fact, it is very complicated, with family reasons and social reasons. In a word, it was his growing experience that shaped his later personality characteristics. If his parents are villains, their children will often become villains, which is the intergenerational transmission of family culture. In fact, most villains are unhappy in their careers and families. Even if they succeed occasionally, the ending is often tragic. In fact, villains are more likely to hurt their families and children. I don't want to talk about these issues here. What we should think about is how to deal with the villains.

What should we do in the face of villains? Personally, I think there are the following coping strategies.

First, don't try to move and transform villains.

The main difference between people is the difference of cognitive model. The older people get, the harder it is to change their cognitive patterns. The more we continue to strengthen it on the original basis, we will moderately fine-tune it in some specific aspects. They are extremely selfish, suspicious and jealous, lacking shame and guilt. These villains are the most common and core cognitive features.

So it is almost impossible for them to be moved by the outside world, and then achieve the so-called epiphany. All the beauty and patience of the outside world are taken for granted in their eyes. They keep convincing themselves that they should avoid the principle of reciprocity. They will not allow themselves to feel indebted to others, otherwise they will fall into inner conflicts, because they always feel that the outside world owes them all kinds, so as to persist in self-interest and disadvantage others.

Second, don't try to show love and forgiveness to the villain.

The villain lacks a sense of responsibility and guilt, and will not learn to be grateful and introspected because of the love and forgiveness of the outside world. Everyone instinctively avoids falling into a state of cognitive dissonance, which is a name in psychology. Used to describe two contradictory ideas at the same time, resulting in an uncomfortable state of tension. So people will have various ways to solve cognitive dissonance, such as adding cognitive methods commonly used by villains. If the two kinds of cognition are inconsistent, we can reduce the dissonance by adding more consistent cognition, and admitting responsibility will make me suffer. Only by shirking responsibility can we protect our vested interests. Therefore, when dealing with villains, I should be more persistent in exhausting evidence and systems. While protecting their due interests, I will strictly investigate their responsibilities, and through personally experiencing the consequences of punishment, I will gradually give up my luck and be forced to learn to take responsibility.

Third, don't try to compromise.

Many people feel very troublesome in the face of villains and are afraid of being entangled by villains. Therefore, adhering to the mentality of letting nature take its course, that is, when being hurt by a villain, you will compromise and suffer a dumb loss. In fact, you are voluntarily giving up control of the incident. In the other person's view, he has completely controlled you. A sense of control is the basic condition of happiness, and your humiliation brings more to the other person. It brings you pain and depression, and unnecessary consumption of psychological energy. Many of my counselors are mentally ill. Once one day, when you can't bear to fight bravely, they will give you more harm, because you are hurting his accustomed happiness, and it is even more unacceptable to hand over the control lever you own, which is even more unacceptable than the original. Therefore, our correct posture is from the beginning.

Fourth, make yourself strong.

Villains often don't ask for two kinds of people, one is omnipotent and the other is difficult. Because the villain is the person who is most eager to maximize benefits and minimize losses, and he is most afraid of getting into trouble for himself. Although they are used to causing trouble to others, the best posture to avoid being violated by villains is that you are strong enough to make him afraid. What if the other party hurts you and refuses to take responsibility? For the injury, it can even cause greater harm to him.

Humans of all races in the world have common codes of conduct and the principle of reciprocity in social communication. Reciprocity is not only reciprocity, but also tit for tat. One of the three laws of behavior is to choose the lesser of two evils. Villains are generally good at calculating their own gains and losses. When she finds that the object she wants to violate is tougher and more irritating than her, it will bring him a sense of loss, but they are unwilling to fight with it and even dare not continue to bully you blatantly.

Therefore, in the face of villains, we must have a clear mind and a strong heart, and be prepared for a protracted war. Of course, your time and energy are precious, so you should try your best to focus on how to make yourself stronger. Accepting the existence of villains is only to release their attacks and hostility at an appropriate time, rather than spending the main energy and time on confrontation with villains.

Fifth, it is the best policy to take the 36 th plan.

I'm not encouraging you to run away from villains, but the best countermeasure is not to contact villains. Everyone's attention range is limited, so a villain will only attack the obvious targets within his attention range. As long as you provide opportunities, there will always be villains who can approach you and wait for opportunities. Therefore, it is the best countermeasure to keep a psychological distance from the villains and stay away from the physical distance, which is conducive to their attention as much as possible. But there are always villains in every organization, and you can hardly find a place where you can keep a safe physical distance from all villains. Therefore, keeping a psychological distance is the most realistic idea. For villains, try to minimize contact, never communicate, nod when you meet, and never say anything.

About how to deal with bad guys, I'll share it here today. If you think my sharing is beneficial, you can give me a compliment. thank you