Humorous sentences of soul poison chicken soup (sentences mocking soul chicken soup)

First, after paying wages, be arrogant for a week, save for a week, and look forward to a week. This month has passed!

Second, as long as there is a courier still on the road, I think there is still a little hope in this life.

Third, when you are poor, you think you will be happy if you have money. When you are really rich, you will find that there is more money than happiness. This is simply happiness.

Fourthly, I feel that I am in love with my math teacher, because in front of the person I love, my IQ is basically zero.

I just went downstairs to buy takeout and met a friend, so I had to pretend not to see it. After all, everyone has a circle of friends He is in France and I am in America these days.

When I say "whatever", I mean: I'm too lazy to think, and I can't think of anything good. Although it's up to you, you must want to give me something satisfactory.

7. Every time I face delicious food, I tell myself, "If I eat too much, I will die." But it turns out that I'm not afraid of death at all.

My favorite month of the year is February, because I only need to be single for 28 days this month.

Nine, rainy days are suitable for sleeping at home, sunny days are suitable for going out for a walk, for a long time, in fact, no day is suitable for work!

Who is in charge in your family? I decide the big things, and my wife decides the small things. I envy you. But nothing important has happened in our family since we got married.

The strangest thing in the world is that my mother took my father's salary card and told me to be smart and not to give it to my future wife.

When a man really falls in love with you, you will find: Hey! One more father; When a man falls in love with you falsely, you will find that he is still a rebel after having another son.

Thirteen, when the Titanic set off, I shouted desperately, don't set sail, it's very dangerous, and no one listened to me and called me a fool. Finally, several burly security guards came and kicked me out of the cinema.

A friend of the opposite sex asked me to borrow 100 yuan the other day, and then she often called me. Yesterday, she suddenly said she liked me. I was so scared. She doesn't want to pay me back?

Fifteen, from a woman's point of view, a favorite commodity is discounted, and buying it is not to spend money, but to make money.

Sixteen, other people's friends, encourage each other to work together; My friends and I both hope that each other will try to get rich and wait for free food and drink.

Seventeen, people who love to laugh are not too bad luck. To tell the truth, if a person is unlucky, I don't know how he can laugh.

Eighteen, take a cup of milk tea through the security check. Security inspector: What's in your hand? Me: milk tea. Security inspector: Have a drink. Me: No! Buy it yourself!

Nineteen, playing in the swimming pool, suddenly want to fart. I couldn't hold back, and a bunch of bubbles came out behind me. The little girl next to her cried and said, "Mom, run! The water is boiling!" " "

Twenty, my father sent me to school. My father suddenly said, "I want to stop and clean the windshield." I said, "Dad, where did you get the windshield of your electric car?" Dad stopped the car, took out his handkerchief and wiped his eyes.

Twenty-one, "What pants do you look young in?" "I really can't think of anything younger than wearing diapers!"

22. For me, any problem that can be solved with money is not a problem. How to have money is my biggest problem.

I don't want affection and justice. I just want to have money with you. Of course, if I have money, I can live without you.

Twenty-four, please remember one sentence: you must eat breakfast! Of course, it is not because you are unhealthy, but because it is the cheapest meal of your day!