Dinner socializing: If you don’t understand these 3 sentences, your meal will be in vain.

The exchange of glasses and cups at the wine and dinner table conveys not the fine wines and delicacies, but the sophistication between people. Eating and drinking is not the ultimate goal, but communication is the real protagonist.

When socializing at a dinner party, don’t just focus on the sumptuous feast in front of you and just think about feasting. You must know that the sensitivity of your ears is likely to affect the trajectory of our life and miss the moment. code, you may miss out on countless delicacies in the future.

1. Eating is not simple, it is a commonly used social means for Chinese people

The famous writer Qian Zhongshu once wrote in the article "Eating":

As Mr. Qian said, in modern society, eating has gradually lost its original meaning. In addition to enjoying a delicious home-cooked meal with our family, our meals with friends and strangers all have utilitarian purposes. Whether we are inviting others to dinner or being invited to dinner, there are always "code words" flying around when we change glasses.

If you think about it carefully, is there anything you can’t say directly, and you have to tell the truth over a meal? As the saying goes: "You are soft-handed and short-tongued." Today, I will treat you to a meal, or you will treat me to a meal. For the sake of the treat, no one can say bad things about the other person behind his back.

In addition, after eating this table full of delicacies today, even if there is a huge matter between each other, we can still discuss it easily. This is probably the secret of the long-lasting popularity of the dinner party. But even if it is a dinner full of friendship, everyone still cannot speak without scruples. For the sake of a thin face, no matter how plainly "Sima Tu's heart is known to everyone passing by", we can only pretend to be completely ignorant. Unknowingly, he walked into the darkness and cooperated with the other party to perform a wonderful drama of "the emperor wears new clothes".

Therefore, if we want to gain a perfect and harmonious interpersonal relationship, or get some benefits from this interpersonal relationship, we must keep our ears on alert at all times to avoid missing opportunities.

2. Sentence 1: “Let’s get together when we have time”

For many friends who have not been in contact for a long time, this sentence is often the best opening line to communicate with each other. , if the other party really wants to meet, he will definitely say something at the end of the conversation: "It's better to choose a different day, or tomorrow night, let's go out to have a meal and chat, what do you think?"

If you say "Let's get together when you have time", it is probably just a simple polite word between friends, but if the other party adds the following sentence, it will definitely not be that simple. As Mr. Qian Zhongshu said, eating also has many social functions. There is often no good food for free in the world. Friends do not choose to get together with us during free time, rather than choosing the nearest time. This is enough to explain what is about to happen. There is much to think about in this meal.

On the surface, my friend’s question seems quite casual and commonplace, but as long as we are careful enough, we will surely detect the probing meaning in it. You know, the restaurant table has always been the best place for socializing and socializing. It is possible for two people who are strangers to become familiar with each other while eating, drinking and changing glasses, let alone close friends?

Therefore, when the other party tentatively asks: "Let's get together when you have time?", it's probably because they have something to ask of us, or they want to get closer to each other. Relationships, and then use us to achieve some of our own wishes and goals, or they want to connect us and introduce us into an important circle.

All in all, the content implied by this sentence is really all-encompassing and cannot be summed up in one sentence. However, as long as we grasp the key point of "there is a rush", then no matter the other party's purpose of setting up the dinner party No matter what, we will make enough mental preparations in advance and go to the appointment happily. Maybe there will be unexpected gains in the end!

3. Sentence 2: "Introduce a friend to you"

As the saying goes, many friends lead to many paths, and friends are an essential asset in life for each of us. , therefore, when someone boldly says to us: "I will introduce you to a friend," we should not be too hasty to refuse others' kindness, because at modern dinner parties, many people get to know each other through the introduction of others. He has a noble person in his life, and finally, with the help of the noble person, his career gradually flourishes.

Jack Ma, the founder of Alibaba, was once the beneficiary of this secret phrase. He wanted to start a business at that time, but unfortunately, it was difficult to raise the funds needed to start a company in a short period of time. At this moment, Ma Yun received a call from a friend. After learning about his situation, the friend did not say any words of comfort and only left an understatement: "Let's have a meal together. I want to give You introduce a friend."

In fact, if it were anyone else, I might have glared at this friend. How long has it been since I was in dire straits? You couldn't think of a way to help me. After counting the money, you took me to a dinner party with you. Is that cool? But Ma Yun didn't think so. He seemed to have understood his friend's code and realized that his friend was solving problems for him.

So, after Ma Yun put down the phone, he went to the dinner with his friends. To his ecstasy, his friend actually introduced him to the famous investor Masayoshi Son. With just such a small meal, he suddenly solved the problem of entrepreneurial capital that he had been worrying about for many days. Mr. Son Zhengyi gave him a large amount of investment, giving him the confidence to promote his own e-commerce.

Many times, "introducing you a friend" means a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, which means that we are about to become the darling of the God of Destiny. Maybe we can't be as lucky as Jack Ma, but at least we can Make one more friend. Therefore, if our ears catch this code word, we might as well give others a positive and enthusiastic response. Even if the friend introduced by the other person is not our ideal type, we should not show our disgust and disgust casually.

4. Sentence 3: “I’ll drink, you’ll do whatever you want.”

At large or small dinner parties, we’ll all hear this sentence: “I’ll drink, you’ll do whatever you want.” "When the speaker raised his head and drank the glass of wine in one gulp, he didn't actually have any extra time to taste the wine. Instead, he opened his eyes wide and focused on our words and deeds, wanting to see. Let’s see how “casual” we can be.

Since ancient times, Chinese people have always liked to drink with friends. Wine can be said to be a catalyst for mutual relationships. There are often many mysteries hidden in a glass of wine. The subtext of the so-called "I cheers" is that I have put my greatest sincerity in your hand, while "you are free to do as you wish" means that I am still waiting to see your sincerity. This is the same as Reciprocity is a principle.

When the other party says this to us, it first shows his respect and enthusiasm for us, and secondly, it also gives us enough room to relax, so that we don’t have to insist on "reciprocating the gift." ", and poured the glass of wine into his stomach. Obviously, in a social situation, whoever utters this sentence first has full initiative. After all, "I cheers" already shows that he has lowered his posture and fulfilled his etiquette. As long as "you" can take a few sips at will. , "I" all accept your love.

But can casualness really be completely casual? I don’t think so. If we really do what the other party said and only touched the wine glass lightly with our mouths, then the other party will most likely think that we are very unscrupulous and do not even understand such a simple polite word. Then there will be other problems in the future. What communication is necessary? Therefore, in order to prevent the other party from having a grudge, it is best for us to drink this glass of wine to show our sincerity in wanting to get to know and interact with them.

In fact, eating and drinking is not a big deal, but communication is a big deal.

Many times, dinner parties are not simply set up to satisfy appetites, but to facilitate positive and friendly interactions between people and to allow each other to recognize each other in communication. Therefore, when we hear the code phrase "I'll drink to you," while changing glasses, if we don't want to be rude and leave a bad impression of being cold and selfish to others, we should raise our glasses and pour all the wine in the glasses. into the belly.

Not only that, while we are drinking, it is best to persuade loudly and enthusiastically: "Come on, come on, everyone has drank this glass of wine. From now on, everyone can We are all friends, so we must remember to take care of each other!” How can we not build a harmonious and harmonious interpersonal relationship in such an affectionate atmosphere?