It is not a matter of course that I help you.

Figure: petal net

"Helping is a duty, not helping is a duty", but in the eyes of most people, helping is a duty.

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Last year's Dragon Boat Festival, conflicts broke out at home, which unveiled the false veil of feelings between my family and my uncle's family and made the feelings of the two families light up with a red light.

Five years ago, when my uncle and his family were going to buy a house in the city, they borrowed 40 thousand yuan from my parents. At that time, the family couldn't afford so much money and only lent them 20 thousand yuan. Later, my aunt said she didn't want to borrow 20 thousand, and asked my parents if they were beggars, so she sent them away with 20 thousand. In the end, my parents had no choice but to cut back on family expenses. They borrowed some money from others and gave them 40 thousand yuan.

At the end of the year before last, that is, three years after they bought a house, my uncle returned the money to my parents. After the money was returned, my aunt said everywhere outside that "my dad went to their house every day to ask for debts and asked them to pay back the money without eating or drinking." In fact, my father didn't ask for debt, even mentioned it.

On the day my uncle paid back the money, my father happened to send pork to my grandmother. Grandma asked dad where to go, and dad said to go to the wholesale department outside to buy some new year's goods on credit. Hearing this, my aunt asked my uncle to return the money to her father.

Actually, that remark was made casually by my dad. Originally, it was unintentional, but when menstruation got hold of it, people would speak ill of my parents. At that time, my aunt asked my mother what the situation was and why she wanted money. Only then did my mother know that my aunt had been spreading rumors to speak ill of my father.

When I didn't pay back the money, my uncle and aunt were very kind and polite to my parents. Since I paid back the money, I have not only spoken ill of my parents outside, but also constantly provoked the relationship between me and my parents in the name of being good to me.

Later, there were more and more rumors about parents outside. My patient father got angry and called my uncle to ask him why he did it. My uncle said nothing. I hung up the phone. After my uncle hung up the phone, my aunt called immediately and scolded my mother. It was terrible.

My aunt still likes to ignore our family. Every holiday, she went to their house and looked at us with an unhappy face, as if our family owed them.

Parents lend money to their uncles because they think of their brothers and sisters and think they should help them. Out of mutual affection. Instead of taking it for granted in the eyes of uncles and aunts.

02

My friend Xiao Jing traveled to Tibet last month. After the trip, she brought local characteristics to every roommate. This has always been Xiao Jing's habit. Wherever she goes, she will buy something for her roommate.

Later, she quarreled with a roommate because of the long-term accumulated contradictions. Xiao Jing's boyfriend talked to her roommate's boyfriend, hoping to persuade his girlfriend to take a step back and make peace.

When Xiao Jing's boyfriend was chatting with her roommate's boyfriend, she said Xiao Jing was very kind to her roommate. Wherever she goes, she will think of them and bring them presents. As a result, her roommate's boyfriend said, "It is appropriate for her to bring gifts to her roommate when she comes back from playing outside."

Xiao Jing and her boyfriend were stunned at the time, but they couldn't find a suitable language reply. In the face of the word "should", all languages look pale and powerless.

I also know Xiao Jing's roommate who quarreled with her. I had a quarrel with her the year before last. After the quarrel, her boyfriend took some friends to my boyfriend's dormitory to find my boyfriend. He and my boyfriend made two demands. First, you can't write on the dormitory change application that you want to change the dormitory because of quarreling with her girlfriend. Second, things like girlfriends can't be used and must be thrown away;

My boyfriend asked, why do you ask my girlfriend so much? He said that this is what she should do.

03

This morning, a WeChat popped up on my mobile phone, which is a senior I haven't contacted for a long time. The content of WeChat is "Are you there?" .

I didn't answer because I knew he must have asked me for help. I looked through the chat records with him, and every time I chatted, I needed help because of something. I helped him out of mutual affection before, but I didn't help him this time because I was too busy to help him. In his eyes, this has become a matter of course.

I helped him a lot this school year. He will politely say thank you for your help before, and he will also thank you when he goes back to school. He went back to school for a few days last month because of graduation, and he didn't contact me. Seeing him on the road that day, I shouted "Hello, Senior". He just nodded politely without saying a word, and then left as if he didn't know each other.

Sometimes, people don't even have proper manners. Voting links shared by friends often appear on WeChat. The following message will say "vote for No.3" instead of "Can you vote for No.3 for me", and then there is not even a thank you. Because in their eyes, a small matter like voting is just a matter of lifting a finger.

The smallest thing may be easy for others, but for you, it is the mutual affection of others. I have no obligation to you in this world, so there is no "should" and "taken for granted". If there is, it is also between my parents and me.

How many people have lost the boundary between mutual affection and duty. When you meet someone older than you on the bus, if you don't give up your seat, you will be accused of not respecting the old and loving the young, but after you give up your seat, others will take you for granted.

Every favor and care for every help is out of a mutual affection, not a matter of course. Help balance the scales of mutual affection and duty, and don't let one side of duty hang high and the other side of mutual affection fall to the ground.

"Helping is duty, not helping is duty", please be kind to those who help you out of love.