Why do you talk to people gracefully?

When a person speaks, his manners and expressions are comprehensively reflected in his way of speaking. The way of speaking is a comprehensive external expression of a person's thought, morality, sentiment, temperament, character, knowledge and feelings.

In the process of talking with people, if you want to leave a good impression, you should pay attention to your manners and expressions when you speak, and grasp the following questions, so as to become a person with conversation etiquette.

1. Natural expression and serene attitude

Many people tend to get stage fright when speaking in front of people. First of all, breathing is abnormal, so you can't say good things. Once the breathing is disordered, the inhalation of oxygen will be reduced, which will inevitably affect the normal work of the brain.

Therefore, take a deep breath before speaking, take a deep breath quietly, and add a little strength when exhaling, so that the whole body is in a relaxed state, so that the heart is practical.

In addition, the conscious state of laughter can also keep calm. When laughing, let the whole body be in a relaxed state, which has a good effect on relieving the tension of the whole body. Laughter can adjust breathing, and it can also make the brain react flexibly and concentrate on words.

2. Focus and steady movements

Conversation is generally composed of two parties, and each party is responsible for two tasks: speaking and listening. Your "speaking" is for the other person's "listening", and your "listening" also contributes to the other person's "speaking", but many people around us ignore this when talking with others. They don't care what others say, or interrupt others in a hurry, or listen to others absently, or take them out of context.

There is no doubt that being good at listening can play a role in praising each other in communication and is a means to establish good interpersonal relationships.

If you can listen to the listener, it is equivalent to telling the other person that "what you say is very meaningful" and "you are the person I like to associate with". Invisibly, the speaker's self-esteem is satisfied. Therefore, the listener will have an emotional leap to the listener, and the communication between two hearts will shorten the emotional distance between the two sides.

You can make some gestures when you speak, but not too loud, and you can't dance or point at people. The distance between the two sides of the conversation should not be too far or too close, depending on the intimacy of the relationship between the two sides.

3. Moderate voice and speaking speed

When you are talking to people, how your voice sounds is a problem that should be paid attention to.

(1) In normal conversation, some people speak so fast and disorderly that people don't know what to say after listening.

Therefore, when you speak, your voice should be clear and moderate, and what you say will be understood by others as soon as you listen.

(2) Is your voice too loud? It is necessary to raise your voice in noisy public places, but it is not suitable for ordinary environment. In the living room, talking loudly can make people feel embarrassed.

Cadence, this is the way to adjust the intensity of your voice. If your writing is as beautiful as music, don't forget to be fast, high, slow and low. Speaking without rhythm is the easiest way to make the listener tired.

Step 4 cooperate with body language

When communicating with people, pure language conversation will make the language of conversation seem boring. If body language is used properly in conversation, it will not only make the conversation lively, but also bring people closer. Therefore, in conversation, we can make eye contact, nod, gesture, relaxed and polite expressions and gestures.

If you want to join others when they are already talking, you'd better say hello first. When people want to talk alone, it's best not to sit in front of them. If you want to interrupt, you'd better wait for others to finish.

Others take the initiative to talk to themselves and be willing to answer. When a third party participates in a conversation, it should be welcomed by shaking hands, nodding or smiling. If you have something to leave during the conversation, say hello and apologize.

When there are more than three people in the conversation place, you should talk to the people in the place from time to time. Don't just talk to one person, or just talk about what two people know and ignore the third party. If you don't want others to know about this problem, then find another suitable place.

There are only two ways to speak: one is good and feasible; One should be avoided as much as possible.

1. There are seven good conversation attitudes.

(1). Show some interest in the ongoing conversation, the talkers and what they are doing, not only for acquaintances, but for everyone involved in the conversation.

(2) Friendly. A successful conversation requires a friendly attitude. If you are dissatisfied with the people present and sneer at their conversation, it is usually difficult to continue the conversation.

(3) look happy. When you speak, you should show a happy mood, and show interest and friendliness by smiling. You know, people don't get together to listen to a sad person telling how they were hurt and misunderstood. Leave your sad mask at home.

(4) There is tension and relaxation. In conversation, you can be very active and show your anger from your face and posture. However, keeping quiet is also indispensable for a successful conversation, from which people can relax.

(5) improvise. The topic of conversation is constantly changing, and a successful speaker should improvise.

(6) decent. As the saying goes, look before you leap. In conversation, you should think before you speak, not regret afterwards. When speaking, try to avoid hurting others because of thoughtlessness.

(7) courtesy. Many irrefutable facts prove that a successful speaker should be polite.

2. Conversation attitude has the following eight taboos.

(1) Don't be arbitrary. You should make your statement moderate and avoid "all" and "always"

In this case, instead of "some" and. Sometimes "these words you think can definitely avoid causing controversy." More importantly, the tone of speech should also try to avoid arbitrariness.

(2) Don't feel superior. Talking to anyone in a superior manner will soon isolate you. You will lose friends, lose the opportunity to communicate with others and become a loner.

(3) Don't be aggressive. People like to watch wonderful fights in the boxing ring, but few people are willing to receive a bickering guest in their living room.

(4) Don't be indifferent. When a talkative person expects you to respond to his witty remarks, you should express them and don't let him play a monologue in the whole conversation. This not only shows your respect for him, but also makes the conversation a real communication.

(5) Don't exaggerate. Praise others, but don't overdo it, don't make it up, praise the right thing.

(6) Don't be self-centered. You should express your thoughts properly in conversation, but don't give people the feeling that the whole universe revolves around you.

(7) Don't always want to be the leading role. A successful conversation can be pleasant or serious.

You may find yourself the best conversationalist because you pay more attention to other people's conversations than anyone else.

(8) Don't be vague. Don't be vague, but speak clearly and loudly. Only when people hear and understand what you say can they understand the meaning and answer questions.

A good conversation, in order to achieve the effect of "a word with you is better than studying for ten years", must have a good ending, and the reverberation will linger for three days.

In conversation, people generally attach importance to the beginning, and everything is difficult at the beginning. Faced with the end of the conversation, people often disagree. When the words are finished, isn't it over to say "goodbye"? Actually, ending the conversation is not that simple.

So, how can we end the conversation and leave an unforgettable and beautiful impression? Here are some tips for ending a conversation.

(1) It is impolite to end the conversation suddenly when the two sides are discussing the problem enthusiastically. If you are deadlocked for a while, try to change the subject and wait until the atmosphere is relaxed.

(2) Don't procrastinate. When you find that the conversation has gradually dried up, you should say goodbye at once. Otherwise, it will leave the impression that the words are tasteless.

(3) Pay attention to each other's hints. If the other person loses interest in the conversation, he may use "body language" to hint that he wants to end the conversation. For example, he deliberately looks at his watch, or changes his sitting position frequently, or looks around and is uneasy. In these cases, it is best to end the conversation cautiously.

(4) properly grasp the time. Accurately grasp the time of conversation. Before you are ready to end the conversation, remind the other party in advance in an appropriate way to stop the conversation calmly. Ending the conversation suddenly and leaving in a hurry will give the impression of rudeness.

Smiling is the best way to end a conversation. Because the last impression, often the deepest impression, can stay in the minds of both sides for a long time.

(6) At the end of some conversations, saying some famous sayings, philosophical words or good wishes will often produce good results.

We have to deal with others every day, and rude rejection of others' demands will always disappoint others, especially the simple and rude "no!" "I can't do it!" Waiting for a cold and blunt answer makes the other party unhappy and even produces disgust and friction. On the contrary, sincere attitude and proper and skillful refusal can not only make the other party understand you, but also leave a good impression on the other party.

The art of refusal in common politeness techniques is as follows.

1. Induces self-denial.

Before Roosevelt became president of the United States, he held an important position in the navy. One day, a friend asked about the navy, which involved confidential content. Roosevelt had a brainwave, pretended to look around and asked in a low voice, "Can you keep a secret?" "Of course!" Roosevelt went on to say, "If you can, so can I."

Avoid procrastination

This method means that you can use time to delay, or you can use someone not to decide. For example, the hotel holds a fashion show and invites supermodels to perform, so the ticket price is higher.

A local friend came to the organizer to ask for tickets, and he could answer, "Unfortunately, all the tickets are in the hands of foreign bosses."

3. Agree first and then refuse

Sometimes the other party's request is not unreasonable, but it can't be met because of the conditions. At this time, you can express your understanding and sympathy first, and then politely refuse. The manager of one company said to the director of another factory. What do you think of our joint venture? (7) The other party replied: "This idea is good, but the conditions are not yet mature. In this way, I rejected each other and left myself a way out.

4. Avoid reality and be empty

It is impeccable to avoid substantive questions and deliberately make flexible answers in ambiguous language, so as to avoid key questions. For example, when the China Olympic delegation arrived at the venue of the 24th Seoul Olympic Games, foreign journalists asked Li Menghua, head of the delegation, "How many gold medals can China win? Can China surpass South Korea? " Li Menghua replied: "10 years 10 2 days later, you will definitely know." The reporter asked again: "China Xinhua News Agency once predicted that it would win 1 1 gold medal. Do you feel sure? " Li Menghua wisely replied: "China has full freedom of speech, and journalists can write whatever they want!"