Jokes about marriage

The general concept of marriage was confirmed by the social system at that time, and the combination of men and women aimed at permanent life. The following is a passage about marriage that I compiled for you. I hope you will like it.

Excerpts from jokes about marriage

1. The magic of marriage is that gold turns into stone. After years of marriage, gentleness becomes trivial, beauty becomes superficial, talent becomes ostentatious, romance becomes flashy and emotional appeal becomes wasteful. It's hard to see a couple enjoying being in love for many years.

2. Before and after marriage: kiss as soon as you meet before marriage, and bicker as soon as you meet after marriage; Life before marriage is wonderful, and life after marriage is miserable; Lies before marriage are love stories, and love stories after marriage are bullshit; Men are humorous before marriage, but silent after marriage; Everything you do before marriage is romantic, and everything you do after marriage is a waste; Love words before marriage, lies after marriage. Love before marriage is a myth, and love after marriage is a joke.

Marriage is the grave of love, and you can't even get into it!

Married people live with half an eye open and half an eye closed. There are no perfect men and women in the world. If you keep your eyes open for too long, or shine with a magic mirror for too long, I'm afraid even God can find fault.

5. Falling in love is a feeling. When this feeling is gone, he is still keeping his promise, which is the responsibility; Separation is a courage. When this courage faded, he was still encouraging himself. This is a tragedy. Finally, all marriages have some tragedies, but some are tragic and warm, and some are tragic and obscene. The killer of marriage is never an affair, but time.

6. A woman's marriage is a psychological dark war, a process of constantly defeating herself and a process of constantly compromising herself.

7. Although it's a pity to get married. Love is sugar, sweet to eat and tired to live; Marriage is water, thirsty people yearn for it, and those who are not thirsty are weak.

8. After marriage, the process before marriage becomes insignificant. No matter who asked for it at the beginning, whoever makes trouble unreasonably after marriage has the upper hand.

9. The most important thing in marriage is confession. Husband and wife are one and should not hide from each other. Only by confession can there be less misunderstandings and disputes and more understanding and help, so confession is the most precious thing in marriage.

10. When in love, use banknotes instead of beautiful clothes to buy romance, and when in marriage, use banknotes to worship rice, oil and salt to solve the problem of diapers.

1 1. A woman who imagines men too ideal will never have an ideal marriage!

12. Before I got married, I was like a free bird. Now it's a chained dog!

13. Divorce is the best way to solve the wrong love and marriage.

14. Marriage is your own, just like your own life and breath. Others can't participate, and others' opinions are just reference. In fact, for everyone, a happy marriage is the same, and an unhappy marriage is unhappy in its own way.

15. In marriage, mutual respect is the first. There are many sweet moments in life that need to be shared slowly, and there are also many difficulties that we need to bear together. Some of the other person's small temper, small temper, I will understand as an episode in life. More often, we all hold the mentality of mutual understanding, mutual tolerance and mutual support.

16. If your parents don't care much about poverty and love money, but stop you from falling in love with someone on the grounds of character, don't try your best to love him just to prove them wrong. You will find that you have suffered more than you think. When you harvest a little, the years have no regrets. You just proved that that man is much worse than they saw.

17. If a man borrows money from you when he is in contact, you are just a slot machine or a short-circuit vending machine with a high winning rate in his eyes.

18. You like cool guys, which means there will be big problems in the future, and he will be too cool to care about you.

19. He should at least know what he wants to say, otherwise, if you always like men who are silent and strong, it is easy to meet violent fanatics. Men who like silence but are not strong are prone to depression.

20. A man suddenly finds a parking space on the roadside of the city, asks you to get off at once to occupy the parking space, and then waits around for him to stop. He won't love you as a baby. God, it's really common for women to get off and occupy parking spaces; Be careful, he just uses you as a shield for many things.

Appreciation of Marriage Jokes

1. Don't go shopping with a man just because you are greedy for free porters.

Don't continue to stimulate angry men, they will be like aggressive reptiles. Even if everything you say is right, an angry and aggressive man won't think he is wrong.

If he has a sense of inferiority, even if you deliberately hide your Excellence, you can't improve his self-esteem.

If you say no, he still decides that you must try to know, or pretend not to hear, and continue to let his hand wander over you. Don't worry, he won't take your words as human words in the future.

The bad habits that you haven't changed since you asked for them in the first three months of communication are usually not changed for life, unless he survives the plane crash and changes his life from now on, or converts to Buddhism and becomes a man without desire. Like smoking.

6. A woman who strives for freedom through marriage will always find that marriage makes her lose more freedom.

7. The survey shows that less than 1% of women think it is a happy thing to use men's money completely (I think 1% of women fantasize that it must be very happy because they don't use it). You'd better plan to find a fishing rod early, and don't worry about finding an ice bank; Even if there are endless fish in the freezer, most of them are not fresh and delicious.

8. Never try to prove that you are more virtuous than your mother.

9. Women can't do well because they can't fall in love; However, a man who can't do well is not in love.

10. Don't tell him that even if he has another woman, you don't care as long as you don't bring the child back. He will think he is an imperial envoy with a royal sword, and you will find that he actually thinks you are not joking.

1 1. If you are unhappy with him now, you will be even more unhappy when you get married; They were unhappy when they were alive, and more people were unhappy after having children.

12. You don't have to wait for the last straw. It's time for you to leave, and you will thank yourself for your kindness and wisdom in the future.

13. Unless you can train a cat to swim, or a cat can open a can without wagging its tail, you must never think that you can control your child 100%?

14. If he says he doesn't deserve you, believe him at once!

15. Don't marry a man who hates his mother!

16. Marriage must be down-to-earth, like a steady stream of water, so that it can last for a long time, but being flat doesn't mean tasteless, and thin water doesn't mean complete peace, otherwise it will be the other extreme of marriage, another dead corner of marriage, and being flat and tasteless is the biggest fatal wound of marriage.

According to modern life? The correct formula? Married: For example, if you want to marry someone, your motivation is 100. Among them, men's own conditions account for 40, and love must be at least 20. The remaining 40 will be full of love or their own conditions. Condition 10, a marriage with 90 love can't stand the crisis of love fading; 90 conditions 10 love marriage, so that both sides can not feel the joy of life; Although the marriage with 40 conditions and 20 loves meets the minimum preconditions, it is not enough for any reason, which makes both parties lose confidence in marriage.

18. Don't women like it? Too honest? Men, in fact, men don't like it either? Too honest? That woman. In a word, I want to improve the competitiveness of marriage and be a wife, right? Is it honest? .

19. When we complain that marriage is boring or unfortunate, in fact, we are all making the same fatal mistake, that is, pointing the root of marital misfortune at marriage itself rather than ourselves. This is really a big misunderstanding and also our sorrow. Who made the unhappy marriage? It's ourselves, luck and misfortune, all on ourselves.

20. Don't wait until you can't stand it. It's time for you to leave, and you will thank yourself for your kindness and wisdom in the future.

A selection of jokes about marriage

1. What is the greatest tragedy of love? Some people may say that the biggest tragedy of love is to break up at the end of love, and break up because you don't love anymore. This is of course sad, but it is the helplessness of love rather than tragedy. On the other hand, it is the luck of love. Being together without love is a tragedy. In fact, the biggest tragedy of love is not knowing whether you love each other or not, and mistaking not loving for love.

Love is basically never a necessary condition for marriage. The relationship between a wife and a husband is more like a partner or ally than a love relationship.

A lasting marriage depends on two hearts, not two bodies.

4. Marriage is like a magic box, changing men and women in marriage, and this change is not the function of marriage itself, but the husband and wife in marriage itself, that is to say, both men and women are consciously or unconsciously changing themselves through the bond of marriage.

5. Marriage is either heaven or hell.

6. Don't go shopping with men just because you are greedy for free porters.

7. Modern couples have three major psychological misunderstandings: they only pay attention to the small world of husband and wife and ignore each other's big family; Always hope that the other party will act according to their own thinking and habits; Take each other for granted as their own completely private property.

8. Don't tell him that even if he has another woman, you don't care as long as you don't bring the child back. He will think he is an imperial envoy with a royal sword, and you will find that he actually thinks you are not joking.

9. Don't continue to stimulate angry men, they will be like aggressive reptiles. Even if everything you say is right, an angry and aggressive man won't think he is wrong.

10. An unwise woman, after being submerged, will slowly wait to fall out of favor; And a smart woman, after being submerged, will carve her wings and make that man a step at her feet?