The advice of the ancestors: "It is shameful to live for a long time, and it is rare to visit relatives frequently." What do you mean?

Seeing this suggestion, another sentence came to mind: "Unfortunate son after a long illness". They are similar, that is, a word "long" and a word "frequent" tell us that it means "many". "Long-term meanness" and "frequent scarcity" all indicate that too much contact will only make people feel that you are cheap, and even the best relationship will be alienated.

This old saying is taken from the first episode of Augmented Xianwen. Consciousness is living in other people's homes for too long, people no longer respect them, they come and go too often, and their intimacy drops, making them unpopular. Come to think of it, this old saying makes sense.

In reality, everything is "rare". The so-called "fragrance far away and taste near" is enough to explain the truth that "staying for a long time makes people mean, and being diligent and close is also sparse".

"If two relationships last for a long time, is it still sooner or later?" ? Even the closest relationship between husband and wife should have a space-time distance, let alone relatives and friends.

To put it bluntly, communication between people takes time and space.

Without time and space, over time, there will be contradictions.

When the epidemic first broke out, it coincided with the Spring Festival. Many relatives, New Year visitors or children visiting their parents were kept in a certain area, and were not allowed to walk, leave or act rashly. So many families have many relatives.

In the first few days, relatives were able to live in peace and security. Cooking, eating, playing cards and having fun together. But after a week, who will cook? Who does the dishes for? Do housework for who? For whom to do it, for whom not to do it, you nagged me, I scolded you, you quarreled with me, and I supported you, so I began to quarrel and get angry.

People who want to leave can't be angry. There are so many people in the host's house at once, and it is annoying to wait for a long time. We won't play together for the rest of the day. Everyone ignored each other and played with their own mobile phones. Eat separately, whoever is hungry will do it, and all kinds of small contradictions will be mixed together, making everyone lose face and no one likes each other. They just want the epidemic to pass quickly and let them return to their posts.

After suffering for more than a month, I finally got home. So I packed my things and hurried home non-stop. The host family also wants relatives to leave home quickly.

These are real-life examples. I saw with my own eyes that two families of two sisters came back to visit the old man and turned against each other at home. In the end, nobody wants to talk to anyone.

The interval between time and space tells us that staying for a long time will be boring and there will be a gap in frequency. People must keep a distance from each other to feel beautiful. The same is true of "a long separation is better than a new marriage".

Everyone is an independent individual, everyone needs his own private space, everyone wants to have his own freedom, and everyone can relax himself, adjust his mentality and do what he likes.

The so-called "friendship between gentlemen is as light as water", "wine is too tipsy" and "Pinellia flowers bloom" is the best and most beautiful state.

"He who knows the times is a hero", do you want to stay and walk often? Never forget the truth that "a strong death is a long time".

"It's embarrassing to stay for a long time, and frequent visits to relatives are also sparse." It stands to reason that when people communicate with each other, they should grasp a certain measure and distance.

Why do you say "staying too long is degrading"?

The antonym of meanness is expensive. In this sentence, meanness means low. Living in someone else's house is not as free as living in your own. There will be a feeling of relying on others and not being as good as others. You should be very careful in all aspects, lest you make people unhappy and disappoint their kindness.

After living for a long time, people will not be as expensive as when they first lived, and their manners will be much more casual. The speaker overheard, adding to his inferiority complex. It is indeed: "It is easy to meet each other, but difficult to stay for a long time."

The phrase "diligent relatives are rare" is easy to understand. What a good friend and relative will be bored if they come and go too often. Everyone in every family has their own private life and is unwilling to be exposed to outsiders. Going too often will inevitably make people unprepared and embarrass both sides.

If you have to borrow from relatives and friends, don't go too often, which will make people feel worried. After a long time, you will take the initiative to get rusty.

As the saying goes: "Relatives come from afar, neighbors run into a wall", which is also the truth. Only by grasping a certain degree in communication can relatives and friends live in harmony and not be alienated.

The picture comes from the network, if there is any intrusion.

This advice has been made very clear: if you live in someone else's house, you are equivalent to relying on others. The explanation is to live under someone else's house, which means that you can't stand on your own feet because you are attached to others. Can you not be modest? Another is to often go to relatives' homes to eat and drink, but also disturb and add trouble. Will your relatives be kind to you? So people should stand on their own feet and live with dignity. No matter how hard life is, no matter how tired people are, they can't lose their backbone. Backbone is ambition. There is an old saying, let's encourage it together: where there is a will, there is a way, and cross the rubicon. 120 Qin Guan will eventually lead to Chu. Hard-working people are irresponsible and have the courage to pay for it.

Living under the fence for a long time is annoying,

Frequent guests are annoying.

Enjoy poverty and old age,

Don't depend on his family.

Let's start with the meaning of "staying too long is depravity". If it is difficult to go to a relative's house or take refuge in a relative's house, don't stay too long. If you stay too long, your relatives will resent you, hate you, think you are an ignorant person, and make people look down on you in their bones and treat you as a beggar.

The second sentence "diligent relatives are rare" means that relatives should come and go frequently, but the frequency of coming and going should not be too close. If the frequency of communication is too close, relatives will gradually alienate because of disgust.

These two sentences are lessons learned by our ancestors from long-term social practice. He told us: after all, relatives are relatives, so we must deal with the relationship between relatives, not only to communicate, but also not to be too close, and it is best to be at arm's length; Even if you need relatives to help you when you are in trouble, don't rely too much on relatives and don't stay at relatives' homes for too long.

Let me tell you a true story. Just a few days ago, due to this year's rainstorm, there were several floods in succession here, almost all the land was washed away by water, and the houses were very dangerous, so before each rainstorm, the local government mobilized us to move to a safe place. The transfer mode proposed by the government is either relying on relatives and friends or centralized resettlement. Two of my relatives chose to take refuge in safer relatives' homes because they have been evacuated three times this year for more than two months. I listened to his words and told him not to go to relatives' houses if he had something to do. I'd rather have food than look at other people's faces. I asked him why, and he said it was fine a day or two before he went to his relatives' house. People cook for you on time, and I help you eat on time. But after a long time, relatives' faces fell, and they were always cold when they wanted to eat. Sometimes people will find all kinds of excuses to drop in. When you are eating, it is difficult for you to do it or not. Especially the daughter-in-law of relatives is even uglier. She is always throwing pots and pans, swearing and gossiping, and totally treating us as beggars. I finally realized the fragility of the relationship between relatives, and I finally tasted how ugly the faces of relatives are.

So when he encountered this experience, he never went to visit his relatives after two evacuations. He would rather build a small shack in it than look at other people's faces.

Actually, it's nothing strange. If we learn to put ourselves in the other's shoes, it is not difficult to understand this truth: if your relatives and family members stay in your house for too long, or come once every three to five days, are you willing? Because you have your day, you have your things to do. It is inhuman not to accompany them; Stay with him. It was a mistake for you. In addition, sometimes family members can't make their own decisions. When their relatives come, it is inevitable to see the child's face.

My answer is:

I think these two sentences should be a realistic standard to measure the relationship between relatives and friends in the world.

As the saying goes, "I miss my family for a long time after a long drought." Whether you are a relative or a close friend, you will miss it if you don't meet for a long time. Relatives or friends who haven't seen each other for a long time come to the door, and they are all very happy and enthusiastic, and talk to each other. There will also be a solid hospitality. But if you stay with relatives or friends for a long time, you will slowly lose your initial enthusiasm. Even the host family will be annoyed, and people who are guests will naturally be cheap.

As the saying goes, "the guest is content with the Lord." If there are guests at home, the host family should be polite, not as casual as usual among family members. So if you often go to a friend's house or a relative's house to play, it will naturally make people bored and alienate you.

"It's shameful to stay for a long time, but frequent visits to relatives are also very sparse." Literally, this sentence means that people should keep their distance, and so should intimate relationships. Distance produces beauty. After all, everyone needs a space to be alone with himself.

Life advice, careful reading is beneficial: social life, good communication. "Far is sparse, but near is greasy!" In fact, it is the actual situation in communication! Therefore, between people, we must keep a proper distance, keep our own personality independent, and don't become vassals of others in order to live a wonderful life!

Staying for a long time is cheap, and frequent visits to relatives are sparse. Excerpted from the first episode of Augmented Xianwen. It means that if you live in other people's homes for too long, people will become contemptuous and will no longer value you; If you come and go too often, your intimacy will drop and become unpopular.

I witnessed such a thing in Beijing. My younger brother works in Beijing and rents a house. My daughter-in-law is from the countryside and lives in Beijing. My only daughter goes to college in Nanjing. One person earns money to support three people, and he has to pay the rent. Life is not comfortable and life is tight. At first, his eldest brother worked in Beijing and lived with his family. Food and accommodation were free and he never paid rent and meals. He lived for a year. When something happened, his son went home to take over the job, and he still lived in his house, or lived for nothing. Without accommodation, brothers and nephews have nothing to say Both brothers are married and live separately. You teach your sister-in-law what to say, and you earn money. Can people afford to eat and live for free all the year round? Before the lease expired, the daughter-in-law insisted on moving from the Fifth Ring Road to Yanjiao to rent a house, leaving a nephew who worked.

This incident illustrates a truth very well. It is contemptible to stay for a long time and it is rare to visit relatives frequently.

Friends and relatives should master a degree of communication, generally do not stay long, and do not come and go too often. If you go too far, you must stop. Chinese New Year holidays, weddings, funerals, family events and other essential exchanges are indispensable, usually nothing to move around less, so when we meet, it seems intimate. Relatives and friends should keep a certain distance, so as to ensure that the family and friendship are beautiful, do not disturb each other, have less bad blood and keep fresh for a long time.

Simply put, one kind word is worth three times. That's the truth.