Children fight a lot at home.

With two children at home, there is bound to be competition, especially children under 6 years old and similar in age.

Toys and books can't always be bought in duplicate.

Always like to play with the other hand, which has become the core reason of daily struggle.

My two sisters often compete for toys and books at home.

Looking at my sister with tears in her eyes, she ran to me with tears in her eyes: mom, my sister robbed my toy. You said she was!

Should parents interfere?

I quite agree with the principle of American psychologist Mickey Princeton: the younger the child, the more parents should intervene to cultivate the child's good social skills; The older a child is, the less parents should interfere and cultivate his problem-solving ability.

It is normal for children around 3 years old to be self-centered and first think of meeting their own needs.

It is actually a good thing for two children to fight for toys, which proves that children have a sense of autonomy, a high sense of self-worth, respect their true feelings about toy demand, dare to say "no" and love to fight for it, and their psychological growth will be healthier in the future.

When parents are involved in the contradiction between two young children, they should remember the principle of "focusing on things, not on people", which can point out the child's wrong behavior, but can't deny the child's personality.

When children compete for toys, parents should avoid the following misunderstandings when dealing with them:

Myth 1: Let Dabao make way for Bao Xiao.

Many parents think Bauer is too young to understand. Dabao is older, he should know how to share with his younger brothers and sisters and set a good example. Therefore, we will ask Dabao to give way to Bauer.

Myth 2: Labeling

How can you hit your sister? She is so much younger than you. You are a bad boy!

Sister is still young. How painful can it be to hit you? You just punched and kicked your sister, which is not right.

This practice will make Dabao feel that his parents don't love themselves and don't understand themselves. So as to close their hearts and never communicate with their parents when things happen, because they think from the bottom of their hearts that their parents will not help them at all.

Myth 3: Dealing with problems with emotions

Sometimes, children's disputes will be amplified by their parents. The reason is: parents are in a bad mood, and children are set on fire, which has become an emotional outlet.

After a hard day's work, my parents came home from work and just opened the door. They saw two children fighting for toys. Emotion broke out on the spot, and the two children were scolded, which caused the children to be particularly wronged.

Parents can punish their children, but let them bear the natural consequences. Don't use punishment as an outlet for your negative emotions.

What should parents do when children are fighting for toys?

In our family, my sister often comes to me and says, Mom, my sister robbed my toy. You mean her!

At this time, I will say: Oh, yes! I have to think about this, and I don't have any good ideas now. Think about it, you two. If you think of a solution, you can tell your mother.

Two little guys start thinking about solutions, and they will come up with many different methods, such as:

Sister will say, [Sister, just hug me. Or, we can play together. ]

My sister will say, [Let my sister play first and give me five minutes, ok? ]

If the competition is too fierce, I will put away my toys first and take them out when they can have fun.

Sometimes, because of the competition for toys, two children cry, and everyone is wronged.

I won't talk about it at this time. First of all, I must accept the child's emotions.

Most of the time, I hold a child in one hand, and the two babies beat each other in my arms when they cry.

At this time, I will speak out loud and tell them clearly that I can release my emotions, but I can't do it. If I did, I wouldn't hug her.

At this time, they just cry and won't hit each other again.

They stopped crying when their mood improved. I began to communicate with them.

1, ask what just happened.

2. Let them talk about their feelings at that time.

I'll make them switch roles and think about their feelings. (Cultivate the ability to feel * * * with others)

3. Know what everyone wants.

Generally speaking, everyone wants to play with this toy first.

4. List the solutions to the problems together.

Two people play together.

Queue: The children who get it first play for 5 minutes, and the children behind play for 5 minutes, taking turns to play.

Exchange: If the toy belongs to Dabao, for example, Bao Xiao can exchange what Dabao likes with her.

Sharing: You can guide two children to share with each other first.

Waiting: a child plays with other toys first, and then plays with them when the other person stops playing.

When thinking about solutions to problems, children must be involved and all thoughts should be recorded.

5. Choose a plan that everyone is satisfied with.

The process of communication may be long and full of twists and turns. What parents need to do is to give their children correct guidance and encouragement, rather than taking the initiative to act as referees.

Smart parents should learn how to give their children space and opportunities to solve problems.

Giving children the opportunity to learn how to negotiate or solve problems independently is also an indispensable way to grow up. Parents can't always be around their children in the future, and self-solving ability is also an important foundation for children's future interpersonal relationships. Moreover, in the face of contradictions, sometimes children solve them better than their parents.